gray love

"Do you believe in love?" The corners of her lips looked fragile, even bloodless.

"Ah?" I didn't expect that she would ask me this question, so I looked at her unexpectedly.

She didn't repeat the question again, she knew I meant it.

"You...do you have something on your mind...?" I explored her delicate feelings, trying to find clues that caused her to be upset.

"Oh, am I confused?" She stroked her thin hair with her slender fingers, her tired face forced a relaxed expression, "How can I ask you this question, you are still young..."

"I'm not young anymore, don't always treat me like a child."

I said, and then my left atrium suddenly felt sharp and sudden pain, I hesitated and said, "Have you had a fight with your boyfriend?"

She didn't speak, but the breath she exhaled seemed to be full of disasters. She tapped the piano with her fingers, and the messy notes wrapped her in a sense of loss.

Her appearance confirmed my suspicion.

She was knocking on the piano indiscriminately, tears flickering between her eyelashes.I looked at her distressedly, sitting next to her, she was still playing the piano, her chaotic voice seemed to echo her mood at the moment, my flustered eyes crossed her pale cheeks, and then I stretched out holding my breath. He squeezed her fingers.

She didn't escape, and her temperatureless fingers stopped going crazy.

I gently pressed her fingers, and the melody flowed between the nails.

"You don't have to believe in love, but you have to believe that sadness is only temporary." I said, playing with my fingers quickly, and she lowered her hand and looked at me seriously.

"You are so smart." She smiled, her eyes were like crescent moons.

"Really?" I looked at her and said, "But no matter how smart I am, I can't do anything to you."

There was a momentary dodge in her eyes, and then she looked at the sunset outside the window unharmed.

"I love sunrises, but sunsets are beautiful too," she said.

"The setting sun is infinitely good, but it's almost dusk." When I read this poem, my eyes were sore from tears.

"I like sunshine."

"I know. Because you told me more than once that you want me to be the unique sunny me."

She was silent for a moment, then raised her head suddenly, opened her amber eyes wide, and said, "Have you heard of Chixi Island? If you go there, you can see it from every angle every morning there Big swathes of red sunrise."

I did not speak.

"It's a pity I can't go," she said, looking down at black and white.

"Why can't you go?"

"Because I'm used to twilight."

...

I don't know how much she loves her boyfriend, but I know that she is always mature and rational, and she usually doesn't take the initiative to talk about love with me, but today she talked with me about love for a long time, the loss, melancholy, confusion, and melancholy in her eyes I can see it even with my eyes closed, no matter what happens, the one in front of me who I love deeply, who I love deeply, who I will never change until death, who I am devoted to, now and forever, the one I don’t want to be with her is always tears whirling.

Throughout the evening self-study, my heart was empty, and I couldn't read the book. I held my pen and peeked out the window secretly, hoping to see her tranced figure, but I didn't wait for her until the evening self-study was over.

I dragged my feet to her office, she should not have left at this time, I walked past the open office door as if passing by unintentionally, and took a sneak peek into the office, unexpectedly, her place was empty I stopped and stretched my head to search hard.

"Huihao, who are you looking for?" Teacher Duan, the Chinese teacher of class 24, suddenly appeared.

"Ah... ah, look for our class... head teacher..." I said in a panic.

"Mr. Yu, she has something to ask for leave tonight. What can you do with her?"

"It's okay, see you again, teacher." I hurriedly ended the conversation with Teacher Duan, and said goodbye hastily.

When I walked downstairs, I took out my mobile phone and called her, but she was on the phone, so I pressed the end button in disappointment.

On the phone, is she talking to her boyfriend?I looked up at the dark sky, and the familiar melancholy spread in my body again.

I didn't go to the martial arts gym, I asked the coach for leave, and went home.

When I got home, I looked at myself in the mirror strangely, is this still me?I asked myself, the Hui Hao in the past would do whatever he could to take what he liked and wanted as his own, but now, I want to do whatever he can to make the happiness of her whom I love...do not hesitate to take her Hand over to others.When I decided to do this, I thought that every cell in my body had used up all the courage it had in its life.

I called Uncle Wu and asked him to help me investigate Xiao's boyfriend's information. Uncle Wu didn't ask why, because he knew that I usually do things for no reason.

Soon I received a reply, the content was very detailed, including his student performance, but from these materials I got a terrible conclusion, her boyfriend is excellent in all aspects but loves money like his life, even slightly His violent tendencies, but maybe this is my subjective assumption, after all, I only see from the details in these materials, Xiao loves him so much, it is impossible for Xiao to find someone with a problematic character from Xiao's perspective.

After several days of inquiring, I finally understood the reason for their relationship problems. It turned out that it was mainly because of the different places. Her boyfriend hoped that Xiao could work hard with him in the same city, but Xiao refused. Her boyfriend got angry and even wanted to break up.After I heard the news, I laughed, hehe, it sounds nice to work hard in a city, but you can’t stand loneliness.

