I was a stand-in for those years

Guo Zichen was sitting in the spacious ward, and after taking a puff of the cigarette in his mouth, the orange-red fire was exposed, his eyes were black and blue, and he didn't know he hadn't slept for a few days.

Holding Ke Ke's photo in his hand, that regretful and sinister expression frightened Song Sizhe who had just entered the door.Putting down the fruit box in his hand, he looked Guo Zichen up and down, and couldn't help but ask, "You... don't you want to..."

"What do you want?" Guo Zichen turned his head to look at Song Sizhe: "Want to take revenge on Ke Ke?"

The word revenge made Song Sizhe feel strange, but after thinking about it, Ke Chen had hurt him too much, and it was not incomprehensible that he felt resentment, so he didn't think about it any more.Then I heard Guo Zichen say: "I won't, I'm not as cruel as him."

The relationship between Song Sizhe and Guo Zichen is not very good, and he is also directly involved in some things, so he doesn't know how to answer the conversation.After thinking about it, he changed the subject and said, "Lin Xingmu is here, when will you see him?"

Guo Zichen asked back, "When will Ke Chen come back?"

"Tomorrow." Song Sizhe accidentally caught a glimpse of the calendar in the ward, looked at the big circle circled with a red marker on it, and continued: "You have surgery the day after tomorrow, and he said you must be back before the surgery."

Guo Zichen nodded, "Then bring my brother over after lunch."

"Okay, I'll make arrangements."

In the afternoon, Guo Zichen was dozing off on the table, when a furry head poked out from the door.Lin Xingmu looked in through the crack of the door, and pouted when he saw Guo Zichen, as if he didn't want to come in.

Guo Zichen pulled the door all the way, and pulled the man outside in.Lin Xingmu was sitting on the hospital bed, staring at Guo Zichen, his cheeks puffed up, as if he was very angry: "Why did you ask me to come here?"

"It's nothing, it's just," Guo Zichen wanted to touch his head, paused, then withdrew his hand: "I just want to see you."

Lin Xingmu turned his head: "Hmph, but I don't want to see you."

Guo Zichen sat down on the side where he turned his head, watched him turn his head to the other side, and said with a smile, "Don't worry, you may never see me again."

After hearing this, Lin Xingmu's expression was unnatural, and he hesitated for a long time before asking: "I heard that you are sick and need an operation."

Guo Zichen was stunned, and then said helplessly, "That's right. So are you very happy?"

Lin Xingmu didn't reply to his words, but lowered his head and asked in a low voice, "They say you are my brother, is it true?"

"It's true." Guo Zichen looked at him and said seriously, "Can you call me brother?"

"Don't bark," Lin Xingmu squeezed his right hand with his left hand, his eyes fluttered unnaturally.Guo Zichen looked at his little movements, smiled, and didn't make things difficult for him anymore.In the silent atmosphere, Lin Xingmu began to pinch his sleeves. Guo Zichen thought that he really hated his brother, sighed, and said pleasantly, "How have you been recently?"

Lin Xingmu didn't care too much, and said honestly: "I go out with my big brother to set up a fruit stand every day, and I can earn a pocket of money in a day."

"Then Ke Chen is not here, are you still used to it?" Guo Zichen asked cautiously.

When Lin Xingmu heard Ke Chen's name, he crossed his waist angrily: "Hmph, elder brother Chen has long stopped looking for me, but my elder brother has always been nice to me. I don't like him anymore. I like elder brother."

Guo Zichen breathed a sigh of relief, moved towards him, patted his head, and said, "Dad left you a lot of money, if you feel tired, you don't have to go to the fruit stand. And... whoever treats you well in the future, you It's also good for anyone, don't force people who don't like you to like you, understand?"

Lin Xingmu pouted: "I know. I like to set up fruit stalls, and don't treat me like a child."

Guo Zichen pinched his face that was exactly the same as his own, and said seriously: "You are."

