restart breathing

In the urban area at night, there are many tall buildings and bright lights.

Chen Fang held Lu Shiqing's hand tightly, looked around with the curiosity and timidity of a newborn lamb, desperately leaning towards Lu Shiqing, for fear of being swept away by this kind of excitement that he had never seen before.

Lu Shiqing led Chen Fang out of the station, it seemed that his purpose was very clear, and he walked very fast along the way.

He said he wanted Chen Fang to accompany him in the exam, but he didn't really intend to let him enter the exam room with him.He had inquired a long time ago that the exam was on a Saturday, and the place was at a high school in the urban area, which happened to be quite close to his home.Anyway, my mother had already taken the plane to which country she took the violin to. There was no one at home, so Lu Shiqing planned to take Chen Fang home early in the morning.

After confirming the situation at home again and again, Lu Shiqing bought two train tickets to the city on Friday night, escaped two evening self-study sessions, and abducted Chen Fang into the house.He tore off the dust cover covered by his mother on the furniture and piled it aside. The cold home became a little more insignificant. bedroom closes the door.

His clean oxygen cannot be soiled, he needs to be hugged and breathed, in the small space that belongs to them, that's enough.

Without thinking about changing clothes, Lu Shiqing threw aside the schoolbag with not much luggage. Lu Shiqing slammed Chen Fang down on the bed, and took care to protect the back of his head with his hands. go up.

There was a sudden weight on his body, Chen Fang was like a frightened bird, his eyes were round and bright, his eyelashes were trembling all the time as if he was about to fly away, but he was held in Lu Shiqing's arms and couldn't move.

"Well, why... aren't you preparing for the exam?" Chen Fang asked Lu Shiqing when he had time to breathe.

"Then... I have to prepare." Lu Shiqing said, her body still hadn't moved.

He knew that this should be one of the few chances for Chen Fang to come to this room, so he was a little nostalgic for this feeling, filling the space that belonged to him with the atmosphere that belonged to Chen Fang.Although he couldn't smell it, as long as he came back here, those breaths would wrap around his skin and enter his body with his breath, as if Chen Fang was with him all the time.

He doesn't enjoy being alone, he just has to get used to it.

There is almost no sign of anyone living in the house, like an empty house marked "check in with bags", and he also regards himself as a temporary resident.The oxygen in the room seems to have been gradually withdrawn with the indifference of family affection. He only feels suffocated here, so he cares so much about the breath that he can't catch.

Maybe it was just a placebo in essence, but it was used by him as the basis for survival.

"The exam is tomorrow." Chen Fang held Lu Shiqing's face in his hands, his breath was messed up by the kiss, and the words he said seemed calm, but there were still factors that made people unable to calm down, "There is still time after tomorrow."

Lu Shiqing looked deeply at Chen Fang, and felt that if he watched for a while longer, he would easily misfire, so he said "OK", got up from him, changed his clothes and sat at the desk to read the paper.

Seeing that Lu Shiqing remained motionless as if in a trance, Chen Fang was also sitting by the bed.Perhaps it was the first time he came to Lu Shiqing's house, he was a little cautious, and he was afraid of disturbing Lu Shiqing's thoughts. He sat quietly, turning his head to look at the room quietly when he had time.

Is this where Lu Shiqing grew up?

The walls are white and clean, and the bookshelves are exquisite solid wood, carefully matching the tone of the desk. There are sets of books and childhood toys neatly stacked on them. The floors are tightly stitched together. The spacious and bright windows let in sunlight and night lights, alternating day and night , the boy studying at his desk has grown into what he is now.

He is a child of light.

And what about myself?Maybe it just appeared here, a dark corner that was illuminated by temporary blessings.

He had never seen the hustle and bustle of the night, never been to such a high floor, and even the moment Lu Shiqing took him into the elevator, he was ignorant and flustered for no reason.

The illuminated cross-sea bridge is already his grandest fantasy of the world before him.But what he actually owns are rusty open-air stairs, dilapidated wooden windows and iron doors, and dilapidated houses filled with the pungent smell of alcohol, tobacco and pheromones.

It was hard to feel it in the same environment at school before, after all, Lu Shiqing didn't look squeamish.But when he really entered his living environment, Chen Fang suddenly realized that he and Lu Shiqing were too different people.

They have different worlds, separated by light years.

"Brother Fang."

Hearing Lu Shiqing's voice, Chen Fang came back to his senses, and a paper was brought in front of him.

"If you're bored, you can review it. It just so happens that there are math papers here. If you don't know it, just ask me. I don't think it's troublesome. I happen to be thinking very fast these days, so I'm sure I can explain it clearly." Lu Shiqing said with a smile.

"Okay." Chen Fang took the paper, and started from the multiple-choice questions at the place Lu Shiqing specially left for him at the table.

Chen Fang never made it difficult for himself when doing math problems, and the questions he couldn't do were all vacant. He turned the test paper over to write the big questions later, and looked up at Lu Shiqing by the way, and found that he had finished the paper and checked it again. , looking at himself quietly.

