Moon and Aging God

If you insist on pursuing the root cause, you have to start with Pangu opening up the sky and Nuwa creating man, which is too far away, so I won't describe them one by one.

Besides, the main reason why he is exhausted now is not because of that stinky monkey making troubles in the Heavenly Palace hundreds of years ago.It’s fine if you overturn the alchemy stove of the old man of Taishan, there is nothing good in that stove anyway; it’s fine if you steal the flat peaches of the Queen Mother, anyway, whoever eats it is not good; you ruin the life and death of the king of Hades Forget it, anyway, life and death are destined; but you actually go to mess up the marriage line, you say you are a single monkey, do you have to drag others together... Is it tolerable or unbearable.When Yuelao thought that the stinky monkey was now a Buddha and was happy in Lingshan, and he could only clean up the mess he left behind, he couldn't help but want to beat the stinky monkey to death.

Yuelao looked at the entangled marriage lines of gods, demons and people in front of him, shook his head again and again, and cursed: "Who the hell can untie it."

The dead old man of Taishang Laojun always said to him falsely: "Anyway, gods don't grow old and never die, and you will untie them one day. When you untie all the marriage lines, then you will be a fairy and a demon." A great man in the four worlds of monsters."

Every time Yuelao heard this, he always gave that dead old man a look, and said: "When your alchemy furnace is still on fire, I have to work day and night. I might as well be like ordinary people and close my eyes." , kicked and kicked with both feet."

When Taishang Laojun stroked his beard, his small eyes rolled away, wondering what the hell was going on.He said to Yuelao: "Immortal Yue, how about this, let me talk to the Jade Emperor for you, and send you a right-hand assistant so that you can get rid of the sea of ​​suffering as soon as possible, what do you think?"

Yuelao was holding a red thread in one hand, and hundreds of red threads were on the other end of the thread. He didn't bother to pay attention to the Taishang Laojun, so he just said casually: "As you please, don't disturb my work."

Yuelao didn't take this matter to heart either. You must know that everyone in the heavenly world is busy and who is free to help you with work.The Taishang Laojun is also a god who always promises empty promises. Who in this world does not know that the Taishang Laojun promised to give others the elixir when he saw it, but who received it after a hundred years.

No, I don't know what kind of wind is blowing today, the fairy told him that the Jade Emperor had something to do with him and told him to hurry to the Lingxiao Palace, so he had to put down his busy work and rush to see his boss.

The incense of gods is not good these days, and young Chinese are chasing fresh meat. The Jade Emperor made a promotional video for all the gods in order to promote the heaven.

When Yuelao rushed to the gate of the Lingxiao Palace, he saw the promotional video that the Jade Emperor asked someone to shoot for their gods a few days ago.Just as he was about to take a look at his heroic face, he realized... There seemed to be something wrong with the editor.

This is the version that was supposed to be on the big screen.

"Hello everyone, I am the omnipotent Erlang God."

"Hi everyone, I'm Sister Chang'e, whom everyone loves."

"Hello everyone, I am Baihua Fairy who sees flowers blooming."

"Hi everyone, I'm the lovely dog ​​Xingren, Xiaotiangou."

Then suddenly the style of painting changed, and it became like this.

Yuelao: "I am an immortal who brings love to others."

Bad God: "I am a god who brings bad luck to others."

Yuelao: "My friend is the God of Wealth."

Biaoshen: "My friend is Lord Yan."

When Yue Lao saw this, he realized that there was a person standing beside him. He couldn't help but look at that person. He realized that that person was the bad boy on the screen.He couldn't help giving him a white look, and said, "Damn."

When Shuaishen saw this, he also noticed that there was a person standing beside him. He couldn't help but look at that person, and when he found out that it was Yuelao, he also took a look at Baiyuelao, and said, "Damn."

Both of them had a feeling of "seeing a ghost".

At this time, Taishang Laojun walked over with his small steps, and he said to the two of them very eagerly: "Oh, I think you two know each other, Yue Daxian, this is Shuai Daxian, I Tell the Jade Emperor that you are too busy working alone, and the Jade Emperor specially asked me to bring you a special commissioner from the underworld, Lord Shuai, you must cherish this working partner."

After hearing this, Yuelao really beeped in his heart, Nima, he didn't expect that the Jade Emperor would send him some fairy as his assistant, he could send him a little fairy, but he actually sent him If Shuaishen came to be his assistant, would his marriage be possible?He might have lost his ability to succeed.But since he couldn't refute the boss's kindness, he had no choice but to say hello.

"Hello!" Yuelao greeted Shuaishen.

Shuaishen was dumbfounded. "Next..."

