To my dear senior sister
Chapter 74 Self-blame
"Okay, I don't want to go, that's it." After Wen Lian finished speaking, he hung up the phone, let out a long breath, leaned on the railing of the balcony with both hands, and looked at the green hills in the distance.
Now that the family has been settled, all I need to do is hide it from my senior sister.
She thought she could relax, but she didn't expect that when she took a breath and turned to go back, she saw someone she least wanted to see.
Gu Xianxi stood in the living room, his figure was half immersed in the darkness, and Wen Lian was only separated by a glass door, but the two of them seemed to be far away from each other.
"Senior sister..." Wen Lian took a step back in surprise and called out falteringly.
Gu Xianxi looked at Wen Lian with incredulous and somewhat sad eyes, and asked word by word: "Where are you going, Wen Lian?"
Wen Lian was stunned for a while, his breathing became rapid, and he spread his hands pretending to be calm and said, "Aren't I right here?"
"Don't lie to me." Gu Xianxi said in a low voice with mist in his eyes.
It seemed that the matter could not be concealed, Wen clenched his fists and bit his lower lip, feeling stuffy in his heart, as if a stone was stuck in his throat, he raised his head and asked in a stammering voice, "How long have you been standing here?"
"I've heard it all."
Wen Lian forced a smile, blinked unnaturally, and said in a calm tone: "It's nothing, the counselor asked me to go to exchange students, I don't want to go, they all say that foreign countries are better, so is the moon in foreign countries better than the moon?" Is it a Chinese circle?"
Gu Xianxi doesn't want to discuss with her whether the moon in foreign countries is round or not, her heart is already in a mess, she just wants to know the most critical answer.
With tears in his eyes, Gu Xianxi asked feebly, "Am I really blocking your future as Chang Luo said?"
She never took Chang Luo's words to heart, but now, the reality is in front of her!
"No!" Wen Lian knew that she had misunderstood, and eagerly wanted to explain: "No! No! This is my own choice and has nothing to do with you!"
"Then why did you give up?..." Gu Xianxi took a breath and asked.
What reason should I use to convince Senior Sister? !Wen Lian was so flustered that he didn't know what to do, his eyes rolled around, but he didn't dare to look at Gu Xianxi.
In the end she still came up with the lameest excuse, "I just don't want to go..."
Gu Xianxi shook his head slowly.She knew Wen Lian, if it wasn't for herself, she would definitely go!
Wen Lian decided to retreat first, and said to Gu Xianxi in a deliberative tone, "Shall we all calm down now?"
Gu Xianxi remained silent.Wen Lian had no choice but to continue talking by herself, she pursed her dry lips, slowly approached Gu Xianxi and said, "Listen to me."
"I may not be selected if I go. Isn't that embarrassing?"
"Your grades are okay."
"Overseas is a strange place. You also know that my English is not good. If you don't understand what they say..." Wen Lian just walked up to Gu Xianxi when he said this sentence.
At this time, Gu Xianxi also calmed down, she raised her head, faced Wen Lian's eyes, and said, "You can learn."
Wen Lian listened to the reasons he finally came up with, and Gu Xianxi refuted them one by one, and asked with a wry smile: "Why do you have to go?!"
"If you go abroad, you can get more learning opportunities!" Gu Xianxi listed the reasons why she should go abroad one by one, "And if you go out and come back again, your status will be different. You will get more respect !"
What Gu Xianxi said was indeed true, Wen Lian nodded in approval.
"In China, undergraduates, masters, doctors, and regular training can only be studied step by step. You know how many years it will take!" Gu Xianxi spoke faster and faster at the end, she hoped that Wen Lian could understand what she meant, "and You go abroad, as long as you have the opportunity and ability, you can skip these directly."
Wen Lian continued to nod, she had thought about what Gu Xianxi said.It was because she had considered all these issues that she made the final decision.
