hope for redemption

The tassels of Buddha beads hanging in front of the rearview mirror are constantly swaying as the vehicle moves forward, and the incense sticks tied to the cold air outlet are also rustling slightly.

Seeing that he was about to reach his destination, Alps glanced in the rearview mirror, and decided to repeat: "Try to control your emotions later, your mental strength is now on the verge of critical value, if you If there is another violent riot within a few days, your nerve endings will be damaged, and even the Heavenly King and Lao Tzu will not be able to save you, you know?"

"I know," Lin Wang turned to look at him and replied seriously, "Don't worry, it won't happen."

"It doesn't matter if I don't worry about it, you can ask your wife if she doesn't worry about it." Alps raised his chin at Jiang Xi in the rearview mirror and said.

How could he feel at ease, but Jiang Xi didn't stop him, because he knew that Lin Wang made this decision after careful consideration, and even if he stopped it, it might not be useful.

All he can do is to leave a way out for him like Lin Wang did for him before.

Jiang Xi squeezed Lin Wang's hand and said in relief, "There are medicines and needles, you can't control them and we are there, so just do what you want."

If Lin Wang really loses control at that time, Jiang Xi can still stabilize him for a while, and Alps can use this time to inject and take medicine for Lin Wang to calm him down quickly. Although the side effects of doing so are serious , but it was better than the nerve and ability damage caused by two consecutive riots.

"Okay," Lin Wangbao met Jiang Xi's eyes affectionately, and raised his hand to rub his cheek.

"Oh my god," Alps bared his teeth sourly, hurriedly looked away from the rearview mirror, and rolled his eyes several times at the top of the car window.

Couples in love are really too unfriendly to single dogs.

Cars couldn't drive into the nursing home, so they parked the car on the lawn off the path from the nursing home, took the medical kit and the three of them walked in.After registering with the doorman, he walked directly to the room where Lin Wang's mother lived. No one spoke during the whole process.

The three of them all had long legs, and they took another step and just walked forward, and soon reached the door of the room.

It can be seen that Lin Wang was mentally prepared a long time ago, before he stood still, he raised his hand and knocked on the door, his movements were quick without any hesitation or sloppiness.

"Here we come," Aunt Wang's voice came from the room, and with the approach of footsteps, the door was opened from the inside.Aunt Wang saw Lin Wang standing outside the door and shouted happily: "Wang Wang is here! Come in quickly."

Lin Wang walked in with Jiang Xi and the others and asked, "Aunt Wang, where is my mother?"

"It's resting inside," Aunt Wang led them into the bedroom.

Lin Wang's mother was sitting by the window looking at the scenery outside the window in a daze, her dull expression was just like what they had seen before.

"Aunt Wang," Lin Wang turned around with a smile on his face, "Go to the town and help me buy some fruit."

Aunt Wang was startled, and saw Jiang Xi and Alps next to Lin Wang, and then realized that they were entertaining guests, and immediately nodded and replied, "Okay, okay, what fruit do you want to eat?"

Lin Wang casually reported the names of a few fruits to her, and as soon as Aunt Wang left, Lin Wang closed and locked the door, and strode into the master bedroom.

Jiang Xi and Alps didn't follow in, but waited in the living room, but Lin Wang didn't close the door of the master bedroom either.

The distance between the master bedroom and the living room is very close, and the people inside can hear what the people sitting in the living room say.

Lin Wang's mother still sat there motionless, like a mentally disturbed patient who had abandoned her senses of everything in this world.

"Mom," Lin Wang walked over and called softly, putting his hands on her shoulders.

He looked at the scenery of the nursing home outside the window, the manicured flower bed shrubs, the winding gravel path, and the sparkling green lake, full of vitality.

But his mood couldn't be as bright and bright as the beautiful scenery. He tried hard to stabilize his turbulent thoughts, shouted the sourness in his mouth, and opened his mouth with difficulty.