After thinking about it, I still haven't overturned my decision.

This Saturday and Sunday are off, I asked Xiao to go to Shanghai to play on the grounds of relaxation, and of course I also asked her out by stalking her.

When we arrived in Shanghai, we left our backpacks at home. My parents were also at the company in Shanghai, but we didn't contact them because they were too busy.After dinner, we went to the Bund. Although Xiao was smiling in front of me, I knew she must still be at a loss for another person. I checked my watch at 02:30 in the afternoon, and it was half an hour away from the appointed time. When I was young, I forgot to say that I brought Xiao here to meet her boyfriend. I have already contacted her boyfriend to meet her on the Bund at [-]:[-] p.m.I almost wasted all my forgiveness trying to make her smile.

There is a kid next to him who is playing and singing by himself. Although it is very fashionable to make money in this way, the singing voice and guitar level of this kid are really not flattering. Wouldn't it be a waste of all my previous work if I left? I smiled at her embarrassedly and said, "Wait a minute."

I walked up to the kid, stuffed him with some money and asked to borrow the guitar, and the kid saw that he was making money.I lent me Le He's fart, I put on the guitar strap, turned around and looked at Xiao, approached her, Xiao also looked at me, smiled and said, "What are you doing?"

The sun is rolling and playing on the Huangpu River, and the blue sky outlines the outline of the breeze, at my fingertips.

"Listen." I smiled mischievously at her and twitched my fingers lightly.

The music rushed out, gathering in her ears along the contours of the wind.

"As long as you love meyee~oh~"

I played and sang "as long as you love me", Xiao covered her mouth in surprise.

"I'm under pressure, seven billion people in the world trying to fit in Keep it together, smile on your face even though your heart is frowning Butheynow, don'tknowgirl, webothknowwhattodo slongasyoulove mei'llbeyourplatinum,i'llbeyoursilver,i'llbeyourgoldAslongasyoulo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lovemeAslongasyoulo-lo-lo-lo-lo -lo-lovemeI'llbeyoursoldier,fightingeverysecondofthedayforthechangegirlI'llbeyourHova,youcanbemyDestiny'sChildonastingerSodon'tstress,don'tcry,ohwedon'tneednowingstoflyJusttakemyhand

Aslongasyoulovemewecouldbestarving,Wecouldbehomeless,wecouldbebrokenAslongasyoulovemei'llbeyourplatinum,i'llbeyoursilver,i'llbeyourgoldAslongasyoulo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lovemeAslongasyoulo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lovemeIdon'tmakeifthism akesenseYou'remyhallelujah

Givemeatimeandplace,i'llrendez-vousI'llflyittoya,i'llmeetyouthereGirlyyouknowIgotyou

Us,trust,acouplethingsIcan'tspellwithoutyouNoweontopoftheworldCausethat'sjusthowwedoUsedtotellmesky'sthelimitNowtheskiesarepointofviewNowwesteppingoutlikewoahCameraspointatyou,askmewhat'sbestsideI'llstandbackandpointatyou,you,youTheonethatIarguewith, FeellikeIneedanewgirltobebotheredwithButthegrassain'talwaysgreenerontheothersideIt'sgreenerwhereyouwateritSoIknow,wegotissuesbaby,truetruetrueButIratherworkonthiswithyouThanthengoaheadandstartwithsomeonenewAsyoulovemewecouldbestarvingWecouldbehomeless,wecouldbebrok enAslongasyoulovemei'llbeyourplatinum,i'llbeyoursilver,i'llbeyourgoldAslongasyoulo-lo-lo-lo- lo-lo-lovemeAslongasyoulo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lovemeyouloveyoulovemeyoulovemeyee~

as long as you love me

as long as you love meyee~"

I finished singing the song with red eyes, Xiao looked at me approvingly, suddenly cheers and applause came to me from all directions, I turned my head and saw a group of girls taking pictures of me with their mobile phones, Fuck, this group of nympho, I cursed secretly, took off the guitar and returned it to that kid, the group of girls flocked to me, some asked my name, my WeChat, WeChat and mobile phone number, some even asked me Someone asked me to sign, I looked at Xiao awkwardly, Xiao was already laughing so hard, I sighed, misfortunes never come singly, at this time I saw Xiao's boyfriend coming from the opposite side, I quickly broke through the barriers of people Xiao shouted: "Wait for me here, I will hide."

I left and ran away. I really didn't expect the girls these days to be so crazy. When I dumped them a few blocks, I dared to stop and take a breath.

Fuck, isn't it a celebrity? Childish!I went around in a circle, and then sneaked back to the Bund, that place.

It was still the blue sky, the Huangpu River where the sun was shining, and the gentle wind, but the people standing there were replaced by lovers embracing each other.

The most quintessential and most beautiful sunshine in the world is shining on them.I pretended to be unscathed and safe in my impenetrable armor.

I should be happy, isn't this the result I want?I watched them step back, step back, with the same smile on their faces.

