Ximenqing loves Wusong [Water Margin]

Berlin, the capital of Ireland, is a city of pubs.

The difference from the bars in my impression is that the bars here are not full of feasting and feasting, and each one has a long history.

Oak siding, gleaming fireplace,? Antique-grade barware.All kinds of stuffed animals are interspersed with bright flowers and plants of various colors. Before the evening, the bar was already full of people.

The four of us picked a seat by the window and sat down.

Erlang ordered several glasses of beer and two snacks.

After two glasses of wine, my father and Erlang chatted without knowing it,? No matter how my mother gave my father winks, he couldn't see it.

The communication between men and men is so simple. After a few glasses of wine, the sense of distance is gone.

My dad heard that Erlang graduated from the police academy, and he immediately had a good impression of him. He said that he wanted to be admitted to the police academy at the time. It was because of his poor physical fitness that he went to study accounting. It was his whole life not to become a policeman. Pity.

My mother immediately said: "What good is the police? Those who beat and kill have no future."

I said, "Erlang is no longer a policeman. He is now a sparring partner in the fitness club. Not to mention the high salary? Their boss admires him very much and calls him brother."

My mother curled her lips again: "Speaking of it, I'm still selling muscle mass. Who would do that with a brain?"

I said, "Mom, what do you mean?"

My mother said: "It means literally, what can you do?"

I said, "I don't care much. Didn't you say a while ago that you wanted to sever the mother-child relationship with me? Or let's formally sever it now."

My mother said: "You little bastard, you won't recognize your relatives after you're beautiful, right?"

I said: "Mom,? I don't recognize my relatives? Are you guilty of saying this?

My dad likes that I'm smart, so I'll try my best to be smart. My IQ is 185, which is higher than the president of the United States, right?

You like to watch idol dramas, so I am better than the hero in the idol dramas, now I am no worse than the popular traffic niche, right?

A son who worked so hard for you, is this still called disapproval by six relatives? "

My mother said: "If you have a high IQ, follow me! If you are handsome, follow me!"

You said that you paid for us, but we didn't work hard for you?

Isn't your father flattering the leadership and climbing up the ladder, trying his best to get a good grade before retirement, just to give you the status of a cadre's child?

Your mother and I go to the square dance from dawn to dusk, isn't it just to get to know more old men and women, so that they can introduce more partners for you?

In order to make you look more handsome, your mother, I don’t just watch domestic dramas? I even watch Korean dramas and American dramas together!Aren't I just afraid that you will not look western enough, and you will fall behind other children! "

I said: "Mom, you made my dad the chief of the section because of me? You want him to be the chief of the section, so go out and brag!

You watch Korean dramas and American dramas because of me?My dad told you not to look twice, you will divorce him!

You danced the square dance for me?Do you think I don't know that you like to gossip with those old ladies?

Jet Li is Li Lianying's cousin, Lu Xun is Zhou Xun's cousin, Saddam's second uncle is called Assam, and Assam no longer sells missiles but milk tea... Didn't you all find out this? "

My mother picked up a fork and poked my Tanzhong acupoint directly: "Ximen Qing, you dare to talk to your mother like that, you have no conscience!"

Erlang pulled my hand under the table desperately, and I was still stretching my neck to talk back to my mother: "I have a conscience! I have too much! Not only do I have a conscience, but I also have love. I just want to talk to the person I love. Together, what do you do!"

My mother was full of confidence when she was pressed by my father: "He is a man, and you are also a man. The two of you are perverted together!"

I said, "Mom, can you treat me like a girl? Just think you gave birth to a 1.8-meter-five big girl?"

My mother said: "Which 1.8-meter-five big girl has eight-pack abs? Which 1.8-meter-five big girl has eighteen centimeters?"

I was so scared that I covered the bottom: "Mom, you are still secretly measuring me? Which one of us is perverted?"

My mother said: "What's the matter with me measuring? Where have I never seen you as an old lady? I just measured through your underwear when you didn't get up in the morning! I am concerned about my son's physical development. What's wrong? "

"Mom! I'm already 29, and you still care about my physical development? Besides, do you care so much? These are my personal belongings, and you're violating my privacy by secretly measuring them!"

"Cut, tell me about privacy? Then why didn't you wear a pair of underpants when your kid was born?"

