Summertime

At one o'clock in the morning, the roads that were congested during the day became empty, and all the vehicles in the city seemed to have disappeared collectively, so that all the streets finally got a chance to breathe. They squinted their eyes and took a nap. The tall and thin street lamps are still working hard.Occasionally, a large container truck that comes, huge like a crawling monster, makes a deep roar in the silent night. It passes smoothly on the road illuminated by street lights, leaving behind rectangular black shadows, covering the The greenery on the side of the road, the light of the road, the passing cars, and in the next second follow the movement of the truck, panning into the distance.

The black-faced Audi sedan passed through the shadow of the huge truck ahead and disappeared at the right end of the intersection ahead.

The car was filled with the turbidity of foreign wine, the strong smell of cigarettes and the old fabric smell of the sofa, all brought out from the basement bar, which forced the light lemon scent of the air freshener floating in the car to be covered.Xizao really couldn't stand the dirty air around her, so she turned off the air conditioner in the car and opened the windows, so that the cool night breeze could flow into the car.

"hot……"

An inaudible murmur came from the co-pilot's position.

"almost home."

Xizao looked at Su Xi who was curled up on the seat, sighed, and stretched out his hand to stroke the wind-blown hair on Su Xi's cheeks, but just as Xizao was about to let go, the hand that was about to leave came again. Suddenly he was held by another boiling hand.

"Stay with me tonight, okay?"

Su Xi leaned her head against the car window, as if she murmured something in a low voice, the evening wind brushed the hair on her forehead messy, Xi Zao couldn't see what Su Xi's expression was at this time, but Xi Zao could still Feeling an indescribable depression and loneliness.

Xizao didn't answer, and the hand holding her didn't let go either.

The small western-style building belonging to Zhou Shu and Su Xi was empty, without the bustle and bustle of Xizao's first visit here, it looked very deserted and gloomy.Xizao helped the drunken Su Xi, and carefully went up to the second floor, looking for the master bedroom there.

I don't know how much wine Su Xi drank tonight, and the wind blowing in the car for a while made her even more drunk. Now Su Xi is almost unconscious, and she doesn't work hard at all. He didn't help her to go to the toilet, but simply washed her face and hands with warm water, and put her in clean pajamas lightly, but Su Xi didn't cooperate at all, talking nonsense, punching and kicking Xizao, Su Xi even knocked over the basin on the sink, and the splashing water almost soaked Zizao's whole body.After finally packing everything up, it was already almost three o'clock in the morning. Xi Zao went downstairs tiredly, found honey and warm water from the kitchen, and wanted to soothe the sleepy Su Xi who was lying on the bed.

"Come on, drink it, you won't feel uncomfortable when you wake up."

Xi Zao helped Su Xi who was still in a daze to get up, and brought the slightly warm glass to Su Xi's mouth.

"Drink slowly, don't rush."

Fortunately, Su Xi cooperated, and the transparent yellow liquid in the cup gradually decreased with the sound of swallowing impatiently until it disappeared. Xizao smiled and picked up a tissue to gently wipe off the remaining water stains at the corners of Su Xi's mouth. .

"Don't go tonight..."

Su Xi didn't open her eyes, and the blush from the alcohol on her face still hasn't subsided. Xizao thought she was talking nonsense, and didn't answer.

"Don't go..."

This time Su Xi finally opened her eyes, dim and blurred, she repeated the previous request, but this time Xizao couldn't help being startled, she couldn't believe her ears, because she heard the words contained in that sentence With a pleading tone, even though the sentence was only two words.

"it is good."

It was close to four o'clock in the morning, Su Xi seemed to have fallen into a deep sleep, the cool night wind was majestic, easily passed through the gap in the curtains, and sneaked into the dim room, except for the sound of the curtains being blown by the wind from time to time, the quiet bedroom The only thing I could hear was the heavy breathing on the bed.Xizao rubbed her sleepy eyes, stood up from the wooden floor beside the bed, bent down to cover Su Xi with a thin blanket, turned off the light and the door lightly, and went downstairs.

After four o'clock in the morning, the sky has just appeared a touch of white belly, which is not very obvious, Xizao raised his sore neck.Taking a deep breath of the fresh morning air, the breeze brought a damp mist to the surroundings, and sprinkled moist moisture on the flying hair of Zizao.

It's going to rain.

Xizao turned her head and looked at the second floor of the small western-style building in the garden behind her. She couldn't see anything except the closed curtains fluttering around the open window.Xizao didn't stare any longer, she turned her head, opened the door of the private car parked by the side of the road, and left in a hurry.

On the second floor of the small western-style building, in the open window, the curtains that were originally closed seemed to be pulled lightly, and the gap between the curtains was enlarged a lot. A woman's figure appeared on the window sill, appearing and disappearing, unfortunately The woman in the car didn't see it.

Su Xi stood by the window, watching the car downstairs started its engine, turned around, moved forward slowly, and then disappeared around the corner of the garden.She seemed to lower her head with a wry smile, and the smooth curtain she held tightly in her hand seemed to have lost all strength and fell loosely to the ground.The bedroom became gloomy again. Su Xi took a deep breath and turned around. While untying the tie of her nightgown, she walked towards the bathroom. The silk fabric flowed smoothly along her body like flowing water. Her skin slid to the ground, and a few pieces of three-point clothing on her uneven body were taken off, which was covered with the smell of bars. Su Xi threw it on the ground in disgust, and walked into the bathroom with her bare feet and slightly drunken steps. .

