The Swan Bay Murders

We finally moved and got our own place.

On the day we picked up my mother from the hospital, we didn't go back to Xu Zhao's place, but took her directly to the new home, which was cleaned up by Jiang Luo, and all the necessary daily necessities were prepared.

She was in a better mood, and my dad stopped talking all day long.

We put pictures of Berlin in the living room, in the bedroom, in the study, everywhere we can see them.

No matter what he did in his lifetime, at least he is still our favorite family.

Jiang Luo's mental state has also improved a bit, but he still hardly eats, and is so thin that only a skeleton remains.

The current Li Jiangluo is completely different from the one in the previous photo. When I think of the first time I saw him, I still think that this person is completely different from what Berlin described. I was disappointed then, but now I feel distressed.

He wasn't supposed to be like this, all because of Berlin's death.

In fact, I am not much better, but I have to work hard to support this family. Once I also sink, our family will really be over.

It's the end of the year and Christmas is only a few days away.

Berlin has also left us for almost two months.

We didn't mention it too much, but my mother said that when it snowed heavily last time, I would choose a better cemetery in the next spring and let my brother rest in peace.

When she was talking, her eyes looked into the distance, the outside was a vast expanse of whiteness, she didn't know where her eyes were focused.

I held her shoulders, put my arm around her, and heard her sigh.

In fact, several nights when I came back from overtime work, I could hear her weeping in my dad's room. I didn't dare to push the door in, so I could only lean against the door and listen, and then we were sad together.

Recently, I am planning to take my family out for a walk during the New Year's Eve, and go to a place with fewer tourists to let them relax.

I'm always bored at home like this, and I can never get out of the pain.

But before going on a trip, there is one more important thing to do.

I made another overseas phone call to consult that friend on how to regulate his stomach. Jiang Luo has been severely anorexic, which made me very disturbed.

I persuaded him several times earnestly, and he finally agreed to have a stomach examination, but he refused to let me follow him.

Probably because worrying has become a habit. In the past, I didn't feel at ease about what Berlin did, but now I treat Jiang Luo in exactly the same way as I treat Berlin.

He went to check, and I followed secretly.

Sneaky, like a shady underground member, I think I'm a little funny.

Sure enough, as I expected, he didn't go for a checkup at all, and sat in a resting chair in the hospital in a daze, and didn't even register.

I had nothing to do with him, and I couldn't ignore him, so I showed up.

"Jiang Luo." When I walked over, he was obviously taken aback.

"Brother." He no longer politely calls me "Brother Bai Chuan", but this simple word means a lot to us.

"Learn to lie to me." I stood one meter away from him, there was no displeasure on my face, just helplessness.

He lowered his head, like a schoolboy who made a mistake and got caught.

I took two steps and sat next to him, and asked him, "Why are you so repelled by the examination?"

He hesitated for a moment, then said, "I'm fine, so it's unnecessary."

"Do you really think you're okay?" He stood there, and I could only look up at him. He was too thin, his body was covered by clothes. It was his coat last year, but now he was wearing too fat.

He stopped talking and I took his wrist and made him sit down.

"I don't know what you're thinking right now, and you won't tell me if I ask you." I acted a little unhappy on purpose, and there was really nothing I could do about it, "But Jiang Luo, you are my younger brother now, and you are not in good health. , I can't work with peace of mind at all, look at my parents, they are getting better slowly, why can't you?"

He lowered his eyes and clasped his hands into fists on his lap.

I stroked the hair on the back of his head, tried to smile and said, "What are you afraid of? Afraid that I will fall in love with you if you change back to the way you were before?"

"Huh?" He looked at me in surprise.

Seeing his sunken cheeks and chapped lips, my heart sank, I patted him on the back and said: "No kidding, go register with me, I guess the queue will take a long time, if you don't hurry up, today may be in vain. "

He finally obeyed, stood up and followed me.

The obedient Li Jiangluo made me finally breathe a sigh of relief. If he continues like this, I'm really afraid that he will faint someday.

After a good inspection, we waited for a while and the results came out.

The doctor prescribed some traditional Chinese medicine, and told me to take it on time, and it should be adjusted with food.

My friend has already written a list of food preparation methods and sent it to me. Jiangluo's situation is not particularly serious, and it should gradually get better.

When we came out of the hospital, the sun was already slanting to the west, and the weather was fine. It is rare to see the original color of the sky without smog in winter.

After the examination, I felt at ease, and walked in front with the medicine in hand, followed by Li Jiangluo who didn't say a word.

