The Swan Bay Murders

I don't know what to do to be good to Jiang Luo.

Whenever I thought he was getting better, I inadvertently discovered that he was not.

His problem is not only the pain of Berlin's death, but also his long-term physical and psychological ill health.

Originally, I wanted to thank him face to face for receiving the gift, but I saw an unbelievable scene through the crack of the door.

I know that peeping is not a gentleman's work, but it reminds me of Jiang Luo's previous experience of swallowing pieces of paper like crazy.

Although I can't empathize with him, I know that he is always in pain.

This matter can no longer be avoided, we must face it.

"Jiang Luo, maybe you think I'm meddling and invading your privacy, but I still want to try to talk to you." I put out my cigarette, sat on the bed, and deliberated over the words that came to my lips. The second time, "About your illness, have you gone to the hospital for a proper examination?"

I looked at Jiang Luo, he seemed to be trembling, with his head down, his hands clenched into fists.

To be honest, I also feel that I am too lenient. After all, there is no real relationship between us at all, but I don't want to see him always like this, a good man, living in pain and struggle.

I am afraid, afraid that one day Jiangluo will become the second Berlin, and leave forever after taking root in our world.

He never responded to me, and I didn't dare to press him. I've done more and more things like this.

I stood up, gently stroked his back and said, "If you don't want to say it, I won't force you. Are you tired? Go back and go to bed early."

He didn't move for a long time, and I started to worry.

I squatted down in front of him and put my palm on the back of his hand.

Jiang Luo's hands were icy cold, as if he had just returned from a world of ice and snow. I began to feel uneasy and felt that I had done something wrong.

"Jiang Luo, are you okay?" I asked softly, and then tried to warm his hands, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked this."

That's probably how it feels to do something wrong with good intentions.

I regretted it so much that I kept scolding myself in my heart for why I was prying into other people's privacy.

"Jiang Luo..."

"Brother Bai Chuan."

He suddenly grabbed me with his backhand, and when I looked up, his lips were trembling.

I quickly held his hand, comforted him and said, "It's okay, Jiang Luo, I'm to blame for this, I shouldn't ask you."

He stared at me with a very sad expression on his face.

I suddenly wanted to hug him, and then comfort him like comforting a wounded child, telling him that there is nothing to be afraid of, and I am still here.

But I can't.

His appearance was too painful, his eyes were red but no tears flowed, his lips seemed to have been bitten by himself, he grabbed my hand extremely hard, and his nails dug into my skin.

"Jiang Luo..." I still called him softly.

"No." He spit out these two words lightly.

I froze for a moment, and then realized that this was his answer to me.

He breathed heavily, then slowly let go of my hand.

He said: "I went to the doctor once when I was 17, and that's when I found out that I still have this disease."

He let go of me, spread his palms flat on his lap, and looked down at the backs of his hands.

I raised my hand to wipe the sweat from his forehead, since he is willing to speak out, it is a good thing.

"It's a psychological barrier, isn't it?" I asked him boldly, a little afraid that he would have the same reaction just now.

But this time he didn't, but nodded slightly.

After squatting for a long time, my legs became numb, so I stood up and rubbed my legs, then sighed.

"Jiang Luo, haven't you and Berlin tried to think of a way before?"

He still shook his head.

During this period of getting along, I have a little understanding of Jiang Luo. He likes to escape when encountering things, and Berlin is the kind of person who never digs into other people's minds. Even Jiang Luo's disease is unknown.

After a five-year relationship, my younger brother is worthy of being a boyfriend, he is really competent.

"Berlin never dared to mention this matter to me." Jiang Luo got better, and his voice was not so trembling, "When we were first together, he asked me what caused it once, but I didn't tell him at the time, but later He never asked again."

I'm not qualified to ask about Jiang Luo's illness, but I thought maybe I should help him.

"If it can be cured, would you like to try it?" I asked tentatively.

He hesitated, and clenched his hands again.

I interrupted his thoughts before he reacted too violently, and walked over to him and pulled him into my arms.

Jiang Luo probably didn't expect that I would make such a move, his whole body tensed up.

I stroked his hair and said to him: "You can think about it slowly, don't rush to answer me, if you don't want to, I won't force you, but if you want to try, I will do my best to help you." you."

He didn't speak, and his breathing was light and heavy.

I let him go, put my palms on top of his head, and said with a smile: "Don't be burdened, this is what a family member should do."

