In my days as a farmer

Dangkang occupies a place in the famous legendary and mythical recipes in Huaguo, and is a rare auspicious beast in the entire Shan Hai Jing map.

The original text says this: There is a beast in Qinshan, which looks like a dolphin but has teeth. Its name is Dangkang.

It means that in a place called Qinshan, there is a beast that looks like a pig, and its name is Dangkang.When the Kang pig has big teeth, the sound is the same as the name. When you see it, it is the harvest time for the whole country!

……Yo what!Is now the time to say this?

This kind of auspicious animal is very happy for an agricultural practitioner in Huaguo, but the premise is that it does not appear in his home, and it is not a pet pig sent by his good friend for almost a year.

What is it called?I treat you like a pet, but you are playing me?

Xia Dongli looked at the pig in front of him who was so calm that he didn't seem to have lost his horse, and he felt very complicated. Instead, Xiaokang waved his pig's trotters and said comfortingly: "It's okay, although you humans touch me from time to time. Go, hug me to sleep, pinch my nose, rub my ears and scratch the soles of my feet, I don't care either!"

That's not the problem, Xia Dongli showed a kind smile, and asked a question that hit people's hearts: "When Lao Xu sent Xiaokang over, he told me that Xiaokang was sterilized... Are you...?"

As soon as he finished speaking, the old dragon king immediately looked at Xiaokangzhu's lower body with shocked eyes, and then his expression suddenly became profound.

Whether an animal is neutered or not is generally quite obvious, especially for boars like Xiaokang who have undergone neutering surgery at a young age, it can be seen at a glance.

Cough cough, here I want to add that the sterilization of Xiaokang pigs was performed in a pet hospital back then. The doctor studied pet medicine back then, and he was somewhat unfamiliar with how to sterilize boars.

In addition, the owner of the pig, Xu, requested the safest and gentlest method, so Xiaokang’s neutering method is the same as that of ordinary dogs, except that the internal tissues are removed. It’s not that there is no small bell at all, it’s just smaller.

Because he had to take rice for sterilization before, Xia Dongli still had some understanding of this aspect, and therefore, after the arrival of Xiaokang, Xia Dongli did not doubt its sterilization at all.

So, this divine beast did this to cheat food and drink? !Is it too hard? ! !

Dangkang pig, bathed in the delicate eyes of everyone, was very calm. It flicked its short tail, "It's just a simple body adjustment, it's nothing to worry about."

It spoke in a nonchalant manner, with three parts carelessness and four parts indifference. In short, the whole demeanor showed the meaning of "you actually care about this, what a bunch of stupid human beings".

——However, this kind of micro-expression can be so easily interpreted by people... It must have been practiced, definitely practiced!

This mythical beast probably started to think about how to deal with the day when the incident happened, right?Only after rehearsing several times can I be so calm.But even if you have to face this situation, you insist on relying on Lao Xu's side. What is the purpose of this?

Apparently he wasn't the only one in the room who thought the same.The Xiaokang pig, who originally acted as if he could not be blown by the eight winds, was so calm and abnormal. In this weird atmosphere, he finally moved his little hoof a little uneasy, and finally he sighed reluctantly under the hot and unclear gazes of everyone. , Said vicissitudes: "The old man traveled in the wilderness back then, and saw the human race from clan to dynasty, good people, evil people, promising kings, and subjugated kings. He has encountered all of them, and he has experienced a lot."

"There are those who worship the old man, and some who regard the old man as evil spirits. Most of them want to imprison the old man in order to gain the prosperity of the world and increase his confidence in competing in the world."

While talking, its eyes became a little moist: "I have experienced everything, but I have never experienced the feeling of being held in the palm of my hand!"

This said, it was wronged: "The old man just happened to bump into the cub sale scene at the beginning, and then it was just a temporary idea. Xiaobai chose me, but I didn't insist on joining. And if the old man didn't intervene, Xiaobai Bai will be coaxed by that profiteer to bring a big fat pig home!"

Ah this...

Xia Dongli opened his mouth and closed it again.

He said how Lao Xu was so lucky to be able to buy a real little fragrant pig in the chaotic market that was mixed with fish and dragons back then. Beside Lao Xu, what Lao Xu wants to take home may be a large farm white pig.

Although Xiaokang is also very fat now, but if what Lao Xu brought back is really a big fat pig, its current weight may be three times that of Xiaokang.

Adult male pigs can grow to four to five hundred kilograms.

If the one brought back was really a big white pig, it is estimated that at that time, even if old Xu's father loved him like a mountain, he would not be able to stop the resistance of raising a half-ton boar.

In that situation, it is probably not a family where people and pigs love each other, but a tragic past that makes people's eyes turn red just thinking about it.

Xia Dongli's eyes drifted away, but he quickly thought of the various appearances of this pig living in his house-such as rolling in the mud twice in three days, being shameless in the face of the great cause of weight loss, stealing food, and picky eaters. No shortage……

It was precisely because of these actions that even though Xia Dongli thought that Xiaokang was very smart, he did not suspect that it was not a normal pig. After all, which god could have such a rascal!