When he got in the car, he was still in a daze. When I tilted my body to fasten his seat belt, he was startled again.

"What do you think about every day in a daze?" I asked casually.

He was a little flustered, and he hesitated and said nothing.

I didn't ask any more questions, thinking that I would pass by the mall later to buy a pot for cooking medicine.

"Brother." Li Jiangluo spoke suddenly, with a very low voice.

"what happened?"

"I'm troubling you again."

I didn't expect him to say such a thing, and half of his good mood disappeared immediately.

"What are you talking about?" I glanced at him, raised my hand and snapped my fingers in front of him, "I hope you are healthy, otherwise, if something happens, you will suffer later."

He gave a soft "hmm", touched his pocket, and took out a cigarette: "Can I have a cigarette?"

Since Berlin's death, both of us have been very addicted to cigarettes, and sometimes one pack a day is not enough for each of us.

After our parents came back, we all deliberately controlled it and tried not to smoke in front of them, fearing that it would be bad for their health.

I am usually busy with work, and sometimes I don’t have time to smoke when I am busy, but Li Jiangluo is different. He has nothing to do now, and only cares for his parents and daydreaming all day long.

Once before, when I came home from get off work, it was past twelve o'clock in the evening, and I saw him sitting on the balcony smoking a cigarette, and there was already a hill piled up in the ashtray at hand.

"Jiang Luo." I reached out and took his cigarette, "Let's quit smoking."

He stood there in a daze, watching me throw the cigarette into the back seat, and said for a while, "Okay."

Berlin has been gone for two months, not a long time, but we live like years.

What he took away was our longing and Li Jiangluo's love, but we are still alive and must live well.

Maybe life can't go back to the previous track, because the accident has happened, each of us is forced to drive into another road, so the only thing we should do now is to cheer up at a new starting point, so many tomorrows are waiting for us , Berlin must be watching us too.

Cooking Chinese medicine is a technical job, of course it is for me.

I am very good at cooking Western food. When I was in school, in order to reduce the burden on my family, I went to work in a western restaurant every day to earn living expenses.

I can make a big table of steaks, pasta, salads, and desserts, and I can make simple Chinese fried rice, like the one I made for Li Jiangluo.

But boiling Chinese medicine is easier said than done.

I bought a casserole specially made for boiling Chinese medicine. I boiled it myself for the first time, but Ao dried up the Chinese medicine and had to throw it all away.

My mother looked at me and scolded me for being wasteful. Since then, it has become her job to make medicine for Jiang Luo.

Jiang Luo was always very embarrassed, and ran to the kitchen in a panic to cook by himself, but was kicked out by my mother every time.

I watched from the sidelines, relieved that our days were finally getting better.

Seeing that Christmas is coming, if you are abroad, the streets and alleys must be full of Christmas atmosphere now, but in China, this atmosphere has faded a lot.

Our family is very tacitly silent about this holiday, because we had made an appointment with Berlin to spend Christmas in Vancouver a few months ago.

He is gone, and this agreement has become a scar on our hearts.

These days, my task is to shift the focus of my work as soon as possible. My mother’s task is to recuperate Jiang Luo’s body. My father is very good at entertaining himself. He bought a lot of flowers at the nearby flower and bird market and turned the balcony into a his little garden.

For two months, although most of the time we were still immersed in the death of Berlin and couldn't breathe, everyone was trying hard to get out.

I have to thank God that we didn't get knocked out anyway.

On Christmas Eve, we were each in our own rooms.

At around 40:[-] in the evening, someone knocked on my door.

I thought it was my mother who was missing Berlin and came to chat with me, but when I opened the door, I saw an apple wrapped in gorgeous colored paper on the door.

There was a note under it, and I stooped to pick it up, holding the apple in one hand and the note in the other.

[Brother, happy Christmas Eve. 】

The signature is Li Jiangluo.

My heart suddenly felt sour, I turned my head to glance at his closed door, and retreated to my room.

I sent Li Jiangluo a message, repeated it, typed it and then deleted it.

Finally gave up.

He unpacked the apple, peeled it, cut it into several pieces, served it on a plate, and knocked on the door of Li Jiangluo's room.

It's twelve o'clock.

I heard the clock strike when he opened the door. He glanced back at the alarm clock on the table and said with a smile, "Happy Christmas Eve."

Holding the plate, I pierced a piece of apple with a toothpick and fed it to his mouth, then patted his head and said, "Happy Christmas Eve."

We didn't eat all the apples that night.

The remaining half was placed in front of the photo of Berlin.

We still miss him, even though he is a bad boy.