CM The future I see without you

The autumn rain in Syria is very cold, pattering sparsely, and the red or brown fallen leaves on the side of the road are sticky and curled up in the soil, exuding a slightly bitter rotten smell.

Smell is an indescribable memory that cannot be described clearly. You can't write it, you can only smell it. You have to smell it personally to understand the emotions and meanings that those smells represent or want to express at that time.

So when there is nothing to do, Dean often sneaks out of the military camp alone, and hides in a nearby deserted and dilapidated park. There used to be a lot of beautiful ornamental trees there, maybe because no one takes care of them. Most of them are already dead or intermingled with cypresses and ginkgoes, and weeds and unknown miscellaneous trees and vines cover the whole garden frankly, becoming a paradise for birds.

Dean would just go there, take nothing, quietly light a cigarette, and spend an afternoon, or a short hour or two, in comfort.Although the time was short, it was the only time he could relax a little bit. This quiet place has since become his exclusive paradise. There is no gunpowder smoke, no intrigue and conflict of interest. His heart was extremely comforted.

So one day when he heard the clear sound of the harmonica in the distance, he stopped in his tracks. He couldn't see the person playing the harmonica, but he put his hand on the holster subconsciously, but his feet didn't move.

The harmonica played very badly, the notes were intermittent, and some even broke. The sharp tone startled the birds that were quietly looking for food, and they flew up from the ground with flapping wings, and disappeared into the deep sky in an instant. Dean was alone. I couldn't help laughing.

"Who!" A female voice asked sharply, followed by the crisp sound of being loaded.

Dean yelled silently at first for the snappy loading technique, and then he didn't say anything, just raised his hands and walked slowly out of the corner.

That was the first time he met Lindsay. Of course, she was not Lindsay Al-Assad’s Lindsay at that time. She was just a girl who accidentally broke into her secret base. The morning light was hazy and there was mist after the autumn rain. She was wearing beige She wore a beige woolen sweater over her dress, and there was a small maroon maple leaf on her long hair, which was very similar to her lip color.

Dean didn't know what to say all of a sudden, he just stared blankly at the woman opposite, the woman looked at him, muttered a few times, but didn't speak, just slowly put down the gun in her hand.

They didn't know how to speak, and Dean felt the slightly bitter taste getting stronger at the tip of his nose, penetrating deeply into his heart, turning into a hazy warmth and kindness.

After a long time, Dean spoke first. He stretched out his hand, looked at the blues harmonica that was placed on the stone steps by the woman, and asked softly, "May I?"

The woman nodded hesitantly.

Dean naturally sat down on the stone steps, and played directly on the harmonica without wiping himself off.

He is naturally a good player on the harmonica, but now, he has abandoned those gorgeous and showy techniques that can make little girls scream, and only honestly plays single notes, pressed notes, and vomited sounds plus a small amount of Kong Yin performed a short piece of American country blues melodiously and full of tension.

The woman sat beside him and listened quietly. She put her hands on her knees obediently, but her eyes looked at the clusters of goose-yellow dense flowers in the grass on the opposite side. They were the most common wild flowers in Damascus. A few days, when the weather is colder, when the flowers fall, small pearl-like fruits can be produced. The fruits are light green at first, then turn yellow, and become orange-yellow when ripe, with a sweet taste. It tastes sour and sweet, and birds and children like it.

In those days of hunger, she often went to the jungle and searched for these small fruits in the fallen leaves with the birds. One by one, without washing or wiping, she threw them directly into her mouth, feeling the pleasure of the juice bursting in her mouth .

These fruits say that it is difficult to keep a full stomach, but they can deceive your hungry stomach.When it was getting dark, she would go back slowly, telling Eminem that she was full, and leaving her own mouthful of food to her younger brothers and sisters.

Eminem just smiled, and then secretly stuffed a small boiled bird's egg or a green apple into her hand. Where did she get these things? The woman didn't think much about it, she just felt pleasantly surprised , and then attributed these to the magic or greatness of the mother's power.

The sound of the harmonica didn't know when it stopped, but the woman always felt that it was still ringing, whirling and floating, sometimes lingering and sometimes cheerful, stirring up a bit of warmth in the open and open sky after the cold autumn rain.

Dean turned his head, his gaze just fell on the corner of the woman's slightly raised mouth, and above that, there was a pair of crystal clear eyes full of smiles.

