Be Dazai's mother

Reborn was silent for a while, and then said: "Okay, let's leave a separate space for them to talk."

The exorcising masters at the Chang family were a little dissatisfied. They came here mainly to catch the legendary ghosts who can fulfill other people's wishes.Although they are a little confused about how things are going now, but if they want them to seize the opportunity to give the ghost to slip away from their hands, this group of exorcists will not be reconciled.

However, before the exorcists could say anything against them, Zhong Yuanzhong, whose expression became very terrifying, looked at them firmly and said, "Huh?"

Unlike the monster extermination masters who are used to manipulating shikigami to fight, Zhong Yuanzhong also directly went to the field to fight by himself, and the number of people who died under his hands was countless.When Zhongyuan Zhong also looked over with murderous intent, the most dissatisfied exorcists couldn't help shaking a few times.

Chang Jingsi raised his eyebrows and weighed the pros and cons.What Dazai Osamu mentioned, he must have thought that the randomness of granting ghosts to fulfill their wishes is too unstable, not to mention according to what it just said, even the ghosts themselves have no way to control the desire to exchange their lives for wishes. condition.

After thinking about it, staying here to fight against Osamu Dazai and others to subdue an unstable monster would do more harm than good.It's better to accept it as soon as you see it, and accept the reward that Osamu Dazai should have paid before.

Thinking of this, Zhang Jingsi left with his own people.

The others also followed and left the place. When Tsunayoshi Sawada left here with Reborn and the others, he took a last look at the scene over there.

Osamu Dazai, who was a little scary in his eyes, showed a slightly flustered look on his face. He tightly held Miss Sachiko's hand, and his whole body trembled several times visibly.

Ms. Sachiko, who was smiling before leaving the hotel, looked particularly energetic except for being a little tired, deflated like a balloon at this moment.Noticing Miss Sachiko's weakness, Osamu Dazai helped her to sit down so that Miss Sachiko could half lean in his arms.

This also made Sawada Tsunayoshi truly realize that Ms. Sachiko, who was joking with her just now, was really going to die.

Sawada Tsunayoshi felt deep fear and sadness for this. This was the first time he had come into contact with death so closely.

"Gang." Reborn at the side called him calmly with an emotionless voice.This made Sawada Tsunayoshi bow his head in response, and left here with heavy steps.

···

When everyone left here, only me and Azhi and Huimei who was still choking and crying were left in this open space, I finally breathed a sigh of relief.

Perhaps it is out of my wonderful self-esteem, even if I am trying to be strong, I don't want to show my too weak side in front of so many people.Because my body is getting weaker and weaker, half lying in Azhi's arms is the most I can bear.

Therefore, I am very grateful to Mr. Reborn, who is considerate. It is also thanks to him that I can have a good talk with Azhi like I am now.

Of course, let's appease Emi first.She loved to cry a lot when she was alive. Although she is already a mother of two children, she is not so much a mother as she is still a child herself.

"Hui Mei, you have done a good job, don't cry anymore." I comforted her softly several times, and finally made Hui Mei stop crying.

I also learned about Emi's experience from her broken words.After Huimei regained consciousness after death, she found that she had become a gift ghost.

If she really wanted to say something, she herself couldn't say it too specifically.It seems that women who died tragically during their lifetime will have a certain possibility of becoming a gift ghost.The Giwu ghost will give a gift to the person who helped it - the so-called person who helped the Giwu ghost actually refers to the person who helped it before the other party was alive.

After regaining consciousness, Emi has been looking for "Haruko". After learning that Haruko died, Emi had a very muddle-headed time until she met me by chance some time ago and immediately recognized my soul.

But at the same time, she also noticed one thing - that is, I am going to die.

Other monsters and humans can't notice it, but as a ghost who has died before becoming a ghost, and a ghost is a very special kind of monster, Emi can naturally sense that I am about to die.

The soul of the original owner of this body has long since disappeared, leaving an empty shell for me to use. It is also because this body has a special physique, and because Mei's soul is very similar to mine, I am worthy of using this body. With a body for ten years.

But ten years is already the limit, after a while this body will be wiped out together with Mei's soul.At the moment when my body is destroyed, my life will also come to an end.

It's not that Huimei didn't want to find another body in the past, even if the soul of the original owner was erased, she wanted me to live.

But how easy is this kind of thing?There are not many bodies with special physiques in the world, and even if there are, it is not clearly written "I am a person with a special constitution". Even if you find a person with a special constitution, you have spent nearly ten years in Mei's body. I can't get used to other bodies either.

