you were a boy

fifteen

Sun Yuanjun took the 03:30 am flight back to T city, and it was already [-]:[-] when he got home from the airport.He crept open the door, and as soon as he came in, he saw the lights in the living room were on, and the TV was still playing. It was playing "Animal World" from Central Nine. It was just a person and a dog watching TV on the sofa. They are all sleeping soundly, one is more fragrant than the other.

Sun Yuanjun watched this scene, and there was a kind of tenderness that he hadn't felt in many years slowly rippling in his heart. Someone at home would light a lamp for you, waiting for you to go home.It's probably one of the warmest things in the world.

Put the dog back in the kennel and put the person to bed.

Song Yu suddenly woke up in a daze, vaguely smelling a familiar smell, and kissed his face close to him by accident, almost subconsciously, and then muttered like a raving: "Brother, you're back ?”

Hearing this familiar title again, Sun Yuanjun froze for a moment, and kissed that soft lips regardless of the stinky sweat from traveling all the way.

This rough kiss finally woke Song Yu up.

He was constantly being attacked by his lips and tongue, and he was constantly forced to swallow their saliva regardless of each other. It was also miraculous that he didn't feel sick.

When their lips parted, Sun Yuanjun looked at him with deep eyes, as if he wanted to see through him, and said, "Call again."

"Did I call something just now?" Song Yu lowered his deer-like eyes, not looking at him.

Seeing that he didn't want to talk anymore, Sun Yuanjun didn't make things difficult for him.It was like this in the past, whenever Song Yu told a lie, he would look away. He has hardly changed over the years.

However, he has become too much, and sometimes Sun Yuanjun hardly recognizes himself when he looks in the mirror.

If it wasn't for this, it would be impossible for Song Yu to break up with him.

That's right, it was Song Yu who broke up with him.

He never thought that Song Yu, who loves him the most in the world, would break up with him one day.

Song Yu interrupted Sun Yuanjun's meditation and advised him to take a bath.

Listening to the sound of the shower coming from the bathroom, Song Yu suddenly remembered what happened a long time ago.How long ago?Song Yu felt that he couldn't remember clearly again.

At that time, Sun Yuanjun had just signed with a brokerage company, but was hidden for a long time for no reason.Like every young man who pursues his dreams, Sun Yuanjun has also been a North drifter.But because I was a student of a famous university in Beijing, this experience was not so bleak.In Sun Yuanjun's junior year, Song Yu finally came to Beijing, a less famous university.However, after so many years, the two are finally in the same city again.

When Song Yu came to Beijing by train, he bought a sleeper berth, but he didn't fall asleep all night. Thinking of being able to be with him again, he was so excited that he couldn't sleep all night.

As a result, he arrived at the station after six o'clock in the morning, but he fell asleep again, sat past the station, and then sat back again. Sun Yuanjun waited for him at the train station for more than four hours.

But when he saw their family in a daze, there was no trace of complaint on their faces, and the smile on their faces was as bright as the clear sky in Lijiang in March.Song Yu still remembers the scene that day: in the crowd of people at the Beijing Railway Station, his boyfriend was wearing a black T-shirt, standing like a straight tree, clean and straight, he was so handsome.The people around are coming and going, in Song Yu's eyes, it seems that they automatically become the background picture.He recognized Sun Yuanjun at a glance and wished he could throw himself into his arms immediately.

Sun Yuanjun was a poor student at the time, and occasionally went to the bar to sing and sing with Li Si and other friends, and his income was meager, so he could only afford to live in the basement. some days.

The freshman dormitory sometimes conducts ward rounds. After the ward rounds, Sun Yuanjun will come downstairs to pick him up from the dormitory.As long as he has time, Sun Yuanjun will cook for him as much as possible, and make what he likes to eat. Of course, it is because of poverty that he can save a little bit.It was during that time that he became Sun Yuanjun's culinary skill.Winter in Beijing was extremely cold, but there was no heating in the basement, and he was afraid to raise the stove for fear of carbon monoxide poisoning. Sun Yuanjun kept persuading Song Yu to go back to school, and he himself went back to school.Song Yu, who was always obedient, insisted and never went back to the dormitory.

