Immediately after the death of the master

We have changed with the false shell of aristocrats. If you can't seize power and gather wealth, even if you imitate the behavior of the aristocrats perfectly, you still can't become an aristocrat.

In other words, if the aristocratic attitude cannot bring about power and status, it is worthless waste in my eyes.

Because of this kind of thinking, there was indeed sarcasm and contempt in my previous demeanor, and I didn't intend to hide it before. We are both servants, I just don't agree with your three views, what's wrong?

However, after becoming Ji Sanqing's subordinate, I "behaved".I hide that disdain in my heart, and gather the sharp thorns in my soft heart.I always remember the character design that made the butler laugh. From the time I entered the courtyard of the Jifu, I was the simple, honest, at a loss, little plum who needed someone to take care of the butler. When necessary, I could even He didn't care about his own face, and played a few monkey scenes for them who were fellow servants, making them laugh out loud.

He never refuses when he can agree, and never makes a sad face when he can smile stupidly. Relying on his own brute strength, he tries his best to help this group of "young masters and young ladies" who are helpless.

This time, in less than two weeks, I got involved with them.

You see, as long as you hide your sincerity, communication between people is not that difficult.

The first person who discovered that I didn't have heart-to-heart relationship with the people in the courtyard was not the servants who saw me up and down, nor Xiaozhu who had been protecting me all the time, but Ji Sanqing who was tired of being in the study every day.

During an outing, Ji Sanqing pulled me aside and talked to me.

"Do you know that everyone is actually a little afraid of you?"

"Ah? Why, are you scared by my appearance?" I wrinkled my face aggrievedly, and complained pitifully, "But this kind of thing is ordained by the heavens, and the little ones have no way to decide!"

"It's not for this reason." Ji Sanqing scratched his head, and finally figured out how to explain it to me, "Well, show me some expressions, and I'll tell you to do it."

Although I can't understand Ji Sanqing's deep meaning, I am still willing to listen to his orders.

"When you're happy."

I immediately opened the corners of my mouth, curved my eyebrows and eyes, and tried my best to share the joy and brightness in my heart with others.

"When you're pretending to be dumb." Ji Sanqing looked a little serious.

I drooped the corners of my eyes, pulled my nose up, arched my back slightly, scratched the back of my head with one hand, and was a little helpless with the other, with a flattering smile on the corner of my mouth.

"...to see the most hated person."

Ji Sanqing's voice was a little dry.

My head hangs slightly, my slightly opened eyes are squinting upwards, my gaze is like a snake, and the atmosphere around me is as cold as an ice cellar.

Ji Sanqing took half a step back, and after regaining consciousness, he stabilized his body, he let out a long sigh, and stood back in front of me again, he reached out and rubbed my hair.

"You have a good intuition. It's really cute that you pretend to be dumbfounded and giggle." Ji Sanqing looked at me with a complicated look, and he put his hand on my head slightly, "However, with all emotions and six desires, your face and expression, are you serious? Can you change at will?"

"The actors on the stage can do it so vividly, I just need to learn it with my heart, why can't I do it well?"

I looked up and looked at him puzzled.

"Reality is different from drama," he said.

"What is the difference?"

Ji Sanqing lowered her eyes and said nothing, the hands pressing on my head became harder and harder, and I felt a little pain.

After a long time, Ji Sanqing finally let go of me. He took a deep breath and lay on his back on the spring grass.

"You are right, but I have fallen into confusion. Life is pure and ugly, absurd, and reality is an out-of-tune drama."

If I don’t understand, I don’t understand, and I can’t pretend, I stood there blankly.But Ji Sanqing didn't care if I understood or not, he patted the grass beside him and motioned me to lie down with him.When I was young, it could be said that I grew up in the mud, so naturally I didn’t pay so much attention. Like him, I also lay down on the grass in a big shape.

When I go out for a spring outing, I naturally choose a day with good weather, and the sun is also good today. When I just lay down, my eyes were almost blinded by the sun.Careful Ji Sanqing stretched out his hand and covered my eyes for me. In an instant, my eyes changed from bright yellow to complete darkness. In this darkness, Ji Sanqing told me.

"Little brother, do you know that you have the potential to become a sycophant?"

"What is a sycophant?"

"That's not important. What's important is that you don't even think about it when you're under my command. I'll keep an eye on you."

When pretending has become a habit, I subconsciously show a joking look. This reaction is not out of my heart, but to please others. Ji Sanqing can naturally see that he half sat up, Angrily, he poked my forehead hard with his finger.

