door to happiness

"It's overflowing! It's overflowing!"

The scalding coffee flowed over my fingertips, and the loud shouts stimulated my eardrums. Only then did I realize that the coffee had overflowed.

"What are you thinking about, you are absent-minded! How long can you stay here in this state!" Lu Zimei looked at me who was absent-minded, gave me a hard look, and left with a dissatisfied expression.

My heart has been hollowed out, and I can't fill it up with anything.My words to threaten Cheng Hui have now become landmines that detonate my whole world—and they are still irregular.If that's really a mine, I hope it's a dumb mine.But I clearly heard the "tick tick" sound of the timer.

"Xiangyu, actually that night..." I wanted to send him a text message, but I didn't know how to write it, so I had to delete it word by word.The fingertips froze on the keyboard, as if they were extremely heavy.

I dialed his cell phone number, but never had the courage to confess to him—I didn't know what the outcome would be—I didn't have the courage to accept the worst outcome.

This afternoon, I don't know how to spend it, I was absent-minded and made mistakes again and again.When he returned to the door of Li Xiangyu's house, he was too scared to enter.hell!I turned around to leave, but I heard the door squeak open, followed by Li Xiangyu's breezy face.

"When I heard footsteps, I guessed it was you! Why are you hesitating, come in quickly! I'll warm up some food for you!" There was no sound of thunder, no wind and clouds, only warm spring breeze.

It's even more chilling to be angry or not!This is like a prisoner who has fallen into the hands of the enemy. He knows that he must die, but the enemy refuses to pronounce the sentence—that kind of anxiety is like a raging fire, roasting my fragile heart.

A table full of dishes was placed on the table, including braised fish nuggets, stir-fried beans with eggplant, diced palace chicken, cola chicken wings, cold cucumber, and my favorite pork stewed vermicelli.Li Xiangyu finished the meal, poured us another cup of Coke, and smiled: "Come on, let's have a toast to celebrate our moving into a new home! These days, you have been back and forth helping me move things, tossing and tossing, hard work! I toast you!"

After drinking this cup, I listened quietly.Moving to celebrate, this is a routine, so it's time to settle the accounts!Zhang Hong, no matter what Li Xiangyu says, you have to hold back, but don't talk back!I secretly warned myself.

Li Xiangyu didn't say anything else, just held the food for me with a smile and persuaded me, as if I was a distinguished and shy guest.His smile is so evil, just like the wolf grandmother who deceived Little Red Riding Hood.

"Xiangyu, do you have anything to ask?" I asked cautiously.I was extremely panicked but tried to calm down, trying to detonate the mine.

"I don't have anything to ask. Oh, yes, I really want to ask you something!" He opened his eyes wide, as if sparks were about to pop out.

Yes!Grandma Wolf is finally about to tear off that hypocritical mask and reveal her true nature.His tenderness is all pretended, it's faked!How can anyone be indifferent when he hears that his lover has an ulterior secret?He is finally going to press, Zhang Hong, you just confess everything, then kneel on the ground, hugging his leg and begging him to forgive.I closed my eyes, thinking.

"How is the website of the Literature Club going? It's been a while since I gave you the draft, so you haven't been slacking off, have you?"

The originally tense nerves softened instantly after hearing these words - his eyes were so deep, as deep as a bottomless abyss.

"nothing else?"

"Nothing else! You are so weird today! Eat more! There is no refrigerator, so you can't put leftovers!"

"Then you still do so much!"

"Happy! This will be your and my home from now on! We have a home, don't we?"

He was intoxicated, as happy as a little woman.However, after inadvertently listening to the dialogue between me and Cheng Hui, he can still be so calm, which makes me a little unbearable.He has always been neither hot nor cold, nor angry, is this attitude indifferent, or is he really confident?

At night, I didn't go back, just rested here.He hugged me and fell into a deep sleep, his chest heaving and falling with the sound of even breathing.In his sleep, he turned sideways restlessly, half-crossed one leg, and put it around my waist.With a lift of that hand, the palm was already attached to my back - the whole person was embraced by him.I didn't dare to move, for fear of waking him who was sleeping soundly.

I didn't feel sleepy at all, and it was like a movie was playing in my mind, and the scenes of Starbucks and "House of Blue" came before my eyes.These are the two scenes that I would like to look back on the most in my life, and they are also the two things I did most rashly.

