my boyfriend is too random

"Yang Yiming," Da Ding said while patting Yang Yiming's back, "how long are you going to cough? Almost?"

Yang Yiming didn't even have the strength to roll his eyes. He thought to himself, Da Ding, that your emotional intelligence is really worrying. Fortunately, you are not a "social person" in the true sense, otherwise you would be beaten to death every minute.

Yang Yiming straightened up while wiping his tears, panted for a long time and said: "Da Ding, you can't make such jokes when eating."

Da Ding shrugged: "I'm not kidding, I think the person you mentioned is Ding Zimu."

"Ding Zimu is a man!"

"What's wrong with the man?" Da Ding said in surprise, "Anyway, having children is not within your standards."

Yang Yiming choked, there was no problem with this logic at all.

"Besides, you really liked Ding Zimu." Ding said flatly, "I can see that you like him very much."

Yang Yiming's eyes widened, and he really wanted to rush over to silence him.He always thought that Ding Zimu was a delicate person, while Ding was as rough as a wilderness; but he never expected that it was Ding who discovered it first.

Do you admit it?Of course you can't admit it!Once a psychological counselor has an emotional relationship with a patient, the treatment must stop. This is a rule that all practicing counselors must abide by.Because it will seriously interfere with the treatment, bring unpredictable and serious consequences, irreversible harm to the patient, and the license will be revoked for myself.This is a profession that cannot coexist with love.

What if Ding Zimu is handed over to another consultant?Yang Yiming has struggled with this question many times, and has been denied many times, and there is still no answer to this day.

But what if you deny it?Do you really not like it?Will it affect the treatment?Don't be hypocritical, you've already been tempted!Yang Yiming scolded himself fiercely in his heart, but when facing Da Ding's probing eyes, he still made a decision in an instant: "Of course I like him, but I also like you very much, I like many people If we go, we can’t all marry and go home, can we?”

In the same words, he fudged Yang Shuangming, in exchange for a sneer; when he said it to Da Ding, Da Ding's eyes lit up all of a sudden.

"Really?" He eagerly leaned over Yang Yiming, his lips trembling slightly with nervousness, "Are you telling the truth?"

"Really, that's why I really like Ding Zimu, but that kind of liking is different from the liking of marrying a wife. Don't think about it, and don't worry, I won't do anything to your baby Mumu." Yang Yiming opened joked.He had noticed very early on that Da Ding had an unusually strong desire to protect Ding Zimu, and was always ready to rush out to help him solve some possible troubles.But this is not good, Ding Zimu is too dependent on Ding, although he himself is not aware of it, but for a long time Ding Zimu has no chance to face difficulties and threats independently, which makes his personality more and more unsound. Small setbacks have the potential to defeat him.

Let Da Ding control it, it is best not to show up, let Ding Zimu learn to solve problems by himself.Yang Yiming thought.

Da Ding shook his head vigorously: "No, no, that's not what I said."

"Hey?" Yang Yiming froze for a moment, "Which sentence did you say?"

"Before you..." Da Ding suddenly stopped in the middle of speaking, and he took the bowl of noodles from the small table next to him, "Here, do you still want to eat?"

Yang Yiming shook his head and looked at Ding Zimu suspiciously: "What do you want to say?"

"I want to say that I'm very happy. You said you like Ding Zimu. I'm very happy. There are not many people who like him." Ding said calmly, "You can just like him. It doesn't matter if you marry him or not. It is also impossible to marry him back home." Da Ding was telling the truth, he carefully hid Yang Yiming's "I like you too" in his heart without revealing anything.With this "like", he felt that he could stay with Ding Zimu and Yang Yiming in a down-to-earth manner.

Yang Yiming replayed what he just said in his mind, and he didn't think there was anything wrong, so he accepted Dading's explanation, and said, "So don't worry, I will cure him."

Da Ding stared at him and asked, "What does 'cure' mean?"

Yang Yiming was startled, and suddenly realized that he had said something wrong. For a DID, the so-called "cure" is to make the secondary personality disappear or not appear. Doesn't that mean...

Yang Yiming was a little embarrassed, feeling that he was a perverted killer, and was saying to the victim: "Don't worry, I will do my best to kill you."

Da Ding asked unrelentingly: "I've always wanted to ask you, where will we be after Ding Zimu is cured?"

Yang Yiming thought for a while, then honestly shook his head: "I don't know, according to the principles of psychology, you... will hide."

Yang Yiming said very implicitly, in fact, if the treatment is very successful, the sub-personality will disappear completely, Da Ding, this "person" will disappear, and there will never be traces of him in this world, except for himself, I am afraid Even Ding Zimu himself would not know that there used to be such a person who tried his best to guard day and night just to protect him.

"What do you mean by hiding?"

