Religious Faith

You said, how could there be so many tears at that time?

"I know I'm wrong, don't drive me away, can you?"

He asked softly, "How old are you?"

"eighteen."

"Eighteen..." he repeated, and then murmured: "What a good age... listen to me and go home. You can go back to school, it's a holy place, you should be in the ivory tower now, rather than growing up socially."

"No, I won't answer, I don't need to study, all I want is you."

"But I don't need you." He said lightly: "It's very tiring to take care of you, you take all the rest of the money, and I will compensate you, and then you go back to S City, and I will be discharged from the hospital and go home. Don't worry, I Can't die of hunger."

"You lied to me! In fact, you don't want me, you don't! I know it all."

"Don't be so sentimental." He smiled mockingly: "From now on, you go home and I'm discharged from the hospital, so we can get together and get separated."

"..." I said softly, "Jinze, I'm sorry, don't be angry with me, okay?"

"No life."

"Then I will stay."

"This is impossible."

"Jinze..."

He asked impatiently: "Jiang Cheng, are you finished?"

"I do not go."

He gave me a squinting look, and I said, "If you really hate me that much, then when you get better, I'll just leave without saying a word. Where there is you, Li Jinze, there won't be me, Jiang Cheng."

He closed his eyes, his face pale.

That night, I was so depressed that I went to work, and Zhao Xingyan polished my shoes in front of me with his back to me.After he finished polishing his shoes, he handed me a tray and asked me to deliver it to table six for him.I knew he was going to trick me again, but I didn't know what trick he was trying to play this time, so I didn't agree.

"As for you? Bastard!" He forcefully put the plate in my hand: "Do you want to fight? Hurry up!"

I forced myself to take a deep breath, calm down, calm down, I absolutely must not lose this job because of a fight... I took the plate and walked forward, when I took a step, I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my left foot!It came unprepared, I yelled, and the tray dropped out of my hand.Zhao Xingyan stood beside me all the time, he quickly took the tray, and laughed loudly: "It's really useless, don't be careful when you walk, idiot! Hahaha!!!"

The music in the bar is deafening, and the five-color neon lights are constantly changing, which is psychedelic and unpredictable.Men and women were swaying wildly on the dance floor, and the DJ was playing discs with a full face. My screams were drowned out, and no one paid any attention to me.

I reluctantly walked aside, every step I took made me gasp.I took off my shoes and the pain intensified.Looking carefully, I found that an iron nail had been pierced into the sole of the shoe. Excluding the thickness of the sole, the protruding length was six to seven centimeters.The white socks had been stained red with blood, and the blood was dripping on the ground.I gritted my teeth and pulled out the nail. When I pulled out the nail, I felt that the head of the nail was sticky, but it was not sticky all over my hand. I reckoned it should be double-sided tape.It turned out that he was pretending to shine shoes, but in fact he was putting nails.The light here is dim, and his body blocks his movements, so I naturally don't know what he is doing.He took the tray because he didn't want to make things worse. After all, if the matter was blamed on me, I would definitely confess him. If the boss put the matter on Sister Wei, Sister Wei would never let him go.I reluctantly put on my shoes and limped to the counter to order a draft beer.

If you still have to endure this kind of thing, then I'm not a fucking man.

When I found Zhao Xingyan, he was smoking and talking with other waiters.Seeing me coming, he said angrily, "Hey, come here, little lame~"

I walked up to him with a blank face, and poured draft beer on his head, just like he did to me that day.He obviously didn't expect me to do this, he said: "You!" Before he could say the second word, I smashed a cup on his head.

……

Later, I was fired, maybe the previous cigarette played a role, the foreman decided in private that I don't need to pay Zhao Xingyan, what Zhao Xingyan wanted to say, sister Wei glared at him: "Shut up!"

It was nine o'clock in the evening. I went to the hospital where he was and got a tetanus shot, and I went to see him again.He hasn't slept yet, probably because of the pain and he couldn't fall asleep. Seeing me limping in, he asked softly, "What's wrong with your feet?"

I shook my head and didn't speak.

"Have you been bullied?" He asked tentatively.

I smiled at him and said, "No...it's only me who bullies others, who can bully me."

He looked at me with worry and melancholy in his eyes.

I said: "Brother..."

"Ok?"

"I'm stupid, I can't do anything well, and I always accomplish nothing." I buried my head beside his bed and said in a muffled voice, "I beg you, let me stay by your side, don't dislike me, let me put my Let's atone for my sin... Otherwise, I will have a hard time in my life."

He sighed and said, "I'm not worth it, and you're still young, so please count on me, even if I'm gone, you can find someone to take care of you for me, okay?"