Yuelao looked confused, "What year is it, and I still use it to say hello".He looked at the blank eyes of the other party, and said again: "hey? I can't speak English, so I can understand you when I say hello. Hello, I'm Yuelao."

Baishen still had a dazed look on his face, he bowed his hands slightly and bent slightly towards him, saying, "I'm Baishen."

Seeing this scene, Yue Lao put his hands on his forehead, strode forward, and then said to the man behind him: "Hey, what are you doing over there, hurry up and work."

Seeing this, Huaishen chased after him.

And then it became like this, and this, and this.

Although the marriage lines are entangled and cannot be untied, Yuelao still wants to arrange marriages for people. Someone must ask, if the marriage lines are entangled and cannot be untied, how does Yuelao know who is a good match with whom? ?Only the devil would know, are there vegetables in the basket? Anyway, there are hundreds of threads behind each thread, and each of them arranges a chance encounter, and whoever takes a fancy to it will be whoever it is.

Everyone thought in their hearts: Yuelao, you don't seem to be very responsible like this.

Yuelao: I'm not responsible, I'm responsible. Humans in the whole world have long been extinct, you know.

However, this month old man does not know how to arrange marriages one by one by human beings. Computer automation is now used, and this marriage line is also like this. Anyway, one line is followed by thousands of marriage lines, and they will automatically meet, fall in love, and break up... So also It is not necessary for Yue Lao to intervene in person, unless...unless that person goes to worship him with a tribute.

No, Yuelao spent his best years because of an apple.

That kid is called Zhou Liangsheng, a college student, I don't know why he goes to Yuelao Temple every day to worship him, and tell him some thoughts, anyway, it's just to ask for a marriage.Yuelao saw that this kid was not ugly, and the apples he chose were delicious, so he softened his heart after coming and going, and arranged several marriages for him, but the result was... none of them worked out.

At this moment, Yuelao and Biaoshen were standing on the other side of the street, holding baked potatoes in their hands and putting one hand in their pockets, squatting on the ground and looking at the people coming.

"If it doesn't work out today, I'll kill myself here." Yue Lao pointed at the boy.

Shuaishen asked curiously, "How many times have you married him?"

Yuelao Hui: "I can't count how many times, once I ran into him in the car, the girl was sitting next to him, she said she wanted to find a boyfriend, what a chance, hinted at him, he actually fell asleep , fell asleep, be alone."

"What is Gusheng?" Shuaishen stayed in the underworld for thousands of years and didn't know the new vocabulary at all.

Yue Laobai glanced at him and said: "You are betting on a lonely life like this."

Shuaishen thought to himself: Then being lonely must mean handsome.

Yuelao said again: "The second time, when I got a haircut in a barber shop, I arranged for him to run into his high school class girl. The girl called him by name and said it was Zhou Liangsheng. The girl left angrily."

"What about the third time?" Shuai Shen asked.

"For the third time, I just told that girl to chase after him. Every day, I either sat in the same row with him at school, or smirked at him, or walked past him, letting him see that girl all the time. Everyone thinks this is a godsend, the only difference is that the girl didn't confess to him..."

After hearing this, Shuaishen clapped his hands and said, "It's finally done this time."

A mouthful of blood came out of Yuelao's heart, and he said: "You are a big man, he actually... ignored that girl and ran away, ran away."

Yue Lao said: "It seems that I shouldn't eat that apple. It's really man-made for wealth, and birds for food. I'm going to lose all my wisdom in this life for him."

After hearing this, Shaoshen nodded thoughtfully, and said, "Then what marriage did you arrange for him today?"

After Yuelao finished speaking, he pointed to that place and said, "Look for yourself."

Sure enough, at that moment, a beautiful girl appeared in front of Zhou Liangsheng, wearing a short skirt in winter, and all the boys around were watching her. She dropped a lipstick in front of Zhou Liangsheng intentionally or unintentionally.

Zhou Liangsheng saw it and said to her, "Hey, you dropped something."

The girl turned to look at him and said, "My skirt is so short, you can pick it up for me, handsome guy."

All the men wanted to pick it up, but Zhou Liangsheng actually said: "Since this is the case, don't go out in such a short skirt, the little girl will get arthritis when she gets old."

When Yue Lao saw this, his head was filled with the words "arthritis, arthritis, arthritis...arthritis you/Mom"

Yuelao scolded angrily: "Fuck you/mother, I've pulled the red line for this kid so many times, but he still hasn't succeeded, and my year-end award is about to go to waste."

Shuai Shen said: "How about the gods swearing, children will learn when they hear it."

Yue Laobai glanced at him, and said: "Then I say fuck/your Queen Mother, fuck/you Jade Emperor, they will not understand."

Shuaishen asked, "Are you sure he likes women?"

Well, it seems that he is really not sure.