Summertime

Su Xi will always remember what Xiaomi said to her that night.

On that night that was no different from usual, Mi Mi came back late from the entertainment, reeking of alcohol.Every time there is a meal, Tongtong will always hold her hand and patiently wait for her father to come home at the playground in the community, but this time, her father came back too late, and Tongtong could not wait for her father's embrace Then fell asleep in her mother's arms, Su Xi had no choice but to take Tongtong home, gently put Tongtong on the small bed, and let her sleep peacefully.

Of course Su Xi knew that Xiaomi couldn't get away because of the dinner, but she didn't know why Xiaomi opened the door drunkenly at twelve o'clock that night. The strong smell of alcohol mixed with the turbidity of the fermented dishes in the stomach instantly filled the whole room. Xi couldn't help frowning, and supported the staggering millet, letting him lean on the sofa. She looked at her husband in front of her with a flushed face, thinking about his already fat belly, shaking his head and lying half-lying on the sofa tiredly. Talking nonsense, Su Xi didn't know what he was mumbling about, but she felt angry for no reason.She didn't like the way Xiaomi came back from entertainment, especially when Xiaomi was drunk and almost unconscious. A family resentful woman who wanders in the trivial matters of her husband and raising children, but this is not the life she wants. Even when Su Xi was young, she never thought that one day she would get married or have a child of her own.But the years are ruthless, and in a blink of an eye, she is no longer the same as she was back then, with the world, the pressure, and the wasted life. She is still married, married to her blue-faced confidant who was her brother and sister back then.

Su Xi didn't know if she loved Mi in front of her, but she knew that Mi loved her much more than herself, and that was enough.Many times, Su Xi would always tell herself that it was a coincidence of time, place, or fate that allowed them to meet, communicate, and help each other when they were married, to comfort and warm each other in this lonely and cold city. , the next thing will come naturally.Is life often just a long-planned coincidence? Even if the person who once devoted his heart to it regardless of everything is not the man who is now with you for the rest of his life, this does not prevent the continuation of life. The reality gap is always so staggering, but life is still life.

However, the madness and passion of youth, as well as those hidden and explicit feelings gradually faded out of Su Xi's life, making her feel that her life suddenly became ordinary, but she didn't like this powerlessness and paleness. strong.The happiest and most glorious youthful years are gone, but this does not prevent Su Xi from recalling the past, the people she met, the wine she drank, the cigarettes she smoked, the places she went to, and her past feelings, those unforgettable memories. , and those that are vague.

Su Xi likes the current life. In fact, this kind of life is what many people dream of, but she always feels that something is missing, just like many early mornings in the dead of night, the face of the old man will always sneak into Su Xi's dreams In the middle of the dream, she fell into it deeply and refused to wake up from the dream.When the dream went bad, she woke up in fright, and then tossed and turned sleeplessly.

Su Xi thought that such a trivial, indifferent, and sometimes boring life would continue without any disturbance until late at night that day.

After taking a shower, Zhou Mi staggered on the bed, closed her eyes and breathed heavily, the faint smell of alcohol could still be smelled in the air, Su Xi felt some inexplicable repulsion in her heart, she who was lying flat before Turning over and lying on her side, there was still silence behind her, except for the ups and downs of the heavy breath, Su Xi thought that Mi Mi had fallen asleep, so she straightened half of her body and turned off the bedside lamp.

"Xi, do you know..."

There was a sudden sound behind him in the darkness, and it seemed a little excited.

"What's wrong?" Su Xi didn't turn around.

"Today, I met Xizao."

Zhou Xiaomi didn't know why the people around him suddenly fell silent, it was obviously such a pleasant surprise.

"How is she doing?"

Su Xi was silent for a long time and finally turned around, but she asked very calmly.

"That's right, now she has opened a studio near Shikumen with a friend she met in Japan. She is a designer."

"Is she married?"

"Still single."

Zhou Mi's answer made Su Xi's frantic heart continue to speed up, and she was even afraid that the violent beating sound of her chest would be heard by the people around her. She dared not speak, she was afraid that once she opened her mouth, she would tremble due to excitement His voice would betray her thoughts at this moment.

"Isn't this Saturday Tongtong's birthday? I want Xizao to come too?" Zhou Mi turned around and asked tentatively.

"Ah."

Su Xi agreed immediately without even thinking about it. After she realized it, she realized that she didn't need to think about that answer at all, and she couldn't wait. Su Xi was obviously taken aback by her own reaction.