Emi, who became a gift ghost, was able to give me a "gift" to fulfill my wish, but this gift came with a price of death that she couldn't control herself, so Emi was not going to give me a "gift".But when she realized that I was about to die, Emi fell into a daze.

After discovering that there is no way to change my death anyway, Emi decided to come to fulfill my wish at the end of my life, which is why she came here disguised as a girl sheltering from the rain that day.

"I'm sorry." Huimei choked up again as she spoke, and said, "I can't help you." She was very guilty, and this emotion infected me, and I couldn't help but feel sad.

"No, you've helped me a lot, thank you, Emi." I smiled at her.

Originally, I wondered what the "gift" to the ghost was, but just now I suddenly realized that the "gift" to the ghost was a prayer that spanned time.In other words, if I was going to die, what would I be thinking about when I died—what would Azhi’s future be like without me?

And what kind of wish would I make in that way—I hope that I can see with my own eyes that Aji's future will be good without me.

Thinking of this, I unconsciously looked at A Zhi who was silent at the side.

Even though I was so afraid of death, I, who was in pain and despair when I died in the past, am now incredibly calm.If there is anything I can't let go of, then it is only Azhi.

——If I die, what should this child do?

Emi, who is a gift ghost, sensed this desire in my heart, and let me see the future of "Osamu Dazai" without Sachiko in the past few days.

Noticing the gentle look in my eyes when I looked at Aji, Emi was silent for a while, then opened her mouth and said, "Actually, I have become a monster long ago and I don't have much sense. I value Haruko very much, even today."

I stared blankly at Huimei who was kneeling on the ground with her head bowed. I was a little puzzled, but I chose to quietly listen to Huimei's next words.

Huimei said softly: "But even so, when I saw you again, when I found out that you were still alive, my heart was filled with joy..."

She looked at me with wide eyes, and said in a soft and sweet voice: "The obsession with wanting to be your child reached its peak in an instant, making me want to peel open your belly and sneak in .”

Emi smiled shyly and said, "Haruko's stomach must be very, very warm. It would be such a blessing to be able to curl up in your stomach. As long as When I think of becoming Haruko's child, I am overjoyed."

After all, something has changed.Emi, who was still a human, would never say such a thing, and it is absolutely impossible to still look natural after saying such a thing.

For some reason, I suddenly thought of Sayuri and the others I met about ten years ago. They were just ordinary people before they were alive, but they turned into crazy evil spirits after death.

At the moment of death and turning into monsters and evil spirits, those gentle wishes turned into crazy obsessions, hurting others as well as themselves.

A feeling of sadness welled up in my heart, and I stopped Azhi from trying to stand in front of me, and I asked, "...then why didn't you do that?"

Speaking of this, Huimei seemed a little helpless and a little angry and said, "Why? Of course it's because you are the mother of another child, Haruko, right?"

After she finished speaking, she stared at Aji angrily, and said as if feeling jealous: "That's great, I want to be Haruko's child too."

Aji grinned at her, "I'm sorry, I'm the only child of Sachiko."

Emi looked even angrier.

Aji sighed proudly.

I quickly separated the two children who seemed to be a five-year-old and a six-year-old.Looking at Huimei, I sighed helplessly, and said, "How should I put it, luckily you gave up. Being cut open sounds painful, and I don't want to experience it."

Emi said like a dying balloon, "Indeed, I'm sorry."

I felt a little helpless in my heart, and said: "I always feel very uncomfortable."

Emi smiled shyly, and said, "I was worried about whether Haruko would change... How should I put it, you are still as gentle as before."

As she said that, Huimei showed a dazed expression as if she was recalling something, and said, "When I saw Haruko again after I died, I knew it by looking at the look in your eyes when you were with this man. I can't be your child anymore."

She looked at Azhi aside, and said with calm eyes: "After all, to you, this person is already the most important child."

Aji also looked back at Emi calmly.

I opened my mouth, for a moment I didn't know what to say, and suddenly something flashed in my mind, but I didn't say anything, because I didn't want to touch things that would make Emi sad.

But Emi knows me very well, even if I am no longer "Haruko" but "Sachiko", she can still see what I am thinking.

Hui Mei said, "Are you wondering if I went back to see my child?"

I hesitated, neither nodded nor shook my head.

Huimei looked at the sky, as if she was looking at a place far away, and said, "My own child? Well, yes, I did go back and look at it secretly."

She lightly mentioned that she went back to her "home" before she was alive. Her husband married another woman, and that woman ran away directly after being unbearable to her husband's domestic violence.And her two children have now separated from her husband and lived their own lives.