Lin Xingmu chatted with him in the hospital all afternoon. This person had a childish temper and a bad mind. Through this afternoon's contact, he found that his legendary brother was not a bad person, and he gradually accepted him in his heart. .Before leaving, Guo Zichen sent him to the entrance of the inpatient department, where the car arranged by Song Sizhe was already waiting there, Guo Zichen waved to him, Lin Xingmu put his hands on his hips, cleared his throat, raised his head and whispered to the person standing on the steps :"elder brother."

After speaking, his cheeks turned red quickly, and he hid in the car like a cat in an instant.

That voice was heard clearly by Guo Zichen, and a strange feeling surged up, making Guo Zichen's heart feel empty.

People are really insatiable. I used to see that I was not satisfied with what I had, and when those things that were once worthless were slowly lost, I began to regret how I didn't treat them well.

After sending Lin Xingmu away, Guo Zichen came out of the inpatient department and went back to the house where he and Zhang Chengwen lived.Ke Chen didn't stop him on the other end of the phone, he just told the doctor not to disturb him after he went home to prepare him for the operation, and sent him back to the hospital after he came back.

It gets dark early in winter, and it's a cloudy day with snow, so in the evening, the outside has become a piece of opaque cloth.Guo Zichen was sitting in the dark in a daze, when there was a sound of turning the lock at the door, and then the unlocked door was pushed open by someone outside.

Ke Chen's shoulders and hair were covered with undissolved snowflakes, and a gust of cold air drifted over him, making Guo Zichen subconsciously turn his head to look at him.

"Why don't you turn on the light?" As he said, he found the switch at the entrance and pressed it, looked at the person on the sofa, took off his coat, walked in, and sat down beside Guo Zichen.He looked tired, but his expression was very happy, as if he wanted to share some great joy with him, he grabbed Guo Zichen's hand, smiled and said to him: "Chenchen, listen to me—"

"Ke Chen." Guo Zichen shook his hand away, not giving him a chance to speak: "I have something to ask you."

Seeing Guo Zichen's indifferent and distant expression, Ke Chen realized that this person hated him so much, subconsciously moved his body away from him, nodded to him, and said softly: "Okay, you ask."

Guo Zichen's indifferent gaze made Ke Chen's heart tighten, and a sense of panic surged up, and his heart was in a mess. As expected, Guo Zichen asked in the next second:

"I worked in New York before, did you ask Ryan to fire me?"

Ke Chen didn't expect Guo Zichen to ask this suddenly. He thought Guo Zichen had long forgotten, so he paused and said in a hoarse voice, "It's me."

"Brother Chengwen and Zhao Jing got engaged because you kidnapped Xianyin and threatened Zhang Chengen?"

Ke Chen didn't deny it: "It's me."

Guo Zichen was angry and furious, raised his trembling palm and slapped him: "How can you deal with such a small child!"

Ke Chen's dry lips were torn apart by the huge force, he gently wiped the blood beads on it with his fingertips, and smiled helplessly: "Then what should I do? Do I want to just watch you and Zhang Chengwen being together?" Together? Sorry, I can't."

Guo Zichen sneered, and then asked him: "Brother Chengwen and I went skiing, is that driver the one you were looking for?"

It was only now that Ke Chen realized that Guo Zichen planned to settle the old and new debts with him, so he closed his eyes and nodded, "It's me."

Thinking of the tragic death of Zhang Chengwen, Guo Zichen was wrapped in the venom permeated with mercury, the pain was heart-piercing, but he could only hold his chest and say nothing.

Remembering what Zhang Chengyu said before, the person who killed Zhang Chengwen was also the person who killed his father, Guo Zichen shook his shoulders, and asked Ke Chen the last question: "When my father was hospitalized with cerebral hemorrhage, did you find someone to change his medicine?" , causing him to fall ill and die at night."

Ke Chen hadn't thought about how to tell him about Guo Zhanxiong so that he would be less disturbed. He never thought that he would suspect him.This feeling of being hated and doubted by the one you love is heartbreaking and uncomfortable, as if a hole has been pierced in the heart, and nothing can mend it.The words were weak, he didn't say anything, just shook his head, looked at Guo Zichen and said weakly: "It's not me."

