Hedgehog

It was already dark when we returned home after eating ramen.

The servant came over and said that Ye Ning had returned to his home, and I ordered ramen for him, and he ate it, but it started to blow again outside, and I sobered up.

While Ji Rongfu was taking a shower, my phone rang.

Su Ying was filming at Lu Yan's place some time ago, and the filming is probably over now. She asked me where I was, and said that she came to look for me yesterday but couldn't find me. She is not here today, did she go out to drink again.

I originally wanted to find a good opportunity to introduce Ji Rongfu to her, although they are completely from two worlds.It probably doesn't seem necessary now.

I asked her if there was anything wrong with me.

She hesitated, said no, and told me to come back quickly and don't stay outside all the time.

No wonder this woman can never be popular, and she can't tell lies.

She was still asking me when I would go back, I put down my teacup and said right away.

When I was standing at the door putting on my overcoat, the servant came over and asked me, "Mr. Lin is going out so late?"

I say yes.

"What do you say, sir?"

"Just say that I have something to do these two days and ask him to wait for me to come back."

I was listening to foreign rock bands while driving. Ye Xiao used to tell me about music, saying that the core of rock is anger. I was 20 years old at the time, and I would believe him when he said that the piano is a string. Ye Xiao is born with absolute music. People with this kind of talent can listen to all sounds in life with pitch. Later, I also started to practice ear training to develop an absolute sense of music. In the dormitory where I lived, the iron gate closed was The standard sound is a, the sound of an ambulance is a minor sixth, the sound of c falling to a, the sound of the wind howling on the roof of Huatian Building is geed, and the sound of opening and closing the notebook that Yin Xi carries is a c-.

About seven years ago, the draft ended and the top ten went their separate ways. At that time, Huatian was planning a duo, two young singers of different types, one had already been confirmed to be Lu Yan, handsome as a textbook, and the other Looking for a softer look, I look a bit similar to Ji Luo's family, and I am better at writing and singing than Ji Luo's family.

At that time, Yin Xi was still Mr. Yin to me, who never knew the beginning and the end. He came to me and chatted with me all afternoon in his office full of things, talking about the first time he met Nie Xingqiu back then. , to talk about the prospects of the Chinese music scene in his eyes. With the rise of the Internet, the sales of albums are gradually approaching zero, and the road for singers will become narrower and narrower. There are only two ways, either combine idols and singers like Japan and South Korea, or combine with European and American Also produce a singer-songwriter, and wait for the copyright situation to gradually improve.

He said that the company decided to combine Lu Yan and Ji Luo's family. They are idols, but I am different. I have other arrangements.

He said that this draft is too hasty, most of the players have no background, even if they train well, it will take a few years.However, there are a few trainees in the company with good foundations. He plans to form a music group for us. The number of members is determined to be around five. It will take about one to two years to prepare the first album. In the professional class, he hopes that I will learn professional singing and have a certain performance foundation, because in his plan, this five-member group will eventually fly solo and then develop in multiple habitats.

He wanted a second Nie Xingqiu.

At that time, it was Pang Sha who gave me music lessons. The current singer Chen Jing and the queen Ni Jing are my brothers and sisters.There are two acting classes for me, one is said to be an old man who retired from the film academy, and the other is a young man who has gone wild, with plastic surgery and a mutilated face, but until today, seven years later, I have never seen a man who is better than him Someone with better acting skills.

The one who taught me music theory was Ye Xiao, the music director of Huatian.It was Bai Yu who wrote the lyrics for me, and my guitar was played by Zhang Xiao, the guitarist who was disbanded from Huangshan Band at that time, Yuan Rui's lifelong idol, now he is crazy and lives in a nursing home in Beijing.

So they all call me Master.