Damn, are these all disguises?Such a good acting skill to pretend to be a pet, why not conquer Hollywood.

When he was thinking this way, he happened to see the small eyes of Dang Kang Zhu, who was sitting upright, flicking back and forth on the honey shaker intentionally or unintentionally.

Xia Dongli: =. =

"That's right!" He suddenly thought of a question, "Since you can control your body shape, why don't you just control yourself to lose weight when you are asked to lose weight?"

For two humans, as long as Xiaokang loses weight, he will not be forced to lose weight, but Xiaokang did not do this. Could it be said that Xiaokang actually enjoys being forced to lose weight by humans?

...no, it just forgot.

Xiaokang turned his head silently, but it was impossible to admit it. Instead of admitting it, it also said very calmly that this was the joy of life of small animals, which humans could not understand.

Well, as you please.

Xiaokang looked at Xia Dongli's face recovered from the shock, stood up and walked over with reserved steps, and pressed Xia Dongli's calf vaguely: "Xiao Xia, don't tell me who I am. White."

Xia Dongli's face suddenly showed a bit of struggle, and Xiaokang immediately explained: "I didn't mean to lie to him, but you also know that you are in a special situation. Ordinary human beings can't know about our world. If you tell him, he and I will be dealt with, and I have to leave him, do you have the heart to let our master be separated? Hey..."

Xia Dongli: ...

"Hey——" Xiaokang continued to persuade Xia Dongli with his bass, "Think about it, if someone told you that your rice is not an ordinary dog, and let it leave you, what would you think?"

Then there is no need to ask, the broom will definitely serve you, and after sweeping the floor, you have to sprinkle a handful of glutinous rice, Xia Dongli clenched his fist.

"That's right, Xiaoxia, you must understand Xiaobai's mood." Xiaokang followed the temptation, "And you think, we are not dating, what are you talking about cheating and sincerity when we are dating, we are simple Are you willing to complicate the simple and sincere relationship between master and pet?"

Damn, it makes sense, the relationship between master and pet is indeed stronger and more sincere than the relationship between lovers.

Xia Dongli couldn't help but glanced at his boyfriend, who was caught in a tangle, but he was startled immediately, no, the relationship between master and pet is not so pure, he had also seen all kinds of slave pets on a green website. The emotional drama of the upper class, if this is well-off...

When Kang was speechless, it even rolled its eyes: "The novels you read are cats, cats, dogs, snakes, snakes, and foxes. Have you ever seen a pig? And Xiaobai has a boyfriend."

"Oh...that's it." Xia Dongli felt that what Xiaokang said made sense, and he was somewhat convinced.

……and many more!

"Old Xu has a boyfriend?!!!"

……

"Hey, this..." Old Xu on the other end of the video call was a little awkward. Unprepared, he pushed his glasses three times within 10 seconds after receiving a fatal serial call from his best friend, trying to use this action to cover up his innocence. Awkward.

However, facing the urgency of his little friend, he still couldn't bear it in the end, and begged for mercy: "I didn't hide it from you, and it didn't take long for the incident to happen, so you are too well informed, right?"

"Hehe." Xia Dongli, who had mastered gossip information, responded indifferently.

"Really, just these few days..." Old Xu's eyes drifted, "I haven't tidied myself up yet, and I don't know what to say. Of course I can't talk to you."

"Who is the target? How old is it? What does it look like? How did you meet? How did you confess? How's the nightlife?" Xia Dongli kindly gave the person the form to answer, and raised his hand as a gesture to indicate the other party's free play.

Old Xu was stunned, did the little friend say something like a tiger and a wolf just now?

Xia Dongli said that you all sent pornographic videos to our Xiaoyu and said that he was talking about tigers and wolves. I should have thought of it at the beginning. If a person is really straight, how can he collect so many teaching materials for men and women? Yes, like Xia Dongli, there is no way to find it.

It's all because Lao Xu is usually too straight, he kept talking about looking for a young lady, and his behavior was straight enough, so he was deceived.

Xia Dongli ground her teeth and stared at the video with burning eyes.Old Xu talked about him from left to right: "As far as we were last time, oops, we found that we got along pretty well, so let's try..."

Something must have happened. I used to say that my boss is an unscrupulous exploiting class, the ugly side of socialism. How come I get along well now?Comrade Xiao Xia narrowed his eyes, and was about to continue to press for details, when Lao Xu suddenly jumped up excitedly: "Xiaokang! Son, show Dad how you are now!"

Xiaokang, who seemed to be casually walking past the camera, stopped at the same spot, then looked at the direction of the phone blankly, and then walked to the camera hesitantly under the repeated calls of Lao Xu, sniffing left and right, It was written all over the face [Jie what is it?Why does it have the voice of the master?" The curious expression of Duck.

The drama is really full... No wonder Lao Xu was coaxed into not wanting it.

Xia Dongli turned the phone camera to Xiaokang in amazement, allowing them to communicate freely between father and son. No, at this age, I am afraid it is not a communication between grandparents and grandchildren.He listened to one person and one pig coming and going. He endured it, but he still couldn't hold back his disappointment and said, "Aren't you going to come over on National Day? If you have something to say, then just say no."

