Be Dazai's mother

I was let down by Mr. Horibe again, I thought so while looking at the text message.

But this time there was really no way. It was said that the rain was falling so badly that it was getting bigger and bigger.Yayuan is also a small mountainous place, and now the entrance is blocked, people outside can't get in, and people inside can't get out, and the news is reporting this incident.It is said that the relevant personnel are doing their best to clean up the things blocking the entrance.

Horibe-san, who originally planned to come today, couldn't come in even if he wanted to.

I was a little dumbfounded for a while.

Although my desire to go back to sleep in when I woke up was fulfilled, I couldn't be happier that it could be done this way.

But no matter what, since it has happened, it can only be accepted.

It was probably because of the heavy rain outside. After waking up yesterday, I was very refreshed, and for some reason, I was extremely sleepy at this time, and my whole body was very tired.After I went downstairs and asked Mrs. Xingyue, the proprietress, for a bowl of porridge, I went back to sleep in the room again.

···

My brain hurts so much that I think about taking my head off.His whole body was heavy and tired, and he was still twitching slightly while aching.However, the consciousness in my mind still seemed to be in chaos, and the things in my vision became blurred.

I was wondering where I was now, when the man's voice I heard sounded again.

"Are you here again?" The man asked in surprise, "I thought you would never come again."

I suddenly recalled the dream I had last night, and realized that I have now met the man who looks like Aji again.

So now this is... a serial dream?Or is it not a dream at all?

No, the brain hurts too much, and I really can't squeeze out my reason.I rubbed my head with a headache.

Seeing that I didn't respond to him, and the man didn't care too much, he said to himself: "The last time I met you was last month, and the time was so short, I thought I accidentally did something strange. Where is the dream?"

"Dream?" I said in a daze, "Aren't I just in a dream now?"

The man laughed a few times and said, "Maybe all of us are in a dream from which we cannot wake up."

"Maybe you're right." Dazed I agreed.

I shook my head and focused on the man in front of me.I couldn't see his appearance clearly, I could only see him sitting on a chair in the office correcting documents, although the man didn't speak, but he was showing a feeling of exhaustion all over his body.

"Since the last time I saw you, you have been very tired." I hesitated for a while and asked, "How long have you not slept?"

"Who knows?" The man put down the document and looked at me. He smiled self-deprecatingly and said, "I can't remember myself."

I showed a look of astonishment—even though I couldn't see any expression from my current appearance, I asked: "I can't remember? It seems that you really haven't had a good rest for a long time. Why don't you go to sleep for a while?"

The man smiled and said: "I'm very busy, I don't have time to rest." He raised his head and motioned me to look at the pile of documents on his desk.

"No matter how busy you are, you have to take a break, or your work efficiency will decrease, right?" I said disapprovingly.

"No." He said proudly, "Unless I want to be lazy, otherwise no matter how long I haven't slept, my work efficiency will always be very high."

"You're quite proud, aren't you?" I said angrily and funny, "Aren't you tired like this?"

The man paused, smiled and said, "Not tired."

I opened my mouth and kept saying something for a while, and after a while of silence, I said, "But you look tired." It was as if I was burning my own life.The exhaustion exuded from his body is not only physical, but more spiritual.

"I'm not tired." The man said stubbornly.

"How can you not be tired?" I asked back.

The man smiled and said, "Not tired."

I patted my head with a headache.

To be honest, except for Azhi, I have never seen such a stubborn person like him. I sighed and said, "Well, you are not tired. But are you not afraid?"

"What am I afraid of?" The man smiled sarcasticly as if he thought it was funny.

I pondered for a while and said, "Hmm...bald? As far as I know, if you stay up all night without sleep, your hair will fall out quickly. For example, there is a young man named Ango among the people I know. He lost his hair all the time because of excessive social animals. Last time I recommended a hair restorer to him because of this, but I don’t know if it will work if he uses it.” I shook my head and said.

The man froze for a moment—as expected, no matter who it is, as long as it comes to the serious problem of baldness, it will be ready immediately.