Song Yu remembered that he was 19 years old and Sun Yuanjun was 20 years old.

The winter in Beijing that year was extremely cold. They walked side by side in the snowy streets, for a little bit of confused opportunity and way out in the future; they were in a small basement, wearing all the clothes and covering all the The quilt was still shivering with cold, and they had to hug and kiss all night long to support each other through the long night.

For a while, he was so poor that he could only eat a pack of instant noodles a day. Sun Yuanjun couldn't see Song Yu suffering, and planned to ask his parents in Shenzhen to send money.Song Yu stopped him, saying that he was going to work part-time, so he shouldn't be unable to survive.

Sun Yuanjun said that he could also take a part-time job, Song Yu said: "You should go write songs, I hate to see you wasting time. My talent is not as good as yours, I want you to work harder."

On that day, someone called Sun Yuanjun's mobile phone and asked him if a crew needed an actor to audition, and asked him if he wanted to go.

Song Yu didn't know if the later Sun Yuanjun regretted receiving that phone call. Anyway, for several years later, he had been missing the days when they hugged each other to keep warm in the basement.Song Yu has never suffered since he was a child, and has always been pampered, but he stubbornly believes that those days were the best time in his life.

However, one day, Sun Yuanjun told him: It is better to forget each other in the rivers and lakes than to be in love with each other.

When Sun Yuanjun came in again, he noticed that Song Yu's expression was a little strange.I touched his head and thought he was not feeling well.

"Why don't you go to bed and sleep, it's easy to catch a cold if you don't cover yourself with a quilt."

"I don't have a cold."

"Then why is the nasal voice so heavy?"

"I—" Song Yu didn't want to say that he was crying, so he justified: "Aren't you happy when someone waits for you? You're so talkative all day long, and if you annoy me, no one will wait for you?"

Sun Yuanjun felt that when they met again, Song Yu hadn't changed at all, even his face hadn't changed much, except that the baby fat on his face was gone, but he was still so smart and good-looking, but his personality was awkward.In the past, he said one thing and never said another, but now it's just how awkward it is.It was a very warm sentence at first, but because he said he was going to leave, Sun Yuanjun felt uncomfortable when he heard it. He didn't say anything, but just hugged the villain in his arms a little tighter.

Song Yu also knew that he was wrong, and asked resentfully, "Why don't you talk?"

"I talk too much, I'm afraid you will leave." Sun Yuanjun leaned close to his ear and said, the breath of speaking was blown into his ear.

Song Yu was soon tickled.

After an indescribable process, Sun Yuanjun asked again: "Do you still want to leave?" His voice was laziness.

"Don't go? Do you support me? I still have to work."

Sun Yuanjun didn't answer the words, but acted more condescendingly.

Afterwards, he hugged Song Yu to take a bath, and then returned to the bed. It was almost dawn.

Fortunately, the curtains were enough to block the light, and the two slept comfortably until one o'clock in the afternoon.

Sun Yuanjun woke up first, and when he moved, Song Yu also woke up.He asked in a daze, "Is there an announcement?"

"No, I'll cook for you. What do you want to eat?"

Song Yu thought for a while, "I want to eat scallion pancakes, glutinous rice balls with fermented glutinous rice, and fried rice balls in red oil."

"You're really welcome."

Song Yu smiled coquettishly.

An hour later, Song Yu really didn't expect that the three things he wanted to eat would actually appear in front of him.The scallion pancakes are pretty easy to make, but where did he get the glutinous rice balls and Chao Shou?

This is really a miraculous person. He came back so late last night, worked for so long, and was able to hold him on the bed for so long. He was so lively that he could even participate in a triathlon.Even making breakfast can be like magic.

"Don't be in a daze, eat quickly!" Sun Yuanjun rubbed Song Yu's sleepy hair.