"Okay, I'll tell her tomorrow."

Fortunately, Mi didn't notice her abnormality, and it was also fortunate that Su Xi turned off the lights in advance. In the darkness, Mi could not see her already flushed cheeks.

It was close to one o'clock in the morning, and Xiaomi got up and went to the living room. Su Xi didn't know what he was going to do, but now she had no intention of asking. After those words, Xizao's appearance became very clear again, like a shadow from a vague dream become a palpable reality.Su Xi began to fall into the memories of the past again, those past, those beautiful and frustrated, all turned into a river of flowers and spring water, complicated and chaotic, and the sky was spinning, once again bringing Su Xi from the lush years into a hazy dream.

The birthday party arrived as scheduled, but Su Xi felt that she had been waiting for half a century. That night, she put on the most exquisite makeup, tied up the skirt chain of the beautiful dress she just bought from a department store, and put on her She hadn't worn the high heels for a long time, and she waited for that person's appearance with full expectation, as if it was a touch of colorful light that would light up her ordinary life.

Finally that person appeared, standing at the gate of the iron fence in the garden, with his head down, embarrassed and hesitant, like a child who had run away from home and had nowhere to go, but dared not go home.The person in front of him had short, slender hair that reached his ears, and now his thin shoulders were no longer covered. His face was still as pale as before. The deep almond eyes under his slender and thick eyelashes always shone with a deserted blur. The bridge of his nose was still slumped. Tall, half-pursed lips are red and small, and the thin loose T-shirt and wide-leg pants are set on her thin body, revealing the familiar sharpness and toughness. She is still the same as before, but has become more Mature and more beautiful.At that moment, Su Xi's uneasy heart instantly turned into joy, she even stretched out her hand to hold those wet hands tightly, and pulled that person into the room forcefully.

She still came after all, and the little gray calculation in Su Xi's heart finally came true.

Su Xi invited Xizao to come here, she wanted to see Xizao, but at the banquet, she just put Xizao aside, seldom moved, let alone talked.Su Xi is always wandering among relatives and friends, chatting, toasting, laughing, rushing around, seemingly working hard for the dignity of the banquet, doing her best as a landlord.But in fact, there is so much busyness, Su Xi is just looking for trouble when she sees something.Even if she knew that Xizao didn't know anyone here except her and Mi, even if she knew that Mi was too busy dealing with the company's top management to take care of Xizao, even if she knew that doing so would only embarrass Xizao, she didn't know what to do. She didn't know what to do, but she still carried on with her scheming with a smile on her face.

Back then, Xizao treated her like this, with a cold smile, seldom talking, seldom touching, no longer moving around, on the surface kind and friendly, but in fact the acquaintance and intimacy have disappeared, everything is so awkward, deliberate, not Naturally, it makes people fearful, even inexplicable, not knowing why.Even Su Xi still doesn't know why Xi Zao seems to be a different person, and gradually withdraws from her life. I don't know when, the raised corners of her mouth will no longer be as stupid and ignorant as before. Ignorant, all actions and smiles seem so polite, strange, and alienated.It wasn't until one day that everyone became like passers-by. Only then did Su Xi know that she had lost all contact with Xizao, such as Xizao's WeChat, because when she tried to contact the missing person, Su Xi didn't know. She realized that she was no longer Xizao's friend, and for example Xizao's phone number, when she mustered up the courage to dial the eleven-digit number that had been abandoned in the corner of the address book for nearly half a year, she realized that the number had been lost. It's an empty number, and of course she didn't know that Xi Zao had wiped away all traces of Su Xi six months ago, completely.It wasn't even until Xizao went abroad for a year that she got the slightest news about Xizao from her former college roommate.

"She's in Japan, like Kyoto. No one can contact her, and she hasn't contacted anyone. I don't know how she is doing now."

"When did she leave?"

"Gone before graduation."

"It's been a year, and she didn't leave any news when she left."

"Yeah, it disappeared as soon as it left, as if there was no such person at all."

The conversation with her roommate at Xizao University left Su Xi in a trance for almost a month. She went from melancholy, nostalgic, to annoyed, angry, and back to sentimental, lost, and in a trance.Su Xi managed to break free from such a grotesque circle. Of course, she still couldn't let go of it, because she had never understood why Xizao was so unfeeling, not only to her, but also to everyone in the past. So what, the former person is gone, she can no longer be so sad and sad, this is not her temperament, so she chooses to nostalgia, miss the good times more, to make up for the shortcomings, until today again meet that person.