But what I didn't expect was the man's next words. He asked with a dark face: "You seem to trust that guy Ango very much."

I seem to have heard the sound of teeth grinding faintly?Probably an illusion.

I looked blankly at the man with a bad face and said, "After all, he is my son's friend."

I couldn't help showing a soft face, and said: "Oh, that kid is very timid about many things. When he was young, I was worried about what he would do if he grew up without friends." Saying this, I still remembered A long time ago.

At that time, I had just met Azhi, and I was troubled by worrying about whether Azhi would be lonely without friends.

Aji also asked me, "Is that why Sachiko wants me to have friends?"

At that time, I replied like this: "If there is really a friend who can have a good conversation with you and even understand you to the deepest point, wouldn't that be great?"

Even now I think so.This child is too lonely. As a mother, I still have things that I can't do. If he can have friends who have a good time with him, that would be the best thing.

Of course, Azhi back then smiled and said, "There won't be that kind of person."

Probably even he himself could not have guessed that my wish would come true. After growing up, Azhi really had friends with whom he had a good conversation, and there were more than one. Buy one get two free.At that time, I was not to mention how happy I was, and naturally I had a high opinion of Oda-kun and Ango-san.

After listening to what I said, the man said helplessly, "Don't just focus on the child."

The originally indifferent and imposing man couldn't help nagging at this moment, saying: "You should have your own life and social circle, you are independent, and the center of your world should be yourself. "

...This kind of worrying about me is also very similar to Aji.I couldn't help thinking in a trance.

Perhaps because he realized that his words were too intimate for the two strangers who were not familiar with them, the man paused, returned to the distance just now, and said calmly: "Sorry, I am troubled."

"Nothing," I said.

We both fell silent again.

After all, we are just two strangers, even if we meet because of a strange dream, it is impossible to become warm all of a sudden.That is to say, but I care about this man beyond the ordinary.

"Why don't you go to rest?" Although I knew that I was rude, but I don't know why I couldn't let go of this man who looks like Azhi, and said beyond the boundary: "If there is anything I can help ..."

"Why..." the man said with a smile, "Probably because it's easy to dream of nasty things when you sleep."

“…”

Obviously he was laughing, but it looked like he was going to cry in the next second.

"That must be a very, very annoying bad thing." I looked at him with extremely soft eyes and said softly.

The man was silent for a while, then nodded and said in a sad voice: "It's really, really annoying."

A feeling of sadness welled up in my heart.

Although I couldn't see the face clearly, and even the voice was indistinct to my ears, I also knew that I was facing a man in a high position, but I didn't know why, but I vaguely saw through him that he was lying on the bed back then. Unable to sleep, Ah Zhi curled up sleeping in the closet.

It seemed like yesterday to me. I woke up in the middle of the night and secretly tiptoed to his room because I was worried that he would catch cold from kicking the quilt while sleeping. When I entered the room, what I saw was not the sleeping face of a child but It was an empty bed.

Then I realized something, and opened the door of the closet beside the bed, and in the shabby, simple closet, I saw my little Azhi curled up and sleeping.

When I came back to my senses, I looked at the man in front of me, and a bold idea emerged in my mind.If it were me on weekdays, I would definitely not say it because of the etiquette and distance between people, but if I want to describe it now, it is irrational at all.

I asked, "Do you want to try to sleep in the closet first?"

"Huh?" The man made a blank voice.

I explained to him why I said this: "My son Aji couldn't fall asleep like you when he was young. He was able to fall asleep just by sleeping in the closet. I think you can try it too. .”

Although I don't think it's a good thing to sleep in the closet for a long time, after all, the closet is small and stuffy, but the biggest problem for this man now is not whether the sleeping wardrobe is good or not, but that he can't sleep.Even if the sleeping wardrobe is not good, you have to wait until you fall asleep.He looks so tired, I suspect he's going to die if he doesn't sleep for a while.

The man said dumbfoundedly: "I'm not a child. What's more, it's strange for adults to sleep in the closet, right?"