"I'm not like you, Haruko, who can always see the good side of the people around you and magnify it infinitely."

"I can't love my child." Huimei said: "Even today."

"Of course, if you say you hate it, you can't hate it... well, maybe there is hatred." Huimei smiled at me, just like a little girl who hadn't grown up back then, she said: "But it doesn't matter It's my business, I'm dead after all."

"..." A feeling of sadness welled up in my heart.

Huimei shook her head and said, "I'm fine no matter what. Haruko, you're not good at this. You think about others more than yourself."

"But I obviously wanted to help Haruko... Unfortunately, I couldn't do anything." Emi said sadly.

"No, you've already helped me a lot." I repeated it again, comforting Emi softly.

The words are the same as I just said, but I can feel myself much weaker than when I said it a few minutes ago.

I'm really going to die.

I thought calmly.

Looking at me, Emi sighed, and said, "...Although I still want to say a lot to you, Haruko, do you have something more important to say to your child? I'll leave it to you two .”

After saying that, Emi disappeared.

This area fell into silence again, and the grass was blown by the wind, making a rustling sound.

Looking at the place where Huimei disappeared, I was in a daze for a while before I came back to my senses. I turned my head to look at Azhi, and I called softly, "Azhi."

Azhi didn't speak, he didn't look at me as if he was angry.I suddenly remembered that when I was half asleep and half awake, Azhi sitting next to me said that if I broke my promise and left him, he would hate me.

I never doubt what Azhi said seriously, and I also believe that if I just leave like this, Azhi will indeed hate me.

Especially sometimes love and hate are two sides of the same coin.It's not surprising that Aji hates me because of this.

But if you don't say something quickly, it will be too late.

Ignoring Azhi's indifference, I grabbed his hand and told him: "Azhi, remember to wear an extra coat when it's cold. The coat is for wearing. Button it up when it's cold. Don't wear it just because you think you're handsome." If you really can’t, put some baby warmers in your clothes. All in all, don’t freeze yourself. When it’s hot, don’t try to keep cool and blow on the air conditioner for too long, don’t wash too much in cold water, and those ice cream, watermelon and other things Don't eat too much, be careful of diarrhea."

"Drink more water and stay up late on weekdays, don't always picky eaters and only eat canned crab meat, and don't play games for too long, it is not good for your eyes, pay more attention to safety when you go out, if the work of the mafia is too dangerous, don't do it, I believe in your ability, I believe that you have extraordinary intelligence, but I still worry about your safety..."

I kept talking like a cannonball, which made Aji, who had a cold expression, ignore the anger in his stomach, and complained with a headache: "Wait! Sachiko! You talk too much,"

I said "Hey" and said, "Just listen patiently, after all, this is the last time."

In fact, I still have a lot to say, and Azhi always makes me worry. Just the words of exhortations can make me talk for three days and three nights... But there is not enough time.

Azhi was silent, he pursed his mouth, and nodded slightly.

So I couldn't help nagging some words: "Don't always push the mess to Mr. Chuya to clean up. Also, friends are very important things, although I know that the relationship between you is different from that of ordinary people's friends. The same, but even so I can understand that the three of you value each other very much, if that is the case, sometimes there is a certain distance that needs to be properly broken..."

I actually once thought about what would happen if I died, Azhi?

I have also imagined the scene of my death, those scenes are always "lively" in my little mind, I even imagined the scene of Azhi holding my hand and telling me not to leave.

What I never imagined was that... on the day of real death, our parting would be so peaceful.

But if I saw Azhi begging me not to leave before I died, I am afraid that I will not be able to die in peace. I am afraid that until the moment I die, I will be anxiously thinking about what Azhi will do if I die.

Therefore, this kind of calm at this time made me feel at ease.

"Sorry." Perhaps aware of my delicate mood, Aji said softly: "I should cry at this time...but I can't cry. I'm sorry, Sachiko."

When he said this, his eyes were lowered, and his face was calm.Aside from the shaky "Mom" he yelled when he first learned I was going to die, Ji didn't seem at all impressed by my death.

If someone else is here, I'm afraid they will misunderstand him, thinking that Azhi is a cold and heartless person.

But I know that he was just deprived of the right to cry, even if he was extremely sad, Azhi couldn't shed tears.

But is this his fault?It's as cold and cruel as condemning people who are born with disabilities for being disabled.

So I just laughed and joked: "Oh, I feel ashamed to make that crying scene."

Azhi was stunned, I smiled helplessly, and grabbed his hand.

"That's good." I said softly, "You just need to be yourself, Azhi."

