small perfect

Yuan Qingyuan looked at the wall clock on the wall. It was already past eleven o'clock. Yuan Yi hadn't come home yet. When he called him, his phone was always turned off. If you are playing outside, you have to make a phone call or send a text message to report that you are safe.

Yuan Qingyuan was very anxious, his son was his life, and he couldn't tolerate Yuan Yi's mistakes.

After getting dressed, Yuan Qingyuan planned to go downstairs to watch for a while. Sitting at home and worrying was really uncomfortable.

At this moment, the cell phone in his pocket rang suddenly, he thought it was Yuan Yi calling, but when he took it out, he saw that it was an unfamiliar number.

"Hi, hello." He connected the phone, the other end was very quiet, he was wondering, a deep male voice reached his ears through the radio waves, "It's me."

The extremely magnetic voice, like an old record, draws out unforgettable past events between the flowing notes.

Yuan Qingyuan felt hot in his heart.

The last call was 21 years ago, the night before he left.

He couldn't bear to part with his lover, so he couldn't help calling him.It was late at night, and the bell rang for a long time before it was picked up. The person over there lazily called out his nickname, asked him why he was still up so late, then told him to go to bed early, and promised, Come see him tomorrow.He promised with his mouth, but his heart hurt like a knife. The moment he hung up the call, tears flowed down. He was afraid of being discovered by his roommate, so he covered his mouth desperately, not daring to make any sound, even choked up. He also forcibly swallowed it back into his stomach.

But no matter how reluctant he was, no matter how painful his heart was, he had to leave, because at that time his belly was already showing, and if he continued to drag on, his secret would be made public.

……

The person on the other side of the phone waited for about half a day without waiting for a response, and directly revealed his identity.

"I'm Lu Yueze, can't you hear my voice?"

Yuan Qingyuan came back to his senses suddenly, and found that the corners of his eyes were a little wet.

He settled down and said, "I heard it, what's the matter with calling so late?"

"Go downstairs, I'm downstairs at your house."

"Huh?" My heart was beating wildly.

Yuan Qingyuan held up his mobile phone, his eyes widened in disbelief.

A thought quickly flashed through his mind, a thought full of anxiety and expectation.

And the next moment, the other party's words were like a basin of cold water being poured over his head, extinguishing all his secret desires for this man.

"What? Yuan Yi asked me to bring you something, come down and get it."

"Okay, I'll come down right now."

In any case, hearing Yuan Yi's news was also a kind of comfort to him.

In the middle of the night, the road was icy. Yuan Qingyuan walked out of the building, and the cold wind suddenly hit him. He subconsciously wrapped his coat tightly, only to hear the sound of a car horn coming from ahead.

Looking at the reputation, he saw Lu Yueze's car parked not far away.

Walking over with his head buried, he knocked on the car window, ready to ask about Yuan Yi's situation.

As the car window fell, the person inside spat out two words, "Get in the car."

The voice without the slightest emotion seemed to be colder than this winter.

Yuan Qingyuan was slightly taken aback, but there was an unspeakable sadness in his heart.

It was indeed he who pulled away from each other in the best time back then. He knew what he did was wrong, and he didn't expect Lu Yueze to understand him.It was a gift from heaven to him to be able to meet each other again, but he never expected that they who were once close have become as indifferent as strangers.He would rather Lu Yueze hate him, scold him, and accuse him severely, than to be lukewarm.

Sitting in the car, Yuan Qingyuan suppressed his confused thoughts, looked at the man beside him, and asked, "Did you meet Yuan Yi?"

"Well, he asked me to bring you the New Year's goods from their restaurant."

"What about others?"

"I'm going to his boss's house." Lu Yueze lit a cigarette and lowered the window slightly, "He probably won't be back until late, he told you to go to bed early and don't wait for him."

"It's past eleven o'clock now, and he still goes to someone else's house to play?"

"Ah."

Yuan Qingyuan frowned, and an inexplicable anger suddenly rose in his heart.When he saw Lu Yueze smoking a cigarette leisurely, obviously looking like he was staying out of it, the fire burned even more intensely, "As an elder, you didn't stop your child from coming home so late?! Why? Can let his temper come!"

Lu Yueze turned around with a cigarette in his mouth, a puzzled look flashed across his eyes.

Compared to Yuan Qingyuan's excitement, he seemed a little too calm, took a puff of cigarette and said: "Yuan Yi is already an adult, he has the ability to be responsible for his actions, you are so nervous about him, it is not good for him. "

"What do you know!" An annoyed sentence blurted out, Yuan Qingyuan realized his gaffe after speaking, but he was irritable and didn't bother to explain too much.After calming down, he asked, "Where is the thing Yuan Yi told you to bring me?"

"Trunk."

"Open the trunk, I'm leaving."

As Yuan Qingyuan said, he opened the car door, and the cold wind rushed in. At the same time, his arm was forcibly grabbed by a force, and he turned his head to meet a pair of slightly worried eyes.

"You're angry?"

Yuan Qingyuan didn't reply, and the reason for his anger couldn't be explained for a while. Even if he said it, Lu Yueze might not understand it unless he told the whole truth.But he wasn't ready yet, and Lu Yueze's indifferent attitude made him flinch.

He didn't understand why the man in front of him was not salty before, but now he was showing concern.But the boredom in my heart dissipated a lot.

He breathed a sigh of relief, intending to say something to bypass this topic.

But Lu Yueze said again: "Let me help you lift the things up." There seemed to be some imperceptible flattery in his tone.

"..." The inconsistent attitude made Yuan Qingyuan even more confused.

He looked at this man, there was still no expression on that resolute and handsome face, his eyes were as deep as a pool of water, immeasurable, and it was impossible for people to see his emotions.

