Ambiguous addiction

I'm so sleepy, I really want to fall asleep quickly, my head hurts so much, I can't fall asleep, go to sleep quickly, it won't hurt when I fall asleep, no, I can't sleep, it hurts too much.

Ye Xi lay flat on the bed, frowning in pain and closing his eyes tightly, unable to sleep at night.

The headache is like a sewing needle, it goes in from one temple, the needle point travels through the brain, and then passes out from the temple on the other side, stitching back and forth, sewing the unbearable pain firmly on his body. brain.

Ye Xi raised his head slightly and slammed it hard against the pillow a few times, but it didn't work. Then he bent his fingers and pressed his knuckles hard on the painful spot, and the pain was relieved a little. The moment he let out a sigh of relief, he let go of his hand. , the pain will be multiplied and repaid in full, and it will hit him like a wave, making him unable to resist.

Crying with a headache, what a fucking embarrassment.Ye Xi sniffed, and wiped away the physiological tears overflowing from the corners of his eyes with his fingers, but the tears wiped away more and more, soaking his wet fingertips and drawing down the side of his face.

He propped himself up from the quilt, reached out to touch the tissue on the bedside table, wiped away his physical tears and then wiped his nose, then lay back and continued to endure the pain to hypnotize himself.

Only at this time will Ye Xi realize how lonely he is, and how terrifying the boundless loneliness is.

Eyes that have long adapted to the darkness were too sore to open when they touched the lit phone screen. Ye Xi took the phone a little farther away, and adjusted the screen brightness to the lowest level based on his feeling.

He couldn't help asking himself in his heart, what am I doing, am I a person who needs other people to comfort me, are you kidding me, do I still need to prove that I am a person who is cared about by others.

But the fingers followed Yan Qian's heart and clicked on Yan Qian's dialog box, and typed out a line without thinking, [It's nothing, I just miss you so much all of a sudden, I don't know what's wrong with me. 】

Being able to say such words to anyone anytime, anywhere has become a habit, and it does not contain real emotions and feelings, so after Ye Xi sent these words, he felt even more empty in his heart, but when the screen was about to go dark, he returned to the screen again. It lit up, and he clicked on the other party's reply, [I miss you too, do you need me to come over and give you a hug immediately? 】

That's enough, he doesn't need a hug, he just needs to make sure that he is not forgotten.

Ye Xi replied, 【No, it's already late, go to bed early, good night. 】

【Good night, dear. 】

Ye Xi was tormented by headaches for a few days, and he had nowhere to vent his pent-up anger mixed with desire, so two days later in the morning, he accepted someone else's invitation.

At this time, it was still early outside the window, the sky was blue, and the sun was shining.

The lewd/excessive screaming went up and down, and the frequency changed from slow to fast to slow and fast, intermittently coming out of the room, it was transmitted along the air and the solid wall, shaking Lu Churan's eardrums, like a nightmare He mercilessly pulled him out of his deep sleep.

This is the third time this week that he woke up with the sound of crying/bed, more punctual and persistent than his mobile phone alarm, Lu Churan suspected that he was about to lose his mind.

He woke up to the point where the dormant volcano was revived and erupted, and he didn't even have time to change into his pajamas. After finding the key and closing the door, he went down the corridor, and slammed on the door of the door on the next floor in the same direction as his apartment. It took nearly 3 minutes for the person inside to open the door impatiently.

Ye Xi's hair is disheveled, his eyes are cold, his thin but strong and toned upper body is naked, there are scattered ambiguous marks on his chest, his trousers hang loosely around his waist, half covering the clear and distinct mermaid line under his abdominal muscles , there was still a bit of hoarseness left in the voice/desire that had not completely dissipated, with anger mixed in, "Why is it you again?"

"Ha," Lu Churan laughed angrily at his words. This man was ashamed that the villain sued him first and robbed him of his lines. "I asked you this question, right? You have to divide your time and occasion when you do things, right?" , It’s like a slaughterhouse in the morning, do you need me to give you a loudspeaker and you will broadcast it live for the whole community for free?”

"You must be sick." Ye Xi cursed sadly. The last time when Ye Xi was in high spirits, Lu Churan came to knock on the door. She had a bad face but tried to comfort him, which meant that they were too noisy and affected him. sleep quality, but didn’t it affect the quality of my sex life when you knocked on the door when I was sprinting? Do you have any opinions, can you handle it?"

"..." Lu Churan was choked by him immediately, but he quickly reacted and said sharply, "Do you know what noise disturbs the people? You have seriously disturbed my normal life and rest."

Ye Xi's expression was not apologetic, he raised his chin lightly and looked at Lu Churan with a slightly provocative expression.

