door to happiness

At twelve o'clock in the morning, I received a text message from the bank, and the amount of "Love Passbook" has changed again.Li Xiangyu is a lunatic, where did he go to find an ATM machine at night?Is it such a happy thing to quarrel with me?

In the next six months, there was no more news about Li Xiangyu and Liang Yan, and the occasional information I got was from my father and mother.

I still occasionally go to his QQ space to see how he is doing.

On the 2008th day of the twelfth lunar month in 99, Liang Yan "boarded" Li Xiangyu's QQ space for the first time, and replaced me in one fell swoop, becoming the heroine of his life.She and Li Xiangyu took a set of wedding dresses, there are "[-]" photos in full, each one is beautiful and extremely happy.

Under each photo, there is a line of small words in PS - no longer "Haiwuya is empty and wide, love is forever if you don't die", but "The medicine path has never been swept away by customers, and the Pengmen is now opened for you ".Is the Pengmen open for you now?Could this be Li Xiangyu's promise to Liang Yan?

Liang Yan probably likes him, otherwise she wouldn't still love him even though she knew he liked me.Now, he is finally willing to open his heart to her.She is so afraid of marriage, but as she said, if the other party is Li Xiangyu, she will feel that it doesn't matter.

When I inadvertently put the mouse on the thumbnails of the photos, each photo will display the same line of words: "The space will not be updated anymore, and you don't need to go up to see it anymore."

Won't update again?Don't need to come up to see?Could it be that his daily updates and daily life are just for me to see?Every time I exit from his space, I will quietly delete the access record, how does he know that I went to his space?

Peek into his space!peeping!I can't help but think of the first time I went to spy on him at the place where he worked part-time.How stupid I was at that time!

I flipped through his wedding photos foolishly, and when I found No. 90, a familiar photo appeared in front of me. It was the one we were secretly photographed by Luo Qi in Hengshan.This is the one with the most natural and sunny smile among the 99 photos.He has cut out the background and replaced it with a church.

The picture became clearer and clearer in my eyes. I don't know if it was the dilated pupils or the sudden enlargement of the picture. I seemed to be sucked into the picture scroll by a magical force.In the picture scroll, Li Xiangyu and I are embracing each other, and the priest solemnly testifies to our marriage in front of us...

Gently opening this photo, I saw this description written next to this photo: "Our wedding in Chengdong Catholic Church on the sixth day of the first month of the lunar calendar in 2009".

This is an invitation letter, as he said, he will give me the invitation card in QQ space, if I am willing to go, he will give the invitation card to me at any time.There is still a period of time before the sixth day of the first month of 2009. Should I go or not?What kind of gift should I prepare for him?

To go or not to go, the question tormented me.

Mom and Dad have already received the invitation, but they are afraid that I will be sad, so they always discuss secretly behind my back, but as everyone knows, this will only make me more sad.

Xiao Bo is very happy, because his beloved brother Xiangyu finally has a wife.He has a sister-in-law, and there will be one more person who loves him in the future.

I can't be happy at all!

Dad went to pick out a famous watch, more than 1 yuan, which was regarded as a wedding gift for Li Xiangyu.

On the day I bought the watch, I cried and said to my father: "You are biased. You bought such a good watch for my brother, but you refused to buy it for me."

The unscrupulous merchant immediately persuaded Yong Yong's father to buy another one.

Dad silently bought another one.Why do I cry, he knows!

Two identical watches are worn on the hands of two people who once loved each other. Can this be considered a couple watch?I think it should count.

"What are you going to give him?" Dad asked me.

I really want to tell him that I want to give him myself, if he wants it.But, I can't say that anymore.

"You'd better not go, it's just sad to go! Over there, I will help you get around." Dad patted my shoulder and comforted me.

"Xiangyu is a real kid," my mother complained, "You are so young, why are you in such a rush to get married? It's not 27 or [-] anymore!"

"Dad, do I want to stay with my mother for a few days?" I suddenly said this, and my father and mother were shocked.

Ever since my mom found out I was gay, he came to my house and made a few big fights.When I went to her again, the new dad had some opinions on me, as if he didn't welcome me very much.Ever since junior high school, I have basically met my mother outside, and occasionally went to my new father's house, and I just left after a meal and never stayed overnight.

"Chinese New Year is coming soon, it may not be convenient over there, why don't you go to the countryside to see grandma?" My mother was a little worried that I would not be accepted by my new father, so she gave her a more ideal plan.But she doesn't know, I just want to avoid everything related to Li Xiangyu, only there is no shadow of Li Xiangyu.

