Ambiguous addiction

One week before the Mid-Autumn Festival, Ye Xi was called by the general manager to have dinner with those old seniors again, saying that someone had received a highly credible gossip from the Securities Regulatory Commission.

Ye Xi was actually very reluctant in his heart. Although the market was shaken violently, thousands of new stocks were poured into the water from time to time, and the index kept hitting new lows, but the new stock in his project kept going against the trend. If he didn't know anything , even if something really happens in the end, he can still pretend to be muddleheaded. No one will think that there are any clues in it, and no one will hold him accountable. After all, investment is inherently risky.

But then he thought that Lu Churan had 120 million on that project, and he felt uneasy. If he could predict the future situation in advance, at least he could find a way to remedy it in time and minimize Lu Churan's loss as much as possible.

The general manager's face was always very heavy at the dinner, especially after hearing that the senior who released the news said that the China Securities Regulatory Commission decided to deleverage the entire industry, his face was as dark as coal digging, because it meant that the entire financial market Starting to tighten up, the group of new shares that have been demons for half a year are either going to be lowered or go bankrupt and liquidated. Those big companies have to adjust their structures in order to reduce losses, and their subsidiaries are even more dangerous.

Ye Xi added some wine for him, and saw his bitter and bitter expression behind the smoke, "Xiao Ye, that project of yours may not last, if your performance this year depends on the impact of your project on your long-term development. Great, in case the impact of this policy on the industry is too great, there will be layoffs at the headquarters, then your performance this year will be..."

"...I know, I will find a way to solve it, the manager doesn't have to worry." Ye Xi nodded, without emotion, the manager handed him a cigarette, but he didn't take it.

The whole table is not in the mood to eat, everyone is smoking and drinking with their own minds, the future is becoming more and more uncertain, and their industry is on the cliff that is the first to be hit by the storm after the cusp.

Ye Xi usually doesn't let him smoke at home, so he has gotten used to the fresh air during this period of time, but now he is stuck in the middle of a bunch of smokers and is smoked like a smoked salmon, his hair is stained The smell of smoke made his stomach queasy, and he went to the bathroom to get out of the room and walked to the window at the end of the corridor to get some air.

Autumn is getting deeper, and the wind blowing on the face is a bit cooler when the night is dark, and the sky is a bit gloomy. In the dark night, the street lamps and buildings in the distance seem to be inlaid with shining gems.

The phantom of the neon lights of this city is bright everywhere, but there are still mud in the shadows.

He felt that he was like a glamorous mud. For so many years, he had worked hard to get rid of the label that he was a child who grew up under a family tragedy, and used all kinds of seemingly flawless social relationships to whitewash himself to perfection. But no matter how glamorous the appearance is, the essence is still muddy, growing in the lonely darkness and no one cares about it.

Whenever anyone wants to get closer to himself, he will start to be terrified and uneasy when others discover his muddy nature, humble, dirty, cold, and sticky.

Ye Xi looked out the window, his mind was in chaos, and suddenly a mobile phone vibrated to bring him back to his thoughts.

[Baby, I miss you so much, why haven't you been looking for me recently, do you miss me anymore. 】Ye Xi opened WeChat and found out that it was Yan Qian's message. He hadn't contacted him for more than a month, and he even forgot about the existence of this person.

【I miss you too, I'm trying my best to finish my work to see you, how much do you miss me? 】Ye Xi casually typed a few words perfunctorily, without any emotion.

Then Yan Qian sent Ye Xi a selfie with something a little bit like that, with his body barely covered up, posing in a very provocative pose, holding his place in his hand, and added a text after that, [I miss you so much. 】

Ye Xi's stomach turned sour, and he just felt that he was annoying, and his body couldn't provoke any strange emotions from Ye Xi, so he replied with a sentence to send people away, 【Little fairy.I'm going to be busy, I'm really busy, and I'm still having dinner with the leader, are you obedient? ] Without waiting for the other party to reply, he deleted the chat history in annoyance, as if the other party said one more nonsense and he was ready to draw a clear line.

He really couldn't say a word anymore, he just uttered those warm, soft, greasy words like a conditioned reflex, because his past experience told him that in this way others would treat him well and give him some company.

It's like a moth fluttering its wings when it sees the light. It knows that it will be hot and painful when it hits it, but it just tends to the light reflexively. It's better than falling back into the darkness and staying alone in the mud with itself.

But these can no longer continue, those mediocre ways of life that toss their hearts out for money and companionship can no longer continue.

Enough is enough.

He wondered if there would be a person in this world who didn't need him to bother with anything, just stayed where he was, and that person would give him quiet and loving eyes, and he could make demands and complain, If you apologize for doing something wrong, you can be forgiven. No one asks him to be a perfect ambiguous object.

He knew where this man was, but he didn't deserve such a man.

