door to happiness

When he returned to Guangzhou, Xiangyu's mother was out of danger and returned to the ward.Xiangyu's father and his aunt were watching closely.Seeing us coming in, he quickly pointed to Xiangyu's mother who had just fallen asleep, and signaled us to move slowly.

His father asked us to go home to rest first, but Li Xiangyu never dared to leave again, but he couldn't hold back his father, so he had to leave the ward, but he kept standing in the corridor, refusing to leave.I had no choice but to ask Luo Qi for help, and asked her to find a place for Li Xiangyu to take a nap.After Li Xiangyu settled down, I dared to go back to the residence with my little mother.

Early the next morning, Li Xiangyu and I went to change his father and his aunt.

When I saw Li Xiangyu's mother, she was quite sober and looked good, and she was able to eat something.

When her mother saw Xiangyu and me, she quickly reached out her hand.Li Xiangyu hurriedly greeted her and held her hand.

"My child, my mother walked through the gate of hell yesterday. If I don't say these things, I'm afraid that one day I won't be able to get up and say it again." His mother stroked the back of his hand with such a sad tone. .I suddenly thought of the words "returning to the light", and I couldn't help being surprised.

Listening to her tone, it is estimated that she is going to talk about Li Xiangyu's lifelong event.Thinking of this, my nerves began to crumble again.Although this was the result without any suspense, I was still so nervous when I thought about the imminent verdict.

"Listen clearly, don't be in a hurry in the future. Mom has never read a book, and she doesn't know how to read the almanac. She doesn't know when to leave and when not to leave. If the time is bad and you can't leave, you must call me. Then I won't be leaving."

this?I'm a little surprised, is this an account of the aftermath?

I don't know what she refers to by "good times" and "bad times". Later, I asked Xiangyu specifically to find out that this is a superstition in the countryside.By "bad hour" the mother probably meant "day of the dead," "time of the dead," "day of great mourning," or something like that.In fact, Li Xiangyu is not too clear about it. He just heard people say: When a person dies in the air, the family will not be able to get rich for a period of sixty years (60 years), and will remain empty until the next sixty years before they can be transferred; If someone dies on the day of mourning, it means that someone will die in this family, which is the so-called "someone dies in a serious mourning, and the double coffin stands in front of the hall". When the funeral is held, a mirror will be used to look at the coffin and go out, indicating that the "double coffins" will come out together.From this point of view, his mother is really stupid, "The king of Hades ordered people to die on the third watch, how dare they keep them until the fifth watch?" Is this something that people can control?

Although she is an idiot, but she has a firm heart for the sake of the child, but Zhao Riyue, this is probably the mother.

"The paper money for the burial was already prepared by Tong Tong's father; the lime for filling the coffin was at Liu Lei's house - when his mother passed away, we thought we would use it in the future, so we prepared it in advance. It's a pity that it was still there. I didn’t prepare the foreskin and the shroud, so I’ll have to trouble you and your father. Before leaving, I wanted to grab some new money—I’ve been poor and suffered all my life in the yang world, but in the underworld, I don’t want to suffer any more.”

Hearing his mother explaining what happened behind him, Li Xiangyu lay down on the bed and began to cry.

Xiangyu's mother touched the back of his head and sighed: "I'm leaving. God doesn't want me to suffer anymore. What can you and Huanyu do? I don't know if he can take the college entrance examination next year. Can you pass the exam? Can you succeed in this university? You too, a lonely person with nowhere to go, so it’s not reassuring! You say I tell you to get married and you get married. After thinking about it for a long time, there is no way to say this. If there is a girl you like, you can get married. I'm afraid I can't control this matter. "

"Mom, don't do this! Didn't you say you want to watch us get married and have children? What are you? Dad is so sloppy that he can't even cook. What will Dad do when you leave?"

"This old man, he has listened to me nagging for half his life, now it's time to let his ears be quiet. Xiangyu, you have been self-reliant since you were a child, and you need to support this little brother to make him a talent. Son, come here—" , Li Xiangyu's mother beckoned to me, looking so weak.

I walked over and held her hand.This is the closest she and I have walked since coming to Guangzhou.

She patted the back of my hand lightly: "Good boy, Auntie can't take care of your affairs if she wants to. How to beat you, how to scold you, how to humiliate you, I have planned all these, but I haven't had time to do it yet." .Maybe my heart is too bad, so God is so eager to take me away. My child, a person must have a nest, a person with a warm kang, and a child to raise. This is called home. Your father found me at that time , said that he wanted me to fulfill you, so he had an extra son. I think, having more sons is not necessarily a bad thing. But after thinking about it, I have three sons, two of them are single, and I always feel uneasy. Be practical. You have your parents to take care of you now, and after we all leave, there will be only you two left, what are you going to do?"