He originally thought that Lu Churan had a handsome face and a perfect proportion of long legs and shoulder width. Although he was a little taller than himself, and he didn't look like the same kind of dress, but he had a good taste in clothes and felt straight. Where to go, isn't this a taste he hasn't tasted yet.

But at this moment, Ye Xi would not have such thoughts at all. He stood in front of Lu Churan unmoved, without the slightest intention of giving in. When he was about to continue to fight back, someone pulled Ye Xi from behind. He persuaded in a low voice, "Forget it, Ye Xi, stop arguing with him."

Lu Churan saw through the door with sharp eyes that the person was not the one Ye Xi brought home last time, and his face became even more gloomy. No wonder the tone of his voice changed. You fucking harass the neighbors so righteously That's enough, still a promiscuity.

Lu Churan's disgust towards Ye Xi suddenly rose to another level in her heart. This kind of disgust is as if you thought you saw a piece of shit-smelling chocolate, which is actually chocolate after all, but it's bad enough, but when it comes to You eat it and you realize you're eating shit that smells like shit in the shape of chocolate.

In addition to the pleasing appearance, the inside is full of ubiquitous arrogance and shamelessness.

Honesty is precious, and high/tide prices are higher. If it is because of sleep, both can be thrown away.

Lu Churan and Ye Xi glared at each other wordlessly for a while, and then Ye Xi slammed the door, the air in the corridor shook violently, and the voice control light came on.

"Fuck." Lu Churan cursed behind the door, turned around and went upstairs to her own home.

The man named Anson came out of the bathroom after taking a shower, sat on the lap of the dark-faced Ye Xi, kissed the side of his face, and coaxed, "Ye Xi, don't be angry, I will whisper next time." Just one o'clock, you hurry up and change your clothes and we'll go out for breakfast, I recently found a great..."

"Whatever he is doing, who does he think he is, the family planning committee or the auntie of the neighborhood committee, if I make you feel comfortable, just call me, do you still want to hold back?" Ye Xi interrupted him, looking at him in disbelief Asked in a fierce tone.

"I didn't mean that... Ye Xi..." His tone was a little weaker. Ye Xi didn't want to listen to the explanation, so he pulled him to the side in agitation, got up and went into the bathroom, leaving him staring at him in a daze. looking at his back.

After taking a shower and calming down, Ye Xi returned to his usual gentle face, walked out and pulled the aggrieved man with tears in his eyes into his arms, kissed him gently on the forehead, with a gentle and patient tone, "Sorry, I didn't control my emotions just now. I didn't mean to kill you. You didn't do anything wrong, okay? I'll accompany you to have breakfast. Where do you want to go? Well, hurry up and laugh, I You're all wrong, dear."

The person in Ye Xi's arms finally smiled again, put on the clothes he handed over, and was ready to go out for breakfast with him.

The honey in the spoon melts with the stirring action in the warm water, and the transparent water has an even and sweet color.

With a sullen face, Lu Churan reprimanded the phone in a deep voice, "Does he think this is the Clock Hotel? He wants to have a good time and no one will complain. Go fuck him. I think he's just a technician." It sucks, his bedmates sound like fake orgasms."

"Hahahahaha what is a fake orgasm? Lu Churan, you old virgin, don't make it sound like you've slept, okay?"

Ji Er on the other end of the phone was about to burst into tears with laughter, but was warned seriously by Mr. Lu, "Ji Er, is it really okay if you don't sympathize with my experience and still laugh at me in return?"

Ji Er smiled for a full minute before answering, "No, Lu Churan, don't you really think that your sense of humor is directly proportional to your anger index? You just told me that you went downstairs to talk to me. It's not true that he quarreled a few words, how could it be possible to quarrel, the person who quarrels with you will suddenly laugh."

"Ji'er, if you laugh again, I'm going to hang up the phone."

"Okay, okay, I won't laugh at you anymore," Ji'er rubbed the muscles on his face that were sore from laughing, "But I said, don't confront them head-on, after all, you are still neighbors who live up and down, and the relationship is too tense. It’s not good if you can sit down and communicate, then communicate, isn’t your teacher the most reasonable, if it doesn’t make sense, then find the property management to coordinate.”

"I know." Lu Churan sighed softly, took a sip of honey water, the thorn in his heart seemed to be pulled out a little, and arguing with people is really not something he is good at, talking so much in one breath is more tiring than attending class Weary him.

"But I'm thinking too much. When have you ever had a direct conflict with someone? If you have a severe social barrier, if you fight with someone, you can't get a few helpers. It's not that you are not popular, but you just love everyone. Ignore it, it's rare to find someone who can make you angry, I'll visit him if I have the chance..."