Song Yu was about to start eating when he slapped him again, "You are stupid, you haven't brushed your teeth yet!"

Ah, Song Yu felt so ashamed that he watched the handsome shirtless guy in the apron cook, even if he drool, he didn't even remember to brush his teeth before eating.

Song Yu was indeed hungry, and since they were all his favorite things, it was inevitable that he would gobble them up.

Seeing that he was about to choke, Sun Yuanjun hurried to pour him a glass of water.

After eating, Song Yu almost hugged his stomach and lay down on the dining chair.

Sun Yuanjun cleaned up the dishes and sat down again.

Song Yu glanced at him and asked, "Do you have anything to say?"

Sun Yuanjun took out two cards from his pocket, one was a room card and the other was a passport.

He handed it to Song Yu, but Song Yu didn't pick it up.

He himself felt that he was quite wretched, and he was about to speak in an extremely unnatural way. Song Yu asked, "Are you trying to keep me? A big star."

"No, why do you think so? It was like this many years ago, what's yours is mine, and what's mine is yours."

Seeing that Song Yu's face softened a little, he continued, "I just want you to live a better life."

Song Yu thought to himself: What was the relationship between me and you then, and what is the relationship now?A sentence came out of his mouth: "It's different now."

Sun Yuanjun's heart moved, and he asked, "What do you think of our current relationship?"

Song Yu pretended to be relaxed and said: "You are lonely, I am lonely, everyone is an adult, that's the way it is."

Song Yu witnessed with his own eyes that the light in Sun Yuanjun's eyes went from scorching to disappearing, and he thought he really hurt him quite badly this time.

After a moment.

"I didn't expect you to see it very openly." Sun Yuanjun gave him a cold look, and continued: "Have you played with many people over the years? You have been down there all the time. Can you still be hard when you see a woman?"

"I see that women can't be hard, and that's better than just relying on scandals with women to make headlines!"

Song Yu saw Sun Yuanjun's eyebrows move, and he also felt that it was abnormal for him to speak such vicious words.

"Yes, I'm rumored to be a gossip, but look at who in this entertainment circle is not a hype? I can't help myself. Do you know how many people behind me depend on me for support?"

"I don't know, I just know that you are not the Sun Yuanjun I met when I was 13 years old." Song Yu's eyes were already red when he spoke, "I have already bought a plane ticket back to Shenzhen the day after tomorrow. Have a longer spring dream!"

"I pushed all the announcements these days to accompany you. Do you know how much I have to pay? Song Yu, can you stop making trouble." Sun Yuanjun was really tired, exhausted and just wanted to hug Hold on to the person in front of you.

"Who asked you to push, and I didn't ask you to push." ​​Song Yu avoided the hug of the person in front of him, and said cruelly: "Sun Yuanjun, we have already broken up!"

Sun Yuanjun's extended hug fell to nothing, and only the words "break up, break up, break up" were left buzzing in his ears.

What has supported him all these years until now is that he thought that the relationship between him and Song Yu was just a protracted cold war, and he thought that one day they would be reconciled as before.The two grew up together, accompanied each other, and became as natural as breathing.Song Yu almost carried his most doubtless feelings and love in this world.

Sun Yuanjun grabbed and imprisoned Song Yu almost like crazy. Song Yu struggled desperately with tears in his eyes, but he would never be his opponent in terms of strength.Almost without warning, he took off his pants.

……

Song Yu's legs were shaking with pain, he thought it must be broken there.Sun Yuanjun is possessed by a demon king and has no mercy.Said in his ear: "Don't you just like to have sex with me? I promise you to play with you."

Song Yu looked at him with tears in his eyes, convinced that he really didn't know this person.

The man's violence continued: "If you don't want the money, then I'll play for nothing. You think you're the only one who is noble, right? That's because you don't know what life is. Who climbs to a high place without stepping on other people's bones ?”

……

Song Yu didn't struggle anymore, lying on the bed like a dead body, asking for anything and everything from the man's almost endless demands.