Love comes so fast that people are caught off guard.

Since then, he has always found various excuses to run to that abandoned garden, but women are not always there. Facing the empty stone steps with only wild vines and withered grass, Dean felt a great loss for the first time. He realized that , I want to enter a woman's life, or become a part of her life, of course, it is best to be the most important part that cannot be given up.

**

When the last Natalie in the group realized that Dean started to fall in love, it was already the spring of the following year. At that time, Jacques and Lindsay were already very familiar and had a good relationship. Lindsay always regarded JAcques as his younger brother. Sometimes, Dean invites her to eat at the new restaurant in town, and Lindsay will say, "Call Jacob over too, I haven't seen him in a long time."

"Aren't you worried that I'm jealous?"

"You're just a vinegar jar, it doesn't make any difference if you have more or less." Lindsay stretched out his hand and gently pulled the long hair hanging in front behind his ears, and gently turned a page of the book, saying.

"Hello!"

"Okay, I love you, I love you the most, is that okay?"

"No, you can only love me alone."

Lindsay raised his head, his eyes were full of helplessness and doting, and said, "I really should show Jacob how skinless and shameless you are now."

Dean's smile became restrained, he sat upright, and said carefully: "Actually, my other teammates also want to meet you for this dinner."

Lindsay was taken aback when she heard that, she closed the book, thought for a while, and asked, "You, have you decided?"

Dean pretended to be indifferent and took a sip of coffee, and said, "There is no decision, you are my woman, and I will protect you."

"to be frank."

Dean cleared his throat, scratched his head again, sighed heavily, and could only say, "It's such a mess now, how long can we keep it a secret? Besides, I thought about it that day, you're right, you are mine Lover, they are my family, we shouldn't hide from each other, besides, our love is not shady, and even if there is any danger..."

Lindsay narrowed his eyes and looked at the man opposite, paused, and said, "That Natalie also found out?"

Dean choked, he twitched the corner of his mouth helplessly, and nodded.

Lindsay turned her head away and didn't speak.

Dean could only say, "It's a matter of time, don't you want to meet my family?" Of course, what Dean wants to say is, don't you want to introduce me to your family?

"But last time you said you wanted to break up with me for safety."

Dean really felt as if he was strangling his own heart. He explained dryly: "Didn't you just know what you were doing at that time? Besides, you also know that I am a soldier, and I am also an American soldier. I It's not a worry..."

"Has my study of chemistry bothered you?"

"But this is Damascus!"

"So you don't have to worry!" Lindsay was about to shout, but stopped at the last moment. She tilted her head slightly, avoiding Dean's gaze, and said softly, "Dean, I want to be with you , I love you, no matter what kind of difficulties, I will not separate from you, you don't have to worry about these things."

Dean had all kinds of doubts in his heart, but in the end he chose to remain silent. He gently put his arms around his lover's shoulders and said, "When the things here are over, I will take you back to the United States. At that time, at that time, by the way, Jacques also said that he would Lend us his family castle as a wedding venue."

"He still has a castle at home?"

"Who knows?" Dean scratched his head and said, "Kids always like to exaggerate, maybe it's a bigger house in the countryside."

In the end, Lindsay decided to meet all of Dean's teammates. They took a small booth in the newly opened restaurant and ordered a lot of American fried potato wedges and chicken nuggets, as well as large bottles of Coke. .

Natalie dipped some ketchup on a small piece of French fries, and ate every bite. From the corner of her eye, she kept looking at the woman who was sitting next to the captain, smiling softly and chatting with Jacques in a low voice. There was no reason in her heart. Soar up a kind of depression and irritability.

"So you only spent two days learning to play the harmonica?" Lindsay exclaimed softly.

Jacques said lightly: "As long as you master the basic skills, it's still very simple. Although you can't be like Dean, as long as..." He wanted to continue talking, but found that the person on the opposite side turned his eyes to the captain at some point , although she always listened quietly and didn't speak much, her eyes were always gentle, like the soft moonlight, shining brightly, and like the rising sun burning fiercely.

After dinner, Levine will go to the local bar to have fun, Dean will naturally send Lindsay home, and only Natalie and Jacques will camp.

It was already dark and there were few stars. Natalie walked inside Jacques, step by step, and suddenly said, "I don't like that Lindsay."

"what?"

"I said, I don't like that Lindsay."

Jacques wondered: "Why?"

