My bamboo horse is scumbag

With his eyes sparkling, Ye Kai immediately became more than half awake, and stood up abruptly.Because of the alcohol, he swayed as if he couldn't stand still, and felt a surge of blood pressure rushing straight to the sky.

"What did you say? Grandpa—"

"He knows." Chen Youhan also stood up and looked at him with deep eyes, the eyes were endlessly gentle, as light as water...Ye Kai felt that he was deeply drunk, and he never Chen Youhan saw sadness in his eyes.

"He's fine." Chen Youhan paused, and there was hardly any trace of emotion in his tone, "If Lucas really treats you well enough, grandpa will agree.... You don't have to worry about it in the future."

His vision was quickly blurred, Ye Kai clenched his back teeth, and pushed Chen Youhan hard: "Why are you meddling in your own business? If something happens to Grandpa, can you afford it?!"

He drank too much, spoke fiercely, but had no strength in his body.Chen Youhan was not pushed by him, but grabbed his wrist and said in a low voice, "I'm sorry, you are right, I crossed the line. There will be no next time."

Ye Kai's palm was held by him, and the trembling palm was right on his heart.Through the thick jacket, he could hardly feel Chen Youhan's slow and heavy heartbeat.

"Xiao Kai, I apologize to you for everything in the past. I know sorry is too light a word, but until now, apart from these three words, I have nothing else to give." Chen Youhan ignored his struggle, He pulled his wrist very hard, under the night sky, his face fell into the shadow of the moonlight, leaving only Ye Kai with a vague silence that could not be seen clearly no matter how wide his eyes were, "Two years ago to you It’s hard to take back what I said, because I couldn’t see my heart clearly, and I couldn’t see how important you are to me. I’ve brought you so much pain, and today you don’t want to forgive me and give me a chance, I deserve it.”

Chen Youhan lowered his head, the light in his eyes completely plunged into darkness.

"Although I still want to look at you very much, but the only meaning I have for you is pain, I understand."

Moving his palm up, he finally caressed Ye Kai's hand that was as cold as ice, and that grip was precious and solemn.He looked at Ye Kai, and said slowly: "I loved you, you loved me, I am satisfied."

Ye Kai opened his eyes wide.

He saw Chen Youhan let go of his hand, and took a step back: "Brother Youhan will never make you suffer anymore. You are fine."

Hands hang down empty.The wind from somewhere in the field passed between the two of them, rolling the petals and grass foam wet by dew, and finally disappeared among the mountains.

Chen Youhan lit a cigarette, leaned over to pick up the empty wine bottle: "Go back, it's getting late."

He was the one who looked at Ye Kai's back when he came, and when he went back, it was Ye Kai who looked at him.

A few steps behind, under the dim moon and stars, Ye Kai belatedly thought, why did Chen Youhan lose so much weight.

The body of the glass bottle bumped occasionally with the pace, ding, and ding again.Ye Kai didn't know the weight of his footsteps, and his gaze was fixed on Chen Youhan's Qinghuang's back.Suddenly tripped over a knotted grass root, he staggered a step, and was held firmly by Chen Youhan.

"Watch the road carefully while walking, don't fall again." Chen Youhan helped him stand still, and then withdrew his strong arms.

"You are 20 years old in a blink of an eye. I don't know why, but when I think of you, I still look like 1.8 or [-]. Is it [-] meters?"

Ye Kai said "hmm", "1.8 meters a piece."

Chen Youhan smiled: "I'm getting old."

Ye Kai moved his lips.If he retorts at this time, Brother Youhan will definitely feel better.But he didn't speak.

"When I put it down too, can you add my WeChat back?" Chen Youhan's voice panted as he walked.He must not be used to such a high altitude.

Ye Kai nodded, "It can be done now."

"Not now."

When Chen Youhan said this, he stopped suddenly.For some reason, he raised his head and looked at the moon that was about to rise into the hollow.The cigarette in the corner of his mouth was almost burning to the end, and he barely took a puff.Ye Kai also stopped, and only a second or two later, Chen Youhan looked away from the night sky, looked forward again, and said lightly: "You have grown so big, there is not a year that I have never been with you at all. Suddenly, you have not been with me for two years. For the news, I will make up for it later from your circle of friends."

Ye Kai thought, he really rarely posted on Moments in the past two years.

"Lucas isn't young, is he?" Chen Youhan asked lightly.

Ye Kai couldn't remember how old he was, maybe he said it, but he didn't take it to heart, he responded vaguely, "In his early thirties."