"Not you?"

Just as Ke Chen was about to explain to him, when he raised his eyes again, the gun in Guo Zichen's hand was already pressed against his temple.

Turning his head, Ke Chen looked at Guo Zichen's face, the angry and determined expression made Ke Chen's eyes turn red, and he asked, "Are you going to kill me?"

Guo Zichen narrowed his long and narrow eyes into a line, and his eyes were ruthless that he had never seen before: "Isn't it enough to hurt me so badly? You also want to kill my father and Brother Chengwen... Tell me, don't kill you!" How do I explain to them?"

"Pfft..." Ke Chen couldn't help laughing, and laughed at himself, "How can I live like this." He is not afraid of pain or death, but he is afraid that Guo Zichen will not love him, hate him, and blame him.

This behavior angered Guo Zichen, he quickly loaded the gun, pressed it against Ke Chen's forehead again, and said angrily, "Ke Chen! Haven't you repented until now!"

"Repent?" Ke Chen's dark eyes were like stagnant water, and the emotions surging inside were quickly swallowed by the darkness, leaving a bleak smile: "I really want to kill Zhang Chengwen. Your hand, holding your face and kissing you, I felt so uncomfortable that I was about to die, I wished I could tear him into pieces. I told you, Chenchen, I have gone crazy long ago. "

"However, would you believe me if I said that the car accident had nothing to do with me?"

"..."

Guo Zichen was quiet and did not answer.

Ke Chen watched as the tragic smile faded from his face, and tears flowed down his face. The tears hit his heart drop by drop, and the heart convulsed violently, blocking his breathing.

"What is your heart made of... Do you know that if Brother Chengwen hadn't pulled me out of the quagmire again and again, I wouldn't be able to live anymore... Even so, you still think I haven't experienced enough, and I'm not miserable enough. ?"

Guo Zichen choked up and complained: "At that time you broke up with me, I just finished the operation, and I forgot too many things, but I remember that I can no longer pester you and let you pursue your own happiness, but you... that's it To me?"

Ke Chen raised his hand to gently wipe the tears on Guo Zichen's face, and said helplessly, "I made you sad again."

Originally, he was a person who was not afraid of anything, even if it was like now, Guo Zichen pointed a gun at him, as long as that person wanted him to die, he would never live, but...he couldn't make him unhappy anymore...

Thinking of this, Ke Chen shook his head mockingly, only to realize that Zhang Chengwen, who had never taken it seriously before, had put him in the army, because since Guo Zichen pointed the gun at himself, he already understood the choice between him, Zhang Chengwen, and Guo Zichen.

What should I do... I still lost to you in the end...

Gently leaning his head on Guo Zichen's shoulder, Ke Chen said word by word: "What about Zhang Xianyin, what about Zhang Chengwen, it doesn't matter if they are my relatives, but they are all tools to achieve their goals. You want me to feel guilty towards someone else? , with compassion, I may not be able to do it, but... if you want my life, I can give it to you."

Saying that, he took the gun from Guo Zichen's hand, wiped off the fingerprints on it, then put his fingers against the trigger and aimed at his heart, knelt down on one knee in front of Guo Zichen, and pulled Guo Zichen's hand over him holding the gun. The hand in the hand made a pleading voice: "It's just Chenchen, promise me that the operation will be done tomorrow, and you must live well."

Guo Zichen's face was full of tears, his vision had been blurred for a long time, he gritted his teeth, and suddenly used a lot of strength to hold Ke Chen's hand, but Ke Chen resisted it, the bullet did not slip out, Ke Chen was helpless Said: "Wait a minute...can you...kiss me one last time?"

Guo Zichen's hands trembled uncontrollably, he turned his head away, forced a cold expression on his tear-stained face.But in the next second, his lips were covered by another dry lip, and Ke Chen pressed forward with the gun pressed against his heart. Before he could avoid it, the man's tongue stuck in.

