Religious Faith

I came back at this time for a few days, maybe on the fifth day, when I got home at night, the atmosphere didn't feel right.

He didn't have a job, but sat on the sofa and asked, "How long are you going to lie to me?" His voice was cold.

"Huh?" I pretended not to understand.

"Did you go to learn the piano today?"

"……study,"

"Lie!" He interrupted me, got up, and walked towards me: "You have already told Mr. Wang that you will not learn the piano, and I ask you, what money are you going to earn?!"

"I..." I was speechless when he forced me to ask.

"Say, what the hell are you doing!" He was annoyed.

"I..." I bowed my head: "I work in an Internet cafe... as a network administrator..."

"When will I ask you to do this!" He squinted, gasping for breath.

"I... don't want to learn anymore..." I didn't dare to look him in the eyes because I felt guilty.

"Why." He sighed, his voice trembling with anger.

"..." I whispered, "No reason..."

He took out the certificates from under the bed in front of me, and put them one by one in the cabinet: "I tell you, you have to go tomorrow, or you have to go if you don't."

I yelled: "I'm not going!" Then I stomped back into the room, making it loud and irritable.

We have started a cold war.

The next day he locked me at home, and before he left, he said coldly: "The salary of the Internet cafe is gone, don't even think about leaving it until you admit your mistake."

After he left, I slammed the wall hard, my hands hurt, and even the pores on my scalp and back shrank.

I just refused to give in, because I was doing it for his own good!

He locked me up for a whole month. He knew that whenever we quarreled, I wouldn't eat the food he left for me until it turned rancid, so he didn't cook it for me.He would go home to buy groceries, inadvertently "making more" and couldn't do it.A few days ago, I resolutely refused to eat for the sake of my backbone. After a few days, I couldn't bear it anymore, so I pretended it was nothing and secretly fried it.

But we already have a crack.

During this month, I was decadent all day long, with nothing to do, so bored that I went crazy.Maybe he thinks that I will get mentally ill if things go on like this, and he loves me, so he also vaguely "forgot to lock the door".

He cared about me, always has.But I'm stupid, I always ruin his heart, I use the insight of a frog in the bottom of a well, coupled with the impulse of being spoiled lawlessly, to stab him to pieces.

……

Actually, I don't want to say it, but I have to say it.

In order to atone for my sins, and to one day escape from the shackles of this heart, I want to let the darkness see the light, so that the filth will melt and the light will fall in my heart.

……

I was so determined to continue looking for a job.The second job is a card dealer, and the salary is not high, that is, just over a thousand.

A few nights later, he suddenly appeared at my work place with a very gloomy face.

He took my arm and walked towards the door, and it hurt me a lot.I couldn't break free, so I was pulled by him and walked out.

"What are you doing!" I asked angrily.

He tried his best not to be so angry, suppressed the anger in his voice, and said in a low voice, "Do you know where this is?"

He walked to the door and said to the boss: "I'm sorry, I have to take him home. I'm sorry for delaying your operation. As compensation, we don't want the salary for these days."

I kept struggling on the road, but he didn't say a word.I yelled: "Li Jinze, you are going too far!"

You can clearly hear his panting, it's gas.

"Li Jinze, let me go!!"

He still didn't speak, and didn't let go.

I opened my mouth and bit his hand, biting down hard.

"Uh," he took a quick breath, I still didn't let go, and he didn't let go, still holding my arm.

I intensify the force, and the bite is even more deadly.

The taste of blood spread all over his mouth, and his hands were bleeding.

He slowly let go of his hand, his expression was a bit complicated, there were several emotions flowing in his eyes, a little bit of surprise, puzzlement, and more hurt.

His hands were bright red, and blood flowed down in streams.

It is already night, the streets are flickering with neon lights, and thousands of miles are bright.Behind is the great world, colorful.Opposite him was him, standing in the shadows, letting the blood flow from his fingertips, staining his pants red and dripping on his shoes.

He looked down at his hands, then up at me.