Then soon, Lu Yan and Ji Luo's family's drama became real. They were in the company together, and they heard more or less gossip. At the Huatian New Year's Eve party that year, their combination was very popular, and they sang the finale, just in the chorus of Chen Jing and Ni Jing When I played before, I didn't have a show, because there was no new song or album for a year.The party was held in the gymnasium near the company. It was so lively that half of the building was empty. I went to the piano room to practice piano as usual. It felt a bit like I didn’t go home during the Chinese New Year. You were the only one left everywhere.I met Lu Yan in the hallway after putting on makeup. We hadn’t seen each other for nearly a year at that time. He was surrounded by assistants. When he saw me, there was a moment of shock in his eyes, as if he wanted to say something, but in the end he didn’t say anything.

That's about when I gave up on him.

But it's not interesting to say that, in his opinion, I never accepted him at all.

Later, I still practiced day after day. People are strange animals. When they have faith, they really don’t feel tired.When I was a child in Southwest China, before I went to Beijing, all the dishes I ate were red.After Yin Xi talked to me, I didn’t touch chili for a whole year, ate very little salt, practiced lung capacity, ran every day until I almost collapsed, practiced guitar, rubbed blood blisters on my fingers, bled, healed and bled again, and finally left The next layer is a thin cocoon.

In that year, I wrote ten songs, which was just enough for an album. At that time, the staff of Max had basically been confirmed. I, Xu Yi, Karl, Ye Lan, and a very good dancer called Tang Sheng or something, After an accident at the concert, he was replaced by Charlie.

Max debuted in August, and was about to release a single first. In July, everything was ready, and the eight choruses were divided into their respective parts. I still remember the embarrassment of Ye Lan and Karl entering the recording studio for the first time. At that time, Karl had a girlfriend who was sweet and oily, and Xu Yi always looked at me with admiration.

On July [-]th, the atmosphere suddenly changed. There were rumors that the Nie family sent the crown prince down to manage Huatian, and there were rumors that Mr. Yin and the crown prince grew up together, so there should be no problem.

On July [-]th, Ye Xiao was absent from the last meeting before the recording of the album. I had dinner with four other people that night. Xu Yi worriedly called me brother. He is actually the same age as me, but he has been a trainee in Huatian for five or six years. I have no confidence in myself, and I am about to debut, always worrying about accidents.

I comforted them and made them trust Yin Xi.

On July [-]th, I ran as usual in the morning and ate in the cafeteria at noon. Assistant Yin Xi came to me personally and said that Mr. Yin had something to say to me.At that time, Yin Xi was very kind to me. He was actually a man of few words. I remember one time, the light in my dormitory was broken. I practiced the piano very late. When I came back, I saw that the window was bright. , Yin Xi was standing on a chair, fixing the lamp for me with a flashlight.

He bought me tens of thousands of guitars, because I posted a picture of that guitar on the wall. At that time, I ate in the cafeteria all day, and I cooked individual dishes every day. I saw a doctor once in a while. After being sent to Yin Xi, Ni Jing started a global tour and brought me back a Gayageum, saying that Yin Xi saw it by chance and said that I would definitely like it.

He treated me like jade in the rough, and I thought I was jade in the rough. I can’t even remember the details of that afternoon. It was like a cloudy day, and it was like a sunny day. I just remember him apologizing to me, saying that there was a change in the max personnel , A newcomer has to be temporarily inserted, so one of the old players has to leave.

The one who is going is me.

I didn't realize it at that time, so I asked him, "What about my song?"

He said that he would still keep making an album, but my part would be sung by a newcomer.

I said, "Street Lights too?"

Two solos, one "Street Light" is mine, and the other "Blue Snail" is written for Xu Yi.

Yin Xi said yes.

I still remember when I was very calm and I said no, street lights are my song.Then Yin Xi said it’s okay, the company will create a solo album for you and let you debut alone. Chen Jing also wrote many good songs before his debut...

I remember the guilty expression on his face at that time, and he was holding this expression while firmly telling me that my song would be sung for that newcomer.

I just turned 20 and I wasn't a hedgehog, maybe a mole or something ridiculous, probably too much boiled cabbage, I couldn't even swear, I was even calm, I said I To meet the new guy.

Yin Xi said no, this is the company's arrangement and has nothing to do with the newcomer.

