CM The future I see without you

It is now late at night, and the sky is even a little dim. A fat short-haired cat let out a deep cry at the end of the street. Reid was startled and turned his head away. The cat turned his head and stared at it for a while. The strangely motionless human standing at the door of the house yelled again, took steady steps, and slowly left the empty street in a quiet, almost arrogant manner.

Reid turned his gaze back to the door of the apartment, and breathed a sigh of relief. The door was stuck in the inner pocket of the satchel, but he didn't move.The light snow fell rustlingly, appearing indistinctly under the dim streetlights. He thought for a while, then turned around and walked towards the FBI building.

The weather was extremely cold, and the security at the gate of the FBI found that the silent agent hadn't left for 10 minutes and turned back. He opened the small door neatly, without saying hello, and silently watched the agent disappear into the night middle.

The security guard sighed, and heard that it was the partner of Agent Jacquessauniere who died a few days ago. Because of this sudden car accident, the entire BAU joint director's capable officers did not know how many people were investigated, how many dark things were uncovered, and the The whole bureau panicked, but in the end there was still no result about the car accident.

Coupled with the fact that the scandal of the US military in Syria suddenly broke out on the Internet recently, disturbing the sleep and food of 2/3 of the entire country, the FBI, which bears the brunt, is even busier. Clue, not to mention how ugly the situation is, until the director comes back and sits in person to direct the operation, and the answer sheet handed over can be regarded as an explanation to the top and bottom.

But the external results have been obtained, and how the internal ending is still open to discussion. Because of this matter, even in the early morning, there are still a steady stream of vehicles or helicopters coming in and out, some from the CIA, some from the Military Affairs Department, and some from the The White House, more without even the barest signage.

The snow was falling more and more heavily, the security guard suddenly shivered, and the coffee cup on the table was still steaming. It seemed that the only thing left in the busy Quantico was this small security room, which still had some quiet taste of the years.

Trembling, he took a sip of hot cocoa, and suddenly remembered the detective who died. In the eyes of the security guard with a big belly, he could only be regarded as a child who had just entered society, but he was handsome and polite. , very much liked by everyone, but it can only be regarded as an unpredictable event at such a young age.

The security sighed, put down the cup in his hand, got up and closed the window to block the noisy snow.

When Reid returned to the lobby of the BAU, he realized that the lights in Hotch's office were still on.

"Didn't I tell you to go back and rest?" Hotch frowned and looked at the doctor who pushed the door and walked in, feeling helpless in his heart.

Reid pulled out an ugly smile and said, "Anyway, it's the same everywhere, besides, I want to see it again."

What to look at, Hotch knew without asking, it was nothing more than the photos of the scene, the DNA report of the scorched bones, and some surveillance videos. These things were searched and researched by the BAU from the beginning, but no one had a clue, and now only Reid A hopeful view of a man.

Time has passed for so long, no matter how sad they are, everyone is slowly beginning to accept the result they least want to see.

Hotch put down the pen in his hand and said, "Director Mueller has ordered Jacques' funeral."

"But now we have no conclusive evidence to prove that Jacques is in that car!" Reid turned his head tiredly, with a firm attitude, "Can those unclear forensic reports prove that those charred bones are Jacques?! Hotch, You should understand this better than me..."

"No, no one understands better than you." Hotch leaned back in the chair, crossed his hands on his knees, and looked calm and capable. He said, "Since the incident, you have been following up, whether it is witnesses It’s still physical evidence, and even the biochemical test report was obtained with your help, Reid, it’s been so long, you should have the answer in your heart, we just give you one, an obvious result.”

—Jacques is dead. "

Reid blinked quickly, lowered his head slowly, looked at the hem of his trousers that had been stained by snow at some point, and remained silent.

The lights in the office were extremely dark, and there was a chilly feeling that was hard to shake off. All the darkness hidden behind was like a ghost. Reid raised his head, and just for a moment, he saw the remaining hesitation in Hotch's frowning brows. The corner of the team leader's lips curled slightly, and his eyes flicked back and forth on the photo frame on the table.

The doctor suddenly said: "Who needs this result?"

"what?"

Reid stood up, confused and said: "What did he do wrong? Why did you do this to him?"

Obviously there is still hope, maybe Jacques is still alive, waiting for our rescue in some corner, but why, why did he choose to give up so easily?

Reid stood up and saw a group photo of the whole BAU in the photo frame on the desktop. At that time, Jacques hadn't come yet, JJ wasn't married, and Giden was also there. Everyone was smiling and leaning on each other intimately with their glasses of wine.

We are friends, comrades-in-arms, dependent on each other, and entrusted by our lives.

Reid stroked the small box in his pants pocket, and for some reason, he suddenly felt extremely glaring.

Hotch chose to obey the orders of his superiors because he had greater responsibilities.

And Mueller chose to give up because of the situation.

Now, do you even want to give up on yourself?

