a quarter of his

"Fanzi, are you okay, why does your face look so bad?"

In the self-study room, Zhuang Mengyuan and Xie Chao walked in together, and they almost couldn't recognize Lin Jingfan.

"Cold", Lin Jingfan said hoarsely, "Where's Tianmei?"

"I'm buying yogurt downstairs." Zhuang Mengyuan chose the seat behind him and sat down. Lin Jingfan turned around and raised an eyebrow at the two of them, "You two, what's the situation?"

"Oh, you, you know what you are asking", Zhuang Mengyuan said angrily to him, and this female man actually blushed in a rare way.

Lin Jingfan laughed twice, then turned to Xie Chao again.

Xie Chao didn't evade this time, he calmly held Zhuang Mengyuan's hand on the table, and said with a smile, "Tell me, what do you want me to invite?"

"Of course it's hot pot." Xiang Tian quietly appeared behind, "But let's wait until Fanzi recovers from his cold."

Lin Jingfan said hoarsely to Xie Chao: "Be nice to Yuanyuan, you know that our fourth class is notoriously fierce."

"Yo", Xie Chaole said, "You're threatening me."

"Why don't you let me interview you about how you feel now, whether it's the feeling of marrying your daughter, tsk, every girl in your fourth class is out of order, you have to worry about it once."

"That's not it," Zhuang Mengyuan was also happy, "Fan Zai is the natal family of our whole class."

"Get out", Lin Jingfan silently mouthed, and several people laughed together.

"Okay, stop laughing now," Xiang Tian stuffed him with a cup of hot water, "Laughing is uglier than crying, I feel sick from the flu, you'll wait downstairs in the dormitory, I'll get it for you Light the lotus to clear away the plague."

"No need," Lin Jingfan said with a hoarse voice, "I'm already much better, but my voice is hoarse."

"Stop talking!" Several people said at the same time, and they laughed again after speaking.

Lin Jingfan followed everyone to have fun, and when he leaned back to the table, a trace of sadness flashed across his eyes.

He has been in a cold war with Ying Zhe for five days.

For five whole days, he didn't look for him, nor did he contact him.

Calling it the Cold War doesn't really count. They didn't quarrel, didn't have a misunderstanding, and they even talked about everything.

But precisely because of this, I feel even more powerless.

Disagreement is fatal.

Ying Zhe will get married in the future, but Lin Jingfan will not.

Ying Zhe is getting married.

Lin Jingfan only felt that this absurdity was unbelievable, and it was so natural.

Compared with this, the deceptions and misunderstandings in the past seem to be trivial.

Lin Jingfan couldn't describe his feelings when he knew about this matter. In fact, until now, whenever he thinks of Ying Zhe, the emotion associated with this name still makes his heart ache.

How to do?

Lin Jingfan didn't know either, this question was almost unsolvable to him.

He could understand Ying Zhe's thoughts, but he couldn't understand why Ying Zhe didn't tell him in advance.

But Ying Zhe cannot even be blamed for this, because their understandings were different from the very beginning.

Life belongs to life, and feelings belong to feelings.

Lin Jingfan thought that it would be good to just separate his relationship from his life completely, but what Ying Zhe understood was that he should fall in love when he can do whatever he wants. In the future, he should return to "normal" and start a family.

How ridiculous, thinking back to the day they first met when they mentioned this sentence, they all thought that what the other said was what they thought in their hearts.

How to do?

Lin Jingfan even thought about forgetting everything about that day.

Everything between him and Ying Zhe is business as usual, anyway, lovers who are in love again may not be able to make it to the end.He loves Ying Zhe so much now, but it doesn't mean he still loves him a few years later.Just indulge in this for a few years, and it doesn't matter if the relationship is gone before breaking up.

But he knew it was impossible.

Broken glass cannot be restored, and the spilled water cannot be recovered, not to mention that this has touched his bottom line.

Break up, just break up.

Lin Jingfan lowered his head and lay down on the table, as long as he thought of breaking up, his chest would be so congested that he couldn't breathe.

He took a deep breath, forcing back the tears that were about to overflow the corners of his eyes, packed his things, and went back to the dormitory.

Night falls on this campus.

As usual, Zhou Xiang was videoing with his girlfriend in the hallway, Xu Zequn was watching anime as usual, and Zhang Zhao was lol with the dormitory next door as usual.

The watch world is functioning normally and nothing has changed.

Only Lin Jingfan knew that his inner world had been torn apart and was about to collapse.

After returning to the dormitory, he turned on the computer and wrote some codes.

In the past two days, he has always kept himself very busy, previewing and reviewing every day, even taking out the most annoying codes.