Apart from his own reasons, Gu Xianxi couldn't think of any reason for Wen Lian to give up this opportunity.She blamed herself more and more in her heart, but she had finished all she could say. Seeing Wen Lian's perfunctory attitude, she became angry, and she turned around and walked out the door.
Whether it is to stabilize her emotions, or to express to Wen Lian that she will never compromise if she does not go abroad, leaving at this time is the best choice.
Wen Lian waited for her to walk out of the door before reacting, and hurriedly chased after her.
When going out, there is only a gap left when the elevator door is closed.
Wen Lian didn't even bother to put on her shoes, so she jumped out, trying to make the elevator stop, but she still missed by a second, and could only watch helplessly as the elevator descended from the fourth floor to the first floor.
After she put on her shoes, she disliked the elevator coming too slowly and ran down the stairwell.
After coming downstairs, I saw Gu Xianxi wiping tears while walking from a distance.She didn't expect that she would make her senior sister cry. At that moment, she wished she could slash herself a thousand times.
Quickly chasing after her, Wen Lian stopped in front of Gu Xianxi, not letting her go on, begging for mercy: "Senior sister, don't cry, I was wrong!" Seeing her red and swollen eyes from crying, her heart felt like a knife twist.
Gu Xianxi doesn't want to see her at all now, she lowers her head to wipe away her tears, and turns in one direction to avoid Wen Lian.
Wen Lian stood in front of her again, "Sister, I'm sorry!" Gu Xianxi pushed her aside, determined to leave.
"I can reconsider the matter of going abroad, but don't leave now, okay?" Wen Lian held her back and begged in a low voice.
Gu Xianxi heard that she showed signs of repentance, so she stopped for a while.
Seeing the opportunity, Wen Lian hurriedly expressed his thoughts, "In China, no matter whether you go out to work as soon as you graduate, or continue your studies, you will not be too far away from you. Although... it may be a long time, but This... is pretty good too. Why do you have to go abroad?"
Gu Xianxi raised the hand that was held by her, and said to Shang Wen Lian's eyes word by word: "If you think so, Wen Lian, I look down on you!" Then she shook Wen Lian's hand away .
Before she could walk a certain distance, she heard Wen Lian shouting heartbreakingly behind her: "But I don't want to leave you, you should also consider my feelings!"
Gu Xianxi sank, stopped and turned around, confronting her: "If you don't leave, I will feel guilty and think it's my fault, do you understand?"
"I don't understand! I don't even want to understand... But, for you, I am willing to do things I don't want to do!" Wen Lian clenched his fists tightly and said hoarsely.
Gu Xianxi's tears, which had just been suppressed, welled up again.Opening her mouth, she said with difficulty: "What if I force you to go abroad?!"
After being silent for a long time, Wen Lian finally said two words.
"I'll go!" Yes, she gave in.
Although Wen Lian had been persuaded, Gu Xianxi didn't know why the tears couldn't stop streaming down his face, he stood motionless and looked at Wen Lian who was some distance away from him.
But, for you, I am willing to do things I don't want to do.
Wen Lian, I am willing too.Including...leaving you.
After Wen Lian figured it out by himself, other things would be settled easily.
The so-called selection is just a formality.With Wen Lian's counselor, Song Yuanju's support, and Wen Lian's own efforts, she is the only one who gets the chance to go abroad.
The matter of going abroad was quickly arranged, all the materials that should be submitted were submitted, and the things that should be prepared were also prepared.
Wen Lian can go abroad just waiting for the documents approved by the other school to be sent back.
But she still has some things to attend to.
"Health depends on life.
When I step into the holy medical school, I solemnly swear:
I voluntarily dedicate myself to medicine, love the motherland, be loyal to the people, and abide by medical ethics...
I am determined to do my best to eliminate the sufferings of mankind...to save lives and heal the wounded...for the development of the medical and health cause of the motherland and the physical and mental health of mankind for the rest of my life. "
When Wen Lian read this passage of "Medical Student Oath" again, he still couldn't help but feel excited.