I said I at least wanted to hear his voice.

Then he took me to the recording studio and listened to Zhou Lu's voice, he sang my street lamp, the first chorus was out of tune, but it's okay, it will be fixed later, but he sang the last line in an artificial crying voice "But who will accompany me to sleep." How to fix this?

I remember my voice started to tremble at that time, and I said, "You told me you met Nie Xingqiu? This thing is your second Nie Xingqiu?"

I remember crying in the dorm bathroom, I remember gagging my mouth with my fist, but I couldn't stop crying, tearing up my notes like crazy, smashing my guitar, digging out expired My tastebuds went to sleep for a year and then woke up, and the next second I was curled up on the bathroom floor throwing up again.

I still have a copy of the demo I sang at that time, but I have never dared to listen to it again. I listened to it once about three years ago, and I almost shed tears.

If I could go back to that time, I would probably pull myself up on the ground, I would slap him to cheer him up a bit, I would look him in the eyes and tell him: No, you sing very well, You sing better than Xu Yi, Karl, and Zhou Lu. You didn’t lose to anyone. Your song was not taken away because of your incompetence. Some people in this world just don’t need what you want For any reason, it's not your fault.

But I was only 20 years old at the time, and I didn't understand these principles.All I know is that Yin Xi didn't choose me, he chose Zhou Lu instead of me.

Max has five people, and the five people want to reserve a place for Zhou Lu, but he chose to give up on me.

Yin Xi didn't know it was serious until a week later, because I started skipping vocal lessons, I stopped going to the cafeteria, and he found me in a bar where I was sharing a cigarette with a bunch of young rock singers.

He took me back to work and I showed up at another bar the next day.

He pushed me to go to Ponza's voice lessons, but I never opened my mouth, I didn't even speak, I started to feel ashamed of hearing my own voice, there seemed to be countless voices in my head laughing at me, They said, "How badly do you hear this man sing, he can't even keep his own song".I opened my mouth in vain like a fish landed on the shore, but my vocal cords were like a mute.

I remember Pang Sha's stunned expression at that moment, just like when she heard me sing for the first time.

I was standing outside the vocal class classroom and heard Pang Sha arguing fiercely with Yin Xi inside.Time suddenly slowed down, and my heart suddenly felt nothing, so I took out a cigarette from my pocket and smoked again.

I remember that Pangsha came out from inside. She was already middle-aged at that time, she was slightly fat, and she often wore very soft and loose clothes. I remembered that she looked at me and suddenly started crying. Passing a piece of paper, my soul seemed to float up into the sky, overlooking all this indifferently.

Ponza resigned a month later.

Ye Xiao came back about half a month before she resigned.

I don't know what he said to Yin Xi, and Yin Xi finally returned my song to me.

He even started promising me a new album as soon as I quit smoking.

Later he begged me to quit smoking.

He started to praise my voice, he said my voice is very good, he started to tell me about Nie Xingqiu, about new folk songs, about what kind of songs will be popular in the city, but my soul is still floating, I smoke while listening At the end, he said, he asked me why I was smoking so much and why I was going to the bar to drink.

I said, "Because I'm happy."

That was the first thing I said that day.

In fact, I will not be happy, I know this very well, the person I trusted betrayed me, the person I respected, he did not respect me.The person I like, he hasn't seen me for half a year, and then he is with someone who looks like me.

The world is rotten like this, and the people in this world are rotten like this, how can I still be happy?Maybe I won't be happy for the rest of my life.

Who knows.

Later, Yin Xi was almost desperate. Before that, he had always acted calmly. How old was he at that time, 24, maybe 25. I always thought he was very powerful, young, capable, and could handle everything in an orderly manner. At that time, he didn't have the mask of a good old man. He wanted to make people feel that the whole world was sorry for him.

That's right, how can Yin Xi, a good old man, not be able to treat anyone?

Two months later, or three months later, when max's album started to be recorded and the pre-promotion started, he suddenly came to the bar to find me, and said that he would take me to meet a senior, saying that time was tight, and that senior's plane was still on the road. It took off with three hours left.