"I have been with my grandfather since I was a child, and you and Lin Yande don't come back several times a year. When I was young, my grandfather always told me that you were busy and making money, in order to give me a better life. I didn't understand it when I was young, and I didn't understand why. The family is already so rich, you still have to go out to earn money, and you don’t even have time to spend with your son.”

"Before I was sent to Noah's Ark, the only thing that impressed me was that you came back to celebrate my birthday when I was seven years old. Before my birthday that year, I thought it would be the same as in previous years, only grandpa, second grandpa and third grandpa The people around me have been with me, and I didn't expect much in my heart that you would come back."

"But you guys gave me a surprise, you came back the day before my birthday, and you brought back a lot of toys. On my birthday, you took me to an amusement park, watched a movie, ate KFC, bought cotton candy, took a ride We did many, many things together, and I can still remember each of them very clearly, do you still remember?"

Lin Wang asked this question for a long time without getting a response. His mother still sat there motionless with her usual dull expression, isolated from the whole world.

Lin Wang lowered his head and gave a self-deprecating chuckle. The hand on his mother's shoulder didn't show any strength, but the other hand hanging beside him had already clenched into a fist, with bulging veins.

"That is, after that birthday, I was tested by the people you brought to have the ability of absolute precision. I still remember the ecstatic expressions on your faces that day, which I have never seen before. Proud and proud of this ability.”

"Later, I was sent to Noah's Ark by you. Seeing me come back with one trophy after another every year, watching me climb up one level after another every year, you must be very happy."

"You will always only pay attention to my grades. Everyone else has gone back during the holidays, but you have never booked me a plane ticket. All I am waiting for is the information about the additional training you passed on to Mr. Yu. Since I was sent by you Noah's Ark, I have returned to China less than five times. I even sneaked back to attend the funeral of my grandfather when he passed away."

"I never went back and you never came to see me, never cared about what kind of life I lived in Noah's Ark."

Speaking of this, the past scenes began to flash in Lin Wang's mind, and all the pictures were like slow motion in a movie, slowly sliding before his eyes frame by frame, like a knife with a cold light separating A tightly packed camouflage.

Lin Wang's narration continued, but he never stopped to wait for a reply like before.

"You know what I have to deal with every day besides piles and piles of data, building after modeling, and row after row of courses?"

"I also have to deal with insults, beatings, and frame-ups from capable people from various countries and regions. I don't know what you guys thought when you sent me there, did you expect this kind of situation? Happened. It’s because you think that the Accuracy Department will definitely protect me if you have more people around.”

"If this is the case, then you are really too stupid and naive. In Noah's Ark, no one can really protect anyone. That kind of thing started when I took home the first trophy until After I finished learning the third-level martial arts, I turned the Englishman who took the lead in bullying me on the wall and disabled his hand. The time during this period is not too long, and it is more than four years if it is full of fights."

At this time, Lin Wang felt a slight tremor in the hand on his shoulder.Very light, as light as a butterfly flapping its wings.But Lin Wang still noticed it.

He looked down at her profile, and the sadness in his eyes rolled more and more violently.

"But I never blamed you. You too, and Lin Yande too. At that time, I only thought about how to learn more, stand taller, go further, and make my abilities and myself a proud existence for you all." .”

"Until Lin Yande took me back to the country, shattered my hope and joy, tore off the disguise of his loving father, and told me plainly that you and I were just tools for him to keep climbing. Later, the tool was gone. It’s useless, you’re crazy and I’m sick, he just kicked us away without mercy.”

"But the funny thing is, my grandpa left all my property to me before he died, and Lin Yande didn't get a penny. If he wants to get back the 20.00% shares that originally belonged to him, he has to take care of me until I reach adulthood I don't know if you still remember the face he had when he came to beg me to go back to Lin's house, you should remember, after all, it's really rare for him to bow his knees like that. "

"Do you remember how you reacted? You screamed, you freaked out, but you didn't forget to remind me he was my dad."

Lin Wang's hands increased suddenly, and he firmly clasped his mother's shoulders and pressed her on the wheelchair.

