After wearing a book and becoming a stand-in, she became a fan

Yu Jiu didn't go back to the hospital directly after he left this cool and cold cafe. He didn't forget what he was doing to find an excuse to come out. He walked around and found a restaurant to pack two dishes before going back——New Year's Eve Ten, the restaurants that are still open are not so easy to find.

It's just that when he stepped on the scorched leaves and walked back, the blood that was eager to move when he just ran out had already calmly condensed into ice.

Yu Jiu didn't want to deliberately think about what Xiao Yan said just now, but...he heard it in his ears, and he couldn't pretend it didn't happen.

However, most of the big things in the Chinese people can be temporarily covered by the four words "big Chinese New Year". Yu Jiu has never paid much attention to the New Year, but at this time he can't help but think of these four words.

During the Chinese New Year, everything can be postponed for the time being.

Besides, this was the first year he and Wang Xingquan spent together.

Yu Jiu didn't want to ask anything today.

His thin and thin body was wrapped in a biting cold wind. When he returned to the ward, he had already adjusted his mentality, and smiled as if nothing had happened just now.

He just went out to buy some food.

"I'm back." Hearing the sound of the door opening, Wang Xingquan turned around and saw Yu Jiu coming back with a vegetable box, so he hurriedly got up to take it, and when his warm fingertips touched his cold fingers, he paused slightly.

Then Wang Xingquan put the box on the table next to the ward, put Yu Jiu's cold fingers in his palm and rubbed it gently, the warmth seemed to spread to all the limbs along the fingers.

Yu Jiu's whole body was released from the 'frozen' state, he raised his eyes slightly, and looked at Wang Xingquan in a daze.

"Don't go out easily in the future." Wang Xingquan lowered his eyes slightly, looking at his fingers that turned red because of their whiteness, and said with a hint of distress in his voice, "It's too cold outside."

Yu Jiu gave a soft 'um' sound.

After a long while, he felt that he was being too perfunctory. After thinking for a while, he lowered his head slightly, and in an instant when Wang Xingquan didn't care, his soft lips kissed the back of his fair hand lightly.

......

"Thank you." Yu Jiu naturally 'tucked' the other party, then smiled slyly: "Happy New Year."

The latter froze for a moment, his dark eyes unconsciously stained with the color of a 'carnivore', he pulled his lips and smiled: "Happy New Year."

It's another new year, and Yu Jiu hopes that this year will have a good start.

When watching the New Year's Eve together at night, he thought to himself, let's ask about those things when we find a suitable opportunity.

But Xiao Yan's words lingered in his mind like a nightmare.

This time it wasn't Wang Yizhuo who was injured, Yu Jiu didn't have to take care of him in the hospital, and went home to sleep at night.

He couldn't fall asleep while lying on the bed, his mind was full of those words Xiao Yan said——

'There is a woman named Wei Qiu who helped Brother Quan when he was in the most difficult time. '

'Brother Quan has been with her since he was 16 years old. '

And follow her, what are you doing, it goes without saying, you won't just chat under the quilt?

Can... can it be?Perhaps there is a [-]% hope that Ms. Wei Qiu is Wang Xingquan's aunt, a sponsor, a benefactor... But Yu Jiu knows that the possibility is unlikely.

No one in this world will be nice to another person for no reason, there must be a plan.

But Wang Xingquan had too many things to draw on.

Thinking about it, my head hurts more and more.

Yu Jiu closed his eyes, and decided not to torture himself any more - he didn't want to guess what the problem was, he could just ask Wang Xingquan directly.

Guessing out of thin air like delusional thinking is a disrespectful injury to both of them.

What if Xiao Yan made up a story to drive them apart?He didn't want to learn about Wang Xingquan's past from Xiao Yan, Yu Jiu wanted to know about it himself.

