Gluttonous canteen

"Has the Palace Museum manifested?" The more Zhang Tao walked in, the more likely he felt that this place was possessed by an exhibition room in the Forbidden City, but unlike those exhibitions that only had cold clothes, there were even them here. The masters of the house were also exhibited together, the ring is fat, the swallows are thin, and each leads the coquettishness.

"Could it be that this general became King of the Mountain after his death, and soon he will go out to snatch a flower girl and come back to play, but people look down on him, and he becomes so angry that he lights up the sky lanterns on all the girls?"

Zhang Tao's imagination is quite rich, the long years have made him idle, serious classics and history collections are not his thing, but novels, slang, market rumors are his true love, from the earliest gossip tabloid - Warring States Silk Book, to the recent market There are all kinds of Chicken Soup Reader Youth Digest Stories on the Internet. In the past ten years or so, he has become obsessed with online articles. He almost bought a copy of the autographed version, traditional version, simplified version, and personal blog of all the giant gods and goddesses. Yi Lehu, all of them are stored in the cellar in the backyard of his house. The land near his house has almost been hollowed out by Li Zi’s burglary. I’m not afraid of anything else, but they are afraid that the stuff will be exposed in a year’s turmoil. Several have to be handed over to the state.

"Wait a minute, look, these girls." Li Chuo kept walking forward, and came to a girl wearing a skirt. The muscles have long been shriveled, the eyelids have rotted away, the eyeball on one side has rotted away, and the other side is still connected to a few nerves, hanging around the eye sockets, crumbling, obsessive-compulsive disorder really wants to squeeze it out down.

"What's the matter with these girls? Well, I've been looking at her for a long time too, I can't bear it!" Zhang Tao had a mild obsessive-compulsive disorder, so he directly plucked the girl's other eyeball with his bare hands.

"..." Li Chuo turned his face away, he couldn't bear to look directly at him.

"I mean, I don't know much about the girls in the front, but the makeup of the girls in the back are all dressed up by unmarried girls of Yunying. 'one's gift."

Li Chuo looked away and waited for Zhang Tao to finish dealing with the eye, then turned his face, said "Excuse me", stretched out his hand to hold the wrist of the female corpse, lifted the green sleeve, and found it on the girl's forearm. A very pale red dot.

"Sure enough." Li Chuo nodded.

"Wow, this is..." Zhang Tao blushed a little. Although he had personally experienced the birth and death of such legends, because he had never married a daughter-in-law, it was really the first time he saw it on a living... dead person. to the deity.

"Shou Gongsha, the etiquette system in the ancient Central Plains was strict, and the dressing and dressing of girls in the boudoir and married girls are completely different. These girls are all young girls who have not left the court." Li Chuo looked around and saw the women arranged in strict chronological order. They stood there one by one, dressed in pink, willow and green, stretching endlessly, with bright rouge and gouache remaining on their pale and withered faces. It seemed that after many years, they were still full of girlish longing, waiting for their good wishes. people.

"It turns out that these girls are the food reserves of 'Grandfather of the Mountain God'? Because they couldn't find a place to put them, they were thrown on top of the original palace lanterns one by one..." Zhang Tao fiddled with the few in front. Because of the age of the female corpse, which has been almost completely weathered, the body melts in the wind, only the clothes are left to the ground, and the scattered pieces are turned into mud and dust, and only the fragrance remains the same... It turns out that there is really only one candlestick in the body of the corpse, not For example, in Li Chuo's imperial tomb, there are so many court ladies who have been made into candles.

"This old thing is quite creative, alas, I feel a little sick to my stomach." Zhang Tao felt uncomfortable when he thought that he had just had a coquettish necrophilia, and even Li Chuo remembered that he had kissed him just now. , also a little conditioned reflex to want to vomit.

"Maybe it's food reserves, maybe reptiles simply have a hobby of collecting things, or maybe they want to attract the souls of those soldiers to come to pass by? Anyway, Grandpa Mountain God was taken by you... Well, these are not important now."

"Ah, it turns out that there is such an effect. No wonder people say that men and women are not tired when working together. Ah yes, we'll finish picking up the condiments in a while. Let's take the last girl's body away. It's so pitiful."

"Heh, you are really sympathetic and sympathetic."

"What are you thinking? The ashes of relatives in the imperial capital are rewarded with 5000 yuan. Don't waste it. Let's go up and find a place to cremate her, and then get a fake certificate to claim the money."

"Is it so easy to handle false certificates? Didn't you say what kind of information is now... the information age?"

"Don't worry, with Wang Dun here, everything will be easy... Ouch!" Zhang Tao only cared about discussing with Li Chuo about claiming the bounty, and kept walking backwards to talk to him. On the top of the thing, the thing was very elastic, and it bounced him out with a duang sound, but there was not a distance of one or two meters, and it seemed to stick to his buttocks again, pulling his body back again. , going back and forth endlessly, just like the few times when a person is bungee jumping, the rope has just been straightened.