In order to let these students who go abroad as exchange students not forget their roots and always remember that the motherland behind them needs them, the school specially held the ceremony of swearing to the red cross flag that they held when they first entered school.
After Wen Lian took the oath, she recited the oath several times in private, just like the first time she read it.
She thought, whether it was for the people of the country or for herself.After putting on this white coat, she has never regretted it.
Although she will be away from the motherland for a while soon, she will return soon.
I hope that by then, I can make a little contribution to the country.
Song Yuanju asked her to stay abroad if she had the chance, and not to come back, that was simply impossible.
She folded the white coat neatly and put it in the suitcase.
Gu Xianxi walked in from the outside, glanced at her suitcase and asked, "Have you packed it?"
Wen Lian raised his head, glanced around the closet, and said happily, "It's almost there." He straightened up, looked at Gu Xianxi and asked, "What's wrong?"
Gu Xianxi sat down by the bed, pursed her lips and shook her head: "It's nothing, I just came in to have a look, is there anything I can do for you?"
She had a complex look on her face, her eyes followed Wen Lian's movement, as if she wanted to see through the person in front of her, and then keep it in her heart.
But Wen Lian, who was busy, didn't notice...
"No, I'll be fine soon." Wen said without raising his head.
Gu Xianxi had a complex expression on his face, his eyes followed Wen Lian's movement, as if he wanted to see enough of the person in front of him, see through, and then keep it in his heart, but Wen Lian, who was busy, didn't notice it.
After Wen Lian finished his work, he also sat on the edge of the bed, spread his arms, and took a tired breath.Leaning back, he fell directly onto the bed.
Gu Xianxi asked, "Are you leaving tomorrow morning?"
Wen Lian, who was exhausted like a dead dog, shook his head and said, "No, at least I will help you carry your luggage back to the dormitory before leaving." Because she was worried that Gu Xianxi would live here alone, she was asked to move back to school Living.
"Tonight is the last night of staying here, I can't bear it!" Wen Lian tilted his head, touched the pillow next to his head and said that penicillin jumped up from the bed and slipped into Gu Xianxi's arms.
Gu Xianxi stroked its furry head with his hands, and asked, "What about the penicillin?"...
Now that the family has been settled, all I need to do is hide it from my senior sister.
She thought she could relax, but she didn't expect that when she took a breath and turned to go back, she saw someone she least wanted to see.
Gu Xianxi stood in the living room, his figure was half immersed in the darkness, and Wen Lian was only separated by a glass door, but the two of them seemed to be far away from each other.
"Senior sister..." Wen Lian took a step back in surprise and called out falteringly.
Gu Xianxi looked at Wen Lian with incredulous and somewhat sad eyes, and asked word by word: "Where are you going, Wen Lian?"
Wen Lian was stunned for a while, his breathing became rapid, and he spread his hands pretending to be calm and said, "Aren't I right here?"
"Don't lie to me." Gu Xianxi said in a low voice with mist in his eyes.
It seemed that the matter could not be concealed, Wen clenched his fists and bit his lower lip, feeling stuffy in his heart, as if a stone was stuck in his throat, he raised his head and asked in a stammering voice, "How long have you been standing here?"
"I've heard it all."
Wen Lian forced a smile, blinked unnaturally, and said in a calm tone: "It's nothing, the counselor asked me to go to exchange students, I don't want to go, they all say that foreign countries are better, so is the moon in foreign countries better than the moon?" Is it a Chinese circle?"
Gu Xianxi doesn't want to discuss with her whether the moon in foreign countries is round or not, her heart is already in a mess, she just wants to know the most critical answer.
With tears in his eyes, Gu Xianxi asked feebly, "Am I really blocking your future as Chang Luo said?"
She never took Chang Luo's words to heart, but now, the reality is in front of her!
"No!" Wen Lian knew that she had misunderstood, and eagerly wanted to explain: "No! No! This is my own choice and has nothing to do with you!"
"Then why did you give up?..." Gu Xianxi took a breath and asked.