Guo Zichen's whole body froze, and he cried even harder without pushing him away.Ke Chen hurriedly left his lips: "I'm sorry, don't cry." After speaking, he suddenly let go of his hand against the gun, took off the necklace he was wearing around his neck and put it on Guo Zichen's neck, smiling: " You threw the ring away, is it okay not to throw it away?"

In the future, just in case... I said just in case, when you suddenly find this chain thrown in the corner while cleaning the room, you will think of me, remember that there was a person named Ke Chen who loved you for more than ten years.Although I ended up being buried by your own hands, I don't regret it at all. This time in my life, I walked with you.

Guo Zichen looked at the dark chain, and the pendant on it gave him a sense of familiarity, but he couldn't remember it at all. Just as he was in a daze, Ke Chen put his hand on his again, feeling Seeing the movement made by that cold hand, Guo Zichen subconsciously raised his hand to throw the gun out, but the movement was too slow, the gun only moved a few centimeters away, and then there was a muffled sound, and the black suit fabric on Ke Chen's chest A crimson hole appeared on the top.

"Ke Chen!" Guo Zichen didn't know why, subconsciously pressed down on his bleeding muzzle, hugged him and cried again.

Ke Chen stretched out his bloody hand to reach Guo Zichen's cheek with difficulty.

"Hi...I...like...you. Do you...like me...."

Guo Zichen held back his tears and hugged him, and was about to blurt out three words, but the faces of Zhang Chengwen and his father suddenly came to his mind, and those words were held back abruptly, becoming an eternal regret.Seeing that the arms of the person in his arms lost gravity and fell to the ground, his expectant eyes turned gray and dilapidated, and his body gradually lost temperature, Guo Zichen suddenly laughed loudly: "You deserve it! Retribution! It's all retribution!"

He stood up, walked towards the door in a daze, and left without saying a word.

Ke Chen stared at those eyes that could no longer see clearly, and heard the words "deserve and retribution" before losing consciousness, and then he heard the sound of him slamming the door heavily, and he didn't wait for Guo Zichen's words of love until he died.

After Guo Zichen went out, he hailed a taxi to go to the cemetery. The driver took a look at him. This man's face was smeared with congealed blood. On a snowy day, he went out barefoot and only wearing a thin silk pajamas. a neuropathy?Without daring to talk to him, he drove the car to the gate of the cemetery and drove away, leaving Guo Zichen to walk in front of Zhang Chengwen's tombstone with heavy steps.

"Brother Chengwen, I will avenge you." Guo Zichen walked this way on the snow, his body was already frozen, and he curled up in front of Zhang Chengwen's grave with his legs crossed: "You helped me so much before, but I never repaid you What... this time... I killed the person who killed you, is it worthy of your kindness to me?"

"It's just..." Guo Zichen remembered the words Zhang Chengwen scolded him not long ago: "People seem to be really cheap creatures."

Guo Zichen scraped away the snow in front of the grave, and used his fingers to dig the frozen soil in front of the tombstone. After digging for a long time, he made a small hole. He took out the pair of rings in his pocket, took a closer look, and then Bury it slowly, and say to the tombstone: "Be happy in your next life, find someone who likes you, and treat him well."

After doing this, he had exhausted the last bit of strength he was holding on to, and shrank like a puppet in front of the cold tombstone, gradually being swallowed up by the falling snowflakes and annihilated by the frozen earth.

Holding the necklace in his hand, the revolving lantern played in his mind like a tape, and he remembered too many things that he had forgotten.

I also think of that black chain, which was given to him by Ke Chen when he went to his house to watch fireworks with him on the roof during the Spring Festival when he was 20 years old.

What did he say then?Seems to be--

"Let's be together, shall we?"

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[The author has something to say]: Today is May 2020, 5, a special day. I finished my first novel, and the story I wrote for more than five months ended on this day. I feel very sad...Thank you for reading all the way Those dear ones, thank you for your messages that made me insist on writing them down, but...everything has a beginning and an end, we have to say goodbye to Chenchen, Brother Chen, Brother Chengwen...it's just...let's not say goodbye, okay? ?