"Hiding is..." Yang Yiming thought for a while, "like now, hiding in Ding Zimu's body, you can guard him and see him, but if Ding Zimu disagrees, you may... you can't come out .”

Da Ding was silent, it was like his previous life, even worse than that!

Yang Yiming patted Ding's hand comfortingly and said, "Don't worry, in fact, according to the cases I have collected, most of the cases show that it is best for the main personality and the sub-personality to be integrated and coexist harmoniously."

"What is 'integration'?"

Yang Yiming thought about it, and felt that this explanation was quite hurtful. In fact, as a secondary personality, his existence itself was "superfluous", and the purpose of all treatment was to make it "disappear".Yang Yiming looked at Ding, thought for a while and said, "I don't know how to 'harmoniously coexist'. After all, I haven't come into contact with real cases, but don't worry, Ding Zimu will get better, better than now."

"what about me?"

"You... will be better than now." Yang Yiming felt very distressed, for the first time he saw the real "Da Ding" on Ding Zimu's face.The face he was already familiar with had a completely unfamiliar expression, so that the corners of the eyes and brows were all changed. Now facing this face, even if Da Ding didn't say a word, he couldn't possibly mistake him for "Ding Zimu".

At this moment, Da Ding has completely and completely occupied Ding Zimu's body.

Yang Yiming shivered violently, and he felt a deep sense of fear.He feels that he is gradually losing Ding Zimu, the Ding Zimu who can make delicious desserts; the very gentle Ding Zimu who can make people feel at ease with a smile; Ding Zimu, who is invincible in the world.

That Ding Zimu is what I like, I can't and dare not say I like it, I would rather just watch him quietly, occasionally eat the matcha rolls he made, drink a cup of coffee he made, and then look at his warm smile .

He wanted to keep that Ding Zimu!

"Da Ding," Yang Yiming said tentatively, "are you tired? You had a fight today, and you cooked for me again. It's so late, you should go to sleep."

Da Ding shook his head slowly: "I'm looking at you."

"I'm fine," Yang Yiming tried to smile convincingly, "I'll be fine after a night of sleep, and I'll be fine if I take two days off tomorrow to rest at home."

Da Ding still shook his head: "I'll wait until you fall asleep before leaving."

Yang Yiming had no choice but to lie down and pull up the quilt to cover half of his face: "Then I'll go to bed first, and turn off the lights for me when you leave."

Da Ding said "hmm".

Yang Yiming closed his eyes, and heard Da Ding stand up and walk to the door, and then with a "snap", the lights in the room went out, and then in the darkness, he heard Da Ding grope and sit by the bed.

what to do?Yang Yiming thought with a headache, things seemed to be more complicated.

***

Da Ding sat quietly in the dark, he was very quiet and steady, in fact he was very used to staying in the dark, he spent a large part of his life in the dark quietly.Besides, with Yang Yiming beside him, he could hear Yang Yiming's breathing and vaguely see the outline of Yang Yiming's body, which made him very happy, and he was willing to just sit quietly all the time.

After an unknown amount of time, Yang Yiming finally fell asleep, and his slight snoring could be heard in the dark.Da Ding stood up quietly, opened the door and walked out.He rummaged through his pockets and took Ding Zimu's wallet to the 24-hour convenience store downstairs to buy half a dozen coffees and a few cans of Red Bull.

He drank two cans of coffee, then put the rest of the drink in the cabinet of Ding Zimu's bedroom, and went to the bathroom to take a cold shower.After coming out of the bathroom, there was no trace of sleepiness, and the whole person was very energetic.He sat quietly on the chair in the bedroom alone, looking at the dark sky outside the window.

Da Ding said to himself: I can't sleep, if I fall asleep, it will disappear.

***

The next day, Yang Yiming woke up with a severe headache. He had a nightmare all night. In the dream, Ding Kuiqiang was no longer holding broken glass, but a sharp dagger.But this time, he couldn't stop it.He watched Ding Zimu fall down, covered in blood, and then he pulled his skirt and said, "Teacher Yang, help me."

In the dream, he was panicked and heartbroken, he broke down and hugged Ding Zimu and yelled, but Ding Zimu still closed his eyes.Then in an instant, another Ding Zimu stood beside him and said flatly, "Yang Yiming, what are you yelling about?"

Yang Yiming looked down, and Ding Zimu in his arms was gone, but there was an eight-year-old child leaning on his chest and weeping mournfully.Yang Yiming raised the child's head, but saw a blank face...

Yang Yiming rubbed the center of his eyebrows, and felt that it was necessary to find a painkiller. After this night, the wound and head all ached violently, making people restless.He put on his clothes and got out of bed to wash. When he opened the door and went out, he saw several large bowls upside down on the dining table.

"Ding Zimu?" Yang Yiming called out.

A man came out of the kitchen with an impatient face and an empty bowl in his hand: "What are you doing?"