"It's not that only children can sleep in the closet." I muttered.

"That's the way it is said..." He sighed, as if troubled by how he should persuade me.

Being in a groggy state all the time, I didn't considerately skip this topic, but just said: "Besides, although you are an adult now, you were only a child once."

"According to you, the whole world is a child." The man said.

"You can say that if you really want to. Who is not a child." I said cheerfully: "In my opinion, you are just a child."

The man sighed and said, "If those people who died because of me heard what you said, they might crawl out of their coffins and ask you how I look like a child."

Saying this, he showed a frustrated expression as if he was defeated by me, and said, "Okay, let's try, shall we?"

The man muttered in his mouth: "Why do you have no sense of distance from me?"

This time I didn't miss it. I hummed a song that didn't make a tune, and said with a smirk: "Haha, why? Why exactly?"

Who knows why I can't let go of him?

The man looked at me, then turned his face away to change the subject, and said, "Let's go, go to the closet."

Being top-heavy, I supported my head and circled my surroundings—the room we were in was obviously an office, and there were only some luxurious and cold decorations in it. Atmospheric furniture.

Perhaps aware of my doubts, the man explained: "There is a wardrobe in the lounge next to the office."

I blinked and asked: "That is to say—even if you need to rest, you don't go home and sleep directly in the lounge next to the office?" This social animal level is really able to say "If you don't go to work, you don't have to go to work, If you don’t sleep, you don’t have to get up.” Mr. Ango compared.

"At least go home and sleep when you go to bed." I couldn't help nagging: "No wonder you can't fall asleep. If I work every day and have to sleep next to the office when I rest, I can't sleep. People want to sleep well To rest, you must at least have an independent, quiet and reassuring room to sleep in."

The man who couldn't stand my nagging said with a headache: "It's the same wherever you sleep, and are you my mother?"

After speaking, the man suddenly stopped.I didn't notice his pause, and just said: "If Azhi was like you, then I would nag hundreds of times more than I am now."

Then I couldn't help coughing dryly again, and said, "Of course, it seems that I don't have this trouble at the moment." Instead of worrying that Azhi will be like a social animal like the man in front of him, it's better to worry about whether he will skip work because of many times Was brutally beaten by Lord Zhongye.

The man didn't speak, he stood up from the chair, he seemed to call the woman named Xiaoyin to come in and say something, after she went out, he pressed the mechanism leading to the lounge from the office, and led me to the lounge .

I took a look at this so-called lounge. Rather than saying that it is used for people to sleep, it is better to say that it looks like a place for people to take a nap.After all, compared to the spacious and luxurious office next to it, this lounge is much smaller. The room is empty, with only a desk and chair, a bed with quilt and pillows, and a wardrobe that looks quite large.It is more like a place where prisoners usually stay than a place for people to rest.If people outside knew that this high-ranking man usually slept in such a place, they would be stunned and unbelievable.

"You usually sleep in this kind of place?" I asked, pointing to the bed in astonishment.

The man said indifferently: "I just come here to sleep for a while now and then."

Why do you feel more reassured?

I shook my head, went to the closet and opened the door—although the closet was quite large and looked sturdy, there were only a few black suits inside, and it looked a bit empty.I turned my head and said to the man: "Quick, come in and sleep for a while?"

Being in a fuzzy state of consciousness, I didn't even realize that there was any problem with letting a big man sleep in the closet. I just saw that the other party didn't respond, so I continued to shout: "Come on."

The man sighed helplessly, walked to the wardrobe and shrank in.Fortunately, this wardrobe of his is so big that even a grown man could fit it inside, and it would still be more than enough to wash his hands.The man huddled in the closet looked at me helplessly and said, "That's fine."

"Try it first. Come out if you feel uncomfortable." I said this, and closed the closet door after seeing the other nod.

I don't know how long it took, and when I was still thinking about when I would wake up from my dream, a low voice came from the closet.

"It still doesn't work, I can't sleep." The man's muffled voice came through the closet.