"Hey, which side are you on? I don't want to tell you anymore. I'll talk about it when we meet in the afternoon. I have a class and I'm going to go out." After Lu Churan finished speaking, she hung up the phone angrily.

Lu Churan was annoyed at the blacked-out screen for a while, and gradually calmed down from her exhaustion and resistance to complicated interpersonal relationships.

The definition of a friend is not how many people you can call to help you when you are beaten, but how many of those who stand up to help you are really willing to risk their lives for you.

However, everyone's understanding of friends is different. In the eyes of people like Ji Er who have a lot of friends, he and Ye Xi who can call out their names when they meet are considered friends, but for people like Ye Xi Probably those who can sleep are considered ordinary friends.

Lu Churan does not belong to these two types of people. He distinguishes "acquaintances" and "friends" very clearly. The boundaries are clear and do not overstep each other. Good acquaintances are just acquaintances no matter how good they are. Making friends takes effort It is to be responsible, which will inevitably occupy his energy to pay attention to other people.

So either don't make friends, and people who can be called friends can't be treated casually.

At noon, the clear sunlight was cut by the floor-to-ceiling windows and fell mottled to the ground. Ye Xi leaned against the window holding the phone, his words were full of affection, but mixed with indifference that could not be ignored.

"You are very good, really good, I can't even tell you a single shortcoming, you have what I want, but I don't think I can give you what you want, so I don't want your happiness to be delayed. Me, but I will always keep your goodness in my heart. Don't cry, okay? We are still friends, right, but I don't think I can bear it now..."

He turned around, facing the direction where the ink-like light was splashing, and was surrounded by the light. The smile in his eyes was like the temperature of the light, rippling like water waves, spreading slowly, covering far away In the eyes of Qi Nian who was walking in his direction.

"If you cry like this, I will feel distressed. I hope you will be happy. It's not worth affecting your mood for me. Well, I have to work, can I call you when I have time?" Ye Xi whispered again After a few words of coaxing, he finally coaxed Yu Hao who was crying on the phone, hung up the phone and returned to his seat.

"Senior, I saw that you weren't very happy during the regular meeting this morning, but you seemed to be in a good mood just now." Qi Nian came over and put the lemon tea on Ye Xi's table.

"Bring me to drink? Thank you." Ye Xi inserted the straw, took a sip, looked into his eyes and smiled, "Really, you found out, because I came back to see you, of course I'm in a good mood Very good."

Qi Nian pursed his lips when he heard this, and turned his eyes away unnaturally, "Well... Senior, can you help me read the proposal for developing a new fund project? clear."

"I'll teach you." Ye Xi turned his face and whispered in a voice that only they could hear each other, like a gust of warm wind blowing past Qi Nian's ears, and he saw his fair neck turn slightly red.

Ye Xi analyzed several obvious loopholes in the proposal for Qi Nian, and also found out the cases of development fund projects in the past two years for him to compare.

Qi Nian's comprehension ability is very good, and his reaction is fast enough. He didn't even guide him on what to do. Qi Nian could understand the meaning of his words and express his thoughts clearly. His proposals are given full consideration and encouragement on it.

Ye Xi has always been a person who has no psychological burden, so he never gives others a psychological burden. This is not to avoid responsibility, but to avoid risks, just like investment and financial planning, to maximize benefits.

Ye Xi has never had any grudges with anyone, his true emotions are like moss that grows in dark and damp corners, it can only grow freely in places where the sun doesn't even shine.

He can even act like he wants to compromise when he breaks up with others, and it is even more impossible for him to argue with others easily in his daily life, so when he and Lu Churan confronted each other angrily, he was also surprised in his heart, which is very strange Something is wrong.

So he calmed down and regretted almost the moment he slammed the door in the morning, it was just that some remaining anger had not subsided and he couldn't control his anger at others.

Now that Ye Xi has completely calmed down and regained his sanity, he begins to consider remedial measures. He wants to have a good talk with Lu Churan after get off work to resolve the conflict this morning, at least to minimize his negative impression of himself.

Lu Churan is a good-looking man with good conditions in all aspects, even if he can't sleep, he doesn't want to make the relationship with him stiff.

He still knows a little bit about the income level of the tutoring institution teachers, and Lu Churan also opened a Cafe with a friend and has his own shop. Now he can probably find out five investment and financial management options that are suitable for him from the estimation of the man's assets. project.

Everyone could be his potential client, maintain a stable and safe social relationship with them, and gain feelings that do not involve responsibility and benefits that do not involve emotions. This is Ye Xi The rules of survival, nothing more.