Ye Xi went back to the room along the corridor, and saw two seniors inside who were already drunk and unconscious, and a few who were a little more sober called a driver for them, so he went in and sat beside him and poured tea for them Sober up, the sleepy emotions in his eyes disappeared in a flash.

When Lu Churan received a call at night, Ji Er seemed to be outside, and when he spoke, there was a gust of wind whistling, smashing his words into pieces, "Lu Churan, can you come and pick me up right now?" .”

Ji Er went to the college reunion tonight. After dinner, everyone booked a room to sing K. He Shen was also there and stayed by his side all night, with deep eyes, watching him hesitate to speak.

He was restless by this person's side, he wanted to leave but didn't dare to leave, so he found a chance to get rid of He Shen and called Lu Churan for help.

"Please, Lu Churan, I can't stay with him any longer. All the resurgence of old feelings is to repeat the same mistakes. I ask myself that I will never forget him in this life, but I can't still be with him again." The hope of being together, I can't be entangled with him without any progress after so many years, and then hear his mother come to me and say 'Please let my son go'..."

Lu Churan felt that Ji Er's ambiguity with his ex made him feel anxious even watching from the sidelines. His friend has been sensitive and delicate since he was a child, and always has a lot of scruples in everything. He wanted to please everyone and thoughtful about everything, so he made things difficult for himself. But emotionally, the way of avoiding problems is also used to solve conflicts, how can it be solved.

After Ji Er hung up the phone, he went into the box again, and couldn't help covering his ears, the half-drunk people inside sang like ghosts and wolves.

He found a corner of the sofa to nestle in, and after a while the seat next to him sank, and He Shen sat beside him, his thighs seemed to stick close to him with his body temperature.

The room was bustling with each other, he and He Shen did not speak to each other, maybe they talked occasionally, but no one noticed what they were talking about, and no one could see the expressions on their faces clearly. Suddenly, a male classmate heard a loud voice He yelled into the microphone: "Hey, who ordered this song?"

Ji Er felt the person next to him move, got up and took the microphone handed over by his classmate, he glanced at the familiar back from the corner of his eye, bad emotions kept fermenting and expanding in his chest, after that person sat back beside him, he His eyes were fixed on the screen, his lips were pursed without any expression.

A burst of piano sounds in the prelude passed like flowing water, and He Shen's warm and deep voice sounded in his ears and the stereo at the same time.

"Others are fading out, finally only you and me

I still ask myself about happiness, even though I am angry for you sometimes

In fact, I didn't know each other with you before.

until we spend the troubled century with you

Even if things around you don't make sense

forever with you

You don't let me go, I don't let you go

I want to make sure I'm holding the same arm every day

I dare not die early, I want to stay with you

I have tried enough that parting is not very beautiful

how can i leave you"

Ji Er's eyes suddenly turned red. He had heard the song "Depending on Each Other" before, and dismissed such tragic feelings, but this situation made him feel that every line of the lyrics hit him. He rubbed his sore nose uncomfortably on the wounds in his heart that he was clutching and didn't want to be uncovered again, stood up and lowered his head and opened the door of the box to go out.

Lu Churan was in the pitch-black corridor of the KTV where he couldn't tell the direction. He followed the signs above his head and finally found the box where Ji Er was. The person watching the road slammed his shoulder hard. He just wanted to turn his head to look, but he found that He Shen was chasing after him. When he saw Lu Churan, his expression was still stunned, and then he chased after the person in front without stopping. .

Lu Churan stood on the spot and reacted for a few seconds. He was quite sure that the person in front who bumped into him and ran away was Ji Er, so he followed their direction, but there were no traces of the two people in the corridor, only the strange angle. Dimly lit spotlights cast scattered points on the black floor.

Ji Er was half hugged and half hugged into an empty box, struggled and resisted a few times, stared at the opposite person in the dark, didn't know if it was too long or something, tears began to fill his eyes.

"Are you so cruel that you would rather I marry someone else than want me?" He Shen's voice was painful, and the hand holding Ji'er's shoulder was trembling.

"It's none of my business. Why do you need to tell me? Didn't you even tell me when you were leaving the country? I looked for you at the airport like a lunatic, but..." Ji Er suddenly sobbed, he was uncomfortable He had to cover his mouth with his hands, lowered his head and panted quickly, not wanting to continue talking, but tears were already falling down, he bit his lower lip hard to keep himself calm and not lose control.

But I don't even know where you are going. I am the last one to know that you are leaving when I face the noisy crowd at the airport.

Facing the rest of the mess, I picked out the fragments of memories related to you from the mess, and then I tossed and turned hopelessly and refused to let go during the long wait.

In this way, what I wait for in the end is that you tell me that you are going to get married, and tell me what to do. If you want to get married, you will get married.