I blinked and asked, "Can I open the closet door?"

"..."

There was silence for a while, and then there was a man's response: "Yes."

After obtaining the consent of the other party, I opened the closet door. The originally dark inside was illuminated by the light from the outside because of the door opening. The tall and thin man curled up in the closet. The bandaged eye looked at me blankly.

"I can't sleep," he said.

I don't know why, but he doesn't have any expression on his face, it can even be said that he looks at me extremely coldly, but I feel that he looks very sad.

I thought about it, and carefully shrank back into the closet.

"Wait,?!" The man was frightened, he wanted to get up subconsciously, but I had already walked into the closet, and the closet made a harsh sound.The wardrobe is still quite strong, and it seems that it is not ready to collapse.

I asked the man to move first, while I sat on my knees in the closet.Looking at the bewildered man, I patted my thigh and said, "Should I sleep better this way?"

During the time when I helped Azhi fall asleep without using the closet, Azhi once fell asleep on my lap, and since then, for some reason, Azhi can sleep well even without going to sleep in the closet .

The man was stunned, and then asked with a smile: "May I sleep on Miss Ghost's lap? It's an honor, but can I touch you?"

"Should it be possible?" I don't think about it when I do things, and I haven't thought about this problem at this time, but anyway, I will try it first.I said, "You try it first? Or do you not like it?"

It is not surprising to say this.After all, my current appearance is shrouded in weird smoke, and my appearance still looks quite scary, so it's normal for him not to want to get close to me.

"...That's not the case." The man sighed, lay down and rested his head on my lap.

About 2 minutes later, the man closed his eyes but his whole body was still tense. He was as stiff as a rock.It made me feel a little helpless thinking how could I be able to sleep like this?

I thought about what I could do to calm his stiffness."May I touch your head?" I asked aloud.

The man froze for a moment, then responded in a low voice.

After getting the other party's consent, I reached out and stroked his soft hair, and said softly like comforting a scarred animal: "Good boy."

The man let out a suppressed exclamation, and almost couldn't help but want to stand up, and then forced himself to relax.

Seeing that he didn't resist too much, I hesitated and continued to stroke his head gently.

"Good boy."

"You've worked hard."

"You're doing really well, you're amazing, you're working really hard. You need to take a break every once in a while."

"Good boy."

"I'm proud of you."

"You really worked hard."

Because of my worries, although I couldn't fall asleep without a wardrobe, Azhi still tried hard to force himself to sleep well in bed.I also made a very hard effort for this. At that time, I looked at him who was lost and comforted him in this way.

I don't know if this method will work for this man.But I just tried my best to hope that he could have a good rest.

The man curled up, holding his hand tightly as if he couldn't bear it, and he said in an extremely suppressed, almost choked voice: "I'm not a child."

He is terribly thin.Originally wearing a black overcoat, it was not obvious, but now that he took off the overcoat, when he curled up, he was as thin as a skeleton.

Although he is tall, to me he is no different from the little Aji curled up in the closet when he was eight years old.

I said softly, "To me you are."

The man was speechless, and I just continued to stroke his head gently, humming the lullaby my mother sang to me a long time ago.

"My dear child, I hope you can sleep well, and those terrible things in your dreams will not appear..." I hope that those painful things will disappear, and only the things that can make you feel happy are left.

"My dear child..."

I was humming, and suddenly found that the man on my lap had fallen asleep unconsciously.He relaxed all over and let out a gentle breathing sound.

I couldn't help showing a soft look, and reached out to straighten the somewhat messy hair on his forehead.I stroked the corners of his drooping eyes and smiled helplessly.

"Sleeping is exactly like a child." I said in a whisper-like voice.

In this dark corner where no one has seen, this man who looks indifferent and high-ranking is curled up in my lap like a baby in a mother's womb.

The small, dark closet seemed to contain all the "things that shouldn't appear", which made the man let go of all the "should be".

I smoothed his brows and said softly, "Are you tired? At least take a good rest now."

"Good night, I hope you can have a good dream."