[Gintama] Long hair and waist

It's been a long nightmare.

Both Chiharu and Chika Asuka must think so.

The most beautiful past will become the most stinging present, just like a bright sunny day is suddenly blocked by dark clouds, and the blue sky suddenly becomes dark.They can only choose to miss the boy who occupied an important part of their lives.

"If...if we didn't know each other from the beginning...if I hadn't come to the earth...if I didn't exist...so many tragedies wouldn't have happened..." Until now, Qianchun still feels that everything The source of evil is her, if she does not exist, there will be much less sorrow in this world.She finally understood why so many people always wanted to kill her when she was young. It turned out that when she grew up, she would really become a heinous existence.

"Chiharu, please apologize."

Qianxia Asuka wiped her tears with her sleeves, pretending to be calm and said.Things are going in this direction, no matter how optimistic and strong she is, she can't smile anymore for the time being.The red and swollen eyes from crying made her look very embarrassed, but her ordinary face was shining with an indescribable brilliance.

"Apologize once again, well and solemnly."

She repeated it again.

Compared with the slight tremor of the first time, the voice was more determined.

Although puzzled, Qianchun still obeyed obediently.She stood up straight, folded her hands in front of her body, and bowed to Chinatsu Asuka, "I'm really, really, really sorry, Asuka! Please..."

Without the courage and feeling that she is not qualified to say "Please forgive me", Chiharu bit her lip, did not speak, and kept bowing all the time.

Qianxia Asuka helped Qianharu up.

"I forgive you."

Qianchun's eyes widened in surprise, unable to react.

"Why are you so surprised? I'm not joking, and you heard me right. Yes, I said I forgive you. However, there are conditions." She stretched out three fingers, "There are three. If you can guarantee If you fulfill these three conditions, I will forgive you. Don't rush to agree, just listen to what the conditions are."

Chiharu nodded.

"First, you and Yuki's family will never have any grudges from now on, so don't call me Asuka anymore, just call me 'Qianxia' like before."

Looking at her face pretending to be calm, Qianchun's heart sank rapidly.But that's right, a normal person's reaction to something like this would be to distance herself from her.She lowered her eyes and whispered, "...OK."

"Second, remember what happened to me. Don't pretend that you don't remember it, and don't run away from it. Give me... learn to cherish every encounter, and don't let it go with those good things just because it didn't end well. I also completely deny the part. No matter how painful it is, for those people who have appeared in your life, you can’t deliberately forget them. This is too much and too willful.”

Ignoring Qianchun's astonished expression again, Qianxia Asuka took a deep breath and continued: "Third, cherish the lives of others, and at the same time, cherish your own life. Even if many people hate you and hate you, you must I know, there must be people who love you in this world. Don’t let down such precious love, at least for them, protect yourself well.”

"People who love Qianchun...will there really be? Even if there are, they will end up being hurt by Qianchun." Thinking of the ending of the loved ones around her, she became timid again.She vaguely knew what a terrifying existence she was when she entered the killing state. At that time, she did not recognize her relatives, but was just a blood-thirsty murderer. feel better.

This is true for ordinary people, let alone a loved one.

"Think about the people who have met you, can't you really find someone who loves you? Also think about the things you have experienced with them, even once, have they really never smiled? ?Also, have you really never gained anything? Everyone who has stayed in your life must have a reason for their stay. Whether it is good or bad, you can’t do it like this Deny their value."

……

"You trash, are you still alive?"

"You...don't come here!"

These two people are the parents who hate her to the extreme, and they are also the parents who gave her life, allowing her to be born in this world, and the parents who met Nan Xia, Asuka, Xiao Zi and Kamui Kagura.

"Qianchun should also learn to take a good look at other people around her, don't always focus on me."

The good brother Yushu Nanxia with a gentle smile made her first understand what liking is.He was different from everyone she met when she was a child, he cared for her wholeheartedly, loved her, and gave her the warmth of a family.Although there is no blood relationship, the Xishu family treats her better than their relatives. This kind of family affection without barriers is something she couldn't feel before.

"Hmph, stupid girl, you have to bravely learn what love is, along with me!"

This is Xiao Zi, who has been treated badly by her from the very beginning, but has always been regarded as a close friend in her boudoir, and who is loved decisively and passionately by her lover.Although Xiaozi's attitude towards Qianchun has always been subtle, she is also the first person who taught her what "love" is most directly in the past 18 years.

At the same time, it is also the first person Qianchun has met in the past 18 years who is desperate for the one he loves.

If she hadn't met Xiao Zi, she wouldn't be so eager to become mature.Xiaozi's death was a major psychological shock to her. Whether it was her feelings for Shenwei or many things in her life, it was impossible for her to blindly choose to escape as childishly as she did.Many things, those who should understand will eventually understand; many people will grow up when they should grow up.She can't be a child forever.

"Give me... learn to cherish every encounter."

Then, there is Chika Asuka, who seems ordinary, but stronger than anyone else in some aspects.This girl who used to be the one she hated the most turned out to be her biggest benefactor in the end.After she did that kind of thing, he could still help her, encourage her, and tell her to learn to cherish every encounter.

There are other people who have also appeared in her 18 years of life.The time they stayed was either short or long, and perhaps there were many people she had ignored and forgotten.In the midst of resentment and disgust, there is actually a little bit of sympathy or compassion occasionally mixed in.But she always curled up in her own world so willfully, taking it for granted that everyone would only hate her, so even those well-intentioned voices were rejected.

Just like when she was a mercenary, those uncles in the mercenary group seemed to be fierce and ignored her, but they were indeed caring for her in their own way.

