The Swan Bay Murders

Sometimes I think over and over again what kind of life is waiting for me in the future.

Is it getting better and better, or completely mired in the quagmire.

It's not that he didn't think about suicide, especially after Berlin died.

It's just that people are timid, and unless it's the most desperate time, they still don't want to die.

So, maybe I should thank myself for being weak and avoiding all the time, because I dare not die, so I was pushed by life to come to the present.

Brother Bai Chuan asked me if I wanted to try treatment, which was a question I had never thought about.

It was after he asked this sentence that I realized that I was really wrong.

If I had been braver when I was with Berlin, maybe nothing would have happened later.

Nothing worse can happen now, my life has hit rock bottom and I have nothing to lose.

So I told Brother Bai Chuan that I was willing to try, but the worst result would be to maintain the status quo.

Brother Bai Chuan invited a friend of his, and we made an appointment in the box of the coffee shop.

This surprised me, I thought it would be in his office or home.

This doctor is also different from what I imagined. He looks young, wearing round glasses, not as tall as me, and carrying a backpack. He looks more like a college student.

"I've been waiting for you for a long time." As soon as the man came in, Brother Bai Chuan immediately stood up.

I also stood up and greeted very politely: "Hello, my name is Li Jiangluo."

He looks very cute, probably because he ran up, his fair little face was flushed.

"Hello, hello, I'm Yi Li." He looked at me and smiled, then took off the backpack, and Brother Bai Chuan naturally reached out to pick it up and put it aside for him.

They should be very familiar, perhaps old friends for many years.

Brother Bai Chuan called the waiter, ordered him a cup of coffee, and we chatted casually.

"Jiang Luo is more handsome than I imagined!" Yi Li looked at me with a smile and asked, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

I felt a little embarrassed, so I quickly looked at Brother Bai Chuan.

Brother Bai Chuan snapped his fingers in front of him and laughed at him: "Don't be so unruly, you'll scare Jiang Luo, our family."

"Your family?" Yi Li smiled meaningfully.

"Hurry up and close your mind." Brother Bai Chuan finished speaking, just when the waiter brought the coffee, after he went out, the atmosphere between us finally sank.

Yi Li asked me: "Did you come here on your own initiative or were you forced to come here by Xing Baichuan?"

I glanced at Brother Bai Chuan, still feeling a little uneasy: "I took the initiative."

He nodded, pointed to the door and said to Brother Bai Chuan, "I'll have a chat with Jiang Luo alone, you go out."

Now I panicked even more, and hurriedly stretched out my hand to pull Brother Baichuan's cuff.

He patted the back of my hand lightly, and said softly, "I'm at the table at the door of the box, I'm fine."

He went out, leaving me and Yi Li who met for the first time.

"Are you nervous?" Yi Li held the coffee cup in both hands and smiled.

His eyes are also very cute, and they turn into crescent moons when he smiles.

Such a smile can easily infect the people around, I looked into his eyes and relaxed slowly.

"Actually, don't be nervous. We're just chatting casually today." Yi Li leaned forward and said in a low voice, "To be honest, you really have a lot of face. Xing Baichuan hasn't talked to me for two years, and you even took the initiative because of you." contact me."

I didn't understand what he meant, so I asked, "Did you quarrel?"

"It's a breakup!" Yi Li said with a suppressed smile, "I can't tell, I'm his ex-boyfriend."

My heart skipped a beat for no apparent reason.

Yi Li smiled again, picked up the cup and took a sip of coffee, and said, "We have been together for several years, but the result has become more and more dull. I like excitement, and he is so boring. In the end, we can only break up."

I didn't express any opinion, but I disagree with him saying that Brother Bai Chuan is boring.

Of course, it may also be because I am as boring as Brother Bai Chuan.

"Are you interested in hearing about me?" He looked at me, and opened his mouth to pull me back, who was wandering in the sky.

I nodded, but not really interested.

"My mother sold me when I was a child." I was surprised when he said it, and I looked at him in disbelief.

"Really, I seemed to be only ten years old." Yi Li said nonchalantly, "The person who bought me was a pervert and tortured me terribly. Later, when I was 12 years old, he was hit and killed, isn't it? deserve it?"

I sympathized with him a little, and suddenly discovered that I am not the only person suffering in this world, there are many more, more terrible things than what I have experienced are constantly happening.

"However, he has a bit of conscience. He made a will from the day I arrived at his house. When he died, all the money belonged to me." Yi Li took another sip of coffee, then shrugged his shoulders and said, "But it didn't How much."

"And what happened next?" I asked.

Seeing that I was interested, he simply sat next to me: "Later, I became a psychiatrist by virtue of my intelligence and hard work!"