"Don't worry, mom, I will take good care of Xiangyu and my younger brother. Don't worry about us, we can adopt if we don't have any children. According to our conditions, it is no problem to adopt one. My younger brother also said..." I was about to put I told my mother what I thought, but Xiangyu held my hand tightly, shook his head, and signaled me not to say any more, so I had no choice but to shut up.

"It's good to have an idea, it's good to have an idea! Again, I can't bless you all. If you can, let's start a family separately. It's not so easy for people to live in this world. Those who gossiping are enough. You have had a pot. I am a little tired and want to lie down for a while, so go back and take a nap. Seeing that your eyes are bloodshot, you must not have slept well. "

Li Xiangyu tucked the bed for his mother, pulled me out of the door, did not go far, gave me a punch, and shouted: "Damn you! Tell my mother these things at this time, you want to piss my mother off ?"

"I... I just...", I wanted to argue again, but when I saw his red and swollen eyes, I immediately calmed down.He's annoying enough, and I don't want to add to his annoyance.

In the afternoon, Li Xiangyu's mother had obvious symptoms again.She always felt weak and tired, always fell asleep and woke up, woke up and fell asleep again, and had no idea what to do.The throat is also very painful, and I can barely eat liquid food.The lower extremity swells more severely.

That night, she finally couldn't bear the pain and proposed the idea of ​​stopping chemotherapy.

Li Xiangyu's father, aunt, and Li Xiangyu himself were all silent.

The three found a doctor and asked about the best curative effect of the treatment, and the results they got were similar to Luo Qi's guess.With active treatment, it is basically no problem to prolong life for half a year. If the body's resistance is good, it is possible to survive for a year.If the drug is stopped at this point and the cancer cells are allowed to spread, it is estimated that it will take as long as one month, and at least half a month will kill.

The conclusion is grim and heart-wrenching.

The three of them returned to the ward, looking at Mother Li, not knowing what to say.

After a long time, Li Xiangyu's father finally spoke: "I just went to ask the doctor. If you insist on taking the medicine and you actively treat it, you should be able to survive until Huanyu and get the university admission letter. Do you want to wait until then?"

"No treatment?" Li Xiangyu's mother was so angry that her bones were a little weak.

"Maybe we won't be able to make it through the Spring Festival. Don't worry about money, you just think about yourself. We hope you will persevere. You love Huanyu so much. Waiting for him to go to college will be your concern."

Li Xiangyu's mother opened her eyes with difficulty, and looked at Xiangyu: "Then let's endure it... I... I can still endure it...".

That night, I received a "warning": For the sake of his mother, Li Xiangyu asked me not to appear in the fucking ward, and he would often take Liang Yan to visit the doctor.

I didn't refute or sulk, just a little sad, although understandable.Her mother was willing to suffer for six months in order to see her youngest son take the college entrance examination. It took a lot of courage.Similarly, if she could see the eldest son interacting with the girl normally, wouldn't she be more relieved?

In short, their intentions were good, but the results seemed to be bad, which I did not know until later.Every time I think about this decision that night, I regret it.

I don't go to the hospital anymore, and I occasionally hear about Xiangyu's mother's condition from other people's mouths.After leaving the ward, I seemed to be in a more cheerful mood and not so depressed anymore.Coupled with the fact that Lu Zimei and Cheng Hui are usually by my side, gradually, I don't seem to think about Li Xiangyu anymore.Such a confusion, I seem to be slowly coming out.

Time passed so uneventfully.Every night, when I go home, Xiangyu always stays at the hospital, and when I go to work or school, he quietly returns to catch up on sleep.We just turned our lives upside down and didn't see each other for a whole week.

I seem to have begun to forget his face, it seems that I have to look through my photo album to remember his face.Occasionally I get sulky with myself, and then I paint a portrait or two.Occasionally, I have the urge to go to a gay bar once or twice, and I may be lonely.

On Sunday, when Luo Qi and I returned home after drinking morning tea, Li Xiangyu came home.This is the first time I've seen him this week.He didn't take off his clothes or shoes, just lying on the bed like a dead body.

Gently took off his shoes for him, and when I was about to hug him into bed to sleep, he wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed my face.He closed his eyes slightly, like a child who never gets enough sleep, but instinctively kissed me with his mouth, from the cheek down.His nimble tongue stuck into my mouth, swinging freely...

Suddenly, he stopped moving and opened his eyes: "Baby, I really miss you! Even though we live in the same bedroom, why is it so difficult to see you once?"

I burst into tears: "This is exactly what I want to ask you: Why is it so difficult to see you once, even though we live in the same bedroom?"