Jiang Luo went back to sleep, I don't know if he can really fall asleep.

I have insomnia, and my mind is full of the appearance of him sweating with clenched fists.

The back of my hand was scratched by his nails, dotted with blood.

It's really painful, but it's also exhilarating.

I know that these small marks are insignificant compared to the pain in Jiang Luo's heart. I want to see him get better, not only because of his appetite or weight, but also his psychology.

Only when a person is mentally healthy can he be truly healthy.

But I also know that his problem has existed for many years, and it is impossible to solve it overnight.

I checked the time, picked up my phone and sent a message to my friend.

No matter what Jiang Luo's plan is, I have to prepare for what I can do for him.

Everything was connected and I was finally back in bed again.

On one side, I saw a photo of Berlin on the table. That face was seven points like mine, with a sunny smile.

I retracted my gaze and closed my eyes, but I still couldn't erase his helpless and crazy look from my mind. How much pain does a person have to be like him?

I suddenly felt a little dazed, wondering if I was too devoted to Li Jiangluo.

This time I slept until noon, until my mother came to ask me to eat.

Tossing until that time at night, when I woke up, I had a splitting headache.

My dad was watching the rebroadcast of the Spring Festival Gala, and he also enjoyed watching the sketches that were obviously not interesting.

See me out and call me over.

"What's the matter, Dad?" I stretched and looked around but didn't see Jiang Luo.

"You think about watering my flowers later, I'm too lazy to move."

I felt a little helpless, so I sat down and watched the boring show together with him for a while.

My mother came to urge me to wash up, and I asked casually, "Is Jiang Luo not up yet?"

"He said he had a headache and went out for a walk." My mother pulled me up, "Hurry up and wash up, Jiang Luo is probably coming back soon, get ready to eat."

I was stuffed into the bathroom by my mother, and when I came out, Jiang Luo just came back from the outside.

There was also a little white dog in his arms.

My mother was the first to see it, and ran over directly: "Hey, who's kid is this?"

Jiang Luo was a little embarrassed, and carefully dragged the puppy's body and said, "I picked it up on the side of the road. There is a puppy tag tied around its neck."

"Huh? Dog tags?" I also went to join in the fun, and when I walked in front of them, my mother just read the words on the dog tags.

"I can't afford to raise it, thank you for taking it in?" My mother was happy, and took the puppy directly from Jiang Luo's arms, "Poor little one, he was abandoned at such a young age."

Now that I have a puppy, my mother doesn't urge me to eat anymore.

Jiang Luo and I looked at each other at the door and smiled helplessly.

During the meal, my mother found a small shoe box, put the puppy in it, and gave it some food. The little guy ate with great relish.

I turned around and found Jiang Luo staring at it in a daze.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Jiang Luo smiled and said, "It's scary to be abandoned for being so cute."

After he finished speaking, our family all looked at him.

He hurriedly apologized awkwardly: "I didn't mean that..."

"You're right!" My mother gave him another dumpling, "But that's just some people, and there are others like us who are good people."

My mom loves to boast, but there's no denying that she deserves it.

I have always felt that I have the happiest family in the world, my smart and outstanding twin brother, my warm and kind parents. Later, the fantasy was shattered, but only a part of it was broken. Later, the broken part was also given by Jiang Luo. stuck together again.

After dinner, my parents circled the puppy, and I thought about going back to my room to work.

Jiang Luo followed and knocked on my door.

"Brother, I have something to tell you." He probably didn't sleep at all after he went back before, but now the dark circles under his eyes are so serious that I worry.

"Come in." I turned sideways to let him in, then closed the door and said to him, "Aren't you sleeping?"

He shook his head and stood there awkwardly.

"What's wrong?" I reckoned that he came to tell me about the treatment. According to his temperament, he would probably choose to escape this time.

However, after a few seconds I realized I was wrong.

This time, Li Jiangluo, uncharacteristically, took a brave step forward.

"I want to try the thing you said." He said the last few words in a very low voice, so small that I could only judge by his lips.

He lowered his head again, but quickly raised it again.

"Brother, I want to try." He raised the volume, his voice trembling slightly, "It doesn't matter if it can't be cured, at least I tried this time, and I have no regrets."

The Li Jiangluo in front of me is probably the moment I admire the most since I met him. Although he looks haggard, his eyes are shining with determination.

I took two steps forward and gently embraced him in my arms.

"It will be fine." I said, "You have to believe in yourself, and all difficulties will be overcome."