"The questions that couldn't be solved are all vacated, there are a lot..." Facing a person who just finished the math competition paper and got a few questions right, Chen Fang's inherent inferiority complex, the part related to learning was magnified, and he looked down. Said lazily.

"It's nothing." Lu Shiqing seemed to have seen through Chen Fang's thoughts, and touched his ears hidden by his hair with comforting hands, "It's a very smart way to cost-effectively."

"You, a person who hardly deducts points, actually praised me for being so smart." Although the words were a compliment to him, even Chen Fang himself didn't believe it.

"Of course you are smart." Lu Shiqing teased Chen Fang with a playful smile, "You already like me, how could you not be smart?"

"If you say that, you may be less intelligent." Chen Fang lowered his eyes.

"Then I'll teach you how to not be smart." Lu Shiqing drew the following elliptical function problem on a white paper, patiently wrote down the dense formula in detail, and explained to Chen Fang while writing: "Look, if you express all these in algebraic formulas and substitute them into the required formulas, most of them can be eliminated, but it's a bit troublesome to calculate."

Lu Shiqing took a pen and stroked up and down the last very long formula a few times, sorted out the results and did a simple calculation, and the answer he got was exactly the same as the reference answer.

Looking at the result, Chen Fang was unconsciously lost in thought.

He had never seen Lu Shiqing write such a troublesome problem-solving process, and he always pursued the easiest way, but now for him, he patiently wrote such a long list, it would probably be very troublesome.

He also wants to be the optimal solution, but he is not smart, so it is difficult to figure it out.

But Lu Shiqing is so smart.Will it be like doing a math problem, there is an easier way but you have to give in to a stupid child and take a detour, it will be very tiring, and if you wear off your patience, you will completely overturn the previous process and return to the original path.

"Do you want to try it yourself?" Lu Shiqing returned the pen to Chen Fang.

Chen Fang nodded and took the pen. According to what Lu Shiqing just taught, write more than half a page. It seems that the unintelligent method is not as easy as Lu Shiqing just cut and cut.Lu Shiqing leaned over and held Chen Fang's writing hand, and helped him simplify the formula while explaining his ideas, and filled the remaining half page before getting the final answer.

Lu Shiqing's palms were very hot, and Chen Fang's palms were also sweating.He opened his hand and looked at the wet sweat embedded in the skin lines, like fine points of light converging into a very shallow and small Milky Way, held in his hand, it will disappear as soon as the heat disappears.

Lu Shiqing took Chen Fang to take a shower, and found him his own pajamas. The hem of the top covered Chen Fang's buttocks, revealing two slender and clean legs, which reminded Lu Shiqing of Chen Fang wearing his school uniform for the first time The look of the coat.

Like an omega in boyfriend clothes.

It doesn't matter if it's not an omega, as long as it's his boyfriend.

Lu Shiqing turned off the light, hugged Chen Fang from behind and lay down under the blanket.Chen Fang's flesh is soft, his hair is soft, and the air around him seems to be soft, wrapping Lu Shiqing softly, and slowly sinking into the depths.

"Brother Fang." Perhaps due to the relaxation after exhaustion, Lu Shiqing didn't even need to speak, and mumbled, "I don't like what you said just now."

"What are you talking about?" Chen Fang turned his head slightly, rubbing the tip of his ear against Lu Shiqing's nose, his skin was flushed red by the scorching air.

"Call me not smart." Lu Shiqing said in a low voice, like a child throwing a temper tantrum.

Lu Shiqing didn't think highly of himself, he was scolded, and the words his mother taught him were hundreds of times worse than the simple "not smart", and he never cared about it.

But what Chen Fang said just now was not so much about Lu Shiqing, but more like talking about himself.This made Lu Shiqing unhappy.

You can say that he is not smart because he can't solve a math problem, you can say that he is not smart because he lost face and made a mistake, but if it's just because he likes Chen Fang, he won't accept it.

It is true that he is not like Chen Fang, who has to consider all possible unexpected situations before doing things, but it is not that he has not considered it at all.At least until now, he is still firmly thinking that one day in the future, he will take Chen Fang away from that dark corner, to a bright and warm place, and live a life that belongs to the two of them.

Will Chen Fang be willing?

He had to grab him and not let go.

Chen Fang felt that Lu Shiqing's hand went around and grabbed his own, holding it tightly, as if longing for flesh and blood, and never separated.

He hesitated for a while, and he didn't know what he was hesitating for, but he still gently held Lu Shiqing back with his hand, but it seemed that he couldn't exert strength.This doesn't feel like an agreement made with courage, but rather like some kind of helpless and pitiful comfort and coaxing.

"Okay, I was wrong." Chen Fang smiled and apologized well, "Of course you are smart."

Although people are not smart once in a while, smart people are smart people after all.

Only a fool will always take a detour, or soberly and confusedly desire something that was originally out of reach.