Like her, they are all homeless people, without families and relatives, who can do nothing but fight.They felt sorry for her that she had to wander around with them at such a young age, and because of her withdrawn and indifferent attitude they did not approach her, so they could only mention her implicitly in an alienated and indifferent tone.She was too young then to think that they hated her as much as everyone else and would tell her things just because they were in her way.Thinking about it now, those rude men also have a delicate heart.

It was she who failed their kindness.

If... If she had a better attitude at that time, she would smile at the group of uncles and talk to them more, that would be great.In the end, she didn't even say good-bye and just left without going back. I don't know if they would worry about her?

"If, if everything can be done again, Qianchun will never be so self-willed again! Really not! Qianchun promises! I am really sorry for making everyone sad... woo..." She rubbed orbital.No matter how many years have passed, she will never forget these few days made up of tears.She thought, this was probably the day when she shed the most tears in her life.

Qianxia Asuka quietly watched Qianchun cry, this time she did nothing.She knew that she could not help Qianchun now, and this child really understood.And it was time for her to choose to let go.

"Qianchun knows, it's impossible to do it all over again, and it's useless to cry like this now...but, but I still regret it...so regretful, why did I do these things before..." The tears gradually stopped flowing , Maybe it's because I cried too much these days, or maybe it's because my heart hurts so much that I can't even cry.

The warmth that was finally remembered and noticed with great difficulty, all became crumbs and scattered in the air.

"It hurts. After knowing the news of Nanxia's death... I feel the same as you now. If I had known that Nanxia's family died at your hands two years ago, maybe I wouldn't have said anything. Forgive me. It’s just that because I know how sad it is to be irretrievable and how painful it is to lose, I will cherish the meeting with new friends better, and will chase after them harder, so as not to experience irreparable pain in the future Bar."

The girl Chika Asuka laughed again.

Death, a word that only has two colors of gray and white, is still a bit heavy for the youth with thick ink.She was 17 years old at the time, just at the age when she thought she had grown up, but she was actually a child.A little rebellious, still very secondary, and daydreaming in the bloody fairy tales of handsome men and beautiful women.

He said that he would help many people with Nan Xia, and spent countless nights happily planning the blueprint for the future with him.However, when faced with the news of her lover's death, she found powerlessly that she was still too ordinary and insignificant, not to mention saving many strangers, or even giving him a good memory before his death.

Realizing that it would be too heavy to say such words now, Qianxia Asuka paused, put away the faint haze on the brows of her brows, "Since you have repented, what happened in the past...although it is not very pleasant to many people. It's fair, but I'm here to make decisions for them willfully. Let the past go and look forward. Chiharu, I forgive you, and the wall in your heart should disappear. Live your life in the future Live the life you want."

The girl's eyes are an ordinary brown, and when you look closely, you will find that this color is different from other people's. Even though it is in the shadows, it can still linger brightly.

"I...do I really deserve to be forgiven?" Does she, who has killed so many people, with bloody hands, really deserve to be forgiven?As a descendant of the devil, she is only worthy of going to hell, and she has been regarded as a sinner since she was a child. Does she really deserve to be forgiven?She who has hurt so many people unconsciously...can she really be forgiven?

"Before you say something like this, you might as well ask yourself, have you forgiven yourself? In my opinion, the current situation is not that others refuse to forgive you, but that you have been brooding and refuse to forgive yourself. You Ah, if you keep blaming yourself too much, happiness will slip away quietly, okay?"

"I...forgive me?" Qianchun tilted her head, pointing at herself in surprise.

Forgive yourself.

It was the first time she had heard such a statement.

"Ah, it's a bit difficult to understand, right? Haha, it's okay, I'll leave you to find the answer to this sentence slowly. In short, in short! Life for life, this method can't solve the problem fundamentally, it won't work Yes. If you really feel sorry, what do you think you should do?"

Qianchun frowned, struggling to turn her brain.

"Apologize, and then find a way to seek their forgiveness?" This is the most normal and conventional way she can think of at present in a normal way.

"Hmm... yes, but maybe it's not enough. Let's go deeper, how do you seek their forgiveness? Also, what should you do with other people?" Asuka Qianxia patiently followed through .The reason why Qianchun committed suicide was because she felt that she lacked a reason to live.Qianxia Asuka wanted Qianchun to understand that everyone must have her own meaning in life, but she couldn't say it too bluntly—it was as if she had imposed all this on Qianchun.Let Qianchun figure it out on his own, and this can truly heal Qianchun's heartache.

"Stay away from...them?" she said uncertainly.

In order not to hurt the people who are still alive, it should be the best way to stay away from them?

"That's not the case!" Hearing her words, Qianxia Asuka couldn't laugh or cry, "You don't think that I won't let you call my name, and that you have nothing to do with Yuki's family, just to alienate you? You idiot! From now on From now on, you have nothing to do with the Yuki family, which means you don’t have to feel guilty about their affairs. Also, I told you from the beginning, your name is Qianchun, I’m Qianxia, ​​we... are Sister."

Chiharu, who first met Chinatsu Asuka at the age of 15, would never know how the sunny smile of the girl who called herself "Chinasummer" she saw at that time illuminated her life three years later.

This ray of sunlight forced its way into her world.

The snow in winter keeps falling, however, it will also usher in the day when it will stop.

The author has something to say: BGM: days-Lia

Growing up, I have thought about it for a long time, but I still feel that this is not an easy process.

The girl has been crying for several chapters. Fortunately, the crying scene is basically gone here, or I will collapse......==|||

Had such a weird conversation with a friend today

My generation: Damn, Daichun finally finished crying! ! ! ! !

Friends: ... ==

My generation: I'm going to collapse if she keeps crying

Jiyou: Then you still make people cry...

My generation: But if she doesn't cry, I don't know what else to do! ! ! !

Friend: ...sleep

My generation: == roll