"You have hope!!" I said, "Don't talk nonsense!"

"Chengcheng, when will you listen to me?" He kept speaking softly, which made me speechless.Yes... If I had listened to him earlier, he wouldn't be lying here now.

"..." I said stubbornly, "This is the last time, and when I grow up, I need to be responsible for the mistakes I made."

"It's good that you understand, but I don't need you to be responsible. I'm very pleased that you understand a new truth. But, Chengcheng, just give up on me... Please forgive me, I don't want to live like this. I hope you can remember Live, get rid of your willfulness, learn to love others, you are still clean like a piece of white paper, listen to me, go home. You will become an upright and loved person..." He said with a smile : "I don't blame you, never. If you really love me, then go home now, so that I can feel at ease."

"No, I won't go back!" I shook my head and said, "I have already experienced the feeling of losing you once, no, I really can't live without you!"

"No one can live without anyone. The outside world is very big and beautiful, and you will like it. You will meet many interesting things and interesting people..."

I interrupted him: "But none of them can compare to Li Jinze, I only want Li Jinze."

"There are many people who are better than me."

"I don't need the world, I don't need others!" I said madly: "I don't want the whole world!! I have the world, and Li Jinze is my world, do you understand! It was my willfulness and stubbornness that killed you before. It’s like this, I’ll change it, can’t I change it? I beg you, give me a chance.”

"……forget me, please."

"Back when we escaped together, there was no way out. Jinze, my life was bought by you. Now that you are like this, I can't leave! Let me tell you, I'm eighteen, not young anymore , I... from now on, I don't need your protection anymore, let me protect you, let me pay off the debt... okay?"

"You still don't understand, you don't owe me anything."

"I beg you, don't think about me anymore, I'm dying of guilt, because I'm the one who deserves to be damned!" I took a deep breath and said slowly, "I will cure you, I will, you will be cured from now on. There will be no more disasters in the future, and you will live to old age safely... If there is such a day, we can no longer live because of money, and you are gone..." I said softly: "Teacher, where are you going? Where am I going..."

At that time, I didn't understand that in his heart, my peace was his peace, and my disaster was also his disaster.It's like this from beginning to end, as long as that person named Jiang Cheng lives well, it doesn't matter if he wrongs himself to the point of self-abuse, even he has long forgotten his own existence, he puts his heart and his future in everything Jiang Cheng's body.

His love is too great and too ordinary.

It's just that the sentence I like you at the beginning has become a belief.

If I make progress, the joy in his heart will be ten times greater than mine; if I fail, the pain in his heart will be a hundred times greater than mine.

Hearing this, he sighed softly, "Don't be stupid."

……

He was washing dishes in the kitchen, I put down the computer, stretched my waist and went to find him.

"Why did you come in? The window is open, it's cold. You don't wear too much, don't catch a cold again, go back quickly." The sound of water was rushing, and he was rinsing the dishes full of dishwashing liquid along the water.

My heart moved slightly, I hugged him from behind, and said, "My husband, it's great to have you, thank you."

"What's the matter? It seems that you are deeply moved." He asked softly.

I sniffed and said: "It's okay, I just feel that I can be with you, and I can't cultivate it in ten lifetimes. Suddenly, I am very afraid of death, because I will never meet you in the next life."

"Why do you say that?"

"You are so good, there must be many people vying to queue up to ask for it. I haven't done anything good in my life. What if Lord Yan judges you to be a good person in your next life?"

"Cough... it seems like it's Yuelao's business to pull strings."

"Then let's go burn incense and beg the old man later, okay? Let him be merciful and accommodate us in the next life. I'm really not sure that I will get you in the next life. What if you marry a vicious female partner?" Being together and not remembering me... oh my god! so what should I do?!!"

He smiled slightly: "Don't be stupid... go back quickly, I'll make something delicious for you after washing the dishes."

"What's delicious?"

"Can I tell you this now? This is a surprise, you go back and wait for me first."

"You won't come back until you tell me."

"Gee, I really can't tell you right now."

"If you don't tell me, then I won't go back."

"Ancestor, listen to me, don't catch a cold, okay? Go back!"

"Ah, you are warm, the whole body is heated, I am not cold at all!"

"Jiang Cheng, are you going back or not." He put down the plate with a serious tone.

I grinned and said in mourning, "Go back..."

He smiled with satisfaction: "That's right, go back and wait for your husband and I will cook you the best dish in the world."

……

Some people say that there is a bird without feet that has been flying since its birth, never dying.I am that bird, his life is my life, as long as he is still alive, then I can keep flying.