gray love

Liu Chaofeng didn't call the police, probably because he found out about my family's influence, so he chose to be quiet.

I didn't go home, but went to City K, and found a hotel near Xiao's home to stay. I didn't tell her that I was in City K, but I had to contact her every day, or take a sneak peek at her.

Sometimes I feel that I am a terrible person, my paranoia and stubbornness, my love and hatred are clear, my hatred is like hatred, I will defend what I love with my life, but what I hate all points to a result—— destroy.

Xiao called me after hearing that Liu Chaofeng was beaten up. I was downstairs at her house at that time. She didn't want her parents to know what we were talking about, so she went downstairs, so we met naturally. up.

She was not surprised to see me and hung up the phone, and I hung up the phone too.

She had lost a lot of weight, her eyes were too thin and scary, her lips were bloodless, and she felt like she was about to collapse like a catastrophe.

"Xiao..."

"Call me teacher." She frowned, with deep wrinkles between her brows.

"Teacher..." I have tens of thousands of words to say, but after seeing her, I can't say a word dullly.

"What you promised me, you didn't do it." Her eyes were burning with anger, as if she hated iron and steel.

"Yes, I didn't do it, but... I had to!" My eyes were full of hatred.

She shook her head and looked at me with strange eyes: "Why do I feel that I just met you?"

"But I don't do that. How can you vent all your grievances and anger? Who can redress your grievances? Avenge you?!" I almost roared.

She sneered and said, "What's the difference between you and him?"

I froze and looked at her in surprise.

She approached step by step, her eyes were cold and strange: "You... are all barbarians."

She left, even the wind did not want to stay.

I froze in place.

That night, I finally thought about dying.I huddled in my hotel room, looking into the night, my pale cheeks frightening away ghosts, I looked at the glass on the table.

I broke the glass, I stroked the glass stubble in despair, I held up a sharp almost perfect glass stubble to the moonlight, I smelled the breath of death, maybe tomorrow, I will be in this clean and tidy hotel, four Yang eight prongs, the smell is unbearable.

I put the glass stubble in my mouth and bit it gently. I closed my eyes and let my brain rush forward. Blood dripped from the corner of my mouth, dripped on my palm, and spread in the lines of my palm.

Nothing hurts more than the pain in my heart. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the pain in my mouth. I suddenly thought of Chixi Island, a place with 360 degrees of no dead angle and sunrise. My eyes suddenly opened, and I spit out The glass stubble, walked to the pool and frantically rinsed his mouth.

Big mouthfuls of blood spread in the white pool.I looked at myself in the mirror and laughed with blood in my mouth.

Isn't suicide an act of barbarians?

The next day, I left City K and traveled all the way to Chixi Island.

When I got to this place, I realized that it was almost a desert island.With my luggage on my back, I was walking on an uninhabited island.There is a village nearby, but there are only old people and children. The young people have gone to work in Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou. The poor here don’t even have a hotel.

I asked the deaf old man who the head of the village was. He struggled to hear clearly, and pointed to the place where the sun was about to set with his crutches. Old man with a beard, he said with a smile: "Are you looking for the village chief? I am."

I was stunned for a moment, thinking that it would be too old for me. Just when I wondered if he was confused, he stood up from the stone and said with his hands behind his back, "What is the young man doing on the island?"

Sure enough, I didn't see my gender, so I smiled wryly and said, "I'm here to travel."

"Hahahaha." He laughed loudly, his white beard fluttering, "Is there anyone still visiting our island?"

I smiled awkwardly, and he waved his hand and said, "Come in, come in."

He invited me into his home, where there were two children who were estimated to be in the first or second year and a kind grandmother.

"Borrow at my house first. My house is the only one on this island that is decent." The old man invited me into the living room, saying that the living room looked like a [-]-square-meter warehouse to me, with piles of piles everywhere. clutter, not even a place to sit.

I put down my backpack, and two children, a boy and a girl, rushed over and looked at my bag in unison.

I touched their heads and asked the old woman beside them: "So cute, how old are they? What grade are they in?"

"The older girl is eight years old and the younger one is seven years old. They don't go to school." The old woman said.

"Didn't go to school? Why didn't you go to school?" I was surprised.

"Where can I go to school? There are no teachers or schools in the village." The old man's voice was still quite loud.

I was stunned, and after being stunned for two or three seconds, I squatted down and distributed all the snacks in the bag to them. They jumped up and down happily, and ran out holding something like a treasure. Find your own buddy.My nose was a little sore, looking at their childlike smiling faces, I suddenly felt very hateful. Maybe they won't get what I wasted in this life, and I was still spending money tirelessly an hour ago.

"Young man, what's wrong with your mouth?" The old woman asked with concern when she noticed the wound on my mouth.

"It's okay, accidental injury." I grinned.The old grandma turned around and went to another room. After a while, she took a bowl of water and said, "The sea water is a bit salty, young man, I think the crack on your mouth is dry and peeling. When will the wound heal? Let's go!" Drink some water to moisten your mouth."