I saw that man in Huatian’s conference room. He was about 60 or [-] years old. He looked like someone in an American movie. He wore a jacket, had a beard, smoked cigars, and had deep wrinkles between his eyebrows. He looked at me critically and asked Yin Xi: "Is this the person you want me to meet?"

Yin Xi was very humble to him, saying that it was him, and then he pushed me, asking me to sing a sentence or two for the seniors, he even took out a street lamp and said that I wrote the song.

I stood there silently and did not sing.

They waited for me for about 10 minutes, and then the senior said: "Young man, don't get angry because of some trivial things, just say what you have to say, even if you don't sing for the rest of your life, you can't hurt anyone. This world is fair, it should belong to you It's yours, if you sing it, I will judge fairly."

It's really good, but it's a pity that Yin Xi has always said it well.

I picked up the pen on the table to write, and I wrote: "I'm not angry, I just have a cold, a sore throat, and I don't want to sing."

The senior's face darkened, Yin Xi didn't give up, and still asked me with a complicated expression: "Can't you sing a sentence?"

I said directly: "Yes, I can't sing a word."

The senior walked away on the spot, and Yin Xi chased him out. I stood there blankly, thought for a while, found a chair, and started to catch up on sleep.

They all said that I was taking revenge. In fact, I knew that I would not be able to take revenge on anyone. I was just disappointed. I didn’t want to sing to these people. Since he likes Zhou Lu, let him listen to Zhou Lu for the rest of his life. Although my song It's worthless, and it's not leaflets lying around on the side of the road, and I don't have to sing to survive.

If you have to say that this is revenge, then it is revenge.I originally grew up from the cracks in life, how can I correct my three views?What's more, it's not that I haven't tried to be a good person, it's just that I suddenly realized that a good person is actually betrayed and let down, and I don't commit crimes, so why do I have to make mistakes over and over again.

About half a year later, I found out that the so-called senior was Pei Dongyu, Ye Xiao's former music director of Huatian, and the person who discovered Nie Xingqiu and Zhou Zixiang. The late singer Lin Qiaoyin was his most proud work in his life and the only one A Chinese singer who is popular in Asia.

But that's nothing to be ashamed of.

If I don't sing, others will sing, the world will not perish, and the earth will continue to rotate. Without me, max is still popular all over the country. I sold the ten songs of the album separately. "Street Light" sung by Ye Zhen and "Blue Snail" by Chen Jing will still make people cry.Those who would become my fans if I sang, are now fans of Max, Ye Zhen, and even Lu Yan, and they are still living happily. I am still living in Beijing safely, earning my money, and recording my shows , and finally even met Ji Rongfu.

I signed a contract with Huatian for three years, and in the last two years, I was basically in a state of forgetting each other. Ye Xiao, Su Qi, Ye Sangqing, these people were blocked by me because they tried to persuade me to forgive Yin Xi. In Beijing's music circle, drinking, fighting, smoking, and accidentally tried drug use once, and didn't like being a walking dead with a stinky body, so she stayed away from those friends and didn't touch them again. For about a year, Su Ying has been around She picked me up along the bar street, and she had heard me sing, so she often cried to me, probably because of the heart of a Bodhisattva, she felt that my voice should be used to save sentient beings.

Once when I was drunk, she quarreled with me, with a drunk, and only a fool like her could do it.Then I woke up in the middle of the night and saw the moonlight was shining brightly. She was curled up on the sofa at my house with gloves on, probably cleaning up the bathroom that was messed up by my vomiting. Carefully fell asleep.

I always knew she was a good girl, but at that time I suddenly thought, it's better not to make this good girl work so hard.

I am actually a miser, because I am stingy with my kindness, so I often feel that those who sway kindness are very rare. Su Ying and I are actually people from two worlds. She is the kind of person who is rooted in the soil, but For her sake, I often even think that such people are better.Even Xiao Yu loves the house and loves it.

Otherwise, I wouldn't come back today and throw myself into the trap.