Ximenqing loves Wusong [Water Margin]

**

Child education

Hanhan would come back to visit Erlang and me every year, and each time he brought his own guard, which was a dozen wolves and two goshawks.The goshawk leads the way, and the wolf follows it as a guard.

Hanhan's temperament is very similar to that of Erlang. He is not vicious and doesn't talk much, but his subordinates are afraid of him.

They walked at least 200 miles from the mountain to the barracks. They all took the official road along the way, swaggering like real officials' children.

Erlang gave Hanhan a token to hang around his neck, no matter which official card they got, no one would stop them.

Every time they appear, those people will be frightened to scatter, screaming one after another.

No matter how panicked the people around him are, how they run, how they shout, Hanhan still keeps his eyes fixed on him, how he swaggers, how he is a born king, how he looks down on all living beings.

Until he entered the barracks and saw his father, the child immediately put down his airs, lay down on the ground with his head close to his ears, and kowtowed to his father.

When Erlang patted it on the head and said a few words about the hard journey, please get up quickly.

Only then did Hanhan dare to raise his head, and rubbed affectionately on Erlang's lap, the two of them frolicked like a real father and son, and came back to see me together.

As soon as he saw me, he became more lively. He jumped up and hugged my neck and licked it, just like a wanderer returning home seeing his mother.

The soldiers brought up the freshly killed cattle and sheep to entertain Hanhan and his subordinates.

After dinner in the evening, Hanhan wanted to sleep with me after taking a shower, but he didn't dare to jump on the kang after looking at his father.

I said: "Erlang, look at you scared our son, the child finally went home, what's wrong with sleeping together?"

Erlang said: "How old is he and still sleeps with his mother? How can he manage his subordinates when it is spread? Stupid, sleep with dad at night, we two have a chat."

I rolled my eyes at him: "Hey, it seems like the two of you can really talk about something."

But this guy really took his son to sleep next door. When I got up at night, I saw that the light in their room was still on, so I peeked at the door cracked out of curiosity.

I saw Erlang holding a charcoal pen and a wooden board in his hand, and while drawing upwards, he said to Hanhan: "When confronting the enemy, you must first look at the shape of the terrain. If it is flat ground, you have the best chance of outflanking and encircling it. If it is mountainous ground, you must take advantage of it." And okay, what did you just say? You have more valleys?"

Hanhan looked at the board, as if saying yes.

Erlang said: "This type of terrain is most suitable for ambushes. You see, my father taught you: ambush two people here, two more people there, and a few more people here, so as to completely cut off the enemy's retreat and not give them a chance to breathe." Chance……"

I pushed the door open: "Erlang, why don't you go to bed late at night and teach your son the art of war?"

Erlang said: "Yes." Hanhan rubbed his shoulders, as if saying yes.

I asked Hanhan: "Why don't you bring your wife and your children with you when you come back this time?"

Erlang said: "The children have left home when they grow up, and they have their own territories."

I asked Hanhan again: "Then why didn't your wife come back with you? Was there a fight?"

Erlang said: "Our daughter-in-law is married again, and now she is too protective of her son, she loses her temper as soon as Hanhan passes by, and Hanhan moves out."

I asked Hanhan again: "Why do you think you are so capable? If you can control wolves, it's fine, why even the eagles in the sky listen to you?"

Erlang said: "It's not difficult. Those eagles heard that it came here on their own initiative. Tigers, wolves, and eagles cooperate to fight together, and it is easier to catch prey. Moreover, they understand the art of war, so they all obey him."

I stared at Erlang dumbfounded: "How did you obtain such a large amount of information?"

Erlang was a little surprised: "What our son said just now."

I pointed at Hanhan and then at him: "He said it? Are you sure?"

Erlang said: "Yes, that's what it said, we had been chatting for a long time before you came in."

I looked at Hanhan's fluffy face, and I really couldn't imagine how the two of them talked.

He arched his hands at the two masters, pushed the door and came out.

The next day, I told Mrs. Lin about it.

I said that when I was young, Hanhan was the closest to me, but now that I have grown up, how can I get better and better with his father?

The two huddled together and chatted for a long time. I am not surprised that Hanhan can understand what Erlang said. What is strange is how Erlang can understand what Hanhan said. Anyway, I have never I understand.

Mrs. Lin said that this is not surprising. In the past, Xiaobao was the closest to her when he was young, but now that he has grown up, he is also close to his father. They chatted for a long time, talking about things Mrs. Lin couldn't understand either.

Thinking about it carefully, it seems to be true. I used to talk with my dad about the international situation, the World Cup and so on, and my mother couldn't understand it.

Thinking of it this way, my heart is relieved.