Yuan Qingyuan couldn't figure out his thoughts, nor did he want to.

Thinking on the bright side, wouldn't it be even more disappointing if the idea is very different from the actual situation?

If you think about it in a bad way, it is purely making yourself guilty.

"Don't bother, I will mention it myself."

After Yuan Qingyuan finished speaking, he got out of the car, went around to the rear of the car and opened the trunk, just about to take out his things.Suddenly, a pair of hands took the lead to lift the boxes of New Year's goods, and the words "I'll send you" blew into my ears with the sound of the wind.His tone was tough, revealing an indisputable stubbornness.

Yuan Qingyuan glanced at him, sighed, "Okay."

Lu Yueze: "You carry your things first, and I'll move the car so as not to block the way of others."

Lu Yueze handed over the large and small boxes in his hand to Yuan Qingyuan and went to move the car.

Looking at his back, Yuan Qingyuan froze in place in bewilderment.

Move the car?Don't you just send it upstairs and leave right away?

In this way, 5 minutes later, Lu Yueze stepped into the door of Yuan Qingyuan's house as a matter of course.

He was always a guest when he came to the door, and Yuan Qingyuan specially took out the good tea from his collection to entertain him.

Lu Yueze drank tea silently, but felt extremely speechless about his behavior.

He obviously just came to deliver something, originally he didn't even plan to get out of the car, and left after delivery, why is he sitting at his house drinking tea now?

Yuan Qingyuan was a bit obsessed with cleanliness, and only wore home clothes at home. He changed into a set of pajamas and came out, and found that the man sitting on the sofa looked at him a little strangely.Then he lowered his head to look at the cartoon pajamas on his body, and smiled helplessly, "Yuan Yi bought this for me."

Lu Yueze nodded slightly, "You love your son very much."

"Yes." Facing Lu Yueze's deep and clear eyes, Yuan Qingyuan's eyes dimmed.

Who do I have but my son?

"Sit down for a while, I'll go get you some snacks, all made by Yuan Yi himself, the taste is very good."

As Yuan Qingyuan said, he walked into the kitchen.

Probably the reason why he hasn't seen each other for a long time. When facing Lu Yueze, he felt very at a loss. He didn't know what to do or say. As long as he stayed in the same space with the other party, he felt uncomfortable.

He admitted that he missed this man.

He longed for the other party's generous embrace, lingering kisses, and the feeling of wanting to be immortal and dying.

At the age of 40, although the desire is not as strong as when he was young, but occasionally at midnight, the loneliness in his heart surges like a cold wave, and at that time he desperately needs someone to kiss him, hold him, touch him Him, become one with him.

Occupy his heart with love, wrap his body with warmth, and give him a place to indulge.

And this person can only be Lu Yueze, he can't accept others, he can't do it even if it's a joke.

When I can't see it, I think about it day and night.After seeing it, I dare not approach it.

Maybe he always owed Lu Yueze a little bit, Yuan Qingyuan felt that he was no longer equal to him emotionally, and always lacked some confidence, the confidence to be able to stand shoulder to shoulder with him.

……

When Yuan Qingyuan came out with the snacks, Lu Yueze was standing motionless in front of the TV cabinet with his back to him. He seemed to be holding something in his hand. He didn't pay much attention to it, and greeted, "Here's the snacks, hurry up." Try it, Yuan Yi made this custard cake this morning, it tastes quite crispy. You..."

The voice stopped abruptly, and Yuan Qingyuan saw Lu Yueze turn around, holding the torn and glued group photo in his hand.

Suddenly startled, Yuan Qingyuan remembered that he had looked at the photo of the two of them for a while when he had nothing to do, but he forgot to put it away after reading it, and put it on the TV cabinet.

He glanced at Lu Yueze, and happened to meet the other party's searching gaze, feeling annoyed for a moment.

When will I get rid of my bad habit of losing things and forgetting things!

He was thinking about how to play Tai Chi to confuse the situation in front of him, but Lu Yueze didn't seem to intend to let him go, and asked straight to the point: "Did you go to me later?"

The words have been put on the bright side, and avoiding them will not solve the problem.

Yuan Qingyuan took a deep breath and said frankly, "Yes."

"Since you came back to find me, why did you leave?" Lu Yueze raised his voice, with a rare excited look on his face.

Thousands of words were stuck in his throat, Yuan Qingyuan clenched his fists unconsciously, gritted his teeth and said: "I, I have difficulties..."

"Then tell me what's wrong with you now!"

"..."

speak out?

How to say?

Yuan Qingyuan smiled wryly in his heart.

Say I'm a monster?Heterogeneous?A man who can bear children?

Will anyone believe it?

Wouldn't it be scary even if you believed it?

Who can accept such a body? !

There was silence in the room, a suffocating silence.

Seeing the aggressive posture of the person in front of him, Yuan Qingyuan felt heavy and painful as if there was an iron weight in his heart.

He bit his lips repeatedly, wanting to yell out the truth in a heart-piercing way several times, and vent the pain accumulated in his heart for these years.

But before he could say anything, there was an abrupt cold snort in the air.

Immediately afterwards, a voice as cold as a sharp blade pierced his eardrums and pierced his heart.

"You can't tell? Let me tell you. Yuan Yi is in his early 20s this year. The year he was born was the year after you disappeared. You left me because a woman was pregnant with your child. You You have to be responsible for her, so you have to sacrifice me? But you didn't expect that woman to abandon you after giving birth, so you came back to me, right?"

……

"Yuan Qingyuan, in your heart, am I so unbearable? While you are with me, you also have children with other women. What position do you put me in?!"