"Then go, it's not someone else's mother! You are so old, they can't do anything to you."

I went to my mother's house and stayed there for ten days, although my mother and new father's expressions were not good.Go to hell, I can't even take care of myself, how can I have the mood to take care of them?

On the night of New Year's Eve, I had an argument with my new dad.When I was watching "No Regret", he rushed in and turned off my computer, pointed at my nose and cursed, saying that there is no clean place on my body, that I will die of AIDS sooner or later because of being gay, Saying that even if I don't die, I would have humiliated my mother and the lintel of his family...

Do you know how angry I was when someone who had never been in my life—someone who had never tried to understand who I was—someone who was my mother's lover accused me of doing that?The strongest discrimination, the strongest insult I have ever received in this world, is not from other people, but from him-by far!Do you know how angry I am?

I saw a fruit knife on the table, and I didn't know where the courage came from, so I picked it up and stabbed my wrist.He went crazy seeing me bleeding profusely, and rushed forward to grab the knife desperately.But with all my strength, I pushed him against the wall.I stuffed my wrist into his mouth, and the blood flowed down his throat...

Isn't he so afraid of AIDS? Doesn't he dislike me for being dirty? Then we will die together, let's get dirty to the end together!

He struggled to push me away, and ran to the kitchen desperately, rinsing his mouth desperately. If possible, he probably wanted to vomit out all his internal organs?

I opened the door, dragged my bloody hands, and left.

My mother chased me out, pressing 120 while pressing on my wound.

I spent my New Years in the hospital!That night, father, mother, and young mother stayed in the hospital all night, but the new father was not seen.

From that day on, I didn't have a new father; from that day on, my mother gradually faded out of my life - my father would never let me go to that woman who couldn't even protect the child.

Dad said, how dangerous this world is, you have to see for yourself.Now, I see it!

Dad said, child, just live quietly and be happy.

Holding my father's hand, I cried!No one knows what I'm crying about, maybe they all know what I'm crying about?

Mom has been standing outside the ward, not even daring to come in, maybe she is blaming herself.

In fact, she didn't have to blame herself.I just suppressed it for too long and wanted to find an outlet to vent. The new dad just happened to trigger that valve.

The sixth day of the first lunar month came soon, and that day was Li Xiangyu's wedding day. My father and mother who kept saying they wanted to treat Li Xiangyu as their own sons failed to attend his wedding, and guarded me all day and all night.

I think, in the Catholic church in the east of the city at this moment, Li Xiangyu must be wearing a gorgeous suit, holding Liang Yan in a white gauze to the Holy Lord at the grand ceremony, and solemnly swearing an oath under the witness of the Holy Lord, to become husband and wife ?

He was probably wise enough to know that I didn't even have the courage to attend his wedding, so he refused to send me even an invitation.

Two watches, on the bed!

They are a loving couple.

"Dad, Xiangyu's wedding, wouldn't it be good if you don't go?"

Dad put a watch on my hand, just covering the scar.Dad put the other one on his hand and raised it to me: "How about it, does it look like a couple's watch?"

I smiled wryly: "This is a father-son model, not a couple model."

"Son, the company can help Dad after he is discharged from the hospital. Dad is also old now, and he can't do many things. It's good that you do it in "Fashion Magazine", but the family is more important. Come and help Dad!"

I nodded.Dad was just afraid that I would be sad, and wanted to put me by his side and be with me. I probably know this.

At 2009:43 a.m. on the sixth day of the first lunar month in [-], Li Huanyu called. He used his brother's mobile phone.It was the only call he'd given me since I sent the fuck away.

He said, "Brother Ahong, I am Huanyu, where are you?"

"I'm at home. I'm sorry I couldn't be your brother's best man. I can't be there to bless him in person, just like your mother couldn't bless me and him. I'm sorry for that. You can send my regards to him, just When I have blessed them."

"Brother, brother, brother..." Li Huanyu's voice was choked up, as if he had just cried.He said two sentences in a row, but there was no more to say.

"What's wrong with Xiangyu?" Hearing his words, a bad premonition welled up in his heart.This kid, there must be something wrong again, right?

"Xiangyu is fine," Li Xiangyu's father's voice came from over there, "The wedding is about to begin, why didn't you come over? Xiangyu and Liang Yan are still talking about you."

"I was sick and hospitalized, and it has been seven days. My parents wanted to come here, and even bought gifts. But they were worried about me, so I couldn't come here. I hope my godfather can understand. I will post the wedding gift to Xiangyu later! "I explained patiently, really afraid that he might have misunderstood Dad and Mom.