"Xiangyu, why don't you ask? You know, I really hope you ask me! If you don't ask, how can I say it and ask for your forgiveness if you don't ask?" Close to his face, looking at the thick and narrow eyelashes, I can't help thinking...

"You know, that man, I hated him! He said he loved me, but I didn't appreciate it at all. The death of Liu Lei's mother touched me a lot. As a comrade, I was very confused. That night, I I suddenly feel that life, old age, sickness and death are so close to us. When the twilight years of mulberry and elm, when dying, who will be in front of the sick bed? To this day, I still have no answer. I was so depressed that night, and my whole life Going to Gay for the first time. You know, that is a big mouth, swallowing all my innocence and fantasy..."

I looked at him who was sleeping soundly, and smiled bitterly.Facing him who is sober, I don't have the courage to say this.No, I don't want to tell him, I just want to tell myself, so that my heart can calm down.

"That night, I was raped by him!" I closed my eyes tightly, not daring to recall the scene of that day.A trace of coldness came from the corner of my eyes, and I knew it was tears, "My first time was calculated by him like this, I don't even know what it's like--I don't want to know! Later, I called a group of hooligans to beat him ..."

Suddenly, the strength in his hand became stronger and stronger, so that I could hardly breathe.

It's over, he didn't fall asleep?I subconsciously trembled, opened my eyes and looked around, only to see that his eyes were still closed, but tears were streaming down his face.

He was not asleep!

He put his arms around my head, closed his eyes, and kissed me frantically, from the forehead down...

I closed my eyes tightly and saw two lions galloping across the vast grassland.The sky is so blue, the grass is so green, and the air is so fresh.The two lions smiled at each other under the blue sky, and ran towards the endless forest in the distance.The prairie is beautiful, but the prairie has an endless field of vision - it is a land of civilization, not their world.

They ran, broke free from the shackles of the world, escaped from the beautiful scenery in the eyes of the world, and plunged into the hazel jungle.The tall and low trees and the well-proportioned shrubs concealed their figures.They shuttled through the woods, chasing and biting each other.

The glory is still the same, but they want to compete to be the overlord of the forest.The passionate fights were intertwined repeatedly, and it seemed that they would not give up until there was no bloodshed on the battlefield!The ferocious beasts fight for the king, try their best, but cherish each other.From violence to docility, from resistance to submission, all of them show the spirit of king.This is the king of the jungle!

The wind is rustling in the jungle, and the shadows of the bushes are heavy!Suddenly, a shooting star flashed over the foggy jungle, leaving with good wishes, heralding a happy future!

He lied on top of me weakly, showing a hooligan look: "Now you know what it's like? How is it? It's not bad, right?"

What is it like, I already know!It was a battle between two lions competing in the Central Plains, a battle for kings!That feeling, even though you are defeated!It was a battle that touched every nerve. In this life, I have never encountered anything more exciting than this!It is an indescribable feeling to do love with someone you love.

It's just that I never thought that the first time between me and him would be like this!I was completely turned over by him - what a domineering guy I was, and he was the one looking delicate - as long as he didn't take off his shirt, of course.

He packed up the battlefield, hugged me tightly, and kissed my forehead: "Thank you for being honest with me! I have no right to care about your past, and I will definitely accompany you well in your future."

"You do not care?"

"Silly boy, do you still want to be a chaste man? What era is this?"

I snuggled into his arms, feeling his still frantic and powerful heartbeat: "Why don't you ask? If I don't say it all the time, will you keep not asking?"

He kissed my hair: "Yes, didn't we agree that we should trust each other! If you don't talk, I won't ask. If we can't never ask each other, then we can only To never forget each other? You love me so much, I have enough confidence to believe in you!"

Before this, I never felt that sex was so important in my emotional life.However, since then, I have discovered that Li Xiangyu actually cared for me more, and began to know how to ask for my health.He will tell me to eat on time - although I eat with him almost every day; he will tell me to wear an extra dress every time the wind blows; Let's go, watch the traffic lights...

After that, I seemed like a child to him—and yet, I enjoyed it so much!

One day, my address in his mouth suddenly became "wife", and then "baby"-of course, that was only when there was no one else.

At this time, I felt a little love feeling.A love affair changed all that - so many gay men I met later, whenever they told me about love, it seemed that it started with a love affair - the pattern I hate the most, people flock to.Is it really because of the fragile feelings of comrades, the only way to find a sense of belonging?

Anyway, a blessing in disguise!I suddenly started to think about the future——I want to bring this man to my parents and tell them: This is my lover!