"I said mother, you, you... Ximen Tiezhu, take care of your wife Ouyang Jinhua! She measures other men!"

Ouyang Jinhua bared her teeth while being held down by Ximen's iron pillar: "Ximen Qing, look at you. Your IQ is 185, your height is 185, and that thing is 18.5. You can find a woman to pass on your genes! You are so Wouldn't it be a pity to waste it?"

I said: "My man is still 22.5, why is he wasting it on me? I don't even feel wronged, but you are still heartbroken? If you have the ability, let my dad use his 1.5 to help you have a second child!"

Ouyang Jinhua roared, Ximen Tiezhu said loudly: "Ximen Qing, although your father is very proud of my size, you don't have to make such a noise to let foreigners know, right?"

Erlang hugged me and walked out: "Qing, don't talk to uncles and aunts like this, you come back with me!"

The bartender opened the door for us: "Dear Mr. 18.5, please go. You and Mr. 22.5 are welcome to visit next time."

I froze: "Damn, do you understand Chinese?"

The bartender laughed and shook his bearded face: "Are there any Irish people today who don't understand Chinese?"

When he smiled like this, everyone in the room laughed.

Erlang and I covered our faces and ran away, and my mother and father also ran out quickly.

Along the way, none of the four of us spoke again.

Back at the hotel, I followed Erlang to my room, but my mother chased after me and said, "Ximen Qing, don't go!"

I looked back at her: "Then where do you want me to sleep? There are no vacant rooms in the hotel."

My mother said, "Come here and sleep with us."

I said, "I'm not going, lest you measure me!"

Without waiting for her to speak again, I walked in the door, took off all my clothes, and stood under the shower head to burn my head.

Erlang leaned against the door and looked at me: "Oh, are you still angry?"

I said, "Who wouldn't be angry with a mother like this at the booth?"

Erlang lowered his head and laughed straight: "No wonder you are so talkative, so you followed your aunt. Oh, you really have 18.5? I have to measure it for you some other day."

I splashed him with water: "Go to hell!"

This guy laughed, took off his clothes and walked in, raised his hand to help me wash my hair.

I hugged his waist and leaned on his shoulder: "Erlang..."

He said, "Huh?"

"hug you."

He put his chin on my forehead: "Tired?"

I didn't say anything but hugged him tightly.

He said, "Don't be afraid, I'm here."

I said, "Well, it's nice to have Erlang."

After taking a shower, Erlang took a towel and wiped my whole body carefully and carried me to the bed. The two of us kissed tenderly and caressed each other's body carefully.

Love is such a wonderful thing, it can cure all unhappiness.

I leaned on him and kissed him bit by bit, Erlang couldn't stand it but he still tried his best to hold back: "Qing, let's forget about tonight, uncle and aunt are next door."

I said, "Aren't you tired after thinking so much?"

After all, Erlang couldn't hold back, when he started exercising, he tried his best to restrain the bed from creaking and creaking.

After a while, I heard my mother knocking on the wall next door, and my father was persuading her. My mother started to scold and then cried.

Erlang and I continued to exercise, and after an hour, even my dad cried.

Erlang hugged me from behind and asked, "Qing, otherwise, let's stop for a while."

I rode on him instead and hugged his shoulders: "Don't stop, I have to let the old lady fully realize the reality, and she can stop when she knows that I can't break it."

The next morning, I stayed in bed and couldn't get up. I heard that my mother didn't get up either. I was tired and my mother told me to be angry.

Erlang delivered the breakfast to the room, stroked my hair and said, "Do you and your aunt have to make trouble like this?"

I said: "I have been fighting with my mother for more than [-] years, and we are familiar with each other's routines. This time, either the east wind will prevail over the west wind, or the west wind will prevail over the east wind. The outcome will be determined once, or she will have to fight with me for the rest of my life." .”

After dinner?, I discussed with Erlang about going out for a walk. My mother pretended to be sick and refused to go, and my father refused to go if he wanted to take care of her.

When I was changing clothes, my dad called Erlang out and muttered mysteriously for a long time.

When I came back, I asked Erlang what my dad had told him, but Erlang just smiled and refused to tell me.