It seems that only if he fills his life to the brim, he will not have time to think wildly and think over and over again those unsolvable problems.

But at night, lying in bed, the first thing to do when turning on the phone is to open the chat interface with Ying Zhe habitually.

The chat history stays on the day they met in the small playground, Lin Jingfan almost cast a shadow on that day.

Let's break up, Lin Jingfan, he said to himself.

We can only break up, Lin Jingfan, do we really have to wait until his wedding day?

Lin Jingfan took a deep breath, and finally clicked on the chat with Ying Zhe with red eyes. Just as he tapped the letter "f" with his fingertips, he saw the message "The other party is typing..." at the top of the dialog box.

He has something to say?Lin Jingfan's heart beat uncontrollably.

He doesn't even know whether he expects more or fears more.

After a while, Ying Zhe stopped typing.

After a while, the other party displayed "The other party is typing..."

For half an hour, there were no less than a dozen times "the other party is typing..." displayed over there, and Lin Jingfan's heart also went up and down.

- Let's break up.

In the end, Ying Zhe only sent three words.

Lin Jingfan let out a long sigh of relief, closed his eyes, feeling unwilling, but it could only be like this.

-it is good.

he back.

- yes, see you for the last time

Ying Zhe said cautiously, afraid that he would not agree, so he hastily added a sentence.

- i'm not thinking of anything else, i'm just

He typed halfway, and seemed to be unable to continue, but Lin Jingfan understood it.

- say goodbye.

They made an appointment at the North Gate, where the two met for the first time.

Ying Zhe's face was more haggard than the previous two days, even though he had decided to break up, seeing him like this, Lin Jingfan still couldn't help but feel pain in his heart.

"Jiji", when he was two steps away from him, Lin Jingfan stopped and called out.

Ying Zhe was looking at his mobile phone, but when he heard this, he suddenly raised his head.That appearance reminded Lin Jingfan of the same dazed expression when he first saw him, but the state of mind at that time was quite different.

"You're here," Ying Zhe laughed, as if he wanted to reach out and hold him back.

"Where are you going?" Lin Jingfan looked around, it was already late, and there was no one near the north gate.

"Du, let's go," Ying Zhe said, "Go to the place we often go to."

After finishing speaking, he smiled awkwardly, "It seems that there are not many people who go there often."

Lin Jingfan was so uncomfortable that he couldn't speak, he turned around and walked out first.

They walked to the teaching building, and it was pitch black in classroom 302.

That day Ying Zhe was sitting in the last row, Lin Jingfan overslept and was almost late, sat next to Ying Zhe and asked him, "Have we met before?"

Ying Zhe: "I felt like you at that time, but I didn't dare to hook up with you. I always seem to be so cowardly."

Lin Jingfan: "I think you are quite handsome and have a nice voice. There must be many girls who like you."

They sat silently in the same position that day, Lin Jingfan turned his head, only seeing Ying Zhe's handsome profile in the dark.

They came to the study room.

Lin Jingfan said: "I was scared to death when I saw that "Jiji Loves Fish" was only 0KM away from me.When I was about to doubt you, I saw Sister Xi calling you, and I thought, oh, you should be a straight man. "

Ying Zhe: "At that time, I was dying of a cold, and blued was spread out in the pocket of the desk. If I hadn't slept at that time..."

"If you hadn't slept at that time," Lin Jingfan answered easily, "We might have met by now."

Ying Zhe: "I was really touched when you gave me the lotus flower Qingwen that night."

Lin Jingfan: "It's nothing, you sent me off too."

There are people coming and going downstairs in the dormitory.

Ying Zhe: "That day I fed Lin Xiaofan here...I, can I still call it that?"

"Call it." Lin Jingfan's eyes were a little red, "It sounds nice, and Ying Xiaoji also sounds nice."

"You came back with a gift." Ying Zhe's voice trembled, but he tried his best to control it, "I thought you were out of order, and I thought my gay radar was wrong."

They walked west along the path to the cafeteria.

Lin Jingfan said: "When I open my eyes every day during the winter vacation, the happiest thing is to chat with you. That day you told me 'everyone has a skeleton in their closet', and that's when I really accepted myself."

Ying Zhe whispered, "My skeleton is myself."

"Don't say that," Lin Jingfan walked backwards and stopped at a place, "You know, I recognized you on this road."

"Really?" Ying Zhe said with a smile, "You never told me this."

"I was shocked to death at the time, but later I found out that you still didn't know so stupidly, and I thought it was funny."

They came downstairs to the studio.

The roof was pitch black, Lin Jingfan quietly looked at the place where the studio was.

That day, he was in this place when he fell in love with the boy in the light blue plaid shirt.

