sad li bai

An Ling was in a hurry when he came, and rushed to Xu Ning's dormitory in a few steps.When he went downstairs, he was buzzing slowly, as if waiting for someone to call his name all the time, but the corridor was unusually quiet.It seemed like everyone had fallen asleep.Until he walked out of Xu Ning's dormitory, no one told him to turn back.

He raised his head, the moonlight was completely covered by clouds, the sky was pitch black, and he couldn't see anything.

Warm yellow street lights have been turned on in the campus. The tall trees on both sides of the road have lost their leaves. Under the reflection of the street lights, the branches of the tall trees have circles of light, as if covered with yellow lanterns.

His slender arms hung limply by his sides, his shoulders were slack, and there was a sense of despair and irritability surrounding his whole body.The street lamps elongated his figure, and a thin one stood in front of him.It made An Ling feel even more bored and irritable.His cell phone vibrated suddenly in his trouser pocket, he took it out impatiently and glanced at it, it was Yan Shu's.

As soon as he picked it up, Yan Shu Magnetic's deep voice asked him if he wanted to pick him up at the train station.His car is about to pull in.

An Ling's heart was very disturbed, and his eyes flickered.He didn't know what to do next, and he was even more afraid that he couldn't help but do something that he would regret.

So I left the school, stopped a taxi on the side of the road, and told the driver to go to the station.The quiet and dark rear compartment prevented the driver from seeing his expression.But inexplicably, the driver, who was always talkative, felt that this stern boy might not be in a good mood, and there was a strange silence in the car along the way.

But the quiet atmosphere in the car and the street scenes passing by on both sides of the car window couldn't calm down An Ling's heart. He suddenly remembered that when their team played the last game, Yan Shu asked him if he wanted to go to the province together. The sports university is close to home, and the school facilities are not bad.He also seemed to feel good at the time.

So why is he now working so hard to go to a key university in D City to take a bullshit exam that he doesn't even know what it is.Tired like a dog, isn't it cheap? Search is secretly happy because he can be with Xu Ning, and even Xu Ning messed up the two of them because of an inexplicable girl.He was also a little more worried than angry, and he wasn't impatient at all. He just didn't want Xu Ning to be angry, didn't want Xu Ning to regret, and was even more afraid that he would regret being with him.

He smiled wryly, feeling that he really liked Xu Ning very much. He used to hate other people's unreasonable troubles the most, and obviously he was not the one who fell in love with him first, but in the end he cared so much that he didn't want to separate at all.

An Ling was smoking a cigarette at the gate of the train station. The light from the cigarette butt flickered between his fingers. He lowered his head, looking a little depressed.After calming down all the hostility in his body, he is also a simple and innocent boy who is at a loss because of falling in love, he is reluctant to let go, let alone see him making Xu Ning so sad.

When Yan Shu came out, he saw a beast licking its wounds after being injured. His eyes were downcast and he was restless, not at all like the domineering An Ling before.

"How can you use this kind of mood to greet me who hasn't seen me for so long, bad luck, treat me to dinner quickly, and welcome me." He punched An Ling in the chest, causing An Ling's body to lean back.An Ling smiled and hit back vigorously. At this time, he really needed a brother who understood him to accompany him for a drink.

"Yan Shu, you said that I have never understood Xu Ning's heart, why?" An Ling had something on his mind, so he got drunk very quickly, or he didn't want to wake himself up.

Yan Shu almost laughed out loud, such a literary question is really not like a question that An Ling would ask, he has always followed the way of dealing with things as long as he understands your body.But he answered seriously, even though the answer didn't sound serious.

"You and Xu Ning have different things in your mind, so of course you can't figure it out."

"But it hurts, I feel uncomfortable, I'm not happy." An Ling pointed at his heart, he couldn't open his eyes, he didn't want to wake up and see Xu Ning's red-eyed face that was still hidden in his mind.

Yan Shu grabbed the wine bottle that An Ling was still pouring into his mouth, and put it aside.He looked at An Ling and thought for a long time before speaking.

"An Ling, are you serious?" An Ling glanced at him, but without saying a word, he just stretched out his hand to reach for the wine bottle that was about to bottom out.

Yan Shu also guessed by himself that An Ling should have been serious long before going to City D, so An Ling, a person who doesn't care whether he is motivated or not, suddenly didn't go to the provincial boys' sports school, and went to such a place they had only heard of. , Never plan to go to the university to take the exam.

Originally, their future has been arranged at home. If you develop well, your family will be icing on the cake, and if your development is not good, your family will support you. Even if this is not good, they know it in their hearts, and they have always been lazy.So Yan Shu asked Xu Ning to stay away from An Ling, saying that they are not the same person.

Yan Shu looked at An Ling, who couldn't hide the tiredness between his brows, and knew that although he didn't tell him in detail about going to City D this time, it was obviously far from the school he had considered before. It must be very uncomfortable for Zi to be among people who are as good as him, and some people are even better than him.But up to now, An Ling still hasn't shown any intention of giving up.It shows that he would rather endure these things than go to City D, and what makes him so determined is that Xu Ning's favorite university is there.