What reason should I use to convince Senior Sister? !Wen Lian was so flustered that he didn't know what to do, his eyes rolled around, but he didn't dare to look at Gu Xianxi.
In the end she still came up with the lameest excuse, "I just don't want to go..."
Gu Xianxi shook his head slowly.She knew Wen Lian, if it wasn't for herself, she would definitely go!
Wen Lian decided to retreat first, and said to Gu Xianxi in a deliberative tone, "Shall we all calm down now?"
Gu Xianxi remained silent.Wen Lian had no choice but to continue talking by herself, she pursed her dry lips, slowly approached Gu Xianxi and said, "Listen to me."
"I may not be selected if I go. Isn't that embarrassing?"
"Your grades are okay."
"Overseas is a strange place. You also know that my English is not good. If you don't understand what they say..." Wen Lian just walked up to Gu Xianxi when he said this sentence.
At this time, Gu Xianxi also calmed down, she raised her head, faced Wen Lian's eyes, and said, "You can learn."
Wen Lian listened to the reasons he finally came up with, and Gu Xianxi refuted them one by one, and asked with a wry smile: "Why do you have to go?!"
"If you go abroad, you can get more learning opportunities!" Gu Xianxi listed the reasons why she should go abroad one by one, "And if you go out and come back again, your status will be different. You will get more respect !"
What Gu Xianxi said was indeed true, Wen Lian nodded in approval.
"In China, undergraduates, masters, doctors, and regular training can only be studied step by step. You know how many years it will take!" Gu Xianxi spoke faster and faster at the end, she hoped that Wen Lian could understand what she meant, "and You go abroad, as long as you have the opportunity and ability, you can skip these directly."
Wen Lian continued to nod, she had thought about what Gu Xianxi said.It was because she had considered all these issues that she made the final decision.
Apart from his own reasons, Gu Xianxi couldn't think of any reason for Wen Lian to give up this opportunity.She blamed herself more and more in her heart, but she had finished all she could say. Seeing Wen Lian's perfunctory attitude, she became angry, and she turned around and walked out the door.
Whether it is to stabilize her emotions, or to express to Wen Lian that she will never compromise if she does not go abroad, leaving at this time is the best choice.
Wen Lian waited for her to walk out of the door before reacting, and hurriedly chased after her.
When going out, there is only a gap left when the elevator door is closed.
Wen Lian didn't even bother to put on her shoes, so she jumped out, trying to make the elevator stop, but she still missed by a second, and could only watch helplessly as the elevator descended from the fourth floor to the first floor.
After she put on her shoes, she disliked the elevator coming too slowly and ran down the stairwell.
After coming downstairs, I saw Gu Xianxi wiping tears while walking from a distance.She didn't expect that she would make her senior sister cry. At that moment, she wished she could slash herself a thousand times.
Quickly chasing after her, Wen Lian stopped in front of Gu Xianxi, not letting her go on, begging for mercy: "Senior sister, don't cry, I was wrong!" Seeing her red and swollen eyes from crying, her heart felt like a knife twist.
Gu Xianxi doesn't want to see her at all now, she lowers her head to wipe away her tears, and turns in one direction to avoid Wen Lian.
Wen Lian stood in front of her again, "Sister, I'm sorry!" Gu Xianxi pushed her aside, determined to leave.
"I can reconsider the matter of going abroad, but don't leave now, okay?" Wen Lian held her back and begged in a low voice.
Gu Xianxi heard that she showed signs of repentance, so she stopped for a while.
Seeing the opportunity, Wen Lian hurriedly expressed his thoughts, "In China, no matter whether you go out to work as soon as you graduate, or continue your studies, you will not be too far away from you. Although... it may be a long time, but This... is pretty good too. Why do you have to go abroad?"
Gu Xianxi raised the hand that was held by her, and said to Shang Wen Lian's eyes word by word: "If you think so, Wen Lian, I look down on you!" Then she shook Wen Lian's hand away .
Before she could walk a certain distance, she heard Wen Lian shouting heartbreakingly behind her: "But I don't want to leave you, you should also consider my feelings!"