Reid's mind was in a mess, and he fell silent again. He put his hand on his chest, and the complete, vibrant heart was beating rhythmically, but the feeling of powerlessness and sadness came again, like The arrogant fate is silently forcing you to accept that what is behind those wishful thinking is just an illusion that is not true.

"Reid," Hotch said, "promise me to stay out of it, no matter what the outcome of this thing is, okay?"

"What about Jacques? What about him?"

"Director Mueller said..."

"Do you really believe everything he said?" Reid asked lightly, he turned his head, avoided Hotch's scrutiny, and turned to the window, the snow was still falling, and it was very noisy, like spring and autumn drizzle, tick tick Yes, upsetting.

He suddenly felt a little ironic. Ever since he knew Jacques' life experience, he seemed to have become indifferent to the loneliness he showed. He felt that the young man was just moaning about illness or thinking too much. Parents died early, isn't there still Are there so many people who love him? Giden, Rossi, Mueller... even Natalie, not like himself.

It was just a princely melancholy, maybe it was a side effect of the medicine, Reid comforted himself like this.

Unexpectedly, Jacques turned out to be the one who saw the most clearly at the end.

Reid smiled wryly, he was so paranoid about love because for him, this was almost his last salvation.

He only has me.

Hotch looked into the doctor's penetrating eyes, thought for a while, and confessed: "But this is not something that I can decide, or in other words, this is not something that a BAU can decide. Reid, the things involved here, there are people, far away Far beyond my reach. Reid…"

Saying this, he stood up, walked in front of the doctor, looked serious and solemn, and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't protect him well."

Reid shook his head, looking into Hotch's eyes, bloodshot from exhaustion.The doctor suddenly felt full of resentment, but this kind of reprimand was not because of the omnipotent team leader who was apologizing to him now, but rather the weak self who had been standing behind everyone.

He thought, what's wrong with Hotch, except for Jacques, he has everyone in BAU, he has Jack, and family, he has done everything he can.But what about myself?

After the anger cast in indifference dissipated, it was unprecedentedly calm.

Reid said dryly: "The one who should be sorry should be me. Hotch?"

"You said."

"I'd like to ask for a few days off."

"Now? Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure." Reid smiled and said, "After waiting for so many days, this shouldn't be the result. I have to go get him back."

Even if everyone has decided to give up, even if they have begun to use his death to celebrate the victory of the political struggle, even if he is really long gone, I will find him.

find him.

The light snow falling outside suddenly stopped, and the office fell into an inexplicably lonely and hopeless silence, only the paranoid and calm but slightly choked voice of the doctor remained.

"I'm going to find him."

**

"...Why is it difficult for people all over the world to understand that the United States does not want to control the world, but fights for world peace, security, and freedom? Finally, as a reporter from WFW, I hope that people can refocus their attention on On the heroic and extraordinary detective who detonated the bomb decisively at the critical moment, although I am sorry to be told that the detective died in the latest operation, but his American-style fearless spirit of fighting against evil forces It is worthy of the praise of people all over the world. I believe that this is beyond doubt.

At the end of the article, I still want to remind the world of the fact that the lady who 'revealed' is a person named Al-Assad. "

The webpage slid to the end, and the number of likes and retweets has exceeded one million, but only a few people in the comments still focus on the original bombing in the human body laboratory, and more people focus on the photo attached at the end of the article On the black and white photo of the youth.

It was the ID photo of Jacques FBI. He was wearing a white shirt, his eyes were gentle like the blue sea in June, and there was a smile on his mouth. His handsome face fascinated thousands of people.

Then, the situation far exceeded the imagination of the FBI and other agencies. Hundreds of preliminary plans were not as good as a single photo, and the eyes of the crowd were only on Jacques.

Not to mention some seemingly professional but sensational articles issued by the official account later, which even biased the development of the whole incident.

Now the focus of the entire United States or internationally renowned times is on the funeral of the heroic agent who died half a month later. Mueller attended the press conference jointly held by the FBI and the CIA and announced on the spot that he would hold a solemn ceremony for his godson. At the funeral, the president will also attend and fire the highest-standard salute for the lost youth.

I don’t know if it’s the relationship between the agent and the director or the presence of the president at the funeral that caused more sensation. People with only seven seconds of memory forgot that they were still preparing to protest for the tragic death in Syria two or three days ago, so they were happy Dive into new gossip.

Walter Lippmann wrote in "Public Opinion": "...once a system of stereotypes is fully fixed, our attention is drawn to the facts that support it and to the facts that contradict it. .Probably because those facts are in harmony with it, good people can always find countless reasons for being good, and evil people can always find countless reasons for being evil.”

Jafferson sneered in his heart, but smiled slightly on his face. He put down the tablet in his hand and said to the young man lying on the bed, "Look, he still gave up on you."

The empty bedroom is quiet, the floor-to-ceiling windows are wide open, and the off-white gauze curtains flutter inward under the slight sea breeze, bringing the disgusting sticky, fishy and salty smell unique to the beach and ocean.