The next afternoon, looking for a chance for Wang Yizhuo to sleep, Yu Jiu quietly dragged Wang Xingquan to the rest area.Just as he was about to ask a question after organizing his words all night, he noticed the slight dark circles under Wang Xingquan's eyelids——

"What's the matter?" Yu Jiu was taken aback, a little surprised: "Did you not sleep well last night?"

He knew that Wang Xingquan had fair skin and a special constitution. Basically, if he didn't sleep well one night, he would have slight dullness or dark circles under his eyes.

That's it right now.

"It's nothing." Wang Xingquan stretched out his hand and pinched the bridge of his tall nose, as if lifting himself up, and said casually, "It's just that the cannons were fired outside the hospital last night, and he didn't have a good rest."

When he lies, he always pinches the bridge of his nose, but unfortunately Yu Jiu doesn't know about it.

The latter breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the words, thought for a while and said hesitantly: "Actually, there is something I didn't tell you. Yesterday... When I went out to buy vegetables yesterday, Xiao Yan came to see me."

"Really?" Wang Xingquan smiled indifferently, as if a little distracted: "What's wrong with him? Will I give you another 1000 million?"

Wang Xingquan's ridicule did not make Yu Jiu laugh, he was silent for a while, and took a deep breath: "He told me something."

"Some... things about Ms. Wei Qiu."

When this name was mentioned, Yu Jiu keenly noticed that Wang Xingquan's eyes trembled slightly.

He instantly understood that this person is real, not fabricated by Xiao Yan, Yu Jiu's voice trembled uncontrollably: "Is there such a person?"

Wang Xingquan pursed his lips and said in a deep voice, "What did he say?"

"I don't believe anything he says." Yu Jiu shook his head and looked at him persistently: "I only believe you."

Wang Xingquan was silent for a while, and couldn't help but chuckle, a self-deprecating laugh.

A lot of images flashed back in his mind like a slide show - such as the sweet kiss and vigil on New Year's Eve yesterday after he and Yu Jiu expressed their affection, such as what the doctor said to him with a heavy expression this morning.

"Mr. Wang, you should be mentally prepared."

"I know it's difficult for the family to accept, but because there are many chemical materials in the studio, the smoke that burns after burning contains chemical components, which will seriously infect the children's lungs and respiratory tract."

"In the future... it is very likely that there will be sequelae, and the family members must be mentally prepared."

In fact, Wang Xingquan knew what Xiao Yan probably said to Yu Jiu, and he could guess from the child's flustered expression, but he was not angry.

Wang Xingquan just felt... Was his confession to Yu Jiu too hasty?

He is in debt, but he is not alone. He has an autistic younger brother who is still suffering from sequelae. The whole person is no longer a "burden", but a heavy mountain.

What qualifications does a person like him have to drag others down and pursue others?

Oh, it's so embarrassing.

"I'm sorry." Wang Xingquan didn't make any explanation, and only said one sentence: "It's just what you think."

Better to admit it.

Just let... Just let Yujiu be completely disappointed in him.

"Wang Xingquan, you lied to me." Yu Jiu forced a smile, shaking his head with a little slack in his eyes: "I don't believe...how is it possible?"

If Wang Xingquan wanted to go out and sell, the debt would have been paid off long ago. How could life be as hard as it is now!

Wang Xingquan didn't speak, but looked down at the ground.

"Wang Xingquan, look at me." Yu Jiu simply squatted on the ground, raised his head and stared closely at Wang Xingquan's eyes, watching the undercurrent surge in his dark eyes, and his voice was hoarse unconsciously: "I don't believe it." If you have that kind of relationship with that Ms. Wei, you must have something else to hide from me? Can you tell me?"

Of course it doesn't matter.

Wang Xingquan smiled wryly - but he didn't want to deny it.

He admits that he is despicable, but now he wants to take this opportunity to keep his burden away from Yujiu as much as possible.

Wang Xingquan has never troubled others in his life, and he doesn't want to now.

"Why don't you talk?" Yu Jiu pinched his knuckles unconsciously with his fingers: "Wang Xingquan, say something!"