"Recalling that scene now, I can understand something. Why do you just scream and go crazy every time you get mad. But only that time, you spoke. You use your madness, you use My soft heart forced me, and I did as you wished. I did not sever the father-son relationship with him. Until I became an adult on my 18th birthday, Lin Yande got his 20.00% shares. In the rest of his life, even if there is no one with absolute ability With the support, with that 20.00% stake, he can live comfortably in his old age.”

"I think that's why after you came back with me, you never remembered my birthday, but you only remembered my 18th birthday."

Having said that, Lin Wang could no longer restrain the grief and anger in his heart, pressed her shoulder and pushed her hard, turning the woman with the wheelchair around to face him.

The person in the wheelchair had long since lost the dull expression on his face at the beginning, and his eyes were no longer empty and slack, replaced by panic, restlessness and grief.

In fact, Lin Wang has always been unwilling to believe what Jiang Xi said, but when he saw his mother's expression now, he couldn't help but not believe it.

He couldn't even fool himself if he wanted to.

"You know...do you know how much I hate myself after you went crazy?" Lin Wang clenched his teeth, his face twitching slightly due to excessive force, "how much I hate my ability, my ability Looks. Do you know how I can’t sleep and struggle every day, every night.”

"Whenever I think about that incident, I blame myself. If I had been more capable and more accurate at that time, I would have done the stitching that should have been done by me in the end instead of handing it over to me. If I do it for you, you won't go crazy."

"You know the images that flashed in my mind every time I rioted, when you were full of screaming and crazy images, how much I wanted to kill Lin Yande and then kill myself. You know, Mother!"

Lin Wang's mother was sitting tremblingly in the wheelchair, her big tears kept rolling down, watching Lin Wang with endless hatred in her eyes moved her lips, but she couldn't say anything.

Seeing her like this, Lin Wang felt chills in his heart, and the hatred in his eyes began to be permeated by the coldness.

"I'll just ask you a question, why are you still pretending to be crazy after I took you away from Lin Yande?" Lin Wang stared at her, refusing to let go of the change of emotion in her eyes.

If it is understandable that she pretended to be crazy before Lin Wang, it was to escape Lin Yande.But why did she continue to pretend to be crazy after escaping? She didn't even think about confessing to them.

Lin Wang needs to know the reason.

In fact, he already had the answer in his heart, but he didn't want to believe it.

"I..." Lin Wang's mother opened her mouth with difficulty, but she could only utter one syllable in vain.After maintaining this movement for a while, she slowly closed her mouth again, and looked at Lin Wang with pleading eyes.

At this moment, Lin Wang fully understood.

He suddenly felt that he had been a little ridiculous all these years.

Over the years, he has been feeling guilty and blaming himself for the accident.

But it never occurred to him that that incident was never an accident, but a well-designed self-escape that calculated everyone.

His mother loved Lin Yande deeply, but she couldn't bear the high-pressure and high-intensity mental consumption, so she came up with that trick and pretended to be crazy.Using this to escape from Lin Yande and his feelings for him, and use the illusion of madness to paralyze himself and deceive everyone.

But she can fool no one, she can't even fool herself.

That's why she refused, afraid to see Lin Wang, afraid to see that face that was very similar to Lin Yande.

"You're really...too selfish," Lin Wang looked at her coldly and condescendingly, "Did you ever think about your mother-in-law and Lao Zhang...do you ever think about me when you do this?"

Even now, Lin Wang still has an extravagant hope, he hopes that his mother can still show a little maternal love to him, just like the rare but extremely warm maternal love when he was a child.

It's a pity that extravagant hopes are extravagant hopes. Lin Wang's mother just sat there, pursed her lips and refused to say anything, and looked at Lin Wang with pleading eyes.

What is she praying for?Lin Wang couldn't help thinking.

Do you pray that you don't speak out, don't expose it, or pray that you don't continue to speak, so as to pierce the illusion that she has been paralyzing her all this time.

Lin Wang couldn't figure it out, but it didn't matter anymore, it didn't matter anymore.

