Derailed

In Fu Chiyan's memory, although he can't say that he is meticulous about the present, but at least he cares more and tries his best to be considerate. He always feels that he and the present are connected, at least the sweetness is more than the bitterness.

But in today's memory, most of the time he left him with his back, and many times, he didn't respond to what he said.

Fu Chiyan thinks it should be taken for granted, but in today's world, it is more like 20 years of unrequited love and pursuit, and it finally came true because of a high pheromone match.

Fu Chiyan swore that this was not his intention, but it looked like it was.

"You look too fierce, can you smile?" Fu Chiyan became a mercenary for the interstellar line after he escaped from the earth. Quite satisfied with him.

At this time, the owner of the ship, a cold and beautiful woman Omega, was chatting with him: "Smile can change many things, don't let yourself always look indifferent, smile more, care about others more, be more caring, You can get a lot of things."

……

Fu Chiyan began to make changes, because nowadays, and because he was homeless, he had to make himself likable.

As the days passed, Fu Chiyan found that he was lonely today than he had imagined.

He originally thought that Shi Jin at least had some socializing in school, and that he couldn't make good friends because Shi Jin's personality was too introverted, but the fact is... In his memory, Shi Jin suffered from "cold violence" on campus.

To be precise, it is not considered cold and violent, but everyone always treats him differently from his peers, occasionally mixed with some weird eyes and scrutiny, and has a serious sense of alienation.

Today is very beautiful, and his grades are also very good, which makes him stand out from the crowd of his kind, becoming a dazzling existence-and more likely to be envied.

So, he is so beautiful, is he popular in front of the opposite sex?

nor.

Because now married.

A beautiful Omega already has a master, and no matter how other Alphas hint or express it, they will not be moved. This kind of asking for nothing will often make the despicable people feel jealous - if they can't get him, they will say him. It's extremely bad, so that it doesn't look so embarrassing.

Nowadays, he is older than his classmates because of his absence from school, and he is also a rare married person. In addition, he cannot participate in many activities because of his frailty, which makes him look so out of group, cold-eyed by jealous people, smeared by despicable people... For various reasons, Shijin was "cold rejection" at school.

Go to school alone, go to class alone, go home alone, but fortunately, home is not empty.

Only the home is not empty yet.

……

Time flies by, and Fu Chiyan's mercenary work can be regarded as a job with his head tied to his waistband, so his income is also high. He read a lot of memories from his boss, and soon saw the year when the Zerg invaded the empire. That is... the second year after their marriage, the year when he treated the present with 'cold violence'.

When looking at this memory, their ship happened to be delivering goods to the polar glaciers, surrounded by a vast expanse of whiteness and bone-chilling cold.

Fu Chiyan's hands shaking the communicator, he didn't know if it was too cold or he was too scared.

And Shi Jin on the screen said to his back who was fully armed and about to leave for the army: "Come back early."

……

Everything was worse than Fu Chiyan imagined.

The home is also empty, so it goes without saying that it means nothing to the lonely era at that time.

In the beginning, he was still living a good life, eating, sleeping and washing dishes on time, and then day by day, the family was always greeted by AI, and there was no communication from school to family... Now he has become very silent, he no longer cooks by himself , no longer doing the dishes himself, he's getting bad.

Shijin is very afraid of pain, but in the end he can only resign himself to taking inhibitors again and again to survive the estrus period. Shijin has picked up the phone thousands of times to call the number of Fu Chiyan's army, but in the end he put it down. After a month, he really couldn't stand it, so he dialed for the first time...

Everyone knows what happened after that.

At that time, Fu Chiyan was concentrating on his work, and the phone calls were always perfunctory. In the end, they even almost quarreled.

"You should understand me better! I am fighting for the empire, and fighting for thousands of people of the empire!"

The house was so empty that Fu Chiyan's voice from the receiver seemed to have an echo.

"Beep-beep-"

Hanging up the phone, Shi Jin burst into tears.

……

It's much worse than that.

About a year after he performed his mission, Shijin was taken by his instructor to participate in a wine party. This time the wine party was different from the past, and the venue was a bar at the corner of the alley.

When Shijin arrived at the place, he felt something was wrong, but the teacher was leading him in front, so he couldn't turn around and leave.

"This is Shijin, my student."

The eyes of the rich and powerful sitting in the sofa booths lit up, it was a greedy light.