"I've said it before." Wang Xingquan closed his eyes: "It's just like what you heard."

"As I heard? What's the matter?" Yu Jiu looked at him almost aggressively: "You look like you were taken care of by a rich woman, and you followed Wei Qiu at the age of 16 to pay off the debt? Then I said before that you have the conditions to be When you were a cowherd, were you fucking pretending to me?!"

He didn't believe that Wang Xingquan's 'acting skills' could be so good!

Wang Xingquan's hand hanging by his side was clenched unconsciously. It seemed that there was a constant surge of cold air in his chest, and he held it back with all his strength. In the end, he could only say those three words: "I'm sorry."

Sorry to disappoint you.

"Asshole." Yu Jiu gritted his teeth unconsciously, and looked at him fiercely.

He doesn't believe it, as long as he thinks that Wang Xingquan has held someone's hand, kissed someone, and even... slept with someone, he won't believe it.It's not that he has emotional cleanliness, but Yu Jiu insists that he doesn't believe that Wang Xingquan is that kind of person.

"You should despise me." Wang Xingquan understood the torment and pain in Yu Jiu's eyes, and smiled in embarrassment. His slender fingers pressed against his temples, as if he was supporting a crumbling soul, like another shell The self in the middle is talking lightly——

"Sorry, let's break up."

There was a dead silence in the lounge, so quiet that you could almost hear a needle drop.

"You want to break up with me?" Yu Jiu's face was paler than paper, he stared at Wang Xingquan's face, his eyes seemed to be shattered, and there was a feeling of embarrassment in his light gasp: "Oh, It's funny, it's funny."

"Little Jiu." Wang Xingquan felt extremely flustered for a moment, even more flustered than when Yu Jiu had just said harsh words, he unconsciously grabbed Yu Jiu's hand: "Don't be like this."

"What about me? Wang Xingquan, tell me what about me?!" Yu Jiu shook off his hand as if he couldn't bear it at last, and burst out, "I don't fucking believe Xiao Yan's nonsense at all! But you know that when I knew about it, I thought about what I would do if it was true?!"

Wang Xingquan was taken aback for a moment, then stared at him blankly.

"What I think is...if only I were a few years older." Yu Jiu stared at him firmly, not knowing if it was because of too much force, his eyes were slightly watery.He hastily stretched out his hand to erase it, and chuckled self-deprecatingly: "If I were a few years older than you, I would have money, and I would be able to support you."

Then how could it be that woman named Wei Qiu's turn?He is willing to help Wang Xingquan pay off his debts so that he can be raised well.

Yu Jiu thought about it all night yesterday, and found that he was almost "accepting his fate" - if he likes someone, he can accept everything about him.

However, what Wang Xingquan actually said was that he wanted to break up with him.

This makes Yu Jiu feel that all his thoughts are jokes and self-indulgence.

"Wang Xingquan." Yu Jiu gritted his teeth, his jaw line tightened, "You really make me feel like I'm a joke."

After he finished speaking, he finally couldn't take it anymore and turned around to leave—just as his hand touched the doorknob, Wang Xingquan hugged him from behind.

He hugged Yu Jiu firmly, his arms were almost imprisoned, and the strong sense of unease seemed to spread throughout Yu Jiu's body through his thin clothes.

"I'm sorry." Wang Xingquan hugged him vigorously, as if for the last time, wanting to rub Yujiu into his flesh and blood, and whispered in his ear: "Xiaojiu, you are not a joke, I am... ...I am not good enough for you."

When he heard Yu Jiu say those words, his heart hurt like being squeezed by an invisible hand.

Yu Jiu is so good, and deserves to be the best person in the world, but he shouldn't be like this - he doesn't say anything, but he has a lot of burdens.

Maybe they shouldn't have met at all, they shouldn't have been impulsive for a moment of pleasure a few days ago, and now they won't tear their faces so emotionally.