Gu Xianxi sank, stopped and turned around, confronting her: "If you don't leave, I will feel guilty and think it's my fault, do you understand?"
"I don't understand! I don't even want to understand... But, for you, I am willing to do things I don't want to do!" Wen Lian clenched his fists tightly and said hoarsely.
Gu Xianxi's tears, which had just been suppressed, welled up again.Opening her mouth, she said with difficulty: "What if I force you to go abroad?!"
After being silent for a long time, Wen Lian finally said two words.
"I'll go!" Yes, she gave in.
Although Wen Lian had been persuaded, Gu Xianxi didn't know why the tears couldn't stop streaming down his face, he stood motionless and looked at Wen Lian who was some distance away from him.
But, for you, I am willing to do things I don't want to do.
Wen Lian, I am willing too.Including...leaving you.
After Wen Lian figured it out by himself, other things would be settled easily.
The so-called selection is just a formality.With Wen Lian's counselor, Song Yuanju's support, and Wen Lian's own efforts, she is the only one who gets the chance to go abroad.
The matter of going abroad was quickly arranged, all the materials that should be submitted were submitted, and the things that should be prepared were also prepared.
Wen Lian can go abroad just waiting for the documents approved by the other school to be sent back.
But she still has some things to attend to.
"Health depends on life.
When I step into the holy medical school, I solemnly swear:
I voluntarily dedicate myself to medicine, love the motherland, be loyal to the people, and abide by medical ethics...
I am determined to do my best to eliminate the sufferings of mankind...to save lives and heal the wounded...for the development of the medical and health cause of the motherland and the physical and mental health of mankind for the rest of my life. "
When Wen Lian read this passage of "Medical Student Oath" again, he still couldn't help but feel excited.
In order to let these students who go abroad as exchange students not forget their roots and always remember that the motherland behind them needs them, the school specially held the ceremony of swearing to the red cross flag that they held when they first entered school.
After Wen Lian took the oath, she recited the oath several times in private, just like the first time she read it.
She thought, whether it was for the people of the country or for herself.After putting on this white coat, she has never regretted it.
Although she will be away from the motherland for a while soon, she will return soon.
I hope that by then, I can make a little contribution to the country.
Song Yuanju asked her to stay abroad if she had the chance, and not to come back, that was simply impossible.
She folded the white coat neatly and put it in the suitcase.
Gu Xianxi walked in from the outside, glanced at her suitcase and asked, "Have you packed it?"
Wen Lian raised his head, glanced around the closet, and said happily, "It's almost there." He straightened up, looked at Gu Xianxi and asked, "What's wrong?"
Gu Xianxi sat down by the bed, pursed her lips and shook her head: "It's nothing, I just came in to have a look, is there anything I can do for you?"
She had a complex look on her face, her eyes followed Wen Lian's movement, as if she wanted to see through the person in front of her, and then keep it in her heart.
But Wen Lian, who was busy, didn't notice...
"No, I'll be fine soon." Wen said without raising his head.
Gu Xianxi had a complex expression on his face, his eyes followed Wen Lian's movement, as if he wanted to see enough of the person in front of him, see through, and then keep it in his heart, but Wen Lian, who was busy, didn't notice it.
After Wen Lian finished his work, he also sat on the edge of the bed, spread his arms, and took a tired breath.Leaning back, he fell directly onto the bed.
Gu Xianxi asked, "Are you leaving tomorrow morning?"
Wen Lian, who was exhausted like a dead dog, shook his head and said, "No, at least I will help you carry your luggage back to the dormitory before leaving." Because she was worried that Gu Xianxi would live here alone, she was asked to move back to school Living.
"Tonight is the last night of staying here, I can't bear it!" Wen Lian tilted his head, touched the pillow next to his head and said that penicillin jumped up from the bed and slipped into Gu Xianxi's arms.
Gu Xianxi stroked its furry head with his hands, and asked, "What about the penicillin?"...
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