The mirror surface on the sink has been covered by mist, and the transparent beads could not resist the pull of gravity, and quickly slid and dripped, leaving clear water marks on the lower mirror. From the slender marks, I can vaguely see a woman lying in the bathtub, leaning against a corner of the bathtub, smoking a cigarette with her head raised. The not-so-large space is filled with mist, and the water mist is filled with a faint scent of mint tobacco.

Su Xi had been soaking in the bathtub for more than two hours. The steaming bath water was slowly cooling down with the passage of time. She drained it all again, turned on the water valve again, filled the empty bathtub with hot water, and then she She held up the bottle containing the essential oil, tilted her wet head, and watched a stream of thin lavender liquid poured into the water from a high place, sinking, dispersing, and merging. But there was no expression on her face.After several times, the bottle of essential oil has been emptied. She threw the glass bottle on the ground in boredom, and tried to light a cigarette again with her wet hands, but the cigarette in the cigarette case was also used at some point. When it was over, Su Xi was so frustrated that she crumpled the cigarette pack into a ball and threw it viciously at the opposite mirror.

It seemed that one or two drops of water had fallen into the water, making a light sound. Su Xi subconsciously raised her lowered head and wiped off the wetness on her face. Su Xi thought that those drops were the result of water vapor condensing into liquid droplets. She didn't think she was crying, because she had never cried for anyone since she was a child, but what was the wetness in her eyes?

The bar that is similar to Planet, since she found it by accident, she has frequented it, drinking, playing billiards, she likes the atmosphere there, it is lively and noisy, she can drink with strangers and flirt, once she leaves there, no one will be there I don’t know anyone, but these are not the most important. There are so many bars in Shanghai, but Su Xi prefers this third-rate place in a mixed location. This is not only because it is similar to the former Planet, but more importantly, it gives Su Xi had an illusion, as if she had returned to the previous days, those most beautiful times, but it was a pity that only one person was missing.

Su Xi thought that as long as that person was willing to come there with her, then the regrets in the past could be erased in one stroke, and the regrets would no longer be regrets.

But when she brought that person to a familiar place, she found that everything was different from what she had imagined. Su Xi didn't know that even though she reproduced the scene and brought the person back then, her heart had changed. , She wants to go back to the past, but no one can go back to the past.Originally thought that Xizao would be as surprised, happy and accepted as she imagined, and then had a drink with her, but in the end Xizao was still the Xizao that belonged only to her before.But the gap between reality and ideal is so big, Xi Zao did come, but she was not moved by the unexpected surprise as Su Xi thought, and then approached her to accept her again, Xi Zao was still cold, she All the facial expressions and movements revealed an obvious alienation and rejection, even a glass of wine Xizao refused to accompany her, as if Xizao had already separated all ties with the past, including her relationship with Xizao. Su Xi was very disappointed with the ulterior intimacy before, because her [-]% certain wish that it would come true has come to nothing.

Su Xi never got drunk in bars, but that night she thought she was crazy.

She drank a lot of wine, other people's wine, her own wine, she thought that Zizao would rush over and block the wine for her as before, and stopped her and told her not to drink any more, but Xizao did nothing, she and A group of men and women were playing colorful games, outrageous and disgusting, she was willing to do them all, she thought that Xizao would come and pull her away, and yelled at her angrily, but Xizao didn't do anything, even she was willing to let Those men with malicious intentions approached her body and took advantage of her. She thought that Xizao would eventually stop her excessive actions, but Xizao still didn't do anything.

But Su Xi's gamble still had some success, and Xi Zao finally dragged her home that night.

Su Xi felt that everything came too late, but she still felt a little ecstatic. Could it be that Xizao's indifference all night was just pretending, and she still cared about herself as much as before?

It's just that Su Xi was still disappointed, she wanted Xi Zao to stay, she was sure that Xi Zao would agree to her request again, but Xi Zao refused with silence, the first time, Xi Zao was silent, Su Xi was disappointed again, the second time The second time, Xizao was still silent, Su Xi panicked, and the third time, Su Xi's trembling voice tried humbly to keep her for the last time, and finally she expected a reply.

So what if Xizao agreed, she still left without saying a word, just as ruthless as before.

There is no going back to the past.

Su Xi said mockingly to herself, she wiped off the mist on the mirror indiscriminately, and in the hazy mirror, she saw her distorted and blurred face.

Nothing is the same anymore.

At [-]:[-] in the morning, the sharp sound of the doorbell downstairs woke up the woman curled up on the bed. The alcohol effect and the damp cold hair that had not been dried after taking a bath made her temples ache. She had only slept in the bedroom for less than three hours. She didn't like being disturbed after a night of hangover. Coupled with the pattering rain outside the window and the humid air around, the woman was even more reluctant to get up, but the annoying door downstairs The bell rang tirelessly, as if knowing that this was not an empty house, the woman on the bed tossed and turned, unable to sleep again, she sighed, got up and got out of bed, put on the nightgown left on the floor, Turn around and go downstairs.

The clear sky in the early morning was covered by thick dark clouds at some point, and the damp raindrops scattered from the gray sky listlessly, intermittent and sparse. The rainy weather of this day was humid, cold, and hazy, exactly the same as that day in the past .

The author has something to say: Su Xi thought that Xizao had changed, but some things changed eight years ago. She didn't even know the reason for the change. Anyway, she didn't cause everything. She only hated the people in the past. Why can't they Follow your heart, but whose heart is this heart?