"I was really bored during the few days you were teaching," Ying Zhe said as they walked towards the computer room along the road, "I was so nervous that I couldn't sleep that night."

"I've also been nervous for a long time, and I'm afraid that I'll scare you to death when I see you."

"It really scared me to death", Ying Zhe smiled exaggeratedly, he raised his hand, as if he wanted to rub Lin Jingfan, but put it down embarrassingly.

The lights were still on in the computer room, and they sat in the last row.

Ying Zhe said, "I didn't expect your code to be so bad."

Lin Jingfan: "At that time, I thought you were pretending to be TA, and I thought this guy was quite brave."

The two looked at each other and smiled, each seeing sadness in the other's eyes.

"Where are we going at the next stop?" Ying Zhe breathed out, his eyes were red, but he tried his best to look relaxed.

"Small square." Lin Jingfan remembered something, and said, "The origami heart is still in my book."

"Throw it away," Ying Zhe said, "You will have better things in the future."

Lin Jingfan shook his head, but did not speak.

The small square was deserted, with no lights and no stage.

They once held hands in a sea of ​​people, and then exited together in a climax.

Lin Jingfan said: "Sing a few lines and I'll listen."

Ying Zhe understood, and sang softly: "Honey, from that day on, it's easy to be sweet."

Lin Jingfan: "Honey, don't be willful, your eyes are saying I love you."

They finally came to the small playground.

It was late at night, and there was no one on the playground. They walked side by side on the track.

The barbed wire was shaken by the wind, and Ying Zhe's voice came from the wind.

"We had our first date here, and that day I was thinking how honest this guy is."

They walked quietly around the playground, and this small playground carried too many memories of them.

They chatted here, and they kissed and lingered here.

Here, like the musty little hotel in Ximen, is their own Garden of Eden.

"The feeling of you pulling me to run 1000 meters that time may never be forgotten in my life," Lin Jingfan said, "There is a kind of, um, feeling of being redeemed."

"It's as if I've been in the darkness, and suddenly I see a light."

Lin Jingfan stopped suddenly, his voice was choked with sobs, his throat kept rising and falling, but he was still trying his best to control himself.

"I'm sorry," Ying Zhe's voice trembled, and Lin Jingfan burst into tears almost instantly.

"It's okay." Lin Jingfan tried his best to make himself look relaxed, "I'm also... sorry."

"You're really nice." Ying Zhe shook his head and gave a forced smile, "I'm not good enough for you."

Lin Jingfan laughed through tears, "Is this sending me a good person card?"

"You know I don't mean that," Ying Zhe looked at him seriously.

"You are also very good." The two leaned on the horizontal bar, Lin Jingfan looked up at the sky, "You have also taught me a lot."

There are no stars tonight, and a full moon hangs quietly in the purple-black sky.

The campus evening radio station is broadcasting "Fate is Hard" by Jian Tian.

"Tell me," Ying Zhe said suddenly, "When will homosexuality be considered normal?"

"There will be a day," Lin Jingfan said blankly, "but I don't think I can see it."

"If", Ying Zhe looked at him sideways, "I mean, if we were born in an era when homosexuality is legal, would we be together forever?"

There was a hint of hope in Ying Zhe's eyes, Lin Jingfan felt sad for a while, and felt that he was going to be out of breath.

"It will," he said, "it will."

They didn't talk anymore, they were as quiet as every night.

At ten fifty-five, the alarm clock rang.

It's time to lock the door.

"Do you want to go to Ximen again?" Lin Jingfan teased with a smile.

"No," Ying Zhe said, "Go back."

Like all previous times, they walked out of the small playground side by side and walked back downstairs to the dormitory.

"Then, goodbye." Ying Zhe looked at Lin Jingfan.

"Goodbye."

They say goodbye like they always do, just verbally, not "good night" or "see you tomorrow" anymore.

The resolute and firm singing of Jiantian still echoed in the campus.

- After 200 years of being together, you should not be afraid of others being unconvinced

-The reunion may be twenty years late, but I still haven't given up

-Together in another era, waiting for the thorns to die

- This expectation is very long, and I am determined to wait until the end

- can afford to wait

The author has something to say: I strongly recommend "Fate is Hard" by Xie Tian, ​​it is so good!

Ying Zhe has received the lunch box, and there will be one appearance in the second and third volumes, but the scenes are relatively small.

In other words, I want to know what kind of person Ying Zhe is in everyone's mind. When I wrote it myself, I felt like a "fan of the authorities", but after reading it, my friend liked Ying Zhe quite a lot and felt sorry for him.How do you feel, I want to hear everyone's opinions~

I still love you today~