Be Dazai's mother

Time flies, I have changed from a newcomer who just came to the family's house to be a maid to an "old man" who has younger generations, and I will not be as flustered as I used to when facing chores in the family's house. After the juniors dealt with the mess, the housekeeper was quite satisfied with me and gave me a salary increase.

Now I am no longer afraid of offending someone and being squeezed out by other servants in Oba's family like I was in the beginning.

At the same time, the young master Ye Zang, who felt so small not long ago, has now turned into a very handsome boy. There is an indescribable pain and loneliness in him. The women who lived carefully, made them flock to Master Ye Zang's side like moths to a flame to seek comfort.

After a long time, he actually began to have a rudimentary form of a prodigal son. No matter who saw him, he would feel that this young man would definitely be a romantic man who is very popular with women when he grows up.

In school, Master Ye Zang, who had excellent grades and loved to tell jokes, was also very popular. He was always surrounded by countless people who made him laugh.

But compared to the unprincipled, joking and always comforting young master Ye Zang described by everyone, I know him as a child who would sit alone in the room and sigh.

I don't know if I really met me in the previous life. Master Ye Zang has an unexpected affection for me. It is not the obsession of adolescents with older women, but more like a child's dependence and attachment to his mother.

At first, he avoided me as if he wanted to deny this emotion, but he couldn't help but want to look at me a few times, until one day later, that is, I said to him: "No matter who you are, the pursuit of happiness is important. It’s a matter of course, after all, no one likes meaningless pain and despair, right?” On that night, Master Ye Zang seemed to have given up on something, and when night came, he would always give up and huddle alone in the room like before Moaning in pain, she turned to me for comfort.

Tonight, Master Ye Zang leaned his head on my lap as usual, curled up and cried like a baby.He was asleep, but even in his dreams he was bound by fear.

I know that Young Master Ye Zang doesn't have a good reputation outside, and he seems to have some unclear relationship with other maids at home, but to me, he is just a child who can cry at night.

I lowered my eyes and stretched out my hands to caress his head, stroking his soft hair gently like a real mother treats her own child.

Young Master Ye Zang never told me anything, he was just looking for a place where he could calm down.

I can make him feel at ease, and I am a woman who is good at keeping secrets, so he often comes to sleep with me, and we never have unnecessary conversations.

But today, Young Master Ye Zang seemed to be in a good mood, so that after he calmed down, he began to tell me some words.

"Sachiko." The red-haired boy, who was a little drowsy, showed me a shallow, slightly sleepy smile, and his golden eyes were like kintsuki left after broken porcelain was repaired. Looking at the incomplete and broken beauty, he said to me vaguely: "I want to try my best to become a 'normal person'."

"Ahh." I responded, continued to lower my eyes and gently stroke his hair, and said in an unbelievably soft voice like a raving: "Then do it, you can definitely do what you say."

After hearing this, Young Master Ye Zang made a sound that seemed to be crying or laughing, and he showed a satisfied expression as if he was forgiven, and said with hazy eyes: "I will work hard."

"You don't have to work too hard, it's fine as long as Aye is Aye." I used a more intimate address and said, "But if you want to work hard, I will always support you."

The drowsiness caused Young Master Ye Zang to reply vaguely, and fell asleep again in a daze.

Just when I thought the days would continue like this, the peace was easily shattered.

At this time, I happened to be in Master Ye Zang's room to help him clean the floor. In fact, he doesn't like others entering his room, which will make Master Ye Zang have the illusion of being violated.But he didn't know how to refuse, no matter how annoying he was, he didn't say anything about it, I still noticed this, and I took the initiative to stop helping Young Master Ye Zang clean the room.

Of course, when I was cleaning his room, I made sure that I would not touch other things in his room. I just swept the floor for a while and then went out.I know that Master Ye Zang will take care of the rest by himself.

On this day, I was cleaning the floor for Young Master Ye Zang as usual, but he suddenly ran home from school in a hurry, still wearing a black school uniform.

He definitely didn't intend to find anyone in the first place. People who want to seek help from others will not go straight into their room.But seeing me standing in his room, Master Ye Zang suddenly collapsed.

"Xingzi!" Young Master Ye Zang ran over stumblingly, and almost fell because of it.After I subconsciously supported him, Master Ye Zang quickly grabbed my hand as if he was begging for something.

When I heard his hurried footsteps in the room, I still wanted to welcome him. By the way, I would like to ask why Master Ye Zang came back so early today, but his appearance frightened me, and I couldn't help asking: "What happened?" What? Master Ye Zang."

If it was the past, Master Ye Zang would definitely stay in school for a while, but today, not only did he not stay in school for a while to communicate with other students, but he came back early, still in this distressed and panicked appearance, almost like Saw the scariest thing in the world.

Master Ye Zang held my hand tightly, with such force that it seemed as if he was going to tear my hand off. Master Ye Zang, who was completely driven crazy by fear, was panting violently, unconscious because of overbreathing. He pinched his own neck fiercely, his body began to twitch slightly, and his hands even had bruises.

