Severe Emotional Cleanliness Mutual Aid Group

Today, the weather was warmer, and Jin Chunan led Fang Xiaonan to the park.

Before he broke up with Fang Ran, he would come to this park for a walk almost every day.Sometimes I just take a walk around the artificial lake in the garden, sometimes I will jog and exercise with Fang Xiaonan, and when I am tired, I will sit on a bench under the shade of a tree to rest.At this time, Fang Xiaonan would shake the long socks on his head and jump around, trying to break free from him to play.He spent many, many afternoons here, and met Jiang Changkan here.

It stands to reason that he should hate this place so much and vowed never to come back again. In fact, during his most painful period, he really let go of such cruel words to himself.But he and Fang have been together for many years, and the time when Jiang Changkan exists is just a short, very short fragment of their long life.In the past more days, he always finished Fang unexpectedly's breakfast or lunch with great joy, watching him pick and choose and smiling with satisfaction on his face, and then, in the afternoon when he left, Come to this small park to spend time comfortably.

Of course, there are some painful memories in this garden, but other than that, there is more warmth and happiness.

So, in the afternoon when he had nothing to do, he led Fang Xiaonan again and came here to pass the time.

Almost a month and a half ago, Chu Jing asked him to break up, and he readily agreed.It is indeed Xinran, every minute and every second with Chu Jing is like a terrible torture.This is not to say that Chu Jing is a bad person, in fact, when he was just Jin Chunan's roommate, he was quite qualified.And when he became Jin Chunan's nominal boyfriend, he still did it almost perfectly.However, when the two were just roommates, Jin Chunan felt very relaxed and comfortable with him.But when the nominal relationship changed drastically, he felt quite uncomfortable and disturbed.

And the reason for all this is that he doesn't love him.

Jin Chunan didn't have any feelings for Chu Jing beyond the friendship of ordinary friends, but he had to fulfill his boyfriend's obligations because of his impulsive impulsiveness and rashness.Such an obligation made him quite repulsive, and he knew that Chu Jing could feel his repulsion.But Chu Jing didn't tell the truth, nor blamed him, but still cared for him meticulously, and still expressed his love and concern for herself without reservation.Chu Jing's attitude made Jin Chunan feel even more painful. He couldn't control his rejection, but he couldn't help but feel guilty for Chu Jing's forbearance and grievance.

Back then in the hospital, the moment he agreed to Chu Jing, he thought he could truly let go of the past and truly accept Chu Jing.He was grateful to Chu Jing for saving Fang Ran, and was even more moved by Chu Jing's devotion to him without expecting anything in return. But at that moment, he made a wrong judgment, mistaking gratitude and touch for liking and acceptance.He really wanted to start a new relationship, because in his opinion, if he continued to entangle with Fang unexpectedly, the final result could only be a loss for both sides.The previous scars cannot be healed, but new misunderstandings continue to arise. If they can no longer go back to the past, since they can no longer continue to love each other, they might as well go forward with big strides and forget each other from now on.

However, it turned out that he couldn't do it.He could neither reciprocate Chu Jing's same feelings, nor could he completely let go of Xia Zhen.

He missed him very much, every minute and every second he was with Chu Jing, he couldn't even see Chu Jing at all, Fang was like an annoying little hammer, beating the tip of his heart all the time, which made him feel even worse. To his annoyance, he was delighted by it.

When he first found out about Fang Ran and Jiang Changkan, his heart was filled with great sadness and pain. The pain was so intense that it almost overwhelmed his sanity, so, naturally, it also covered up his love and longing for the other party. , For a while, he even thought that he didn't love Fang Ran anymore.However, when he entered a new relationship, such deep-seated lovesickness broke through the ground again, and set off a huge wave in his heart with overwhelming momentum.

However, he promised Chu Jing that although he couldn't let the other party forget his love now, he would do his best to let go of the past and repay Chu Jing's love.However, he didn't do anything he promised.However, Chu Jing did not blame him, he even comforted Jin Chunan in turn, telling him not to worry, he was willing to wait no matter how long.

After agreeing to give Chu Jing a try with him, Jin Chunan thought of breaking up countless times.But he can't mention it.In the face of Chu Jing, who was humiliating and humiliating for him, he couldn't say that.The awkward atmosphere between him and Chu Jing almost destroyed their friendship.They can no longer find the comfort and joy they used to get along with each other. No matter how close the two are, there is always a huge gap that can never be bridged between them.

This kind of getting along was close to torture. During those half a month, endless longing, pain, and guilt eroded Jin Chunan's heart, and what made him even more painful was Fang's appearance.

Fang actually looks so inconsequential, Jin Chunan doesn't understand why the two have come to this point, they obviously had a sweet and warm love life, they obviously love each other deeply, they obviously...

Jin Chunan still didn't go with Fang Ran in the end, he had his promise, he had his responsibility, even if there was no love, as long as Chu Jing wanted to continue, he couldn't leave first.And Fang unexpectedly will forget him one day, and start a brand new relationship without any pain and entanglement.He thought he had made up his mind, but on the night when he met Fang Ranran in front of Chujing's house, he suddenly cried bitterly in his sleep. He dreamed that Fang Ranran boarded a boat and he was standing on the shore. On the other side, he chopped off the rope connecting the pier and the pillar.

Chu Jing heard the noise from the next room, but didn't wake him up, but sat by the bed and watched him all night.

The next day, Chu Jing broke up with him.The reason Chu Jing gave was that he overestimated his endurance and underestimated the relationship between Jin Chunan and Fang Ranran.

After breaking up with Chu Jing, Jin Chunan didn't immediately go to find Fang Ran.He had already done a stupid thing that hurt others and himself because of his haste and recklessness, so this time, he hoped that every decision he made would be deliberate.

He missed Fang Ran, but he wasn't sure that Fang Ran wanted to see him too.Besides, even Fang actually missed him, just like he missed Fang. Afterwards, the two each hid their scars and grievances in their hearts, and pretended to be together again as if nothing had happened. Who knows if it will be another long battle. What about torturing each other?

A relationship without love is torture, and a relationship with love can be another torture.

Jin Chunan didn't know how the two people who had gone through all this could go on.

He sat on a small bench in the park, thinking about Fang Ranran endlessly, the shadows of the whirling trees swayed in the wind beside him, the winter sun was warm and warm, children and sons ran around on the grass, Fang Xiaonan lay on the ground , pressing two paws on the white stockings hanging over his head, and biting with his teeth with relish.

Suddenly, Jin Chunan felt a figure covering him, he came back to his senses, raised his head, and saw Fang was looking at him with a smile.Jin Chunan mistakenly thought that he was in a dream, and forgot to react for a while.When Fang Xiaonan saw Fang Ranran, he jumped up and down excitedly, hugging Fang Ranran's thigh and rubbing it back and forth.

Fang actually looked at Jin Chunan in a daze, smiled and patted him on the forehead.

Jin Chunan didn't say a word, but held onto his cold fingertips tightly.

Fang unexpectedly touched Fang Xiaonan's hairy head, and said to Jin Chunan, "Go home."

Jin Chunan asked in confusion, "Can I go back?"

Fang unexpectedly said softly: "Of course."