PS 143

four

The next day, because the time difference had not been adjusted, and the schedule was still chaotic, it was almost noon when I opened my eyes.

After filling my stomach near home, I drove to F University.

I found my heart was beating so fast, and I was resisting unconsciously.I think I was afraid, afraid of not being able to find her; also afraid of being at a loss when I found her.

It took some time to park the car and find the correct location of the English department building.

I flipped through the announcement board outside the department office for the class opening information, and sure enough, there was her.

I wrote down the class time, more than an hour later, the class from [-]:[-] to [-]:[-].In other words, I still have time to find a classroom.I also looked through other materials by the way, and suddenly found that she is actually the current department head!This made me even more confused. How could I not find the information of the current head of the department on the Internet?What exactly is going on?I must ask her to clarify.

The classroom is not too difficult to find, it is a full classroom, even if a few more students sneak in, they should not be found.I entered the classroom early as before. There were already students in twos and threes in the classroom. I found a corner seat and sat down. I took out the hat in my bag and put it on. I like to observe the surroundings while wearing the hat. I feel that the shadow of the hat brim can hide my "observation" eyes.

I started wondering if she would find me?How would she react when she found out?What should I tell her after class?As I thought about it, some students gradually entered the classroom. I subconsciously reached out and lowered the brim of my hat. The students seemed to have no reaction to me, a stranger who suddenly appeared in the classroom.Maybe just like before, there are always many auditors in her class, and everyone is no stranger to it.

Still the same as before, she appeared in the classroom on time when the class bell rang.

At that moment, I felt like my heart was beating right beside my ear, fast and violent.She appeared with the usual calm posture, the same temperament, the same expression, but there was a strangeness in it that I was not familiar with.

How did she live during the five years of separation?Is she still alone?Do you still recognize me?Do you still love me?Can you still spot my existence at a glance?I found that I was afraid.

Many years later, the height of her high heels is a bit lower, and there are inevitably some signs of age on her face, but at the same time, her confidence and demeanor in her gestures are better than before.

I looked around and found that the classroom can be described as "full of seats". I sat in the last row, stared at her, and observed her carefully. After a while, she raised her head and met the way I looked at her. line of sight.

After being shocked for a moment, she continued to attend class as if nothing happened, but her eyes couldn't stop drifting towards me.She's making sure it's me?Still worried that I will leave halfway?I smiled, a kind of triumphant laugh.

She cares about me, I know, the nervous mood is also relaxed.

Before the middle class ended, she wrote down the writing practice topics on the blackboard. I smiled, picked up the pen and paper from my bag, and started writing my homework like a good student.

Of course, I wrote this kind of college-level composition like a pediatrics, and I finished it quickly. Of course, in addition to the homework, I also added two lines on my own initiative: "Youwemelotsofexplainations, Iwon'tleave'tilltheclassisover. I explained too much, I won't leave before the end of class.)" I think so, she should be very clear about the purpose of my coming.

I still sat in my seat and looked at her surrounded by "problem students". A long time ago, I used to sit in my seat and look at her like this.

From afar, adoring like a fan; to being a lover, watching her in class, secretly making eye contact; now, what role am I sitting here?I have no idea.

But in any case, since we met again, it is time to ask her to fulfill the sentence she wrote in the letter, "If you are still a person at that time and are willing to forgive me, then I will continue to love you without hesitation."

Oops!I should have taken the letter with me, how could I have forgotten it?I'm a little annoyed.

I look at her and smile.

"How old do you think the teacher is?" I suddenly heard the conversation of the students next to me.

"It should be... in her early forties at most, she feels quite young." Another classmate said.

"She is amazing to be the head of the department at such a young age." Hearing this, I couldn't help but secretly laughed.

"And she is so upright, many boys in our class can't choose her class." I laughed even bigger, but still secretly.

"That's not the point, the point is, she's super mysterious! I can't find any information about her on the school website. I've googled her, but there is no information about her coming to our school. All the information is about her. C major, and her class can’t be selected online, so you have to go to the English Department to be able to choose.” Suddenly someone interrupted.

"No wonder I tried to google before, but there was nothing. It turns out that she has tampered with it." I secretly thought, I must ask her to find out.

Soon after class, she was surrounded by her classmates during class time, and spent the first few minutes of class quickly reading the composition that everyone had passed on to the desk.Then I saw her smile, that smile I'm familiar with when she's at ease.

In the following class, I didn’t really concentrate on the class. I just sat on the seat and looked at the book I brought. Occasionally, when I raised my head, I would always meet the eyes that she just looked over. Appeared.I think there should be a silly smile on my face now.