My child, my most important child, I just want you to be happy at any time.

Azhi opened his eyes wide, as if he was enduring something, he clenched his fists tightly.A gust of wind blew, with the scent of flowers, but in Azhi's eyes, all of this was like poison, making him unable to breathe.

Ah Zhi gritted his teeth so hard that I could hear the crackling sound.This made me sigh helplessly, and I grabbed his hand and continued talking.

"It's your birthday in a few days, and I feel a little regretful that I can't participate in your birthday."

"You found out about the birthday present I prepared in advance... But I actually prepared a new present, and you will be able to receive it on your birthday."

"You..." Azhi made a very unsteady voice.Perhaps aware of his gaffe, Azhi calmed down, and said in an extremely suppressed voice: "You clearly said that you would not leave me."

"Ah." I responded, "I said, I won't leave you."

"No matter how long we have been apart, no matter how far we are, even if we are separated by two ends of the world, mother and Azhi are still connected in heart." I closed my eyes and said the promise back then.

I opened my eyes, smiled at him, and said, "Even if I die, I will still be by your side to protect you."

"This kind of lying to children is useless to me." Azhi took a deep breath, and he stared at me like a dying beast staring at a hunter. Azhi said: "No matter what, You are breaking the agreement."

"Okay, okay." I said helplessly, "I'm sorry."

Azhi choked for a moment, and was speechless for a while. I looked at him sadly, and reached out to stroke his cheek, just like lovingly touching the face of an eight-year-old child back then.

"Ah Zhi..." I shouted softly, "But even so, one sentence is true."

"I love you dearly, my child."

"Even if I die, this love will never disappear. The ten years I spent with you will never disappear."

Azhi was silent. He lowered his eyes and said softly: "...I'm sorry, I said such willful words. Obviously you can't control death yourself."

Heck, I'd rather he said he'd hate me like a wayward kid.It makes me sad to be like this now.

I stroked his cheek and said lovingly: "Don't cry. From now on, even if there is only one person, you have to live well."

"I didn't cry." Azhi said stubbornly.

I laughed a few times, and stroked his dry cheek again as if I was embracing a child who pretended not to cry.

"Sometimes crying doesn't just show on your face." I smiled and said, "It's like when I met you back then, you were obviously smiling but it was like a crying bird crying "Help me!" me too."

"So you couldn't let me go at that time?" Azhi said jokingly.

I nodded and said, "Yes."

We chatted and chatted about some things back then. Azhi said that he resisted me very much when he first saw me, saying that he was very afraid that I would kill him from the spiritual level.And I said that when I saw him for the first time, I felt a little uncomfortable because of the aura on his body, but I couldn't help paying attention to him afterwards.

We talked a lot, but it seemed that we only talked a few words. Finally, I sighed: "Ten years... It always feels like a long time, but it seems to have passed in the blink of an eye. There are still many things that have not been done. But I'm already dying."

"Yes." Azhi closed his eyes and smiled wryly, and said, "It's really a very long...and short ten years."

Looking at his face, I showed a happy smile and said: "But I am really happy, thank you for choosing me to be your mother. I am really happy." Everyone who has been with this child for ten years Every bit of it is like a dream, so happy that it makes people cry.

Azhi smiled calmly and said, "Well, I am the same. Thank you for choosing me to be your child."

I laughed a few times, then showed a somewhat mysterious smile, and said, "Of course, even if I die, I will change to another way to accompany you."

···

After Sachiko said that, Osamu Dazai seemed to have noticed something, and he said helplessly, "I clearly—"

Suddenly, he realized something, and stared blankly at Sachiko who was lying on the ground and had stopped breathing.

The death of a person is always like this. It seems that there are still many things to say, but the other party dies very suddenly, without even saying goodbye, and the most important thing slips out of his hands.

"..."

Osamu Dazai looked at Sachiko who seemed to be asleep in silence, and then called softly, "Sachiko?"

"..."

However, no one responded to him this time.

Osamu Dazai called her again: "Sachiko?"

"..."

Still no one answered him.

Dazai closed his eyes.

The clearing returned to silence again.

Then, at that moment, Sachiko's body suddenly shattered into pieces, turning into a pile of ashes, which flew around when the wind blew.

Osamu Dazai opened his eyes wide, and subconsciously stretched out his hand to grab the ashes, but he couldn't catch anything. The sunlight scattered and pierced into Osamu Dazai's eyes, causing him to narrow his eyes uncomfortably. To a blank palm.

Sachiko disappeared like a light.

Osamu Dazai looked at his empty palm, lowered his head and closed his eyes tightly.