Religious Faith

Li Jinze would also find time to accompany me to class, especially when Mr. Wang said that I was a man who could be made, his eyes lit up.He went out to dinner with Mr. Wang, and told him about my situation, but of course he didn’t tell the whole story, that is to say, it’s impossible for me to go to school for naturalization to study violin, but is there any other way out for me to go in this regard? farther?

"Of course it is possible, but it will be very difficult. You have to find additional teachers with higher standards so that he can receive a better education. Compared with professional students, this is like other people receiving school education in school, while you study on your own. It's the same as being a talent."

Then I had another teacher who taught violin, surnamed Sun, who was a professor at a certain conservatory.Mr. Sun is in his 30s, tall, thin, fair and clean, with a relatively lonely personality and few words.His classes are very expensive, one-on-one, each class is 120 minutes, and the fee is two thousand.

But his class was really beneficial, and I learned a lot of deeper things.

At this time, I finally understood why Li Jinze was so cruel to me. In my situation, no matter what to learn, as long as I want to learn something famous, I will pay a very high price.This is a bottomless pit, Li Jinze has no goal and no end.His only thought was to keep filling until he couldn't fill it anymore.But I think maybe that's when I'll be a talent, and I'll slap reality in the face and tell it that we're still doing well.But now that I think about it... I smiled, I was so fucking young back then.

Mr. Wang's class still needs to be taken to lay a solid foundation and improve skills.Mr. Sun's class is held once a month, which is regarded as a big tonic pill, which is used for enlightenment.Using this analogy, what Mr. Wang nourishes is the body, and what Mr. Sun sublimates is the soul.

In midsummer, Shichahai is full of lotus flowers.

I went with him.The weather was fine that day, the sun hung high in the sky, and Shichahai was crowded with people.Compared with the crowd, the lotus has its own seclusion.

He was a little absent-minded and in a trance.I took his hand and walked through the crowd. Anyway, there were so many people and so crowded that no one would pay attention to us.I took him to the water's edge, took out two one-yuan coins, and gave him one.

He glanced at me inexplicably, I put the coin in the palm of my hand, bowed my head and made a wish, and then threw it into the water.

"You too." I called him.

"This is not the wishing well."

"Just take it for what it is." I was a little disappointed.

He couldn't stand my grind, so he reluctantly bowed his head and made a wish, and then threw it hastily.

In fact, Li Jinze has changed a bit recently. Every time he goes home, he has a sullen face and rarely speaks.The only thing he would say to me were two sentences: "Have you eaten?", "Play the piano for me." He would only work after listening to the piano, but he hadn't praised me for a long time.

In the middle of the night, I wash fruit for him to eat when he is busy.I leaned on his shoulders, but inadvertently smelled a very faint smell of liquid foundation that didn't belong to his woman on the shirt he hadn't changed.I took a closer look and there was nothing on the clothes.Maybe I'm paranoid...

But I'm really scared.I'm afraid that he really has someone outside, not because of suspicion, but because of fear.I am afraid of being abandoned, I am afraid that I will really have nothing if he leaves, maybe I have to go home and be ridiculed by them, or maybe I will wander from now on, so somewhere there is an extra wage earner... I am even more afraid of this, without him.

But I didn't dare to question him, for fear that he would get angry. For the first time, I felt so useless.I looked through his text messages, call records, and even the ones he hasn’t logged in for a long time, from those with notes to those without notes, and even 10086, but there was not a single ambiguous text message.Maybe I really think too much...

But for several days in a row, I deliberately smelled it, and I still smelled the faint smell except washing powder.Since I was a child, my sense of smell is much more sensitive than others, so...

I also found that, in fact, he would always come back a little later than usual during this time.

"Why did you come back so late during this time?" I asked him while clearing the table.

"Is it a lot late?" He said casually, in a very light tone.He turned around and went into the bathroom, turned on the faucet very loudly, and the water was rushing.

I whispered something: "It's okay..." Although he couldn't hear it.

When he came out again, his clothes had already been changed.

I was lying in bed at night, and he was still busy with the desk lamp and the computer.I pretended to be casual and asked: "Does your company have more women..."

"Hmm." He responded casually.

"Isn't that because there are more women, the quality is higher, and the looks are more beautiful..."

He was silent for a while and said, "It's okay."

I turned over and fell asleep with a lot of thoughts.

I had no class the next day, and when he left, I got up and went downstairs to buy meat and vegetables, and then I went home to wash rice and stir-fry vegetables.Their company made an order at 11:30, and I packed the prepared meals into an insulated lunch box and brought them to his company at [-]:[-].

I know the location of his company, but I have never been in it before. This is the first time I go because I want to see his colleagues...

This company is not small, and there are many people, but I saw him at the first sight.They are still busy, and it can be seen that most of them are related to work. Occasionally, they chat for a while, and the atmosphere is not bad, but his condition is not as bad as at home. It can be said that he is a different person.

At this time, a very capable woman came over with a dozen materials, of medium build and slightly fat.With shawl hair parted in the middle and black high heels, she walks like a strong woman.She looks ordinary, even a bit ugly, with sharp facial features, and she is the kind of person who is not easy to deal with.She handed the information to Li Jinze with a strong smile, then said a few words to him, and finally patted him on the shoulder very affectionately before leaving. Li Jinze remained expressionless throughout the process.

I don't know if other people see it or not, anyway, everyone turns a blind eye.Maybe it's really nothing, I'm too sensitive.How could Li Jinze be with this kind of woman... No, no, no, this would not be his aesthetic standard.

Someone came up to me and asked, "Who are you looking for?"

"Li Jinze." I said, "I saw him." Then I walked towards him.

He was a little surprised to see me, but it was fleeting.He asked, "Why are you here?"

"Bring you food."

Someone asked him, "Jinze, is this...?"

"My brother."

The man smiled and said, "This handsome guy is not your brother, is he? You don't look alike at all."

"No." He turned to me and said, "I have something to do at noon, you can eat by yourself."

I asked him: "What's the matter?"

A beautiful colleague at the table next to him said: "Brother, did you see that person just now? That's the manager, and he's going out with Jinze at noon." She explained: "I need an interpreter for a dinner, and he is very capable. "

Li Jinze said to her: "Thank you, you are not bad."

The beauty smiled sweetly, and she said to me: "Why don't you eat with us today? How about ordering chicken chop rice together at noon? Do you want another KFC family bucket?"

Li Jinze looked at me: "Do you want to stay?"

I nodded and said, "OK..."

Li Jinze said to the beautiful colleague: "Excuse me, I will treat today's meal, and I will reimburse you when I come back."

"Yeah, not bad~" The beauty smiled and said with playful eyes, "Brother, come more in the future."

Li Jinze looked at the document and got up to leave. I picked up my lunchbox and chased him out, saying, "Can you... try it? I... have been doing it for a long time..."

He glanced at me lightly and said, "No need, you can eat, and go back by yourself after eating."

I am numb.

He asked, "Do you have any money to go back?"

"..."

He was going to take the money, and I said that sentence that I had endured for a long time.I said, "Li Jinze, you have changed."

He looked up at me, and I threw the lunch box into the trash can next to him in front of him, and then left without looking back.

When I turned around, I cried.