"Hey, it's really fun." Zhang Tao turned his back to the back, completely unaware of what was stuck to his buttocks, but felt quite free, bouncing back and forth, and ran vigorously in the direction of Li Chuo, But just as he was about to grab him, he was dragged back by the elastic thing behind him.

"What is this...spider silk?"

It was too dark in Shinto, Li Chuo squinted his eyes, and with the help of the faint light from the girls behind him who were lighting up the sky lanterns, he could only see a little bit of a shiny thing sticking behind Zhang Tao. I kind of think of spider webs, but it shouldn’t be possible. If spider webs are so thick and elastic, how big are spiders...

Thinking of this, Li Chuo suddenly pulled out the sword from his waist like lightning and flint, and stabbed at Zhang Tao's ass.

"Emma! The ass is exploding!" Zhang Tao yelled, covering his butt to prevent him from approaching. When the two were entangled, suddenly, a giant pincer jumped out from a dark corner.

"Heh!" Li Chuo scolded arrogantly, from top to bottom, left and right, and slashed down with a sword!

With a clang, the giant pincers fell to the ground, and the fangs on them were still wriggling, like centipedes, dead but not stiff.

Immediately afterwards, they heard the sound of swishing. It may be that the owner of the giant claw fled and retreated into the depths of the tomb.

"It's such a big claw. Has the crab become a sperm?"

Zhang Tao didn't seem to have any concerns about the situation where his butt was stuck, he just concentrated on looking at the thing that looked like a crab claw on the ground.

"What's the matter, buddy, someone cooked it?" Zhang Tao molested towards the depths of the Shinto, but only his voice kept echoing in the tomb passage, and no one answered.

"It's a spider." Li Chuo hurried forward and stretched out his hands to tear the silk thread on Zhang Tao's buttocks, but the stickiness of the spider silk seemed to be very strong, and the silk thread just spit out stood firmly on Zhang Tao's buttocks like 502 , Now it has solidified, and it is impossible to pull it with bare hands.

"Turn around and stick your ass up to face me."

After working hard for a long time, Li Chuo finally gave up his efforts and poked Zhang Tao's ass which was still struggling.

"Uh, that's not good." Zhang Tao said that he didn't want it, but he turned around helplessly, raised his hips, and swayed.

"Oh, well, I took advantage of you for the first time, and it's not impossible to change you this time. There is a saying that good and evil will be rewarded in the end, just fight for early arrival and late arrival, a couple of days, a hundred days of grace, Why be too serious about being a human being, as long as you pay enough alimony, it doesn't matter if you become a bastard..."

"You're not finished yet!" Li Chuo kicked Zhang Tao's ass.

"I'm going to use Shang Fang's sword to cut off that spider thread!"

"Oh! Come on then." Hearing that it was not a counterattack, Zhang Tao felt more at ease, and his buttocks were more standard.

Just when Li Chuo raised the sword in his hand and was about to cut down on the thin spider silk at the mouth of a bowl, suddenly, a strong air flow blew out from the depths of the Shinto, mixed with a fishy smell, which made the two of them choke. They all coughed at the same time, and then, Zhang Tao's buttocks suddenly felt tight.

"Hey? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" The spider silk that hadn't held back suddenly tightened up, and a very strong pulling force came from another section, pulling the unsuspecting Zhang Tao directly into the divine way. the depths!

"Young hero, help!" Zhang Tao yelled foamingly, his body was dragged by the spider's thread to the depths of the cave at a very fast speed, his feet scratched the ground, trying to find a point of strength, but he couldn't wish.

"Zhang Tao!" Li Chuo arched his body while he was being dragged away, knocked his knees to hit his chest, kicked his buttocks with his heels, and performed the technique of lightness kung fu, Lu Fu He Xing followed closely all the way.

"Wow, young man, you are running so fast. From now on, we will set up a stall selling stewed and boiled fire at night, and when we meet the city management to copy the stall, will you be in charge of serving the pot?" Zhang Tao saw that Li Chuo was chasing him until he was only half left The distance of two body lengths, the face did not have the panic expression that should have been seen when being dragged away by the giant spider, but talked to him about the daily life.

"Shut up..." Li Chuo struggled to catch his breath, opened his mouth to scold him, but couldn't breathe, pulled his chest several times, and managed to utter two words.

"Hey, don't be angry... Ouch!" Just when Zhang Tao was about to say something to comfort him, suddenly, the spider thread pulling him seemed to be blocked by something, and suddenly lost his tension, Zhang Tao also suddenly Being stuck on something, his butt bumped against a hard object with a bang, stopping his figure.

"Ouch my ass!" Zhang Tao yelled out the pain, and looked back crying.

It was a gray, dead face.