gray love

My heart, a bird of the wild, found its sky in your eyes.

Because of one sentence, I fell in love with her.

When I can't sleep at night, all I can think of is her——Yu Xiao.

A young female teacher who likes to wear a ponytail, I have never observed her appearance carefully, and now even her frown and frown are blurred, and my understanding of her is only limited to her name and gender, I laughed at myself and stood up Turn on the bedside lamp, leaning on the pillow and thinking wildly.

Maybe Dad has her detailed information. I suddenly had a flash of inspiration, and turned to look at the alarm clock on the right. The time was fixed at three o'clock in the morning. Now no matter which hemisphere or area Dad is in, it should not be a rest point. well!I can't manage that much anymore.

I got up and walked quickly to the computer, wrote a brief email and sent it.Dad doesn't like to look at his phone, but he must read emails.Sure enough, he replied after a while. This was the fastest reply I received from my dad.

The information is really detailed enough, but I was first fascinated by her ID photo, maybe this is her photo in college, or the ponytail, fair skin, rippling eyes, shallow smile, light makeup...

I put away my nympho gaze and looked at the personal information. When I saw the age and education background, I was shocked. I was 22, a graduate student.

This makes me, who is still in the first year of high school at the age of seventeen, feel so embarrassed.

I smiled wryly and continued browsing.

Marital status, unmarried, when I saw these words, I suddenly breathed a sigh of relief inexplicably, and I laughed secretly in my heart, do I still want to marry her?hehe.

I curled my lips in a self-deprecating manner, but the smile hadn't solidified yet, but I suddenly became depressed, maybe... think about it.

I took a deep breath and lit a cigarette, recovering.

Work unit, H City No. [-] Middle School.

No. [-] Middle School, a well-known provincial key high school, once persuaded me to quit the high school, but now it fascinates me.

I stood up and walked to the floor-to-ceiling windows, smoking a cigarette while looking at the dark night outside the window. The computer screen was frozen on her profile. This was the first time I missed her so well.

I didn't sleep in the daytime class, because my mind was full of that person. I stared blankly at the blackboard, no matter how noisy the people around me were, I still turned a deaf ear.

After school in the afternoon, I had my hair cut and exposed my forehead to look more energetic. After looking at myself in the mirror with satisfaction, I hurried home.

In the evening, after I reviewed the lessons she taught a few days ago, she came. This is the first time I have studied so seriously in the past few years, and I am a little moved by myself.

All night, she was very serious, I didn't find any free time to chat with her, she always filled up her time, but not before, before she would leave some rest time to chat with me, even if I was right She is lukewarm.

Maybe she did it on purpose, because of yesterday's embarrassment.

I was taken aback, and unknowingly stopped the pen in my hand, "Snap!" She hit the top of my head lightly with a book, and I quickly put away my thoughts and continued to calculate the problem.

At nine o'clock, the tuition was over, she hurriedly packed up the books and said goodbye to me, I politely said "goodbye, teacher" in a calm voice, but my heart was pounding like a deer.

When she opened the door of the study, I suddenly stopped her.

"Old...teacher..."

With his back to me, Teacher Yu turned his head slightly.

"Hmm... Teacher, can you leave your phone number? In case I have any questions..." Although I already know her phone number, I think it's better to ask her face to face.

Yu Xiao turned her head and looked at me.

This is the first official eye contact after removing the formula book tonight.

I looked at her the same way, and my face started to heat up.

"What are you doing in a daze? Where's the phone?"

"Oh, oh, I forgot." When I took out the phone, my brain suddenly "hummed".

"What's wrong?" the teacher asked suspiciously.

"Uh...let's save it with your mobile phone. My mobile phone is a little...faulty." I avoided her eyes, afraid that she would see through the lie.

"Okay" said the teacher took out his mobile phone, unlocked it and handed it to me.

I reached out to catch it in secret joy, but when I saw the phone wallpaper, I was stunned again.

It was a selfie with her and...another man.

From a place of nothing, to a place of nothing, this is my current mood.

My feelings were killed in the cradle, but I knew in my heart that I was not in the cradle. My feelings had grown into a towering tree, but it was a lonely tree from beginning to end.

I'm in unrequited love, she doesn't know anything, but I wish I didn't know anything either.

The furthest distance in this world may be this, I think of you, but you think of him.

I was waiting for a ship at the airport, and that ship had already parked on the other side of him.

I put my hands down and bowed my head.

"Teacher... I'm a little uncomfortable." I whispered.

Teacher Yu was taken aback, and asked in a concerned tone: "What's wrong? What's wrong?"

I kept silent and put my phone on the desk next to her, brushed past her, and rushed out the door.

I stood at the door, staring blankly at the ground.

tears welling up...

She left, and I walked by the swimming pool, the water waves reflected on my face, flickering, I smiled at myself.

In her eyes, I may be a passer-by, A, B, C, D. She can say what she said yesterday to any of her students, so which one am I?