"You take back your set in front of me, or I will punish you for copying "The Analects of Confucius"!"

Among the many subsets of scriptures, the one I dislike the most is "The Analects of Confucius". Ji Sanqing just took advantage of me to threaten me.

But I really don't want to copy.

So, just listen to him.

92,

After I took off the heavy armor, I tried to let go of the arrogance and inferiority in my heart, and communicated with others sincerely. After a period of discomfort, the servants in Ji San Qingyuan really became closer to me.

When the elder brother of the guard taught me martial arts, when the elder sister of the maid secretly stuffed things for me, when Xiaozhu pulled my sleeve to talk to me, when Ji Sanqing glanced at us with a smile from the open window of the study.

Every time at this time, there will be a warm current gushing from my chest, the whole person is warm, even the air has a sweet smell, that is the first time I understand that the relationship between people is like this the warmth.

After a long time, I realized that that is love.

It's supple, warm, and subtle.

It is the company of others, the joy of sharing, and the sincerity in exchange for sincerity.

Ask yourself, do I like love?Like the feeling of loving someone?Do you like the feeling of being loved?

Like it, of course I like it, but the time I got love and learned to love... was too late.

Late - I have completely given up any extravagant expectations for him, and turned to pursue those foreign objects that will not betray me.Love came too late in my life, I will not give up the path I chose for it.

As early as the moment I decided to leave Wuchao, I had already decided on my future, and any subsequent touches would not change my original choice and give up the reason for my existence.

Therefore, when I feel love from Ji Sanqing, emptiness follows, when that sweet wave surges in my chest, my heart is empty, it is clamoring, it is crying It's forcing me to make crazy decisions.

My personality has decided that Ji Sanqing and I can only be businessmen, that fleeting glimpse from far away.

From the day we met, we were doomed to be separated soon.

93,

It's just that I didn't expect that my separation from Ji Sanqing would come so early, so early that we didn't have time to really know each other.

In the second month after I transferred to Ji Sanqing's staff, in the late spring when the flowers were in full bloom, Xiaozhu hugged me and cried out on a starless night.

He cried and told me that Ji Sanqing was going to Zhongshan as an envoy, and this envoy was extremely dangerous, so big that it was very possible that he would not be able to come back alive.

Xiaozhu's crying is not like a baby's reckless cry, but a thin, weak, silent cry. Looking at Xiaozhu's sad look, I have been with him for so many days and I feel the same way as him , heartache unbearable.After spending more than half an hour, I finally comforted the exhausted Xiaozhu to sleep.

Blow out the candle, change his clothes, I took advantage of the moonlight to find Ji Sanqing.

I know that with my identity, I am powerless to change any of Ji Sanqing's decisions, but...Xiao Zhu has been with Ji Sanqing for so many years, so Ji Sanqing can't even ignore Xiao Zhu's thoughts at all.

Although I know the chances are slim, I am still willing to give it a try to see if there is room for change in this matter.

The moon is in the middle of the sky, Ji Sanqing is still staying in the study, through the light-transmitting door, I call softly:

"Eldest son?"

"Who is it, it's so late."

The sound of writing, the sound of clothes rubbing, the sound of shoes stamping, the closed door was opened in front of me, Ji Sanqing stood in the bright candlelight, Ruyu's face shone with soft light.

Looking at such a young man, thinking that he will be on the way, the sweetness in my chest is no longer sweet, but a bitter liquid, that liquid has corroded almost my entire body, making my movements extremely sluggish.My dark, thin face was wrinkled into a ball, and I knew this expression must be extremely ugly. When I was at the blacksmith, every time I showed this expression, I would be beaten harder.

I don't like this expression, I hate this expression, I thought I would never show this expression again, but, in front of Ji Sanqing, I couldn't help it.

Looking at me so ugly, Ji Sanqing didn't show any expression, but welcomed me into the study with great worry.

"Little brother, what's wrong?"

He took me to sit by the desk and poured me a cup of steaming tea.Holding the tea in my hand, I suppressed the urge to cry out loud, and asked cautiously with an expression as normal as possible:

"My lord, are you...going to Zhongshan Kingdom?"

People in Dayu Kingdom in China don’t know that our country and Zhongshan Kingdom have been fighting for years, which is a blood feud from generation to generation. Zhongshan Kingdom even killed many princesses we sent there for marriage, let alone envoys.Even a short-sighted person like me knows that this mission is so dangerous that it can almost be called