I was moved and took it and drank it.

"Is there any vacant house here? It's better to be near the seaside." I asked the old man sitting on the sundries and the old man thought for a while and said, "Yes, there is, but it's been a long time since no one lived in it. "

"Can you take me to see it tomorrow?"

"Yes. If you can't live in people, what's the use of it?"

I looked at the orange-red sunset outside the door and didn't speak.

That house, I really didn't see it as a house, because it only had walls swaying in the wind to prove that it used to be a house, and the roof had long since disappeared, but in front of it was the endless sea and brown reefs , I looked at the sea and turned my head to look at the "house" and suddenly smiled with satisfaction.

Fifteen days later, I sat at the desk in that house and wrote a letter. After I finished writing, I took a boat to a relatively developed county and sent it to Xiao by express mail, and then I returned to that Kojima waited quietly for her reply.

Teacher Yu:

Hello, forgive me for not contacting you for so long, I am now in Chixi Island, a place where there is no mobile phone signal or telephone.I live in a house I designed. This house has been eroded by the sea wind and only four walls remain. It originally belonged to a couple, but the couple has disappeared.Later, I went to land and hired a construction team. They brought building materials to this small island by boat. I dictated my design plan to the construction team. After they set the construction plan, we started construction. The project was very good, and the small house was completed in less than five days, including simple decoration and furniture configuration.Let’s not talk about the house, let’s talk about this small island. I finally know why this small island is called Chixi Island. Chi is Chi @纯@独的红, Xi is the hope of hope, in this barren place that is almost worthless What I saw was full of hope like a 360-degree sunrise with no dead ends every day.There are only old people, children, and dogs on this island. The only young man is 50 to [-] years old. He is also the owner of the only grocery store on the island. He sells everything. All basic materials such as rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea are in his Almost everything can be found in the store, but he is leaving too.He said he was going to Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou, where there are a lot of gold.

However, I love this small island very much. There are no banks, no Internet cafes, no stadiums, no amusement parks, and even... no schools. The children here are illiterate, and the old people here only care about what to eat today and what the weather will be like tomorrow. , Will my arthritis develop the day after tomorrow, the day after tomorrow... Can I survive, what should I do if I can't survive my baby?Later, under the shade of the tree at the head of the village, I took a branch and became a teacher. From children in twos and threes to almost all the children on the island, they came to the shade of the tree on time every day with dogs and chickens in their arms. , The childish smiles in their yearning eyes made me cry almost every day.I think of the night before I came to this island, I am grateful that I spared my life that day, so that I can see those people who are actively living for the rising sun every day, their smiles, their hearts Pure, the sunshine they weave, they... are the hope of this island.

I finally understood why the gods tried their best to cast all the light on this island, and I also understood why my previous self would desperately want to break free from the darkness but still fell in the endless darkness, because I never let the sun shine Spilled on my island, I never said goodbye to the dark, to myself.

Teacher, if you want, you can come too, I will wait for you on the reef by the sea, or... I will wait for you under the shade of the tree with a group of lovely and innocent children.

To my beloved Shino.

Huihao

2016. 7, 26

Four days later, she came, and I stood on a big rock under the big tree to play games with a group of children. The sun still came as expected, and several puppies barked in one direction. I turned my head, and the children Turning my head, I saw the sunny island, the trail covered with sand and rock fragments, the sparkling sea in the distance, and her ponytail.

I smile and she smiles too.The children laughed and shouted in unison: "Hello, Teacher Yu!"

Then they ran down the slope to Xiao's side, raised their heads and showed simple and happy smiles, they chirped and shouted: "Teacher Yu, Teacher Yu..."

Teacher Yu's eyes were red. She touched the child's head and that child's cheek, smiling with tears in her eyes.

She took off her backpack, and distributed all the delicious and fun things she brought, as well as various picture books and books, to them.

I looked at her, smiling happily.

Some people say that you have to go to Lijiang in Dali, Wuzhen in Jiaxing, and Sanya in Hainan to heal your wounds, but I think what can really heal your wounds is not any picturesque place but the lovely sunshine in front of you. An unmistakable innocent smile.

In the evening, the setting sun dyed the vast ocean into quiet kumquats. I brought Xiao to my house. I didn’t have too many words, and neither did she. When I arrived at the house, I suddenly remembered something. I said: “Teacher , do you want to eat fish?"

I laughed, and she said in surprise, "Is there any fish?"

I grinned, with the corners of my mouth raised, and said, "Wait a minute."

I picked up the fishing net hanging on the wall and the fishing fork in the corner and walked out of the house, and she followed me out, following my footprints to the sea in front of me, I turned my head, and smiled innocently at her, Maybe the shadow of the setting sun will cover my smile, she can't see it, but I still have to laugh, because on this island there is no sorrow, no sigh.I turned around and walked towards the deep sea, I heard her shout, she shouted: "Hao, you have to be careful."

Hao, you finally erased the gray characters, and called out mottled colors and light when the night was about to spread darkness overwhelmingly.