"Sir, I'm married, please be respectful."

After drinking for three rounds, the dignitaries present became dishonest. They tried to get close to him, but they were severely rejected by Shi Jin.

"Oh? Married? Why did you hear from your teacher that your husband never showed up? Are you really married?"

"I'm married, I've been marked!" The voice was loud now—he was afraid.

He kept casting glances at the tutor, but the tutor didn't look at him.

"Okay, okay." Probably looking at Shijin too scared, the other party didn't force it, but still glanced at Shijin's body nakedly, "Then I'll give you a hug, it's okay..."

"teacher!"

"Nowadays, why are you making such a fuss?"

……

No matter how you say today, you are still sick, and the last group of people are fine, but the whole incident has a great impact on today, grievances, fears, and the saddest thing is - no one to speak, no one to save , In the end, I could only hold the AI ​​and cry all night.

"You are a teacher, how can you take me to do that kind of thing?!" Probably too disappointed, this is the first time I have questioned others like this.

"That kind of thing? What's the matter? I don't see Mr. Li doing anything, just sitting next to you."

"He said he wanted to hug me!"

"Hug, what's the matter?"

Shi Jin was trembling with anger, unable to speak for a while, he repeated at a loss: "I'm already married..."

"Now, I don't know why you keep saying you're married?" Now is weak, so the instructor naturally thinks he's easy to bully, "Are you really married?"

"Really! I'm marked! Don't you all know..."

"I don't know, being marked doesn't necessarily mean you're married." The tutor said, "You really have a husband in the army? Why have I never met him? Or how many people in our school have seen him? He Don't care about yours?"

"..."

"If you really have a husband in the lieutenant colonel, let him tell the relevant department, our school's project has not been approved yet."

"..."

"Nowadays, you know, it's not easy to get sponsors now. As a student of our school, you should also give something. You keep saying that you have a husband in the army, but he doesn't care about anything. At most, the drinking game is just a small hand and a touch of the waist, so don't worry about it too much."

……

What about this.

With his current birth, and with his position that he has paid for...how come this? !

How could the general's son and the lieutenant colonel's lover be reduced to being taken by the teacher to accompany the powerful people to drink? !

Yes, the relationship between Shi Jin and the Shi family has always been bad, so few people know that he is the son of the general.

But he... the instructor has already said the answer.

Fu Chiyan has never deliberately said in front of outsiders that he is the husband of the present, and he has never been to the school of the present, because he feels that marriage is a matter between two people, and military personnel cannot use their privileges to oppress civilians. Keep it in mind.

In some respects, Fu Chiyan was as conservative and timid as he is today.

Fu Chiyan didn't know at the time that it was one thing not to use his privileges to bully civilians, but as a husband, it was natural and necessary for him to protect his lover and use his own advantages to deter possible bullying. .

His never showing up, his indifference, his way of getting along without favoritism... makes others feel that this is just the way it is today.

Today there is no protection.

……

Fu Chiyan vomited.

He vomited faintly in the bathroom of the spaceship.

He has always been in good health, everyone thought something was wrong with him, and the boss rushed to see him.

"Are you suffering from an arctic reaction?" The boss was wearing a pair of [-]cm high heels, but his work was still in a hurry. The medicines and supplies needed for the arctic reaction were immediately delivered to Fu Chiyan's mouth. "Eat quickly, don't delay my next trip..."

The moment he saw Fu Chiyan's expression, the boss fell silent again.

She put away the medicine and turned to talk to the people around her.

After Fu Chiyan finished vomiting, a notepad was handed to him.

"If you're really sad, just write it down," she said. "It's a way to vent, and the notebook will keep your secrets."

……

Fu Chiyan hated himself countless times.

I hate myself why I was so stupid back then, why my head was so 'shaft', why didn't I protect Shijin, why wasn't he there when Shijin was in pain? !

Correct.

Perhaps he was already dead.

Also should have died long ago.

The laser gun is aimed at the temple and disappears from the world with a single click.

But at this moment, the breeze blew open the first page of the notebook, and it read: "Suiciders cannot go to heaven."

Yes.

If he committed suicide, he might not be able to see the present.

……

……

It wasn't until now that Fu Chiyan gradually understood every word Shi Jin said in front of him.

"It's great, I can have a child with me in the future."

