Religious Faith

If you only smoke once, you can quit by gritting your teeth.But they didn't let me go, they even confiscated my mobile phone.

I was tied to the bed, and Ah Song was watching me, and would give me the injection when the time came.

I don't want to see him, but only what he brings gives me happiness.But I would rather feel uncomfortable than die than see him! !I passed it by myself, but as the number of times increased, it became more and more difficult to quit.When his needle stuck into my blood vessel, I slowly closed my eyes and wept...

When I am calm, hatred always fills my heart, but when I am depressed, the pleasure it brings fills my nerves all over my body. When I calm down again, I only have more hatred, and the hatred seeps into my bones.

I said to myself, I will definitely kill him.

A murderous plan was formed in my head, and I would do it if I had the chance.

First Zhao Hongxian, then Ah Song...

……

After ten days, I was released.

When I got home, Heizi was sitting on the sofa eating melon seeds and watching TV, and he was startled when he saw me.

"Where did you go!" He hurriedly dropped the melon seeds in his hand and walked towards me quickly: "Where you went will definitely tell me, even I don't know, and Li Ge must not know, but he actually You didn't even ask me where you went! I asked people to look for you, but there was no result."

I sneered in my heart, Zhao Hongxian has shot, his purpose is to destroy me, so will he let you find it?

"What's wrong with you? You look so bad..."

"It's okay, I played with them for ten days." I didn't intend to tell him what I went through, let alone my plan.My plans are best known only to me.

"Fuck...so fierce...you can come back alive." Heizi rubbed his arms, his voice dry.

"What are you thinking, I will definitely pay attention." I smiled.

"But I think..." Heizi narrowed his eyes lightly and said, "I really think it's not like this if you do too much...you...have taken drugs."

"No." I sighed and asked him, "Is there anything to eat for me? I'm starving."

Heizi cooked a pack of instant noodles for me, and I went back to the bedroom to hide the things that should be hidden.I actually asked someone in the aisle to get me some of these before I got back, or I was afraid I'd give away when I was crazy at home.

After eating, I went to take a shower, guessing it was time for the injection, so I went into the bathroom with the needle and medicine.

After I went in, I locked the door, took out the drugs, and strangled my arm with a rubber band, and the blue-purple blood vessels appeared immediately.There was still a needle hole on my arm from the previous few times, I smiled, and then pushed the contents of the syringe into the blood vessel...

It was that familiar feeling again... Incomparable happiness, incomparable sinking.It felt like sinking into a swamp, and there was a soft and silky ribbon wrapped around my body in the filthy mud as I continued to sink... What did I see?The huge lotus rhizome beside me is deeply rooted in the mud. I seem to see its holy petal pavilion in the dark forest, blooming in the middle of the filthy swamp, and the suffering and evil in the ten directions cannot force back its pure light. .

I continue to indulge in...

To, the deepest part of the Marsh Sea... Maybe that's when I die.

In this kind of circle, if you get addicted to drugs, you can't quit. On the contrary, I will have more and more drug friends. This is inevitable, because they all know that I take drugs, and if I don't smoke with them, I will lose face.I have to give this face.But as for how they know about this matter... Hehe, this is self-promotion.Thanks to them, my new circle has been opened, and I can eat more and more here.

Heizi also knew about my drug use. He used to ice skate, but only a few times, and the time was too long, and he stopped doing it after he had a backer, because that person didn't like it.Everyone knew this, so no one forced him to smoke.There used to be that kind of ignorant person who forced him to play together, but there was no news of that person after a week.

He asked me, "Why?"

"...No reason." I packed up the needle tube, pushed him away, and walked outside.

He grabbed me and rolled up my sleeves. The dense needle holes on my arms were shocking.

I took my hand back and said, "...sorry, leave me alone."

As time goes by, the things I want are more and more pure, and the things I play with them are also more and more.I thought about quitting, and I tried.But when the drug addiction strikes, the body is like thousands of ants biting, and the bone-eating pain that goes deep into the bone marrow cannot be described in words.My nose and tears flowed all over my face. I kept telling myself that I would pass it if I endured it... But the next second, someone came in and said, "Brother Wen, are you alright?" Seeing this, he rushed to give me an injection A shot was taken.

I said hoarsely: "Thank you..." Then I washed my face and put on a smile and went to play with them in the box.play anything.

After doing that to me, Zhao Hongxian never came here again.So I've been waiting, waiting for him to come.

I drank heavily, took drugs, smoked, and was drunk day and night.I looked more and more haggard, thinner and thinner, my voice became hoarse, and my memory began to deteriorate.Sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror, I will be in a trance for a moment, is this me?

I didn't believe it, and smashed the mirror to pieces.More of me were reflected in the shards of the mirror, and my blood spilled on the mirror, red and dazzling.

I want to believe... this is me...

I forgot how long I hadn't seen him.Since what happened last time, I transferred him to another hospital and found an acquaintance who registered with my ID card in my name.Then I never saw him again.

I dare not look at him, and I don't know how to face him... Maybe he is the flower crown in my hallucination, and I am the root of the lotus flower buried in the mud.We live and die together, but he will always stand at a height beyond my reach. I am not even worthy to say his name, nor worthy to say that I love him.

But I really love him, really love him...

My stomach started to have trouble again, and once I was doing it with a customer named Ge, and I actually vomited blood.Mr. Ge is in business, and he is actually a very honest person, but that time he came here with his friends because of business problems, and he liked me like a wrong brain, and he liked me very much.Although it is very expensive to order me once, he is very willing to spend money.

"What's wrong with you?" He hurriedly followed me to the bathroom, I curled up on the toilet and vomited blood, the long-lost stomach pain came back.

I shook my head, and he wanted to help me up: "Don't throw up here, the toilet is full of bacteria."

I laughed when I heard the words, and thought to myself: Do I still think the toilet is dirty?

Although I repeatedly emphasized that I was fine, he still insisted on taking me to the hospital, and asked someone to register for me, giving priority to treatment.After the inspection, he suddenly said to me: "Ah Wen, don't do it, can you belong to me alone?"

I looked at him, smiled slightly, and said, "You can't afford me."

"I can."

I laughed and said, "Do you know how much I spend on drugs every day?"

"If you want, I will accompany you to quit."

I pushed him away and said, "...don't be naive."

He later came to see me and asked me to find a friend of his who was a Chinese medicine doctor.He wanted to help me recuperate, so he had no choice but to go there, but he couldn't accompany me that day.

I remember that Chinese medicine doctor said something to me, and the content seemed to be like this.No matter how much conditioner you use for a damaged hair, it can't change the dry, yellow and frizzy phenomenon. There is only one way to make it better, and that is to cut off all sources of damage, and then adjust both internally and externally.

I'm that hair, and if I'm going to get better, then I'm going to quit smoking, drinking, and most importantly, drugs and prostitution.

I smiled and said to him: "Thank you." When I got out of the hospital, I looked at the prescription he gave me, rubbed it casually and threw it into the trash can.

The author has something to say: There is one more chapter today, I will hurry up and write it.

It is estimated that Brother Xian will die in the next chapter, but how did he die?Will others find out who did it?Can Jiang Cheng retreat completely?

Ask for votes, comments, and receipts, okay!