Jinnian

I would have tolerated darkness if I had not seen the sun, yet the sun has made my desolation a new desolation.

—Amy Dickinson

"Hey, Mr. Gu, you look really energetic today!" A blond man with blue eyes smiled and said to the man in the wheelchair.

The man described it as bleak, but his eyebrows and eyes were extremely gentle and light. The moment he raised his head, it seemed like a flower was blooming, but his expression contained the loneliness of the vicissitudes of life. He looked at the blond man and smiled slightly: "Doctor Brady, today Feeling much better, fresh air in the yard."

The blond man looked at his rosy lips, lowered his body unknowingly, and said gracefully: "Then keep such a good mood, you will recover soon!"

Gu Chen narrowed his eyes: "Thank you."

After watching Brady's figure walk away, he pulled the blanket on his lap and continued to spin slowly.

How could the weather in England be like this?He closed his eyes and exhaled lightly, the clear breath had passed through his lungs, as if it had also escaped with the turbid air in his body.He opened his eyes, the sunlight was rare and warm, looking at the not-so-clear sky, the man's eyes gradually became hollow.

Half a year has passed since that disaster, but the marks left on him are unforgettable.The calf bone was severely fractured, the tendon in the foot was ruptured, and there were multiple soft tissue injuries in the upper body. If this was not enough, how about Yu Min's life?

The moment he knew that Yu Min had left, for the first time in his life, he wanted to die.

Because of this relationship, he broke his bones and ruined his body, lost his loved ones, lost his deep gratitude, and wandered all over the world.

Ask if life is so bleak?

The rain breaks and cools down, and the memories are like twilight. It was a dream 11 years ago.

Qiu Luo brought him to England to treat his depression in addition to treating his injuries, because the doctor said he had suicidal tendencies.

But now, more than half a year has passed, what else can he not think about?This is his life and he is ultimately responsible for it. Since he has survived, he must live like a human being.

He returned to City Z, and Qiu Luo helped him open the clinic. He stayed with him here for three months and watched him be able to deal with the clinic on his own before leaving at ease. In the past few days, I still came to him every now and then.It is also Qiu Luo who urges him to do rehabilitation every day. To be honest, to Gu Chen, it doesn't matter whether he is disabled or not. Anyway, he is going to be alone for the rest of his life.

But Qiu Luo refused to give in, such a cold person would forcefully pull him to practice over and over again.He heard him cry, heard him scold, saw him throw things, and in the end he would still hug him tenderly and say, "It's not your fault."

Those were the darkest days in Gu Chen's life, he was lucky to have Qiu Luo by his side at that time.Stand up with him again after he cries and screams.

But Gu Chen knew that after all, some things still died in that disaster, for example, his heart.

If he had been thinking and fluke before this, and he hoped to get back together with Lu Chuxiu one day, then this car accident would wash away all his thoughts and delusions.

So in the end, he was able to accept the mercy of fate so calmly.

His calmness is a turbulence by the hand of fate, while Lu Chuxiu's calmness is the despair that has been tortured step by step by the years.

He searched for the truth of Gu Chen's departure. From the initial shock and pain of breaking up to the disbelief after he calmed down, he always firmly believed that Gu Chen would not leave him because of worldly eyes, so Jian Huai'an's poisonous The thorn was finally found by him.

It was difficult for him to describe his feelings at the moment when he learned the truth. The pain and struggle he had suffered for such a long time turned into a sad mockery and heartache at this moment!It's hard for him to imagine his child's loneliness and helplessness in the face of these malice alone. He wants to get him back and tell him that he doesn't care about all of this, and he will smash that bastard for him Get angry!

But the world is so big, where should I find him?So what if Gu Chen really doesn't want to forgive him?What if he did get married?What if he really became a father?What should he do?

Even if Gu Chen is not married, what will happen to their future?Lu Mingyin, Li Hua, Jian Huai'an, one after another cancerous bombs are always hidden in their lives, how can he create a stable and peaceful life for Gu Chen?Because of him, Gu Chen endured hurt and darkness that he didn't need to bear, and he couldn't guarantee whether the malice in his future life would overdraw their love.

If one day, his child becomes like him, soaked in this filthy life like a complete devil, then who should he turn to to save his love?

For the past three years, anxiety, fear, and madness haunted him like a ghost, and he found that he was slowly becoming a ghost. He was walking into hell step by step, but no one came to help him. .

In this old age, who is happier than whom?

He didn't dare to look for it, even if he believed that as long as he was willing, Gu Chen would appear by his side one day, but he didn't dare, their love was too thoroughly polluted by the filth of life, his child should have been clean An innocent son of a good family, he should have lived a peaceful and happy life like most men, but at the beginning he was drawn into this circle only by his own selfish desires, so he was disappointed and painful again and again, enough is enough!

He said to himself, Lu Chuxiu, you have had him for nine years, you should let him go!You should be content!The last time Gu Chen called him was the despair he had never heard in his life. If he was destined to go to hell, then why not be alone?

I will never see you again in this life.

Just for

goodbye

not you

The you in my heart will never reappear

reproduced

just some vicissitudes

The sun and the moon and the fleeting year.

——Xi Murong

(End)