For the first time, Wang Xingquan realized that he was so timid—he didn't have the courage to tell the truth, nor did he have the courage to let go of Yujiu completely.

He couldn't help wanting to hug him.

Yu Jiu said coldly: "Let go of me."

Wang Xingquan's arm trembled slightly, but as if playing a rascal, the band tightened even more.

"Aren't you going to break up?" Yu Jiu resisted the sourness in his heart, and snorted coldly: "Then why are you still hugging me? Are you doing badly?"

"You can say goodbye casually..."

"I do owe a lot of debt." Wang Xingquan interrupted him abruptly, his voice was trying to be calm after taking a deep breath, like waste soil covering the flames of volcanic lava: "When I was in the second year of junior high, my family's business went bankrupt , My father owed a lot of debts and was forced by usury to commit suicide by jumping off the building."

"The lights go out after death, and the usury debt is forgiven, but many relatives who wanted to invest with our company, such as my second aunt, owed them money, and I have been paying back the money for so many years. "

"At that time, not long after my mother gave birth to Wang Yizhuo, Wang Yizhuo was diagnosed as an autistic child at birth, and she also suffered from postpartum depression."

"Then those things happened again, and her postpartum depression ... got worse."

What happened later is self-evident. During the years when Wang Xingquan's mother did not die, the few of them tortured each other but comforted each other.

until she died.

"My mother came from a rural family. She is very beautiful. She also studied in Wulan. She was favored by my father, and she married my father after graduating from university."

Wang Xingquan's voice gradually calmed down, as if he was telling someone else's story, he 'explained' to Yu Jiu thoroughly, and Yu Jiu was not surprised when he heard it—why did Wang Xingquan have such a marketable second aunt .

"Wei Qiu and my mother are college classmates. My mother helped Aunt Wei a lot during college. They...Aunt Wei has an admiration relationship with my mother."

In Wang Xingquan's somewhat hesitant narration, Yu Jiu slightly widened his eyes: "What?!"

He had thought of many possibilities before, but when he heard the truth... Yu Jiu felt that the possibility that Wang Xingquan was really adopted by Wei Qiu was even greater than the present one.

It turns out that what Wei Qiu admires is not Wang Xingquan, but his mother?He doesn't even dare to write a script like this, okay?So what kind of rumors is Xiao Yan making up there? !

"Aunt Wei is gay, but my mother is not, so when my mother got married after graduation, she went abroad——I heard this from Aunt Wei later." Wang Xingquan said calmly: "I heard After the news of my mother's death, she returned to China and offered to help pay back some debts."

"Debt collection companies don't care who pays back the money. They only collect money, but the money owed to Aunt Wei is also owed." It's just that it's better than owed to those seven aunts and eight aunts.Wang Xingquan downplayed all the hardships he suffered when he was young because of debt repayment, and he only said now: "Because of this relationship, Aunt Wei and I have gotten closer. Xiao Yan may want to spread rumors and slander from this point, but I and Aunt Wei She has no illicit relationship."

Yu Jiu stared at him in disbelief: "Wang Xingquan, are you crazy? Then why do you want to break up?"

Does he like being misunderstood so much?What is the unspeakable secret?

"Xiaojiu, I said breaking up is because I really don't deserve it, so I don't want to joke with you." Wang Xingquan smiled awkwardly, and looked at him with warm black eyes: "I confessed to you before, but I was actually bewitched. I fell in love with the relaxed feeling of being with you, so I forgot what kind of person I am."

"I still have a pile of unpaid debts. I have a younger brother like this—the doctor told me this morning that Wang Yizhuo may have sequelae." Wang Xingquan's long eyelashes trembled: "My conditions are unmatched in the blind date market." Is it the last batch? Or not..."

"Wang Xingquan, shut up." Yu Jiu waved his hand and interrupted him impatiently, frowning slightly: "Who cares about this?"

He has lived for more than 30 years, would he care about these things?He cares about people.