"An Ling, if you are serious, you need to know that the problem between you is not Wen Wen, she is just an introduction. If Xu Ning really likes you, he must be concerned about gains and losses. Coupled with the messy things you did before, Xu Ning To have a sense of security can only show that he has a big heart, but Xu Ning is obviously not."

An Ling frowned, as if a hundred small subwoofers had been turned on in his mind all night, shaking his head to the point of exploding.He has no excuses for his previous life, and he can't assume that those things didn't happen, but now he only wants to like Xu Ning, and only wants to be with Xu Ning, what happened before.

"An Ling, you have to understand Xu Ning. He likes you so much, and he's not a girl. He must be under a lot of pressure. Besides, unless Xu Ning accommodates you, you two seem to have no future at all."

Yan Shu looked at An Ling with a serious expression and a sincere attitude.He admitted that for them, a pure straight man like An Ling with 100% masculine charm was very attractive, but it was also really too dangerous.You know his sexuality, that's a fact you can never change, you never know if you will lose to a girl, for no reason, just because you are the same gender as him, you will fail , a crushing defeat.

He didn't know whether Yan Shu could listen to what he said.He just hoped that An Ling would be fine.He watched An Ling take another big gulp of wine with a blank expression, and the excess wine flowed down his chin to his neck and slipped past his Adam's apple.to his strong chest.An Ling already looked like a very mature man, even though he was still in high school.If An Ling didn't understand how to give Xu Ning a sense of security, Xu Ning would face endless unease and worry.There will be countless quarrels between them that will torture each other.

"An Ling, you should at least give Xu Ning the confidence that you are worthy of giving up everything for you, and tell Xu Ning with your actual actions that you want to be with him." He couldn't imagine Xu Ning like that Self-respecting people, how to suppress their jealousy like a poisonous snake, is a sin that even God cannot forgive.

If there is always anxiety and jealousy, no matter how proud the heart is, it will be dragged into hell little by little.He hoped that Xu Ning and An Ling would have a good result, and he hoped that Xu Ning could fully maintain his original nature.

"I signed up for a [-]-day supplementary class, which is closed and cannot bring communication equipment. You are like this, why don't you separate and calm down, think about it, are you really ready to be together? As for these days, you Just go to cram school with me, no matter what, you should work hard for the future first."

Yan Shu collided his wine bottle with An Ling's, and there was a crisp crash.

An Ling didn't say a word. The past can't be changed after it happened. Instead of getting entangled in the things that can't be changed, it's better to focus on the present and the future.At the very least, he thinks that what Yan Shu said is right, he should let Xu Ning understand that he is willing to face their future with Xu Ning, he should think about the future arrangement, even if they are separated, he is not willing, see Xu Ning again today Such sad.

Xu Ning went to class the next day with eyes that were swollen like peaches. He didn't sleep all night. After An Ling left yesterday, he started to get scared. He was afraid that An Ling would never come back. He didn't know how to explain it to An Ling, even though they were already together, his heart was always hanging high, anxious and restless.An Ling is like a fluctuating stock. Everyone knows that it is a stock that will rise, but how can he catch it.

So he clearly couldn't accept being separated from An Ling, but he still couldn't control himself.

His already precarious self-esteem couldn't tolerate any more stains. He didn't dare to imagine that if An Ling was with a girl one day and refused to tell her about his feelings, whether his self-esteem could bear it.The calmness on his face couldn't hide the panic in his heart.It was me who started the dispute, it was me who forced An Ling away, and it was me who was reluctant to let go.This contradictory and repeated mood forced him to feel that he was about to become mentally ill.But even if it is already like this.

He still prefers to deceive himself and others to believe that An Ling likes him, because what is getting closer and closer to the college entrance examination is not his future, but a future that may not have An Ling.

He reached into the desk and took out his phone.Still no information on the clean interface.

An Ling hasn't looked for him since they quarreled for 30 hours.Not a text message, not a phone call.He didn't know why he couldn't have a good talk with An Ling. He called up the interface several times and closed it again. It's beautiful and I can't tell.

He secretly hoped to see An Ling send the message first, and he didn't want to be the first to show weakness to the other party every time, and he was not the only one who felt sad and entangled in the quarrel.

He looked down and saw that he was newly wearing the overcoat that An Ling brought over yesterday, and the black trousers. The size was close to the body, and it was comfortable and good-looking to wear.

He remembered that An Ling was also dressed like this yesterday. The two of them seemed to be wearing couple clothes in a different time and space. He fantasized about the scene of them standing together and thought it must be very eye-catching.

He silently hoped that An Ling could contact him when he saw him wearing clothes.Because his self-esteem entangled him, had brought him to the edge of the cliff, and let him see himself falling to pieces as he regressed again and again.To let him know that he can no longer retreat, behind him is a cliff, and the abyss cannot be seen.