Natalie said: "I always feel that she is not as harmless and kind as she appears on the surface. Did you see the way she poured Coke for Dean at the dinner table just now? The calluses on her hands are all from holding guns all year round." , and, the chain she wears around her neck, its price is probably our salary for several years? A rich but unidentified biochemist..."

"Dean knows what you're talking about."

"But he still decided to be with her, didn't he?" Natalie said angrily, "And you also recognized her, and you kept it from me."

"Actually, before that, Dean planned to break up with Lindsay directly." Jacques explained softly, "After he probably guessed Lindsay's identity, he planned to break up with her. You know, the identity of the US military is inherently sensitive, plus He was also afraid of Lindsay's job. But then, maybe because of what Lindsay said, Dean stopped thinking about it."

"What did she say?"

"I don't know." Seeing Natalie's disbelieving expression, Jacques could only say, "Although she didn't mention it, I guess her family is probably in the local area, or the kind that is more powerful in Syria, right? So some of Dean's worries are small things to her."

"Impossible, if her family is really like this, she still needs..." Natalie thought of the thick calluses on the woman's hands, and the scars that were inconspicuous but visible to the naked eye, but she couldn't believe it.

Jacques said: "So she may be an illegitimate child, and she can only rely on some of her unique talents to gain the right to speak in the family. As far as she is concerned, she has done very successfully. What's more, the most important thing should not be that she loves Dean?"

After hearing this, Natalie was silent for a while, and said, "Is this a profile? Just like in the beginning, you told us that Dean was in love?"

Jacques nodded slightly.

Natalie paused for a moment without speaking, and the two of them walked to the barracks in silence.

Jacques sent her back to her tent, and when she was about to leave, NAtalie stopped him suddenly. Jacques turned around in doubt, and saw a nervous, timid and expectant expression on NAtalie's face. Under the bright light, Her face was slightly pink like cherry blossoms, and her eyes were like the moonlight shining on the lake, so bright that it was impossible to look directly at her.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Can you profile Dean but not me?"

Jacques was a little confused, now this Natalie looked a little bit wrong, she was not at all like the usual ruthless female detective, but more like, more like what? Jacques couldn't tell, but he felt as if he saw his mother who was acting like a baby to his father on weekdays, or Lindsay who was leaning on Dean's shoulder and whispering softly.

In just a split second, he understood again, and before Natalie could say anything more, he said, "It was my fault for profiling Dean before, Nat, my teacher told me that I shouldn't profile myself casually." Teammates, this is the minimum respect."

Natalie just wanted to say it's okay, but she looked at Jacques' clear and calm eyes, calmed down a little, and said, "I, am I just your teammate?"

Jacques nodded as a matter of course: "Of course, we are the best teammates."

"Then, last time in the mansion, we hugged and danced together, and you introduced me to them as yours..."

"That's because of the mission, Nat," Jacques suddenly realized, "Didn't Dean tell you? The ambassador's wife passed away unexpectedly a few days ago, and a couple like this can break through his psychological defense."

"What couple combination?" Natalie asked in a daze.

Jacques said frankly: "I told the ambassador that I was going to propose to you and hoped to get his blessing."

Natalie really didn't know whether to be angry or sad looking at the innocent young man, her voice trembling: "Tell me they came up with this idea."

"No, it's me." As soon as Jacques opened his mouth, he saw Natalie's eyes blazing with anger, and his biological instinct made him continue to add, "But Dean picked people, and it was Levine's suggestion not to tell you the truth."

Natalie held her forehead, and she said weakly, "Forget it, let's go."

Jacques didn't understand, so: "You don't look well, I can stay with you."

"No, I don't need it." Natalie closed the door cruelly, but she didn't move. She just stood there, listening to Jacques' hesitant and hesitant steps outside the door, and finally walking away slowly. She didn't say anything. She didn't say it, but she didn't know why, she felt like a lonely clown now, she had waited so long by herself only to think that she could have a little glory in the eyes of that person, but when she opened her eyes, she realized that everything Everything about him is just his own boundless illusion.

Natalie stood quietly at the door, and suddenly heard the faint sound of a harmonica in the distance. She held her breath, and her eyes suddenly brightened again. She knew that it was Jacques.

The fact that he didn't leave made Natalie both happy and desperate, and slowly, her gaze faded again.

This kind of me is really pitiful, just thinking about it, my eyes slowly turn red.