Chen Youhan smiled: "I can fully understand the feelings of Ye Jin and Qu Jia now. You have to be careful when you associate with men of this age. Leave a little room for everything, don't be so serious..." I don't know what I thought of, and I paused , smiled, and apologized in a hoarse voice: "I'm sorry, I took too much control before I knew it. You are very smart, so I don't need to worry about it."

A heart becomes sour and swollen.Ye Kai stared blankly at Chen Youhan's back, gradually having difficulty breathing.

Tashi's small courtyard and stone house are just ahead, and under the moonlight, they look like silver.

Ye Kai stumbled again.Kneeling into the mud, the still-healed palms were scratched again.

Chen Youhan looked back at him helplessly, pulled him up, and leaned over to help him wipe off the dirty mud and grass foam on his trouser legs.

Ye Kai clapped his hands clean.The inside of the palm is burning and painful, I don't know if there is any bleeding.He looked at the lines on his palm and thought of Lucas' old-fashioned trick.He grabbed Chen Youhan's sleeve, "I can read palmistry now."

Chen Youhan was silent for a while, then bent his lips, "Another day."

Drunk people tend to be stubborn.Ye Kai didn't let go, and said: "Let me help you take a look, I really know how to look."

Chen Youhan stretched out his right hand.

Ye Kai shook his head: "Men left and women right, you have to look at your left hand."

Chen Youhan raised the wine bottle: "It's not convenient, I'll show you tomorrow."

My mind was dizzy, as if there was really nothing I could do.He carefully grabbed Chen Youhan's clothes corner: "I don't want to fall again."

If Chen Youhan came to hold his hand, he would not push it away if he was so drunk.But Chen Youhan didn't.The only good thing is that he didn't reject Ye Kai either.Ye Kai just grabbed the hem of his gray jacket and walked the last few meters with a deep foot and a shallow foot.

Sure enough, Tashi left the door open for them.The animal fell into a deep sleep, and a small night-lamp hung in the cleft of the staircase's masonry.Chen Youhan turned on the flashlight of his mobile phone, and the yak mooed.There was a strong smell of livestock body and excrement in the air. He thought of Ye Kai's purpose of coming here at this inopportune occasion, and said softly, "I'll ask someone to send the public welfare fund information to your mailbox later."

Then he didn't speak.The stove on the second floor went out, turning into a pitch-black mass of cold stove.Going up to the third floor, he heard Lahm's sleepy voice, the adult turned over, and the bed made a movement.Go to the fourth floor and part in front of the small living room.Chen Youhan turned off the flashlight.A faint light diffuses in from the glass window, like a field of silver frost.In this silver frost, Chen Youhan said goodbye to Ye Kai: "Good night."

Ye Kai stumbled and said, "The bathroom..."

"You go first."

Chen Youhan turned around and entered the room.The door was closed, and the dim light inside was blocked from Ye Kai's sight.

He washed his face and brushed his teeth very slowly.It took a long time for the solar water heater to heat up the water. He rinsed it quickly and shivered uncontrollably when he came out.Chen Youhan was right, he didn't drink that well, two catties of highland barley wine was enough to destroy all his sanity.He seemed to have lost something very important tonight.However, he was too drunk, too late, and too sleepy, and he really couldn't remember, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't remember what he had lost.

After falling asleep for an unknown number of hours, he was awakened by a series of tiny movements.Ye Kai had a splitting headache and found that it was still dark.He closed his eyes and listened for a while in a half-dream and half-awake state, it seemed to be the movement in Chen Youhan's room.After a few minutes, the movement moved to the bathroom again.Ye Kai was fully awake, put on his down jacket, and walked over lightly on a cotton mop.Leaning against the door frame with sleepy eyes, he saw Chen Youhan lying on the washbasin and rinsing his mouth with cold water.

"Brother Youhan?"

The sound of water stopped.Chen Youhan turned off the faucet, half raised his face and glanced at him.

"I woke you up."

His voice was completely muted.

Ye Kai noticed that his face was very wet. He didn't know if it was water or... no, of course it was water. How could he sweat in such a cold day?What's more, he was still wearing close-fitting short sleeves, Ye Kai shook his head sleepily: "What's wrong with you?"

Chen Youhan straightened up: "It's okay, I drank too much and threw up." After wiping his hands, he passed by him and walked out the door: "Go to sleep."

It was only after passing by that he realized that his lips were bloodless, and blue stubble appeared on his chin.

Ye Kai stood up straight, clenched his hands in his pockets, and said clearly, "I'll go and see if there is any hot water."

Before Chen Youhan could refuse, he turned around and went downstairs.

He didn't want to wake up Tashi's family, so he deliberately slowed down his steps, and then remembered that there was still half a pot of hot water in his room, and it was still hot when he poured it out before going to bed, and it should be fine now.He leaned on the handrail again and ran upstairs on tiptoe.