"Da Ding," Yang Yiming sighed, "You wake up really early."

"How do you know it's me?" Da Ding asked, frowning.

Yang Yiming shrugged: "Intuition." In fact, he didn't have the nerve to tell Ding that if it was Ding Zimu, his tone would not be so cold and impatient.

"Come over for dinner," Ding pursed his lips, showing a specious smile, "I bought it earlier, it should be quite delicious."

Yang Yiming sat down and opened the big upside-down bowl. There was a drawer of buns and a bowl of tofu nao, still steaming.He took the spoon and asked, "Where's yours?"

"I'm done eating," Da Ding wiped his hands and sat beside him, handing him a small plate, "Do you want vinegar?"

Yang Yiming shook his head, wondering why Da Ding was still looking here, but due to the awkward conversation last night, he really didn't have the face to ask when Ding Zimu would be released.

Anyway, since he is here, he happens to have some questions to ask him.Yang Yiming finished his breakfast with a grunt, wiped his mouth and said, "Da Ding, I have something to ask you, okay?"

Ding lowered his head to clean up the table, and silently expressed his refusal.

But Yang Yiming did not give up, he looked at Ding stubbornly and said: "There are some things I must know, otherwise I can't help Ding Zimu and I can't help you, can you tell me?"

"I'm going to wash the dishes." Da Ding whispered and slipped into the kitchen.

Yang Yiming was sitting at the dining table pondering. He always felt that since yesterday, some kind of unexpected changes had taken place in Ding. Attitudes also seem to have changed.

Ding used to protect Ding Zimu like a hen, nervous and aggressive; but now Ding seems unwilling to mention Ding Zimu, and pays more attention to "self" awareness.

Yang Yiming was very nervous, which can only explain one problem, that is, Da Ding began to "awaken", and he began to fight for his own survival and interests as an "independent person".

Where will Ding Zimu go?Yang Yiming secretly clenched his fists. It is not uncommon for such cases. The sub-personality will eventually bite back, completely suppressing the main personality, and then occupying the entire body...

Yang Yiming collected himself and followed Da Ding into the kitchen: "Da Ding, how long have you known Ding Zimu?"

"Can not remember."

"Then what is your earliest memory about Ding Zimu?"

"forget."

So Yang Yiming didn't ask any further questions, but leaned against the kitchen door and waited patiently for Ding to finish washing the three bowls at an extremely slow speed.

"Da Ding," Yang Yiming said, "let's talk about it. You can't avoid things if you don't talk about them. Problems have to be solved, whether it's yours or Ding Zimu's."

Da Ding glanced at Yang Yiming and said, "Then tell me, how can I solve my problem?"

"How to solve your problem depends on how much I know you and Ding Zimu. If you don't say anything now, what do you want me to do?"

"Why don't you ask Ding Zimu?"

Yang Yiming smiled: "If Ding Zimu remembered everything, there would be no you."

Da Ding turned his gaze out of the window, staring at a cloud slowly passing by in the sky without saying a word.

Indeed, most of the causes of DID are due to "escape", encountering things that you can't bear, so you imagine a "clone" to help you bear or resist this kind of harm. Over time, that part of the subconscious will gradually improve into a Independent "personality".The existence of this "personality" took over everything he didn't want to bear or face, including those memories and past events.

"So, tell me." Yang Yiming said encouragingly, "You know I won't hurt you."

"I really don't remember." Da Ding said with a somewhat sarcastic smile, "Just because I've known Ding Zimu for a long time doesn't mean I can understand everything about him."

"Then what do you remember?"

"Beating!" Da Ding shrugged his shoulders. "Beatings are endless, with sticks, whips, brooms... Anyway, you can use whatever comes your way."

Yang Yiming's heart tightened, and he continued to ask, "Why were you beaten?"

"What's the reason for being beaten?" Da Ding laughed, "If you want to be beaten, you can do it."

"So Ding Zimu is very afraid of being beaten?"

"Aren't you afraid?"

"That day, the day you received the call from Ding Kuiqiang, you didn't come. Is it because Ding Zimu is not afraid of Ding Kuiqiang on the other end of the phone?" Yang Yiming speculated, "But yesterday, Ding Kuiqiang himself appeared in front of Ding Zimu, so Ding Zimu Mu was terrified, he thought of the beatings he had received before, so you came to help him?"

Da Ding sneered: "Do you think Ding Kuiqiang can scare Ding Zimu like that just because of Ding Kuiqiang's current appearance?"

Yang Yiming felt a buzzing in his head, and his whole body was numb.

"You mean... Ding Zimu is not afraid of just being beaten?" Yang Yiming gasped and asked, he couldn't imagine that after being beaten like that for a long time, the thing Ding Zimu feared the most was not being beaten!

what is that?