At this moment, because of Wang Xingquan's unprecedented frankness, not only did Yu Jiu not feel the pressure of the dark clouds, but he even felt open-minded—except for the matter of Wang Yizhuo.

"What's wrong with Zhuo Zhuo you just said?" He frowned, took the initiative to hold Wang Xingquan's hand and asked, "Sequelae?"

"He has inhaled too much chemical gas. His health is not good." Wang Xingquan's straight spine slightly bent, and his slender fingers rubbed the center of his eyebrows: "It may leave sequelae, and he needs to take medicine for a long time... "

"So there is a 'possibility' of not staying, right?" Yu Jiu stared at him, his voice softened: "Brother Quan, nothing has come to an end, why do you always like to think in the worst direction?"

Wang Xingquan avoided his gaze, and stared out the window with obsidian-like eyes—indeed, there are many roads ahead.

But he always faced the most difficult one.

"I understand that you don't want to drag me down..." Yu Jiu paused, with a bitter smile on his lips: "But you shouldn't use this to lie to me, do you think I'm a fool? "

"Wang Xingquan, with your looks, you would have already made a fortune as a cowherd. I know you have your persistence, and you can't fool me."

Wang Xingquan couldn't help laughing, even at this moment, he could still laugh out loud because of Yu Jiu's 'black humor'.

No wonder it's not easy, the most difficult thing to find in this world is a "confidant", that is, a person who understands oneself—especially such a person is someone you like.

Sometimes even if you are disappointed with the world, the existence of such a person will make you want to 'live well'.

You will feel... those weak thoughts are really bastards.

"Actually, I've always looked down on myself." In front of Yu Jiu, Wang Xingquan knew that he could be honest and tell the deepest things in his heart and the things he didn't want to face: "You know, my mother was actually killed by me."

Yu Jiu's pupils shrank rapidly.

"Wang Yizhuo was probably... when she was about two years old, her condition became more and more serious, and she had thoughts of self-harm all the time. I went to school during the day, and only she and Wang Yizhuo stayed at home. I had to tie her up—we didn't You can only rent the most shabby house, but the old lady next door is a good person and will help watch over Wang Yizhuo."

"But then, it's useless to tie her up, I can't tie her up 24 hours a day, and then whenever she relaxes, she will self-mutilate, knives, scissors, even nail clippers... as long as she can Everything you touch will be used to hurt yourself."

At first it was hurting myself, and later I couldn't help but abuse others.

In the deadly ward, Wang Xingquan confessed his dark past unreservedly - his right arm and even some hideous marks left by sharp objects on his body all came from his mother.

They tortured each other like this for nearly two years, but Wang Xingquan never had such emotions as 'resentment'.

There is no absolute empathy in the world, and he knows that all this is because she is a patient and she is so crazy. In fact, the patient herself will always suffer more than normal people.

Wang Xingquan can endure physical pain and mental torture, he can understand.

But he couldn't stand her hurting Wang Yizhuo, he was so young and had autism, how could she hit a few-year-old child against the wall by his hair...

"I saw that scene when I came home from school, and knew that I had to take Wang Yizhuo out to live." Wang Xingquan hadn't smoked for a long time, but at this time he rarely lit one.

Slowly in the smoke, his always clear voice was hoarse, Yu Jiu watched his knuckles turning white while holding the cigarette, it seemed that he was talking about the most painful moment——

"If I live with her, I can escape, but Wang Yizhuo will be tortured to death, so I brought him here."

"The second month after moving away...my mother jumped off the building."

In fact, he obviously knew it all.

Knowing that the woman is a lunatic and can't live without her, but he still left her selfishly.

For so many years, the woman jumped from the roof of the building wearing a white nightgown, covered in blood, broken limbs, and the appearance of people around her who were afraid to avoid her...

They were all Wang Xingquan's deepest nightmares.

"I was the one who killed her." Wang Xingquan flicked the cigarette ash, and chuckled in a dazed voice, "Xiaojiu, do you still think I'm a good person?"

How vile and dark he was.