Hanhan lived for a few days and was about to go back. I was a little bit reluctant to bear him, so I hugged his neck and asked when he would come back to see me again.

Erlang said: "For men, career is the most important thing. Our old couple are in good health now, so we let the children go out to play more. After a few years, the old one will not move, and we will follow it into the mountains to live up to it. "

I scolded him and said crazy things, but looking at Hanhan's expression, it seemed that the two of them had already discussed this matter.

Come on, my father and I have a good relationship, we just can't be jealous of this matter!

**

Master

One day, Lin Xiaobao asked me: "Uncle Ximen, what are the top experts in the world?"

I said: "Son, the top players all have one thing in common. They have a steady mind and a quick shot. Before you even start to do it, they have already judged what you want to do next, and they will stop it in time, and they will not give you anything." Any room!"

Lin Xiaobao: "So powerful? Can you give me an example?"

Me: "It's too easy to give an example, just look at it! Erlang, I think..."

Jiro: "No way!"

"Xiaobao, did you see it? This is what a top expert looks like!"

Lin Xiaobao: "..."

**

show off

Me: "Yan Qing, look at this knife of mine. Erlang specially asked the best teacher in the Kingdom of Jin to pay me to make it. Does it look good?"

Yan Qing: "Hehe."

"Yan Qing, look at my big cloak. Erlang killed a big bear, and the bear skin he peeled off with his own hands was made for me by a tailor. Doesn't it look good?"

Yan Qing: "Hehe."

"Yanqing, do you want to drink ginseng tea? Hou Erlang brewed it for me when I went out. I was afraid that I would be thirsty on the way. Why do you think Erlang is so kind to me? He is so kind to me."

Yan Qing: "Hehe."

"Yan Qing, look at the horse I'm riding was also given to me by Erlang, isn't it very handsome and mighty?"

Yan Qing: "I don't ride a horse. I ride outside my family. Do you dare to ride your second master?"

I:"……"

**

Huizong: "Jieyou, you don't seem to have read any books, but why is your brain so good?"

Me: "A good brain has nothing to do with reading, it mainly depends on what you eat."

Huizong: "Then what do you usually eat?"

"Dried sweet potatoes, exclusive secret recipe, three slices a day, to ensure quick thinking."

"What kind of dried sweet potato is so good?"

"I've already said that it's an exclusive secret recipe, so it's okay? Your Majesty, do you want to try it? Take three tablets a day, and you can take ten days' worth first. It's not expensive, that's 300 taels of silver."

"Isn't 300 taels expensive? How can I have so much money now?"

"If you don't have any money, you can pay with paintings. I'll give you an internal price of 300 taels of silver, which counts as ten paintings."

"It still sounds a little expensive, that's all, let me take ten days first."

ten days later

Huizong: "Jieyou, I have eaten dried sweet potatoes for ten days, and I feel that my brain has not improved, but the gas below seems to be a little more, and the smell is really... Is your method not working for me? "

"Tsk, it's useless, how can my brain work so well? It's useless to take it, probably because the dose is too small. How about it, you can increase the dose for yourself, take ten tablets a day, and take it for ten days, 1000 taels of silver... …Don’t stare in a hurry, it’s better to pay with the paintings, counting thirty for you, eat well at home, and paint carefully.”

Another ten days later.

"Jieyou, I went back to eat as you said this time. Not only did I not feel my brain functioning well, but the exhaust was even worse, and the smell... hey, it was so smelly that my two concubines didn't come to my side. up.

Jieyou, are you deliberately deceiving me about my painting? "

"Holy Majesty, don't you see that your brain is already functioning well?

You can even see the painting where I lied to you.Does it mean that dried sweet potatoes are still useful, or would you take another course of treatment for ten days? "

"..., Jieyou, I want to kill your nine clans!"

**

Waist-length hair

Early in the morning, I heard Princess Ma Erhan crying.

Mrs. Li held the door and walked in and asked, "My dear daughter-in-law, what happened this early in the morning? Did our Tieniu bully you?"

Princess Ma Erhan burst into tears and answered: "Emo (mother), Fu Ma didn't bully me, I was too sad."

"Because of something sad, tell mother."

"Yesterday, I went to Sister Yueniang's house to play, and saw that the jade stone noodles that Big Brother Dai bought for her were very beautiful, so I asked my son-in-law to buy them for me.

The son-in-law agreed, when your hair reaches your waist, I will buy it for you..."

Mrs. Li said: "Didn't Tie Niu promise you? Look at your hair is almost down to your knees!"

Princess Ma Erhan burst into tears: "But Ermo, where did my waist come from!"

Mrs. Li: "..."