St. Berlin College is the oldest college in Ireland, founded by Queen Elizabeth I. It is said that many Nobel Prize winners came from it.

The illiterate Erlang and I didn't go in at all. We stood outside the courtyard wall and took a few deep breaths, brazenly praising each other for being academic.

Erlang heard that a brand called "Guinness Force" has built an eight-story exhibition hall with the theme of beer. It not only shows you the production process, but also teaches you how to brew dark beer, so he told me to go there have a look.

The two of them had just stopped a taxi on the side of the road, when they suddenly saw a blonde girl striding over, opened the car door and was about to go up.

A middle-aged man chased after her and pulled her: "Helen, do you have to abandon me so cruelly? You are my muse. If I leave you, all my works will lose their souls."

The girl said: "Jie, you have repeatedly said that you love me, but it has been seven years, and you have changed three wives in a row and still refuse to marry me. Is this called love?"

The man said: "Helen, you must understand that the reason I love you is precisely because you are not my wife, you are different from my wives.

If one day you and I walked into the palace of marriage, wouldn't you be like them?Will I still love you as much as I do now? "

The girl hugged her shoulders and looked at him: "Who taught you such bastard words? You are an artist, so you can't say such shameless words."

The man said: "I forgot who said this, probably the person who said it was very shameless. Helen, don't leave me, okay? I really love you."

Erlang pursed his lips: "This man is not a good guy at first sight."

I stared at the man's sports jacket covered in paint and his thin face covered by his long hair: "I can't imagine that after 900 years, this guy still dares to call me shameless!"

The girl pushed the man's hand away: "Love is one thing, responsibility is another. Irresponsible love means nothing to me. Let me go."

Seeing that he couldn't keep the girl, the man began to grope his whole body back and forth to pick out his pockets: "Helen, I can give you everything, just please don't leave me! My house, my car, my money, my money, my house, my car, my money, etc. Here is my...dried sweet potato! This is what I used to increase my inspiration, I bought it from China at a high price, and I will give you the last two slices, Helen, don't go!"

The girl stared at the pile of things in his hand and frowned: "Jack Zhao, do you think I didn't know that your house was rented? What's the use of you giving me the key?

Your car has even lost its pedals. Do you want to bring it to me?

Your money?What can your three euros be enough for me?

And your dried sweet potatoes?

God, can you stop eating these things?Don't you know the horrible gas you make when you eat this stuff? "

Jack.His Majesty Zhao lowered his head weakly, and showed his picture album to the girl again: "But I still have these, my paintings! Each one is my painstaking effort. One day, it will be recognized by everyone in the world ! I will give you the brightest future!"

Helen looked up at the sky: "Okay, Jack, then let's talk about your painting. What is your painting?"

"This pair is Tang Taizong playing polo."

"May I ask why he is better than scissorhands?"

"Because he just scored a goal."

"Then who is this one?"

"Song Huizong."

"Why is he wearing a T-shirt? It has a [-] on it?"

"Song Huizong is a fan, he likes this!"

"Then who is this man?"

"Emperor Qin Shihuang."

"Which one is hugging and kissing him?"

"Han Feizi, Qin Shihuang loves him the most, and started a war for him."

Helen rubbed her forehead: "That's enough, Jie, you are painting Chinese paintings, but you want to go to Ireland to develop. You are painting historical figures, but everyone in the paintings is out of tune. With you like this, I believe you can give My future?"

"Helen, listen to me..."

"Gah", an extended Lincoln stopped in front of him, and a young man stepped down. Although he couldn't see his face, he was obviously very handsome.

Helen flew over like a bird, and plunged into his embrace: "Darling, you are finally here."

The young man kissed her lightly on the cheek, then turned to look at His Majesty Huizong: "This is..."

Helen said: "He is my ex-boyfriend, and he went crazy when he learned that I was going to marry you."

The young man extended his hand to His Majesty in a graceful manner: "Hi, I am Helen's fiancé, nice to meet you."

Although His Majesty was not happy, he still stretched out his hand and shook him.

Erlang was not interested in this kind of street gossip, so he tugged at my hand and said, "Qing, let's go, I'm afraid the museum will close later."

Hearing the voice, the young man raised his head to look at us, and suddenly chased after us and asked, "Hi, are you Mr. Ximen Qing?"