It's not because he likes children so much nowadays, but because he is too lonely, the only thing he thinks about is children.

With a child, Fu Chiyan will not be so lonely. With a child, Fu Chiyan will have regular holidays to go home to visit the child, and he will not be so helpless.

But in the end it was all in vain.

On the day the child died, he fell down the stairs of the hospital because he was too dazed. His head was covered with blood, but he didn't get up to treat him. Painful, he wailed.

……

"Now, are you okay?"

"fine."

……

After reading all the memories, the boss of the memory machine asked Fu Chiyan meaningfully at the end.

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

"...Please help me send Shi Jin's body back, and put it in front of the hospital, or anywhere, the Shi family will definitely find it."

"Okay." The boss stroked the Buddhist beads in his hand and smiled at him, "I heard that you are helping Captain Liya. She has always been very kind to her subordinates. After you die, can you give me the pension?"

"Okay." Of course Fu Chiyan agreed, "But I won't commit suicide."

"Oh?" The boss was surprised.

"If you want a pension, just expect Star Pirates to work harder."

……

Fu Chiyan stayed under Sister Ya's staff for about ten years, and then went to other places, not because of anything else, but because - Sister Ya's subordinates were too safe.

Suicide failed, he had always hoped that there would be other ways to accompany Shi Jin.

Sister Ke Ya's subordinates are so safe, it may take a long time for his 'dream' to come true.

Since then, Fu Chiyan has embarked on a journey of wandering alone, and has spent nearly a hundred years of wandering alone.

In a hundred years, he has traveled to nearly ten thousand places, thousands of planets, and met thousands of people. As a mercenary, he always rushed to the front. He hoped that the bullet would grow eyes and pass through his chest. , he was enlightened by countless people to think about it, and he also tried to start a new relationship with other Omega...

But all in vain.

He thinks about the present in everything he does.

Would Shiji like him smiling like this?Does he feel charming now dressed like this?Mr. Li next to him made Omega blush when he spoke like this. If he did the same, would he blush now?

He started to say soft words to Omega, and cast affectionate eyes on every Omega with lemon flavor pheromone... Some people called him a scumbag, and some said he was provocative without knowing it.

But in fact, he is just imitating and learning, and every action is accompanied by fantasies about the present.

It can only be a fantasy.

Fu Chiyan found that he was starting to age.

There are many wrinkles, and the corners of the eyes are drooping... The person in the photo is still so young, how can he be old?

Fu Chiyan finally had a place to go for the money he earned through his life and death.

"Your bones are moving too much, and your body may not be able to hold it in a few decades..." the doctor had to remind him. "Some of the current cosmetic rays are harmful to the body and will shorten life span."

"It doesn't matter."

Yes, it doesn't matter.

He even hoped that death would come sooner.

He forgot that thousands of plastic surgeries have been performed in the past hundred years, but thanks to the development of technology, he is indeed as young as in his 20s.

His face is not as razor-sharp as it used to be, his eyes are not as sharp as eagles, he always has a smile on his face, and there is always kindness in his eyes. Every word he says is appropriate, and occasionally a word of concern can make an Omega who has never seen the world Blushing and beating heartbeat - everyone likes him very much, and presumably they will like it now.

……

Fu Chiyan began to have the illusion of coming back every autumn.

He would talk to Shi Jin alone in the room, hug Shi Jin alone and say that he missed him very much, and eat two meals alone, saying that one part belonged to Shi Jin.

Every autumn, he has a passionate love affair with a non-existent lover. Everyone knows that Fu Chiyan is crazy, but because of his exceptionally sharp marksmanship, he is still very popular when he is sober.

……

In the end, Fu Chiyan stopped being a mercenary, and he stopped washing and tidying himself up. He wandered around and finally came to the polar end of space.

I heard that there is a cosmic aurora here that can fulfill wishes, and countless people have realized their dreams here-although no one has seen the legendary aurora for thousands of years.

But who cares, alive is alive, just wait.

One year, two years, three years... On the first day of spring, the aurora appeared.

"Ah!!!!" Everyone in the polar station exclaimed, "There is really an aurora!!!"

Fu Chiyan raised his head abruptly.

I want to see the present.

His tears had already solidified into ice balls covered by the icy cold wind in the polar region, but he repeated firmly in his heart countless times: I want to see the present.

If only we could turn back time.

If he could do it all over again, he would try his best to love him.