Jacques struggled to open his eyes. He stared blankly at the glass lamp on the ceiling for a long time, then turned his head, looked at the strange teacher beside him, and said hoarsely, "No."

"Your funeral has been put on the agenda by Mueller. It's a reality, Jacques."

"No." Jacques turned his gaze back to the chandelier and said, "I didn't mean him."

"Who? That Spencer Reid?" Jafferson snorted coldly. "Believe me, Jacques, I know him better than you do."

Jacques didn't reply immediately, it was extremely difficult for his brain to turn after he just woke up for a few days, and after receiving Jafferson's message, he had to spend a long time thinking about what he meant.

Before Jacques could answer, Jafferson changed the subject again: "Your grandfather is looking for you."

This sentence is short but informative. Jacques thought for a long time before he turned his head slowly, narrowed his eyes, and asked, "Who?"

"Your grandfather, your mother's father, the patriarch of the French Sauniere family..." Jafferson chanted several names, and finally did not say why the sudden appearance of the grandfather was looking for him.

"Who knows?" Jafferson said casually, "Maybe he is about to die and suddenly remembered that he still has a daughter?"

Jacques thought to himself, if Louise broke ties with her father and ran away, he would not believe it. At least the huge wealth he inherited from her back then would not be the result of an FBI agent in just a dozen years. accumulated over time.

Jafferson didn't comment on that, standing up as the alarm clock that had been set began to go off.

The sharp bell sounded like the whisper of a devil, and Jacques trembled all over, watching Jafferson pick up the needle tube that had been prepared long ago, and slowly inject into his deep jugular vein catheter.

There is only 10ml of clear and transparent liquid in the needle tube, which looks amber under the bright sunlight outside the window.

The bolus of Jafferson is very slow, but the drug works very quickly.With the dilution of the drug in the blood, the pain began to become clearer and more intense. The young man could bear it at first, but the more he got to the end, the more he felt that his whole body was burned by the fire of hell, and he panted heavily. Gas, twitching all over the body, the hundreds of millions of nerve cells in the body are extremely sensitive, the trigger threshold has reached the lowest, and the world's softest duvet covering the body is like thousands of steel needles piercing the flesh and blood.The young man's gaze became dull, some tears leaked from the corners of his eyes, his mouth opened and closed, and he didn't know what he was screaming silently.

However, the most tormenting thing does not come from the physiology, but the psychological desire for morphine.The young man opened his eyes, and the pain and despair spread from the depths of his body. He tried hard to recall the picture of himself and Spencer together, but it couldn't relieve anything.The second hand is ticking, and 3 minutes seems as long as 3000 years.

As soon as the medicine was pushed, Jacques felt a little cold again, and he blinked his eyes, his eyes were slack.The sun shone on him like icy cold rain. The room temperature was 35 degrees, but the young man was sweating layer by layer, until the quilt and pillows were all wet, and the bone-chilling coldness slowly dissipated.

Jafferson sighed, threw away the used needle, and caressed the bound limbs of the young man. On his wrists and ankles, the restraint belts had rubbed fresh scars, bloody and bloody. On the healed scar, it looked like a ferocious sea snake, extremely ugly, but also extremely beautiful.

After Jacques calmed down a little bit and regained his sanity, Jafferson turned around and took a small basin of warm water from the bathroom, wet the veil, and began to wipe the young man's cheeks little by little.

"Don't..." Jacques protested weakly, but at most he could only turn his head. Under Jafferson's control, he was no different from a paralyzed cripple.

Most of the wounds caused by the car accident were concentrated on the back, and only a small piece of glass was cut on the forehead.

Such a small wound has already scabbed over.

Jafferson carefully applied the ointment on it, and smiled inaudibly. This was the moment he was looking forward to the most of the day, and he was obviously in a great mood.

He changed a new veil, lifted the thin quilt, skillfully avoided all kinds of pipes and brackets, and wiped from the young man's left shoulder.

As soon as the pale and delicate skin touched the warm veil, it became extremely nervous, and the tiny hairs stood up instantly, looking a little cute.

Jafferson's smile disappeared, not because of the young man's resistance, but because he saw the contrast between his old palm and the skin under it.

He paused, but he didn't stop the movement of his hands, but his eyes were fixed on the young man's face.

Jacques closed his eyes, his long and curly eyelashes were trembling unsteadily, his pale and bleeding lips were tightly pressed, he was afraid, he was resisting his closeness.

A huge and cold sense of loss surged from his warm heart to his limbs, and Jafferson was in a trance thinking of the little boy who hugged him and refused to let go, the only child who looked at him as if he was looking at life.

But where has he gone?

Human beings have eaten the fruit of good and evil and deviated from God's standard of love, and only look at the so-called social value, physical function, or meaningless material wealth, but now, it is clear that everything has surpassed the shackles of reality, why is it still Will there be a spiritual gap?

What could have gone wrong, Jafferson thought?

Everything went back and forth and back to the question raised by the little doctor, what is this kind of love?