Seeing Master Ye Zang's appearance, I didn't care to ask him anything, I hurriedly supported him, and wanted to call the doctor, but Master Ye Zang held my hand tightly and refused to allow me to leave to find a doctor.No matter how thin and small he is, he is already a teenager at this time, and the strength of an adult woman who is holding on to me while being overly frightened makes me really unable to break free, not to mention that I don't want to struggle too hard, I was afraid that I would hurt Young Master Ye Zang if I was not careful.

I tried to comfort him: "Master Ye Zang, I'll find a doctor for you, can you let go first? Don't be afraid, I will be back soon."

Young Master Ye Zang kept shaking his head, only then did I realize that his face was covered with tears.

"We've been discovered." Young Master Ye Zang looked at me with eyes full of horror, his voice was so weak that it wouldn't be surprising if it disappeared into the air in the next second, he said in panic, "What to do, Sachiko? What to do? "

Master Ye Zang didn't tell me exactly what was discovered, and he never told me about it.But I intuitively realized what had been discovered—the true face of being a clown to make others laugh.

Master Ye Zang was like a frightened little animal, and he was not bold enough to tell me his inner fear unscrupulously. This was just a subconscious plea for help when the drowned saw someone passing by.If Master Ye Zang was sober now, he would definitely stay away from me, but he is not now.

The current Young Master Ye Zang is just a child who is at a loss and afraid of something.

With his eyes closed and tears streaming down his face, he said in despair, "I don't want to be the protagonist of the tragedy. I clearly think that I will work hard!"

"Would it be a wrong and ridiculous thing to want to be happy?" Saying this, Master Ye Zang retched as if he was in extreme despair. After retching several times in a row, he couldn't vomit anything , his stomach was more like burning, which intensified his pain.

Young Master Ye Zang opened his eyes wide, tears fell from his sockets, and said in a trembling voice: "...Because I am not worthy of being a human being?"

"Of course not!" I was afraid that he would continue to deny himself, so I grabbed his cheeks with both hands, trying to convey my words to him: "No one can deny your efforts to become a human being, I know you have already Worked hard!"

Young Master Ye Zang froze for a moment, and sat limply on the ground as if he had lost all his strength, panting violently.

I squatted down and held his hand tightly, and said cautiously: "Maybe you are too tired? As I said before, you don't need to work too hard. It's fine as long as you are Aye. I know you are a Gentle child, so sometimes you may suppress yourself too much, why not take advantage of this time to relax? I remember that there seems to be a new book that you will be interested in recently on the bookstore, why don't you read the book first?"

I kept talking, trying to appease the terrified Young Master Ye Zang, but he was staring blankly at the ground as if he was looking at something—it looked like he was looking at the darkness and fear deep in his heart.

It took a long time for Young Master Ye Zang to come back to his senses, and he raised his head and stared at me with those eyes that were about to cry.

It is impossible for Young Master Ye Zang to collapse suddenly. He said a few days ago that he wanted to work hard, so something must have happened or someone said something to him.

"Did someone say something to you?" I asked worriedly.

Master Ye Zang was silent for a long time, he seemed to be hesitating whether to talk to me, but I just held his hand tightly, looked at him with tolerant eyes, and told him that no matter whether he said it or not, I would respect his choice .

Young Master Ye Zang opened his mouth and said, "A strange person told me the ending of this 'book'."

Young Master Ye Zang suddenly said some inexplicable words, he covered his head, and said with a painful expression: "Oba Ye Zang as the protagonist—"I" will gradually degenerate, no matter how hard I struggle, it will be useless, until I am finally defeated. Completely put an end to disqualification in the world."

"This is a hopeless book." Young Master Ye Zang covered his face and kept crying, "I don't want to end up in a doomed tragedy like this. I have really worked hard."

"Why, why, why..." He kept asking why, choking and crying like a newborn baby, as if he was questioning God, questioning destiny and himself: "I clearly want to You have to work hard to live, you obviously want to work hard to become a person."

I couldn't understand what he was saying, but an inexplicable instinct made me let Young Master Ye Zang lean on my lap like before, and stretched out my hand to gently stroke his hair to calm his frightened emotions.

"It's okay, it's okay." I coaxed softly, "Everything will be fine."

"It will be fine."

When I said this, my throat was extremely dry and stinging, and I felt as thirsty as if I had been in the desert for several days.Even a dull person like me knows how flimsy and insignificant these words are, and there is no way to comfort Young Master Ye Zang.

But I really don't know what to do. Young master Ye Zang has deep vortex, this terrible black vortex is the pain given to him by the whole world, he struggles in this vortex and is swallowed by darkness, and I Nothing can be done.

I felt intense sadness, and the grief in my heart made me reach out and hug Young Master Ye Zang.

I am really useless, I thought so, hugging him with tears.

Perhaps it was the subconscious habit brought by me when I fell asleep in the past, but Master Ye Zang calmed down slowly, and fell asleep leaning against my side.

Looking at the peaceful sleeping face of Young Master Ye Zang, I couldn't help but sighed and calmed down, and reached out to wipe away the tears on my face.