He loathed himself to the extreme. This body, which had obviously been overindulged for several days, could still feel pleasure under such a violent invasion.

……

Song Yu hugged Sun Yuanjun as he was dying: "Brother, if you do this again, I will die."

Song Yu saw Sun Yuanjun suddenly wake up like a dream, and when he looked up, his eyes were full of tears.Song Yu even felt sorry for him, reaching out to wipe his tears.

Sun Yuanjun picked him up and said, "I'll take you to the hospital."

Song Yu shook his head, "No, just let me rest for a while."

Sun Yuanjun was determined to go.

Song Yu said: "The nature of your job, if it is exposed, you will be finished."

Sun Yuanjun scratched his hair in pain, got up and washed his face with cold water, took a towel, and fetched a basin of hot water to wipe Song Yu's body.

Song Yu's body was originally thin and tender, and it was surprisingly white. Whenever he was scratched or touched, the redness would be particularly obvious.Looking at it now, his whole body is blue and purple, and there are hardly any good pieces of meat.Sun Yuanjun couldn't let go of the towel, but Song Yu comforted him calmly: "It's okay, it doesn't hurt."

After wiping his whole body, he didn't make a sound.It's not that Song Yu is strong, it's that Song Yu knows that Sun Yuanjun actually hurts more than him.

Then it was a long time to apply the medicine, Song Yu was not shy, lying on the bed, obediently not moving.The man knelt on the ground, carefully applying the medicine bit by bit with a cotton swab, with a pious attitude and a serious facial expression, as if he was treating some precious jade, as if he was not the same person as the person who injured him just now.

After taking the medicine, he even kissed Song Yu lightly on the lips.

Then lying side by side on the bed, Sun Yuanjun asked, "Song Yu, why did we become like this?"

Song Yu shook his head, expressing that he didn't know.

Sun Yuanjun said again: "I just want us to be together."

Song Yu smiled wryly, "But we will only hurt each other when we are together."

"Song Yu, you have always loved me so much before, why can't you love me now?"

Song Yu looked at Sun Yuanjun, and he really wanted to say that he has always loved him so much, from childhood to adulthood, until now, even Sun Yuanjun who was violent to him just now, he couldn't help but love him.

When I was a child, I fell in love with it at the first glance in the crowd.

The age of thirteen or fourteen is exactly the age for teenagers to chase stars and worship idols.And Song Yu's only idol since he was a child is Sun Yuanjun.He chased Sun Yuanjun passionately like a sunflower chasing the sun.Look at him everywhere, there is almost no imperfection.It is good to look anywhere, but the happiest thing in life is that the idol you chase also likes you.

Song Yu loved so carefully in those years, he always felt that he had exhausted all the luck in his life to meet Sun Yuanjun.He is the light and heat in his life, he made an ordinary self not so ordinary, and life started all kinds of wonderful journeys.

Until one day, he suddenly saw the other side behind the light of the sun, there are so many sunspots, even dark matter.

Sun Yuanjun is an ordinary person after all.He will also compromise on life and the world.

He is no longer the boy who told him loudly that he should have dreams in life, and told him to pursue his dreams bravely.

But Song Yu still loves him very much, they have been with him for a long time, their lives have already blended together, and they exist as naturally as breathing, how could he not love him?He is his wife, and only he can stir up his love and all the fires of desire.They are each other's sex, away from each other, sex and beast mating/mating is no different.

His youth has deeply branded his scent, and since then his sense of smell has failed, and he can no longer smell any flowers.

All his awkwardness comes from the fact that he just doesn't like himself like this.

He no longer wants to be a sunflower who only knows how to chase the sun.

Sun Yuanjun gently hugged Song Yu, careful not to touch those shocking scars, and asked like a wronged child: "What did I do wrong?"

He really doesn't understand, is there anything wrong with being successful?Is it wrong to make money?Why can't they share joys and sorrows together when they obviously can share troubles together?

After coming over for a while, he heard Song Yu say: "You obviously know."