I panicked, looked at his hands, and blamed myself.I can't describe the emotion in his eyes, we looked at each other, my heart felt like a knife cut, it hurt so much...

I wanted to see his hand, mine was just outstretched, and at the same time he turned away.

I silently retracted the hand that hadn't been raised too obviously.

He didn't pull me any more, but I obediently followed behind him with my head down.We kept a certain distance, I didn't dare to get too close, and I didn't dare to draw too long a distance from him.

Passing by the clinic on the way, he didn't even look at its signboard.

I know, I'm really too much...

But how did I become like this...?

But I still didn't go to learn the violin, he no longer locked me and ignored me.

The wound on his hand was scabbed, and he accidentally cracked it a few times, and the blood was all over the ground. He always wiped the blood away silently.

I know all this and want to help him, but I always hold back.

Later, I also moved bricks, which was more than 1000 a month, and it took seven hours to go back and forth by subway every day.I have to get up at four o'clock every day, and I will not be lazy on the construction site, and I will work hard all day when I work.The co-workers laughed at me stupidly, hehe, these old fritters know how to bully newcomers, I do all the dirty work, but they can smoke a cigarette, chat, and pretend to do it as soon as the foreman turns around live.I get home after ten o'clock in the evening, and sometimes I have to keep it if there is a problem. Then I don't know how late I have to stay up, but I have to continue the next day's shift.

Many people commented that my fingers are beautiful, like bamboo shoots, white and slender.And sometimes I would stare at the increasingly rough hand in a daze, I was afraid it would be scrapped.

Every day when I go home, I'm sweaty and exhausted. Many times I don't care about taking a shower and changing clothes, and I just fall asleep on the bed.But when I woke up again, the dirty clothes had been changed, and the sweat on my body seemed to be wiped off by someone.

Needless to say...it must be him.

I got up and went to the living room, he was sleeping on the sofa, and my pocket money was still prepared on the coffee table.

……

I was sore, but I still didn't take the initiative to talk to him, let alone hug him.I bit him like that, how can I still have the face to talk to him?

I worked on the construction site for a month and resigned after receiving a salary of 300 yuan.

I'm so tired, it's too much for a person like me who never works hard.

After this month, I gained some muscle, and my calf often had cramps in the middle of the night, and I often woke up with pain.I didn't dare to tell him, but I found out that it was a calcium deficiency after I checked it on the Internet.Then it was because the effort was equivalent to training, so I tried my best to grow taller, and I grew three centimeters in two months this year.In addition, I also grew two centimeters a few days ago in Beijing, so it is exactly 1.77 now.

I wanted to buy him something, when I happened to pass by a band, they said they concentrate on making music, and one day the whole world will hear their voices.

My heart moved slightly. In fact, I am quite good at learning music, so can I also own a band?

I thought that pop and rock music is different from classical music. You can see that singers are popular when they sing. In fact, singing skills vary widely, and some people just look at their faces.

I thought, red, it was an easy thing to do.In fact, everyone has a dream of being a celebrity. When dreaming, they think that they are very talented. If xx (my name) is not popular, it is too much for heaven!But this is a pyramid, only when you grow up and experience more, you will realize how difficult it is just a single scarlet letter.Even if you are popular, then it is like a flash in the pan, and finally disappear in front of others.On this road, everyone has followed one after another, maybe whose glory is stepping on the bones of a group of people.This is just a superficial matter, there are some rules in the circle, that can't be said, everyone knows it well.There are many things, and they are very complicated... But there may be nothing, haha.

However, back then, I thought that as long as I worked hard, nothing was impossible.I will be popular, gain both fame and fortune, and Li Jinze and I will live a happy life.

So I bought him a wallet and used the rest of the money to buy a guitar.

The author has something to say: Jiang Cheng's behavior is also a big reason because he was "stimulated".He was so well protected before, and his mental age was too young, even naive, but now seeing the sacred and inviolable lover in his heart being submerged for work, he couldn't stand it, especially since he had never experienced the pressure of society. The baptism is very impulsive (you can see it from jumping off the building to elope), and it is inevitable that there will be extreme behavior.