I didn't know how to answer his words, so I could only look at him stupidly.

He fell to the side laughing, pushed me and said, "Jiang Luo, you are so cute!"

Looking at the person who collapsed on the sofa laughing, I really can't imagine that he is 30 years old, one year older than Brother Bai Chuan, and I can't imagine what he will be like when he is with Brother Bai Chuan, a quiet Looking at files, the other may be unwilling to be lonely and looking for someone to play games with.

"Jiang Luo." He stopped laughing, and suddenly became serious, "Actually, I just want to say that all seemingly difficult hurdles will become easier when you decide to lift your feet. The scary thing is not in front of you. is an obstacle, but you simply don’t have the courage to overthrow him, am I right?”

I looked at him, although I doubt his professionalism, but I must admit that this sentence is correct.

Chatting with Yi Li, you may not get used to his rambunctious character at first, but it is undeniable that he is really cute.

Brother Bai Chuan and I said goodbye to him, and Brother Bai Chuan asked, "Where are you going next? How about I see you off?"

"No need." Yi Li was carrying a backpack and kept sending messages, "I'm going to the library, it's very close to here, and it's not long before I walk there."

"Okay, then we don't care about you, we will contact you later." Brother Bai Chuan called me and drove away.

On the way home, Brother Bai Chuan asked me: "What are you two talking about? I can hear him laughing outside."

I wanted to make a joke with him, so I said, "I'm talking about you, about your love history."

"Ah?" Brother Bai Chuan was stunned for a moment, and then laughed immediately, "He didn't say bad things about me, did he?"

"He said you ignored him for the past two years." I'm actually curious, even if a person like Brother Bai Chuan breaks up, he will probably be very gentlemanly to send a message during the holidays. Could it be that he has too much affection for Yi Li? , so had to make a clean break?

"...He really said bad things about me." Brother Bai Chuan looked helpless, "It's because I ignored him. After we broke up, he was busy with work and looking for a man, so he didn't have time to talk to me at all!"

I looked at him and smiled, suddenly feeling very envious of them.

Although we broke up, we can still talk about each other so comfortably, and we are like two old friends when we meet each other.

I can't help but think, if Berlin didn't commit suicide and I found out about his cheating, what would have happened to us?

If he hadn't been sick, we would have broken up.

But he is infected with AIDS, maybe I will stay by his side, although I blame him, I still have to take care of him.

As Yi Li said, our meeting this time was just a casual chat. I don’t know if their psychiatrists like to play tricks like this, or if this is a way to open up the patient’s psychology.

In the next few days, Yi Li often sent me WeChat messages, where he went to play, and what interesting people and things he met, and I began to be willing to communicate with him, because he was so sincere.

Brother Bai Chuan saw that I was always answering messages with my mobile phone, so he curiously asked me if I was particularly busy recently.

Seeing his guilty look, I actually found it amusing.

"Not busy." I said, "I was chatting with Yi Li, and he asked me to hang out with me later."

"...Just you two?" Brother Bai Chuan shifted his gaze from the laptop screen to my face, it's really rare for this man to look surprised.

Like a child who has pulled off a prank, I nodded and said, "Yeah, just the two of us."

Brother Bai Chuan was silent for a while, and then said: "I'll be fine in a while, I'll go with you."

"But Yi Li said it's just the two of us..."

"He's not reliable." Brother Bai Chuan took out a cigarette and said, "I'm afraid he'll sell you out."

We certainly don't hang out, I'm not at the point where I can hang out with a guy I've only met once.

I chatted with Yi Li for a while, but most of the time he was talking and I was listening.

And his topics basically revolve around Brother Bai Chuan. Sometimes he laughs at Brother Bai Chuan for taking things too seriously, and sometimes he blames him for being uninterested. Occasionally I will retort a few words, and he will ask me: "What should you do?" You don't like him, do you?"

"Of course not." I explained, "Brother Bai Chuan is like my own brother, he is not as boring as you said."

"Oh." Yi Li snorted twice and said, "Hey, my date is here, so I won't chat with you for now, see you tomorrow."

He hung up the phone quickly before I could say goodbye to him.

We made an appointment to meet tomorrow in his temporary office. The reason why we say it is temporary is because Yi Li just happened to be sent here to communicate.

I will be going back to Vancouver soon.

He told me that he met a man in a bar a few days ago, and he was deeply in love with him. Recently, the two of them are in perfect harmony.

I'm not interested in hearing him talk about other men. It seems that after he broke up with Brother Bai Chuan, he never had a serious relationship.

I don't like this kind of life, but it's other people's business after all, I can't control it.