He Shen's eyes were also red, and his tone was full of grievances. Those twists and turns that had rotted on the surface were still fresh and dripping blood, "It was you who said first that you don't love me anymore, and my business has nothing to do with you. , if you want to break up with me, do you still care if I go or not?"

"Then why are you coming back, you go, you go get married," Ji Er raised her voice and retorted, her heart ached so much that she could hardly stand upright, she still had to poke the person opposite with her words, "You don't want to show up here again for the rest of your life." In front of me..."

This sentence was completely blocked in his mouth. He Shen gnawed and sucked hard and kissed Ji Er's lips. Ji Er gave up after struggling a few times. His strength was not enough. Shen Da, he grabbed He Shen's clothes and wanted to push him away, but he clearly grabbed his clothes and pulled him closer.

If I said I regretted it a long time ago, would you not be able to leave me?

Lu Churan walked around the winding corridor for three times but couldn't find Ji Er and He Shen. The waiter looked at him with special meaning. He might think he was a plainclothes policeman. Well, if he continues to search, he will call the security guard to chase him away.

He was a little remorseful, he knew that he shouldn't have gotten involved with such an awkward couple, when he was following the signs to find the exit, the phone in his hand suddenly vibrated continuously, he thought it was Ji Er who came back to look for him , looked down and found that the caller was Ye Xi.

"Ye Xi?"

"Lu Churan, I'm sorry, I made a mistake. I want to call the leader for a driver. The first one in the call log is your number, so I accidentally pressed it."

Ye Xi's side was very quiet, but Lu Churan's ears were filled with rumbling noises that bounced off the walls in the long corridor. He hurried to the safe passage, his restless mood was calmed down by Ye Xi. With a smile, "Oh, it turned out to be a typo."

In fact, it’s not a wrong number, I missed you, and I called you because I wanted to hear your voice, but it’s true, and it’s frivolous and unreliable to say it in the mouth of a person who is used to lying, so I can’t so.

Ye Xi walked from the private room to the place waiting for the elevator outside the hotel door, and gently pinched the leaves of the potted plants in front of the hotel, "Well, I didn't see clearly that I made a mistake."

"you're drunk?"

"Well," Ye Xi said the location of the restaurant he was in, "My manager and I are eating here with people who are traveling with us, and they are all old alcoholics. But this restaurant is very good, and the homemade ice cream is delicious. Xiang, invite your sister over to eat next time."

Lu Churan was silent for a few seconds, and said to him: "Don't always miss my sister, can you miss me for a while?"

"Okay," Ye Xi laughed loudly, hearing the sound of traffic passing by on the side of the road from Lu Churan, "Aren't you at home?"

"Well, Ji Er asked me to come out, but he ran away with He Shen, and I was left alone. What about you? Everyone who ate with you has left?"

"Not yet, a few of them vomited from drinking, and now they are lying on chairs and can't stand up. They can't be sent away until they sober up. I can't lift them up even if they weigh more than 140 catties."

"Don't hug if you can. I'm so drunk that I can't stand upright. It's not good if someone falls on you. If you fall on you, you will be flattened."

The two talked on the phone for a while, Ye Xi raised his hand to check the time, and then took a look into the room. The drunk and fainted person in the room started to wake up. He was going to go downstairs to see if the valet driver had arrived. Say goodbye to Lu Churan, "It's getting late, you should go home."

The background noises behind Lu Churan's deep voice seemed to overlap with those in his ears. Ye Xi couldn't help but wonder if he was so drunk that he had delusions. Lu Churan said, "Well, let's do another thing. Just go home."

"what are you going to do?"

"You look down."

Ye Xi lowered his eyes and saw Lu Churan standing at the foot of the long stairs at the entrance of the hotel, holding the phone and smiling at him, but against the blurry night, his figure was as clear as light.

Lu Churan appeared unexpectedly, as if the night sky was suddenly full of stars that suddenly broke into Ye Xi's line of sight, lighting up his dark pupils.

Ye Xi's heart beat wildly, and he walked down unsteadily, staring at Lu Churan motionlessly, with an unreserved smile spreading across his face, as he walked, his eyes suddenly became wet.

"You look at me like this, why do you look like a kid waiting at the gate of the kindergarten to be picked up by his parents from school." Lu Churan smiled, it turned out that Ye Xi would become so cute after being drunk.

"You're finally here to pick me up, Dad." Ye Xi stopped in his tracks, bit his lips and held his breath and smiled secretly, waiting for Lu Churan's reaction, and desperately jumped down from the fourth step, being caught by Lu Churan. Then he opened his arms and caught it firmly, holding him tightly in his arms.

Lu Churan thought he heard it wrong, "What did you call me?"

Ye Xi's lips were pressed against Lu Churan's shoulder, but his nasal cavity became sore, and he repeated in a murmur, "You're finally here to pick me up, Dad."