"What's the difference!" Old Xu hummed, "You don't know how much I miss Xiaokang. I'm used to Xiaokang's cold belly meat. I couldn't sleep when it just left."

Xiaokang turned his head and glanced at Xia Dongli, his small expression was "Look, you humans just covet my body".

Xia Dongli, who once had a well-off belly, shifted his gaze, feeling a little guilty.There is one thing to say, the heat insulation effect of the thick fat layer is first-class, it is really warm in winter and cool in summer, especially after Xiaokang has just taken a shower in summer, Xia Dongli has not coveted it.

But now he doesn't dare to touch it anymore. It's really strange to find out that he is an old man after masturbating for a long time, so the small animal has to be raised by himself, otherwise he will suddenly learn the truth, and the psychological pressure will be real. so big.

Huh?and many more.

Xia Dongli looked in the direction of Xiaobaa with some hesitation. He also raised this sheep since he was a child. Xiaobaa (for food) is also first-class smart, and he usually does stupid things that lower his IQ and image. , Rolling in the mud is fine, and even doing things like rubbing pig milk, isn't Xiaobaa a normal sheep?

He felt that he was a bit of a shadow of a snake, but he couldn't help but cast his suspicious gaze on Xiaobaa again and again.It may be the "suspect neighbor stealing the ax effect", the more Xia Dongli looked at it, the more he felt that Xiao Baa's yellow horizontal pupils were full of wisdom that did not match his race.

But Xia Dongli was a little embarrassed to ask Uncle Geng.Uncle Geng has been a little elusive these days, he doesn't watch TV anymore, and floats around with his tablet every day.Once, Xia Dongli saw that his eyes were red for some reason, and he would gnash his teeth and say strange things like "again, always".

People are so intoxicated in their own world, Comrade Xiao Xia, who is somewhat socially fearful, is embarrassed to ask people in a daze when he sees people like this.

After wandering around the yard a few times, Xia Dongli still couldn't suppress the suspicion in his heart. He picked a day when the old Dragon King and Xiaoyu were not at home, touched a bitter gourd and a cucumber, and rubbed them in front of Xiaobaa .

"Little Baa." The majestic farmer shook two vegetables in front of Xiao Baa, then squatted down and said earnestly, "Cub, tell me honestly, are you a non-human?"

"Don't worry! Even if you are not an ordinary sheep, Dad will continue to raise you." Xia Dongli quickly added to Xiao Baa's faint yellow eyes, "There are quite a lot of abnormal animals in our family. Don't be stressed."

He held up the bitter gourd and cucumber and brought them to Xiaobaa: "If you are not human, you can take a bite of bitter gourd; if you are a normal sheep, you can eat cucumber."

Xiaobaa's eyes fell on the bitter gourd.

Bitter gourd, a nutritious vegetable, is as famous for its bitter taste as it is for its creepy appearance.

Small animals also have a preference for sweetness, such a bitter fruit is definitely...

Just thinking about it halfway, Xiao Bae bit off the bitter melon in his hand without hesitation.Before Xia Dongli could be shocked, Xiao Baa turned the bitter gourd and spit it on the haystack, then quickly snatched the cucumber from his other hand.

Xiao Bae, who successfully got two fruits, bit off a whole cucumber and swallowed it in three or two bites, and then began to concentrate on conquering bitter melon.

Xia Dongli stared dumbfounded at Xiaobaa who didn't mind the bitter taste of the bitter gourd and just opened his mouth to gnaw it, but although he didn't mind the bad taste, he encountered the problem that the bitter gourd was too thick and inconvenient to eat.So, he saw the goat crush the bitter gourd ferociously, and then ate it happily.

"Baa~" The little black face smelled the fruit and came over. They moved to Xiaobaa side by side, and their hairy heads moved to the side of the bitter gourd again and again, as if they didn't care about the bitter taste of the bitter gourd at all. , took a big bite the moment Xiaobaa showed a gap.

Chewing, chewing, it looks delicious.

... sheep also eat bitter melon

Xia Dongli was stunned. He silently took out his phone and posted quietly.

Netizens who eat melons quickly replied enthusiastically: Dear, have you ever eaten the taste of grass?Ever tasted hay?

Can a grass-eating animal think your bitter melon is bitter? ?If you want to change the face of the sheep, you might as well try lemon.

...It makes sense!Xia Dongli suddenly realized that he turned his eyes to the small brick house. He just bought lemons a few days ago.

But before he could put his idea into practice, the sky suddenly darkened. Xia Dongli was startled, and ran towards the small brick house reflexively.His reaction was not unpleasant. As soon as Xia Dongli ran into the small courtyard, the rain fell

what happened?It's autumn, and there's a sudden rainstorm?

While wiping his wet hair with a towel hanging outside, he entered the room wonderingly.

Unexpectedly, as soon as he stepped into the hall, he heard the old dragon king roaring in anger: "Why is this damn Xia Yidao always firing swords? This old man must tie him up and write me a sweet story!"

Xia Dongli: "???"