He lowered his head and smiled sadly, turned his head to look at the scene outside the window, his pupils were not focused: "The price here is not expensive, the environment is very good, it is very suitable for you to continue to live. Since my face is so exciting to you, I will pay attention to it in the future." Try my best, try my best, and do my best not to let it appear in front of you, so you can live here comfortably and securely."

Without looking at her after speaking, and without waiting for her reply, Lin Wang let go of his tightly clenched hands, raised his head and walked out with big strides.

"Don't...don't say it."

Suddenly, a hoarse and short voice sounded from behind, those two words were light and short, only a second from the beginning to the end, but it was the words of this second that shattered Lin Wang's final subtlety. imperceptible hope.

Lin Wang ignored her, he looked at Jiang Xi who was standing in the living room rolling tears, and waved to him: "Come here."

Jiang Xi couldn't wait a long time ago. Before Lin Wang could finish his sentence, he rushed over and threw himself into his arms, patting his back and whispering, "I'm here, I'm here."

The moment Jiang Xi threw himself into his arms, Lin Wang finally couldn't hold it anymore, he lost all strength and pressed on Jiang Xi, allowing him to drag him out.

"This.."

Jiang Xi gestured for Alps to shut up with a mute gesture, and said in a low voice, "Take the things, let's go."

Alps also immediately understood what Jiang Xi meant, took a deep look into the bedroom, then picked up the medicine box and followed Jiang Xi and the others out.

The two supported Lin Wang together and took him out of the nursing home, put him in the car and drove back to the county.

Along the way, Lin Wang rested his pillow on Jiang Xi's leg, allowing him to touch his face and pat his back, closing his eyes as if he was asleep.

But those trembling eyelashes still betrayed his turbulent mood.

Everyone didn't say anything, and they were silent all the way.

After arriving at the rented apartment downstairs, Alps parked the car and signaled to Jiang Xi that the two of them should help Lin Wang up together, but before he could open the car door, Lin Wang himself sat on Jiang Xi's lap. Woke up.

"Let's go up first, thank you for sending us off today." Lin Wang thanked.

"Ah...it's okay, it's okay," Alps asked worriedly, looking through the rearview mirror, "do you feel anything?"

"There is no riot," Lin Wang twitched the corners of his mouth, trying to show a relieved smile, but he could only forcefully move the corners of his mouth.

"Well... that's good," Alps was a little embarrassed, not knowing how to proceed.

"Let's go up first," Lin Wang picked up at the right time, "Please make this trip today, and drive carefully on the way back. We'll still be on time tomorrow."

Alps nodded hastily, and agreed.

The two got out of the car, went upstairs and returned to the room hand in hand.

Almost as soon as he entered the door, before he even had time to change his shoes, Lin Wang directly pulled Jiang Xi onto the bed, held him in his arms, closed his eyes, and felt his breath and temperature.

Lin Wang's hands were strong, and Le Dijiang Xi's arms were aching, but he still held back and stretched out his hands to wrap around his neck, imitating how he usually touches the back of his neck to touch him.

He whispered in his ear: "I am here, I am here."

Even though Jiang Xi already has a general understanding of Lin Wang's past, hearing him tell it himself today is still so painful that he can't breathe. The silver needle covered with frost pierced into the softest part of Jiang Xi's heart.

Jiang Xi could understand and even feel Lin Wang's heart-piercing grief and anger that wanted to destroy everything.

Because he has also experienced the fatal blow brought by this kind of parent.

There is no empathy, only because I have experienced the same experience so I can understand and feel pain.

"Xixi, I don't owe her anything." Lin Wang said hoarsely.

"Yes," Jiang Xi put his hand into his back and rubbed it, "You don't owe anyone."

"Wrong," Lin Wang loosened his strength, passed under Jiang Xi's armpit, held him up by the creaking pit, looked into his eyes and said, "I still owe you a future, a future that can be with you." Climbing to the top together, standing side by side for the future."

The author has something to say:

Two chapters, two chapters today, because I have written too much, and I can't wait to share Miss An Sheng with you.