I'm just her student, yes, a female student, the most unruly and ordinary student she has ever taught in her life.Maybe when she comes home from work, she will lie in her boyfriend's arms and complain, "You know what? It's so hard to be a teacher. That female student is really shameless. Don't be mad at me anymore.", maybe she She also took her boyfriend's hand and said coquettishly: "I wish you were that student so we can be together every night."

I was thinking wildly, but my heart was convulsing and coughing up blood.

Unrequited love can still give me a little hope, but now I am so poor that I am only disappointed.

I stood by the pool, with my back to the rippling water, backed up, leaned back, and fell into the water.

Thank you for giving me one day of satisfaction.

I didn't stay at home obediently, and came to the craziest and loudest bar in H city.

I picked up one of the most remote corners, did not buy drunk, only cigarettes...

Sobriety is the best medicine for me to heal my injuries. I smoked a cigarette and looked at the distorted crowd, staring blankly.

Several girls came to me to invite me to dance, but I refused, and I also bear the "infamy" of being cold.

"Hello." The waiter put a glass of cocktail in front of me

I looked at him blankly,

The waiter still smiled and said: "This is from the lead singer of our bar." He pointed to the other side of the crowd.

I looked along his fingers, a woman dressed in fashion, with flaming red lips, who looked like a cover model was chatting with someone, I looked at her, and felt a little familiar, she suddenly looked at me, and I looked at her too Except for Yu Xiao, I usually don't avoid other people's eyes. She smiled at me, picked up the wine glass, and clinked glasses with me in the air.

I didn't respond, I'm too lazy to deal with anyone now, I thought she would give up trying to strike up a conversation with me, but I didn't expect her to walk towards me with a glass of wine.

With a rock and roll style, it seems that she has just finished a performance.

"Hi, mind if I sit next to you?" She smiled at me.

"do not mind."

"Smoking is bad for your health." Her voice was very stable and mature, maybe it was soaked in this environment.

"We don't seem to know each other?" I said coldly.

She smiled meaningfully and said, "Did you forget me so quickly?"

I looked up at her, she still smiled charmingly.

I finally remembered her name and her face from two years ago.

At that time, she was still very pure, which was very different from now...

"Remember?" Her smile became incomprehensible.

I smiled and took a drag on my cigarette.

Smoky, she also lit a cigarette.

"Why do you work here? What about your conservatory? I remember you passed the exam?"

She let out a cloud of melancholy and remained silent.

I also took a puff of a cigarette and remained silent.

Five years ago, when I was 12 years old, my family had just moved to City H. At that time, I was forced to learn music. Every night, I went to music classes again and again, and there I met her, Chu Mo , an inspirational girl who was admitted to the famous music school in H City.

I call her sister and she calls me brother.

During the day we went to class separately, and at night we went to class together.

At that time, she was very serious, she sang well, she was pure and lovely, and she had a good personality. Teachers and classmates liked her very much.

At that time, I was very playful, often failed to hand in homework, mischievous, and my teachers and classmates hated me.

But she took good care of me. If I couldn’t hand in my homework, she would help me write an extra copy. If I couldn’t pass the exam, she would help me make up lessons. At that time, she was the goddess in my heart, superwoman.

The goddess was successfully admitted to the conservatory of music, and we also successfully cut off contact.

Until I looked at her who was puffing.

"Smoking is harmful to your health." I said, she smiled wryly and snuffed out the cigarette butt in her hand.

"Are you still playing music?" She asked me, and this time I smiled wryly: "Music, for me, is not playing, but being forced to practice."

"Do you still sing then? I remember that even though you didn't do well in your homework, you still sang pretty well."

"Don't sing."

I picked up the cocktail on the table and took a sip from the mouth of the bottle, moistening my throat spicyly. I remembered that she was playing the guitar and I was humming, and I helped her make up some pocket money under the sunset bridge.

Her family background is very ordinary. I don't know if she sang in the bar this time to collect pocket money like before.

"Are you broken in love?" Chu Mo looked at me with a smile.

"No." My wry smile made her see the clue.

"Then you are... crush?"

I looked up at her. I used to be able to see her emotions in her eyes, but now her eyes seemed to be covered with a layer of fog, making it hard to fathom.

Maybe it's the tempering of life, but in just two years, she really changed.

No matter what she becomes, she is no longer the goddess in my heart. I suddenly wanted to keep her at arm's length, so I said, "Sister, I have to go back, it's getting late."

She was a little disappointed, but she still didn't try to persuade her too much. We left each other's contact information and parted ways.

Now I only have Yu Xiao in my heart, and I don't want to get in touch with other women in depth.

After leaving the bar, I wandered on the street, and unconsciously came to Yu Xiao's house.

The direction of the heart follows the past.

In a dimly lit world, flickering and withering, no stars, no wind, no sound, I stood downstairs in Yu Xiao's house, guessing which floor and room she should belong to.

The love that caught me off guard, the love that made me crushed, at this time I have nothing left.

You can't love me, I can't love you...