Before I knew it, I entered a library and sat in a daze on the seat by the window. I stretched my hands weakly, with the palms facing up, and the backs of my hands spread out on my legs. I looked at the sunshine on my palms. Sunshine, I really want to hold it, but when I hold it, my tiny palm prints tell me, it says: the sun is gone, what you hold is only the blackness like the abyss.

I confessed with tears in the singing just now, I don’t know how many times I confessed, maybe once, she could have a momentary love for me, but when the love she should have came, that insignificant love was gone Like a drop of tear falling into the sea, it is quickly overwhelmed and annihilated by the dark tide and the raging waves...

After an unknown amount of time, I was awakened by the sound of "dong dong" from the left. I turned my head, and someone was knocking on the glass. I took a closer look and saw that it was Chu Mo. She waved to me and motioned me to come out.

When I went out, she was already standing at the door, and I said pleasantly, "Why did you come to Shanghai?"

"Come out to play with friends." She said with a smile.

"Friend?" I muttered, and saw a familiar figure beside a cool motorcycle from a distance, "Which friend?"

"Uh, you know it too." Chu Mo said hesitantly.

"Fuck, it's him." I exclaimed, "How did you two get together?"

"What did you get together? Our revolutionary friendship is very pure." Chu Mo argued.

"Ling Chuan!" I ignored her and shouted a shy man standing beside the motorcycle.

Ling Chuan heard me calling him, and turned his head timidly. I walked in and he was shocked again. This kid not only dyed his hair black and cut it short, but also washed the tattoos on his hands, probably the tattoos on his body too. He also dressed a lot more properly, at least he looked like a sunny boy after sweeping away the original sloppy look.

"The power of love is great." My exclamation drew Chu Mo's scuffle.

Since Ling Chuan met Chu Mo last time, he has never forgotten her. He confessed his love to her that night, and then launched a passionate pursuit. Another infatuated person was born on earth.

We chatted for a while, and I consciously made excuses and walked away. Today, I have two big light bulbs written on my face. I asked for it first, and then I met them. They are all lovers, wanton. Abusing my single dog.

I went back to my home in Shanghai, because I really don't know which corner can accommodate me, no, I can be accommodated.

Xiao didn't contact me, never contacted me, maybe she already knew that I was the designer of their encounter, but, so what, I was just sweeping the street with a broom when they hugged each other It's normal for an aunt or a passer-by who just bought a bottle of soy sauce from a convenience store not to contact me.

I walked into my dad's study, took out the vodka he had collected for many years from the glass cabinet on the top floor, went to the kitchen to get a glass, opened the vodka and took it to my study.

In the bottom cabinet of the bookshelf, I found the CD player and piles of CDs I bought when I was in junior high school. At that time, when MP3 was popular all over the country, I was crazy about the CDs that would be eliminated.

I took out a CD, which contained the sound of piano and cello. This was an etude when I was studying music, a boring exercise that I hated so much, but now, covered with a layer of dust, it bears the brunt of it. It's in my CD player.

I put on my headset and press play.The melodious cello was hoarsely transmitted to my earphones, probably because I haven't listened to it for a long time, the sound quality is a bit distorted, just like my memories are distorted and messy.

The drunken cello made me pick up a glass filled with vodka and gulp down it. My squirming throat and the alcohol gushing out of my nasal cavity anesthetized me.

By the time I put down the glass, tears were streaming down my face.

"I love you, do you hear that?" I said, big big tears dripping on the CD player, and I cried like a wronged child.

It's good to be like a child, at least I can cry and laugh when I want in front of her.

My stomach full of sadness piled up in my tear glands, and at this moment the embankments finally burst.

I drank another glass of wine, it smelled salty, I wiped my mouth, the viscous liquid was stretched out, I smiled, it was my snot, it was mixed with my tears and couldn’t wait to flow out, maybe They wanted to comfort me, that's why they were so eager, that's why they dragged their families to my face and kissed me eagerly.

The cello was still hoarse and the piano was still delicate. I stood by the desk and cried with all my strength.

I drank wine, bottled wine, listened to CDs over and over again, and wiped away my nose and tears with my fingers over and over again.

A bottle of vodka made me dizzy, I fell on the floor, gasped and said: "I miss you, I wait for you, I love you, all the love words in the world can't express my hysterical love for you, but... but , Xiao, how much do you know, you think I play games like a child, you are wrong, I am not, now I am drunk but my heart is sober, I love you, I love you so much that I want to merge with you One body, even if I am homeless, even if I am at the end of the road, even if the land falls apart, even if the next second is the end of the world, I will still love you until death."

"But I gave you to someone else..." I sobbed, "I don't want to, but...but"

My stomach was churning, I turned around and vomited all over the floor, my headache was about to split, my heart was hurting like a knife, and my stomach convulsed so badly that I would rather die.

"But... I... I don't want to see you cry, you should smile... like... like an angel..."