I don't know exactly what Young Master Ye Zang's words mean just now.It is also nonsense to me to gradually degenerate until I am marked as disqualified in the world.

Obviously, in my eyes, Master Ye Zang has always been that gentle, hard-working, god-like good boy.

I felt strongly disturbed by what he said just now, and I always felt that Young Master Ye Zang would do something irreversible if he continued like this.I think I should do something, but I don't know how to do it.

With such uneasiness and doubts in my arms, I unconsciously lay on the side, and gradually fell asleep.

...

...

...

So painful.

So painful.

It felt like someone was pinching his own neck.

The pain of not being able to breathe made me struggle to wake up from my sleep. The room was pitch black, and the outside world had already fallen into darkness, and the silence was terrifying.

When I opened my eyes, I found that the murderer who caused me to suffocate and suffer was Master Ye Zang.

The red-haired boy knelt on me expressionlessly, stretched out his pale hand and strangled my neck tightly, his empty golden eyes seemed to be suppressing the darkness that is far from being touched by ordinary people terrible.His black school uniform was stained with blood, and there was a vague smell of blood in the air.

Out of the instinct of survival, I stretched out my hand and struggled vigorously, trying to get rid of this suffocating pain.

But the expressionless Young Master Ye Zang tightened his hand instead, and pinched my neck forcefully.

He wanted to kill me - I was well aware of it.

But why?

Why do you, who want to kill me, show such a sad expression?

Master Ye Zang was panting violently as if he was struggling with something in this world and this society, and he couldn't restrain his dry and desperate sobs like a dying person's.

He laughed lowly, but that laughter was accompanied by a few broken whimpers.

——Why do you have such an expression as if you killed yourself instead of me.

Looking at Young Master Ye Zang in such pain, I, who was on the verge of death, couldn't feel any fear for some reason.Obviously I am so afraid of death, so eager to live, but when I am about to be killed by Young Master Ye Zang, I am not afraid at all.

As for what would scare me—ah, if he killed me, how much pain would Master Ye Zang be in, and where would he fall into the abyss?

And what dreadful shadows and darkness will swallow this child, this child whom I value?

Just thinking about it makes me tremble with fear.Therefore, I must not let him kill me here.

"Ye," I trembled, and made a difficult sound with my tightly strangled neck: "Zang,"

Ignoring his hand that continued to pinch my neck, I stretched out my hand to Master Ye Zang with all my strength. When the other party thought he was about to be attacked and subconsciously closed his eyes to dodge, I wrapped my arms around his back She hugged him vaguely.

——Master.

——Master Ye Zang.

Don't show such a sad expression, my most important, most important ■■ master.

Being strangled by the neck and in a state of suffocation and dying, I really couldn't use my strength, so I could only put my hands on his back in a hug gesture, but Master Ye Zang didn't seem to be hugged by me. Instead, it twitched as if I had stabbed it into the heart with a knife.

There was a look of despair and pain mixed on his face, he subconsciously let go of his hand, grabbed his face and showed an expression of disbelief.

When the other party let go of my neck because of fright, I turned my head away and coughed violently because of my body instinct.The sound of coughing pulled the frozen Master Ye Zang back from his trance.

Master Ye Zang trembled and covered his face, as if he just realized what he had just done, he uttered a mournful cry, stood up, stumbled and ran outside again.

"Master Ye, Master Zang!" I couldn't help but reach out to his back while clutching my neck, but because of the pain in my neck, my voice was extremely weak, and even the hand that wanted to reach out to Master Ye Zang seemed extremely weak. powerless.

Master Ye Zang ignored my feeble calling, and just ran away on his own.

There was a horrible bruise around my neck, and the burning pain from there made me cough several times, which made the pain worse, and I couldn't help shaking several times.

I took a few breaths, stood up a little limply, and ran outside staggeringly, but what I saw outside made me widen my eyes in fright.

The house I am familiar with is full of blood, and there is a strong smell of blood everywhere. Everything seems to be silently telling what kind of tragedy happened here just now.

...Did Master Ye Zang do all of these?

I remembered what Young Master Ye Zang said to me this afternoon. Someone told him that this book is a doomed tragedy, and that as the protagonist Oba Ye Zang, he will completely go to the end of disqualification in the world.

——So, he wanted to make a change.

But is this change really a good thing?

I think of the young master Ye Zang who made funny tricks in front of everyone and made others laugh, I think of the young master Ye Zang who curled up crying in the night, I think of the young master Ye Zang who just strangled my neck and wanted to kill me, but he uttered a scream Young master Ye Zang screamed.

What should I do?What should I do to help that child?

Just when I was in a trance, I heard footsteps not far away. Judging from the sound, it was probably the footsteps of a child.

Why do children appear at this time?

"Sachiko!" Someone called my name.

I subconsciously turned my head back, only to find that it was an extremely thin child who looked about four or five years old. Although I didn’t know this child, I felt a softness in my heart when I saw him for some reason. Emotions.

The familiar yet unfamiliar child ran over, grabbed my hand tightly as if treating his most precious thing and said.

"Found you, Sachiko!"