Ambiguous addiction

When Ji Er came out of the lounge and went to the kitchen to help Lu Churan take out the noodles, Ye Xi arrived, greeted Ji Er very kindly, walked to Lu Churan and was about to sit down, but was kicked away by Lu Churan handwashing.

When he returned to the table, Ji Er wore a pair of black-rimmed glasses to cover up his swollen eyes, which made him look a little more refined and bookish than usual, and it was indescribably pleasing to the eyes.

So Ye Xi also finds it a bit strange, for such a man who is beautiful no matter how hard he goes, with a gentle personality, successful career, and a deep love for his lover, how could his ex be willing to give up on him to marry someone else, and even elope with him? It's too late, right?

Ji Er lowered his head and picked up a piece of noodles with chopsticks, hot steam immediately came out of the hot soup, forming a layer of white mist on his glasses, "Ah, I can't see anything, I've been wearing glasses for a whole day, you cook What kind of noodles to eat, Lu Churan, are you trying to find fault?"

Lu Churan looked at him indifferently, but turned to look at Ye Xi, "Eat when you're hungry, and leave him alone."

Ye Xi looked at his bowl of beef soba noodles, and looked at Lu Churan a little embarrassedly. Lu Churan saw that he didn't eat with his chopsticks for a long time, and then turned to ask him what's wrong.

"I'm a bit reluctant to eat it." Ye Xi replied softly, and murmured even softer, "You did this for me."

Someone is willing to do something for you, even if it is a small thing, after adding a prefix of "for you", that thing will inexplicably start to affect yourself, with deep meaning and affection, as if you are a worthy person Ye Xi couldn't help being a little obsessed with that feeling, just like a treasure that others give and love.

Lu Churan's calm face couldn't help but rippled into a smile, "Oh, so you were praying before cooking, thanking the 'Lord' for giving you food, that's enough, the 'Lord' knows, you can start. "

Ji Er kept silent, pretending that he had no sense of existence, and dimly saw Lu Churan rubbing Ye Xi's head on the opposite side through the thick foggy lens. Ye Xi lowered his eyes and smiled shyly and warmly, which made him feel a little uncomfortable. I am so embarrassed to read it, and I am very grateful that the fog on the glasses automatically made a mosaic for him.

Ye Xi started to eat noodles with his head down, Lu Churan picked out the lettuce from his own bowl and put it in his bowl, "Eat more vegetables."

"Hmm." Ye Xi chewed the sliced ​​beef in his mouth, looked up and realized that the food in Lu Churan's bowl was not beef, and turned to ask him, "What is this?"

"Pork cutlet." Lu Churan picked up another piece of fried pork cutlet and wanted to put it in his bowl, but Ye Xi immediately stopped him, "Don't put it in the soup, it won't be crispy if it's soft."

Then he opened his mouth and waited for Lu Churan to feed him. The fried pork chops were crispy and well-marinated. Lu Churan asked him again, "Is the beef delicious?"

Ye Xi nodded heavily, looked at Lu Churan with those clear eyes, turned away before his heartbeat started to rush, and put his own beef into Lu Churan's bowl, "It's delicious, try it too .”

Looking at the two people eating each other's bowls as if nothing had happened, Ji Er curled his lips silently and did not speak, feeling that his wattage as a light bulb had suddenly increased exponentially.

Ye Xi rushed back to the company after eating the noodles. He was in a hurry and forgot to bring his mobile phone. He unlocked the car and remembered it. When he turned around, his lips were pressed by something soft and hot, and acupuncture points were pressed. He seemed to be in the same place.

Lu Churan took a step back in embarrassment, stuffed the phone into his hand, his face seemed to be a little red, "I forgot to bring it."

"Well, I forgot to bring it." Ye Xi took the phone with a flustered expression and subconsciously licked his lips. Lu Churan carefully observed his expression, and then his eyes fell on his lips again.

He also stuffed a bottle of unopened water into Ye Xi's hand, rubbed his head, "Don't forget to drink water."

"Well, then I'm leaving." Ye Xi nodded, and said goodbye to Lu Churan, but did not move away.

Lu Churan was still standing there looking at him, feeling a little feathery in her heart, and her emotions were slowly sinking.

Ye Xi bit his lower lip and hesitated for two seconds, took the initiative to take a step forward and stretched out his arms to hug him for a short time. There was no mistake in his movements, but his mind seemed to be in a knot, and the words he said were bumpy, "I, then I ,gone."

Lu Churan was in a good mood again, the feather fell to the bottom and was blown up again by an inexplicable wind, he followed Ye Xi's movements and hugged him before he retreated, a little bit reluctant It seemed to tighten tightly, and a light kiss fell on his earlobe, "Well, be careful on the road."

"It's itchy, you're blowing air into my ear." Ye Xi rubbed his ears that were starting to heat up, frowned and gave him a weird look as if he wanted to laugh, turned around and opened the car door to get in, and looked at the car window. The man waved his hand, started the car and left as if fleeing.

After turning off the fire in the parking lot downstairs of the company, he sat alone in the car for a long time, touched his face and found himself smiling, laughing like a fool in a place where no one else could see, Strange emotions bubble up from the bottom of the boiling water like bubbles.

Not humiliation, not boredom, not struggle, not chagrin, but "It's nice that he hugged me."

Everything seems to be the same as before, but it seems to be completely different.