Chen Youhan sat in the corner with his knees bent, covering his stomach with his hands, and bowed his head deeply.

Ye Kai stopped in his tracks, a little scared: "Brother Youhan?"

Chen Youhan raised his head and smiled lightly: "Don't look for hot water, go to my bedroom and check if there is any painkiller."

Ye Kai ran in like a gust of wind, and first dumped the contents of the backpack on the table.

"I looked for it just now, maybe—" Chen Youhan frowned unexpectedly, took a breath before continuing: "Maybe it fell in some corner."

Ye Kai flipped through the pages randomly, not knowing why a panic surged from the bottom of his heart: "I'm sorry I shouldn't have dragged you to drink..."

"Don't worry, it doesn't hurt that much, just look for it slowly."

Ye Kai blinked vigorously, and said "um", he rummaged through the desk, and ran to the closet.It was stuffed with Dorje's folded quilts and long Tibetan robes with complicated and messy structures.Chen Youhan's clothes were hanging in the corner, and there was no light in the closet, so he could only search in the dark.Sweat broke out on his forehead in the cold night.Looking back at Chen Youhan again, he found that he kept his head buried and his arms seemed to be exerting great force.Ye Kai felt as if he had stepped on the ground—what happened to Brother Youhan?He is not afraid of pain... Finally, he found a small round bottle with his hands——

His eyes lit up—"I found it! Is it this?"

Chen Youhan raised his head, leaned his head against the wall slightly, "Well, you are still the best."

Ye Kai found his thermos, it was empty, and immediately ran into his room to pour hot water, unscrewed the medicine bottle and stuffed it into Chen Youhan's hand.Chen Youhan poured a few slices, he didn't see clearly, he just raised his neck and stuffed them into his mouth, swallowing with difficulty with the slightly scalding water.

Ye Kai squatted in front of him, annoyed: "So stupid, I would have poured water for you earlier if I knew it."

Chen Youhan smiled: "Don't talk like I'm going to die."

Take two deep breaths, stand up against the wall while biting your back teeth, and tease calmly: "Thank you for saving my life, it's too late in this life, let's do it in the next life."

Ye Kai watched him move towards the bed, moved his footsteps, and his body stepped forward to support him before he realized it.Only then did he realize that Chen Youhan's whole body was icy cold, and his muscles tensed up and down with the pain.

Chen Youhan's bed was completely cold.Because it was summer, Duoji didn't prepare an electric blanket.He lifted the quilt and helped Chen Youhan lie down, pulled his hands away from his cold arms, and hugged him gently——

Chen Youhan opened his eyes wide, and his whole body froze completely.

"There's no need for this, Xiao Kai." He gently but firmly pushed Ye Kai away: "It won't be cold after a while."

Ye Kai sat on the edge of the bed blankly, watching Chen Youhan laying down slowly, and helped him cover the quilt and tuck the corners of the quilt as if waking up from a dream: "You sleep, I will wait until you fall asleep before leaving."

"It's just stomach cramps, why are you panicking?" Chen Youhan raised the corners of his lips reassuringly, "I won't die."

"What nonsense!" Ye Kai was finally angry—really angry, he couldn't drink when he first entered the plateau, is he an idiot, dragging Chen Youhan to death in the middle of the night?

Chen Youhan surrendered weakly: "Okay, okay, I won't talk."

Ye Kai ordered: "Close your eyes."

Chen Youhan closed her eyes obediently.

Lights went out.Ye turned on the light and sat back on the bed.

Looking at the moonlight and the deep blue sky outside the window, his eyes lingered from his thin and pale eyelids. 3 minutes, 5 minutes, maybe 10 minutes, under Ye Kai's gaze, Chen Youhan's breathing finally calmed down, long and steady, and he really fell asleep.Ye Kai pressed the back of his hand to his forehead, it was warm and cool.He poked his hand in from the edge of the quilt and touched Chen Youhan's left hand.After shaking the palm, the body temperature is still very cold.It's just why... the palm has uneven ups and downs?He took out Chen Youhan's left hand, and spread out his slightly curled fingers lightly.With the dim light of the night light, I saw an irregular circular scar lying in his pale and broad palm.

Chen Youhan has a scar on the palm of his left hand, which he never knew before.

Ye Kai racked his brains and couldn't think of any scars with this shape, and how could they stay in his palm?

Chen Youhan was still shaking intermittently.Shaking uncontrollably in sleep.The tall body curled up on the bed with its knees bent.Ye Kai closed his eyes in pain, raised his neck and took a deep breath, the tears that he had held back all night slid down from the corners of his eyes and quickly sank into his temples.He took off his coat and his close-fitting clothes, and got into Chen Youhan's arms.There was a smell of ghee in the room, but Chen Youhan's breath was still so bright and pleasant. The moment he approached, he was overwhelmingly reminded of his absurd and warm breath.