I like the feeling of being a "secret lover".

Maybe it's because I read my homework, which is actually those two lines, so I feel more relaxed, and I feel more energetic when I start class.It felt like the students in the entire classroom were awakened by her.I really like her kind, which can affect the appeal of students.

"Don't you think the time flies so fast in Teacher Shi's class?" When the teacher announced that the class was over, I heard the students next to me say.

I laughed again, that's really how I've been feeling since I started taking her class.

Of course, I looked up and saw her surrounded by students, I was still sitting quietly on my seat, reading my book, waiting for her.

"Student, do you have any questions to ask me? Why did you stay so late?" I smiled and raised my head, looking at her who walked in front of me.

I stood up from my seat and looked at her quietly.In this way, none of us spoke, just looked into each other's eyes.

Then, she reached out and took off my hat, and the feeling of her fingertips sliding across my cheeks was so familiar that I almost cried.

"Youareback. (You are back.)" After a long time, she spoke first.

"Yes, Iamback. Foralltheexplainationsthatyouoweme. (Yes, I am back. For you, and you owe me an explanation.)" I looked at her and said.

"If...I'dnevertellyouany, willyoustayforever (if, I don't tell you anything, will you stay forever?)" Her hand covered my cheek.

"No matter you will tell me or not, I will stay with you forever, that'swhy I come back. (Whether you are going to tell me or not, I will always be by your side, this is the only reason I come back.)" I closed my eyes and put my hand on hers.

"Thank you, you don't hate me." She walked forward and hugged me gently.

"I've tried, but there's no way." I rested my head on her shoulder, feeling the breath I've been looking for for a long time.

"I'm sorry." There was guilt in her eyes.

"I think you need a lot of time to explain." I said with a smile.

"Okay, I will, let's go eat first. I'm hungry." The first sentence she let go of her hand was to eat again.

"It's really an endless meal with you!" I laughed out loud.

"Accompany me back to the research room first, and introduce someone to you." She said as she took my hand and moved to the lecture table.

I helped her take the students to hand in, a thick stack of homework, and leftover handouts.

When we were about to turn off the lights and leave the classroom, we were not sure what we saw.

"Mommy, you're so slow! It's been so long since class and I haven't come back, so I just came to you directly." That was a voice I was all too familiar with.

When the owner of the voice appeared in front of me, I stood still and didn't know how to respond. It was Philip who appeared in front of me.

The two of us looked at each other, oh no, the three of us looked at each other, he and I pointed at each other, and burst out at the same time: "Why are you here?"

"You two, do you know each other?" The teacher asked between us.

"Mommy, she is the senior I told you about. I chased after five years but couldn't catch up, and finally gave up." He pointed at me and said.

"She's your senior? You didn't study at CMU, how did she become your senior?" the teacher asked confused.

Philip's reaction was that his legs went limp, almost unable to stand.

"Oh my god, do you really know or not? I never went to CMU!" he yelled.

I was stunned and funny for a moment. What surprised me was that Philip was the teacher's son. What was funny was how could there be a mother who didn't even know what school her child went to.

"Ahahahahaha! So I am also from CMU!" After all, I laughed out loud.

"Hey! Damn kid, you laughed at me too loudly." The teacher glared at me.

"Then...how did you two know each other?" After Philip asked, I saw the teacher's face flashed with complexity for a second.

"She's an excellent student of mine." Almost unaffected, she responded to Philip's question quickly and directly.

But after finishing speaking, the eyes she cast on me were the most mixed eyes I've ever seen since I knew her.

I think I understand her worries and concerns.

Even though I really want to hold her hand and tell Philip that she is always in my heart, the one I must find when I go back to Taiwan, I still hold back.

I love her, that's for sure; I love her, so I have to think about her struggles and conflicts.

"So you two have known each other for a long time..." There was a tricky smile on Philip's face, although it was a mistake.

"Are we so happy to know you?" the teacher asked and handed him the bag in his hand, turned around and gave him my homework, and then hooked a "child", and the three of us went to her together The laboratory moves.

"In this way, you won't be eating with strangers when you eat with my mommy." He gave such an answer, but he said it to me.

"What do you mean?" the teacher looked at him and asked.

He told the teacher the "one and only request" he had been begging me for until my return.

"Thank you for your hard work, dealing with this kid." The teacher said to me after listening, his tone was full of politeness.

"No, I have to thank him for taking care of me. Also, I'm sorry that I couldn't accept him in the end." I replied politely, and at the same time hated this kind of deliberately keeping a distance.

Between chatting and chatting, we returned to the research room.

After Philip put his things away, he said he was going to the bathroom, and there were only two of us in the lab.