after being terminally ill

I thought that it would be difficult to see Yu Yunzhi again, but I never expected that one night after that, I was lying on the bed, the high fever had just subsided, and my mind was in a daze. I vaguely felt a chill on my face, as if something cold was stuck to me face, gentle touch.

I couldn't help rubbing comfortably.

But soon I felt something was wrong, opened my eyes vigilantly, and then saw a vague figure standing in front of my bed.

I regained my sanity in an instant, and wanted to sit up, but my shoulders were pressed, and then a familiar voice sounded in a low voice: "I am Yu Yunzhi."

I opened my eyes wide in surprise, and took a closer look. The person standing with the moonlight behind his back was indeed Yu Yunzhi whom I kept in my heart and missed for a long time.

I almost thought I was dreaming.

In the hazy moonlight, I vaguely saw a faint smile on the corner of Yu Yunzhi's mouth.

I was dumbfounded, just thinking, such a beautiful scene is too unreal, I must be in a dream.

Yu Yunzhi sat by my bed.

"I originally wanted to come to see you, but you know that Song Zizhuo didn't want to." In such a night, Yu Yunzhi's Qinglingling voice seemed to have a hint of tenderness.

My heart was beating like a drum, and I was even more sure that this was just a dream.

How could the real Yu Yun know how to say such a thing, say that he——actually said that he wanted to see me.

Yu Yunzhi looked down at me, his expression hazy in the night.

He stretched out his hand to brush the hair on my forehead, the temperature of his fingers was cool, but as gentle as the moonlight.

Yu Yunzhi combed my hair slowly: "Song Zizhuo made you like this, right?"

I nodded.

"Then you... hate him?"

I hesitated for a moment, then slowly shook my head.

Yu Yunzhi has such a good relationship with Song Zizhuo, so he must not want to hear me say that he hates Song Zizhuo.

Yu Yunzhi's hand paused: "So you don't hate him?"

After a while, he let out a sneer: "In this way you don't hate him..."

I felt something was wrong and looked at him with wide eyes, but because he was against the light, I really couldn't see his expression clearly.

"Forget it," Yu Yunzhi sighed vaguely, "you should have a good rest."

After finishing speaking, he covered my eyes with his hands, stood up, and then left lightly.

After Yu Yunzhi left, the faint scent of mint on his body seemed to still linger on the tip of my nose, making it even more difficult for me to tell whether the conversation with him was real or a dream.

Recalling the past, the intoxication became more and more severe.

Before I knew it, I fell into a light sleep.

Half asleep and half awake, I felt a person clumsily supporting me, walked a few steps, and then simply picked me up.

His back is broad and steady, the type that makes people feel safe.

But I don't want to lean on here, there is no other reason, it's just because even if I'm drunk and unconscious, I can feel that the breath of the person I'm leaning on makes me extremely disgusted and resists approaching.

And Song Zizhuo is the only person in this world who I can hate so much.

Faced with such a situation, after being drunk, I suddenly couldn't bear it anymore. I kept struggling on Song Zizhuo's back, wanting to stay away from him.

Song Zizhuo suppressed me again and again, panting from exhaustion, and finally pushed me into the car. I vaguely heard him complain: "Usually he looks obedient, but it's amazing to go crazy when drunk."

Song Zizhuo sent me home.

He has never been able to take care of people, he just threw me on the bed sloppily, and then he was about to leave.

I heard his footsteps fading away, and I rolled up the quilt and prepared to fall asleep.

But I didn't expect that he would go and come back, patted me awake, and then handed me a cup of hot water.

I looked at the cup of hot water, my mind was dazed, and suddenly I asked him: "Why did you lie to me for so long? Just to trick me into the swimming pool?"

Song Zizhuo's hands were stiff. He looked at me, was silent for a while, and then said: "Back then... At first I really wanted to lie to you, but later I felt that getting along with you like that is not bad... But, at that time, Yun Zhitong I bet, if you know that I lied to you, you will hate me and stay away from me... In order to prove what he said is wrong, I will..."

In fact, after asking this question, I regretted it, because it didn't make any sense.

Why Song Zizhuo lied to me is actually not important now, the harm he has done to me has already been done, even if I know the reason, it will not change in any way.

That being the case, why bother to ask.

So after the question, when he was silent, I decided not to listen to his answer, just closed my eyes, and let myself fall into a dream according to the will of my body.

When I woke up the next morning, I was haunted by a hangover headache and nausea.

I leaned on the bed and retched a few times. I felt blackness in front of my eyes and roaring in my brain. I lost all strength for a while, and I could only lie powerlessly on the side of the bed.

After finally recovering, I saw glaring blood stains on the light blue bed sheet.

Subconsciously touched his face, and the nosebleed continued.

I smiled bitterly, drank the medicine as usual, and followed the steps to stop the bleeding.

My emotions were really out of control last night.

Even though he was repeatedly told by the doctor to avoid alcohol, he still drank so much alcohol, no wonder the reaction is so serious now.

I threw the dirty sheets into the washing machine, and listened blankly to the humming of the washing machine. I recalled everything from last night in my mind, and then I couldn't help but think of Yu Yunzhi.

When I think of this name, my heart hurts.

It's almost a reflex for me.

Yu Yunzhi is obviously someone I shouldn't fall in love with, but feelings are always out of human control.

Up to this point, Yu Yunzhi has become a demon that I cannot get rid of in this short life.

I suddenly started to regret that I didn't take a good look at him yesterday.

Now I only remember that his stature is taller than that of three years ago, his face has been fully opened, his brows and eyes are still handsome, but he has more adult coldness and maturity.

Besides, I didn't have time to observe him more, and I didn't have time to notice other changes in him.

I never even spoke a word to him.

I couldn't help but sigh.

Yesterday was probably my last chance to meet him.

From now on—until I die, I'm afraid I won't have the chance to see him again.

But I failed to cherish it.

Even if he would ignore me, I should take the initiative to say a few words to him.

I really don't want to be in an inexplicable cold war with the person I love the most at the end of my life.

Thinking of this, I hesitated again and again, turned on the computer, entered the email address that I had already known by heart, and after careful consideration, I typed a line: [-] o'clock tonight, old place, I will wait for you.

I don't know if Yu Yunzhi can see this message, or even if he is still using this mailbox.

But I hit the send button anyway.

I'm going to just rely on God's will this time. If he can see my news and is willing to go to the appointment, then I will try my best to settle the past with him and get rid of this regret.

But if he doesn't see my message, or if he sees it and refuses to go to the appointment, then I'll take it as if there is no fate between us.

In the rest of the time, I will try my best to forget him and live the last part of my life well.

I started tidying up early on, carefully arranged my hair and clothes, and wanted to go to this appointment with the best posture.

I arrived at the old place I told him a long time earlier—a private room in a restaurant.

The author has something to say:

The sun flies away...