At that time, Chen Youhan was the same as now, hugging him, tightening his arms, and trying his best.

Waking up the next day with empty arms.It was very warm under the quilt, and the sun was shining brightly outside the window, which made people feel that the coldness of last night was so unimaginable.Bare arms stick out, and the small piece of air is warmed by the sun.He sat up slowly, a throbbing pain in his temples—the aftereffects of a hangover.The room was very tidy, unexpectedly tidy, so tidy that it was almost out of place——his misty eyes instantly woke up, and Chen Youhan's luggage was gone.

He lifted the quilt and put on his coat, and at a glance, the backpack, ipad, hanging clothes, document bag containing engineering drawings, wallet, outdoor boots—painkillers, everything disappeared and was clean.

It turned out that what he said last night, "Leave tomorrow", was not drunk.

There was a piece of paper on the clean desk, folded in half, with a cup of tea pressed on it, it was freezing cold.

Ye Kai's hands trembled a little when he picked it up.

Small opening:

Spread the letter good.

I wanted to find a better-looking and more formal letter paper to write to you, but Duoji searched for more than ten minutes, and there was really nothing decent.

What else have I left unsaid?Sitting at the desk and writing, I feel that I can write [-] words, but it seems that I am not qualified to write a single word.

When I woke up in the morning and found you lying in my arms, I thought it was some mountain god who heard my prayer and brought me back to two years ago.If you keep looking forward, miracles will always appear.Just like the first night when I trekked across mountains and rivers to come here, I prayed, but I never dared to expect that we could meet here.So, when can we go back in time?Say something to Xiaokai for me, I love you.Don't listen to or believe a word of every word that man has ever hurt you.Always be happy, always believe in love, and he can solve everything in the future.

Or, if you go back to an earlier time and meet a 16-year-old Xiao Kai, then tell him that Chen Youhan is not worth it at all, let go of those secret loves, you love him, those are just the illusion of puberty.

Writing here, I finally discovered my greed.If possible, go back to an earlier time, I will still take you to Disneyland, hold your hand when you lose the colored rope on the Dragon Boat Festival, and search for it all over the mountain on Siyuan Road, but that afternoon, I will definitely not I'll take you to eat ice cream again.You won't see so many strange breakups, see so many indecent and unseemly scenes, you will grow up straight and be as good as you are now, the important thing is, you can find someone you like very much, and she is also very good. The girl who likes you, stay together innocently.You will not suffer any harm.Who would be willing to hurt you?You are the proudest, most beautiful, and the little prince with the most love. You have grown up with a lot of love all your life.Of course, I would be one of those loves.Really like a brother.

Xiao Kai, for 36 years, my life has been smooth and smooth. Although there are occasional twists and turns, it is still under my control.

So far in life, there are only a few things that I can't do anything about.

One, my mother passed away when I was eight years old,

One thing is to let me fall hopelessly in love with you at the age of 32.

Another thing is to lose you completely at the age of 34.

We have been together for more than a year, and many memories are still vivid.I lingered for two years before I finally realized the fact of losing you.You are right, I am no longer eligible.In the past two years, I have tried a lot, trying to forget you and bless you.I think that rear-end collision was my punishment and your catastrophe.I can see the unrest when I meet you again.At first I thought it was your remaining love for me, and I thought I still had a chance.Later I knew that it was your hatred for me.

Xiao Kai, don't hate me, just let it go like you said.Hate gets in the way of love.After you have passed this calamity, you will be full of flowers from now on.

Seeing you so firm and sober, I finally feel at ease.

Life is very long, you are only 20 years old, there are still many possibilities, many scenery.Remember what I said, don't stop for anyone, just keep going.

Don't know if Lucas can heal you with enough love, but there must be someone else without him.There will be someone who loves you like I did back then, but he must be firmer than me, more capable of protecting you than me, and will never let go of your hand.

Dorje told me to go down for breakfast, so I will stop writing here.

You were in a deep sleep and wanted to kiss you, but you already have a boyfriend and I shouldn't take advantage of it.Every morning from now on, someone else will accompany you instead of me.You have to be in love with him for 16 years before you reach my age.Come to think of it, I'm really old.

Don't be brave, and drink less alcohol in the future.

Seeing you sleeping peacefully with your eyes closed, I don't know why, and the overwhelming jealousy also calmed down.

As long as you are happy.

another:

Thank you for still being willing to give me warmth yesterday, just take it as a reward that my morals are not so corrupt.

Chen Youhanliu