Ye Xi is still Ye Xi, addicted to ambiguity, caring equally for everyone, sensitive to detect and cater to the needs of others, in fact there will be no disturbance in his heart, selfish and numb to please others and cope with those desires Feedback is welcome.

But he felt panicked like never before in front of Lu Churan, his emotions were affected, but he couldn't find a suitable place to put it.

He didn't know what Lu Churan needed from him when he looked at him like that and said nothing, and what he could give in exchange for his happiness and satisfaction.

If it were someone else, he would only feel that since the other party made him feel a little bit bothered and uncomfortable, then just find an excuse to alienate him, since he didn't owe him anything anyway, why make himself uncomfortable.

But this man is different, he is not someone else.

Anyone with a little bit of conscience can't bear to hurt someone who is sincerely good to him. Even if it's not so hypocritical, he still wants to call what little he has left as precious and beautiful. Offered with both hands.

So what should a person do if there is no beauty at all?

Standing in front of this person, Ye Xi felt that he had been subverted. Everything, everything, which he thought was normal in his cognition before, was ambiguous, but in front of that person's eyes, he also showed his ugly nature.

Lu Churan is like a mirror. Standing in front of him, Ye Xiguang fully reveals the dark nature and bad nature in his heart. Those who are kind to others on the surface are just like a clumsy little trick.

He couldn't see what could be called good in himself at all, even the purpose of connecting with others was tainted with the stench of money.

He felt like a monster covered in spots and thorns, he didn't dare to get too close to Lu Churan, for fear that Lu Churan would scare him away when he saw his face clearly.

He wanted to say "I'm sorry I may not be able to give you what you want" or "I'm sorry I'm not the one you like", but because of his cowardice, he couldn't express his true thoughts honestly, and he felt empty in his heart. Feel the real sense of existence, more and more feel self-defeating.

But Lu Churan didn't ask him for anything, even though he looked like he had nothing, even lack, but Lu Churan still looked at him with joy and satisfaction in his eyes.

That's why he tentatively hugged, wanted to learn to express gratitude like a normal person, to see if it would make him feel better, or make himself look less annoying, and then immediately got Lu Churan more Hug back attentively.

He was happy and embarrassed in his heart, it was obviously a fake, and he was always treated as a treasure by him, but he was so dependent on this feeling of being treated as a treasure, he didn't know what to do.

When Lu Churan returned to the store, Ji Er was making coffee. The people who had lunch at noon had almost dispersed, and the store returned to its usual tranquility. He poured the dark brown clear translucent liquid from the pot into two small cups , Hooked the ear of the cup and took it outside, gave Lu Churan a cup, the smile on his face was a little playful, "I said you two are a bit too self-absorbed, don't take care of my lover who is about to marry someone else single dog."

"I... do we have any?" Lu Churan asked hesitantly.

Ji Er took a sip of coffee, "Don't you think Ye Xi is a bit different, isn't it a bit, it's very different."

Lu Churan said "ah" inexplicably, looking at Ji Er and waiting for his next words.

"I still remember that the first time you talked about Ye Xi with me, you thought he was very bad. Although it is not annoying, but there is no special liking for him, which made me think he is a person who looks very annoying. I didn't expect him to be such an eye-catching person, so I understand why you think he has shortcomings but don't hate him anymore, after all, you are so superficial."

"That can't be said in the same way. It's hard to forgive a person who disturbs my sleep just by relying on superficiality." Lu Churan said, "In fact, he and I get along well except for this matter. very good."

"That's right, so there's another point involved, when you first brought him into the shop, the attitude towards him was already very natural, and there was an innate kinship with him— It is the kind of intimacy that comes from the heart to strangers that is completely opposite to your social barriers, so you don’t resist his approach at all, and even take the initiative to accept it. You are too uncomplicated, I don’t mean you It's plain, but you're already very old, and your personality is still very sharp. It's obvious that anyone with good social skills can please you, but whether you have the qualifications to please you depends on whether you are willing to be liked by the other party."

Lu Churan looked a little confused, "So Ye Xi became like this because of my problem?"

"It can be said that even if it's not because of your problem, he has the closest relationship with you. Ye Xi is very mature, but his maturity is sophisticated and smooth, which doesn't match his age at all, like someone in his 30s or 40s. The little old man, he said what he said as if he had rehearsed ten times in his heart before he said it, without any flaws or emotions. But when he was in front of you just now, his ignorant and straightforward eyes and tone of voice were like A teenager who knows nothing about the world, that kind of unconscious intimacy is completely different from deliberate and premeditated flattery, and it only happens in front of you. Does he have a mouth to let me feed him? Does he have beef? Give it to me too, no, he didn’t look at me from the beginning to the end except he came in and said hello to me. His emotions in front of you are very real, so real that he looks a little clumsy, a little cute, and It's not like the original Ye Xi..."

That is to say, a person with a delicate mind like Ji Er can see so many things in just over half an hour. Lu Churan couldn't help interrupting his long speech, "The point is, do you think he has a little bit for me? I like it, is there any need for me to continue being so ambiguous with him?"

"I don't think it's useful. What he's looking at is you and not me. I don't think it's useful for you as a party to be uncertain. Since the time has not come, don't think too much or too little now. Don't hope too much but don't despair too much, in this ambiguous time, hold yourself steady, let nature take its course, and enjoy this ambiguity."

"Kiss yourself, why...kiss?" Lu Churan blushed a little.

Ji Er almost choked on the coffee, covered his heart and coughed, "Fuck, I said steady, steady steady!"

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