hope for redemption

There have been several torrential rains recently, and the rainwater has overflowed the irrigation canals in the farmland. Farmers divert all the water from the irrigation canals into the dike behind the rented house. The breeze blows through, causing waves of crisp water hammering, accompanied by long cicadas. Ming, there is still a feeling of Jiangnan water town in this silent night.

Jiang Xi lay on the bed and listened to the sounds outside the house, and his restless heart gradually calmed down.

He came back with Lin Wang, but he didn't want to live in his own room. He wasn't ready to face what happened just now, so the two of them went back to Lin Wang's room.

"I bought some ointment, and I'll rub it on for you?" Lin Wang got on the bed lightly, and sat beside Jiang Xi at an appropriate distance.

Jiang Xi wrapped the quilt and said in a muffled voice, "No, I wiped it."

"Have you wiped it? Who wiped it for you, and where did it come from." Lin Wang frowned and asked.

As soon as Jiang Xi heard this tone, he knew that he was thinking too much, and replied in a slightly irritable tone: "I borrowed it from Alps, and wiped it myself."

Lin Wang immediately grasped the point: "Why does he have this kind of ointment there, he is also..."

"That ointment is different!" Jiang Xi sat up 'scrambling' and explained, "It only has anti-inflammatory and pain-relieving effects, not a special one."

"Oh," Lin Wangxuan felt relieved when he heard Jiang Xi say this, and said after thinking for a while, "I'd better wipe it for you, and you'll get better sooner."

Jiang Xi ignored him, turned his head and wrapped himself in the quilt again, leaving only Lin Wang a back view.

Seeing his appearance, Lin Wang lowered his eyes helplessly, moved a little closer, stretched out his hand to lift off a corner of the quilt, touched Jiang Xi's nape, and coaxed: "Let me wipe it for you, please don't talk to me." I'm such an asshole."

"What are you wiping me at this time, you went in without hesitation, what are you still pretending to do here." Jiang Xi sarcastically tinged with tears.

A look of distress flashed in Lin Wang's eyes, and he said bitterly: "Don't torment yourself, I'll wipe it for you."

After finishing speaking, without waiting for Jiang Xi to reply, Lin Wang directly lifted the quilt and gave him medicine.

Even though I just took anti-inflammatory and pain-relieving medicines, but after all, I didn't make any expansion, the whole situation is still very serious.

Lin Wang knew that Jiang Xi was afraid of pain, so he didn't dare to think how Jiang Xi endured the pain without making a sound, and finally cleaned up by himself.

He now has the heart to kill himself.

"It hurts!" Jiang Xi yelled while laying on the pillow, "Take it easy."

Lin Wang's hand bounced away like an electric shock, lowered his eyes sadly, and said in a hoarse voice, "I'm sorry."

Although he knew it was useless to say this, he still wanted to say it.

It's useless, you still have to express your apology.

"You are now..." Jiang Xi originally wanted to continue to sarcasm, but he suddenly realized that Lin Wang couldn't be blamed for this incident. Firstly, he himself was at fault, and secondly, this was not Lin Wang's original intention.

Jiang Xi thought for a while, turned his face to look at Lin Wang and asked, "Every time you treat me like this, what are you thinking about?"

Lin Wang's heart skipped a beat when he heard him ask this question. After adjusting his breathing, he said in a hoarse voice, "Possess you...control you."

"...Why did you choose this method?" Jiang Xi continued to ask, he wanted to find out what Lin Wang was thinking.

"The most direct," Lin Wang trembled uncontrollably with his hands applying the medicine, "the most...tightest."

it is as expected.

The tip of Jiang Xi's nose was a little sore. He turned over and sat up, grabbed Lin Wang's trembling hand, and said in a muffled voice, "Do you know what I'm thinking every time you treat me like this?"

"...Don't talk about it." Lin Wang's emotions broke down.

"You have to listen," Jiang Xi used some strength to keep him in place, "I feel sick, I feel like I'm a fucking prostitute, I think you're using me as a 'desire' device."

Although Jiang Xi knew that Lin Wang didn't think so, and he could argue confidently when Alps said that, but none of these could cover up the fact that he felt this way at that moment.

Jiang Xi's every word was like a blunt knife stabbing into Lin Wang's heart. Those knife handles were being held and stirred constantly, and the whole heart was twisted to a bloody mess.

It was not Jiang Xi who was holding the handle of the knife, but Lin Wang himself.

"Lin Wang, this is the second time," Jiang Xi held his hand to narrow the distance between the two, slowly opened his arms and slipped inside.

When Jiang Xi was about to continue talking, he found that Lin Wang was crying. It was different from his coquettish crying in front of Lin Wang every time. Lin Wang cried quietly and silently. , but you can feel his forbearance, his remorse, and his grief.

Lin Wang was grieving, so why not Jiang Xi.

But this matter cannot not be mentioned or explained clearly because of their grief, otherwise it will be a thorn in their hearts forever.

If there must be one person who speaks first and makes a decision first, then Jiang Xi hopes that that person is himself.

Jiang Xi put her arms around Lin Wang's neck, raised her head and kissed the tears that fell on his chin, all the way up and finally stayed on his eyelids: "Lin Wang, this is the second time. The first time, when I forgave you the moment you said 'I love you, love you with flesh and blood'. Today this time, when you leaned on my shoulder and said 'Come home with me, please' I I forgive you too."

"However, I have a bottom line, there are only three things. If there is a third time...I will love you forever, but I will never forgive you."

"I will always love you, but I will never forgive you."

Jiang Xi still thinks a little bit in English now, so he repeated the sentence in English, and he felt that this could better express the meaning.

Lin Wang can also be regarded as someone who has lived in Australia since he was a child. He can understand what Jiang Xi wants to express, and it is precisely because of this that his heart hurts and becomes colder.

"You...can't you love me unconditionally and without a bottom line?" Lin Wang didn't dare to hug him, his heart broke every time he uttered a word, "Just like... I love you."

"I know you want to hear it, but I can't do it, so I can't lie to you." Jiang Xi held his face and looked at him, "Or it can be said that you are the only one in my life, maybe I can I love you unconditionally and without a bottom line. But if I have no conditions and a bottom line, how far can the two of us go? So, compared to giving the same love to make you feel at ease, I would rather you blame me but let us go on for a long time."

Between equality and long-term, Jiang Xi chose long-term.

"...I see," Lin Wang was trembling all over, his hands and feet were cold and stiff, but he still managed to mobilize all his muscles to hold Jiang Xi in his arms, "Let's... let's go on for a long time. Just like this for a lifetime Yes, okay?"

Between equality and long-term, Lin Wang also chose long-term.

"Okay," Jiang Xi put his chin on his shoulder, and kissed his neck sideways, "Stop treating me like this, and I won't hide it from you. Because, it's just you."

"Okay," Lin Wang buried his face in Jiang Xi's neck, and replied with sobs, "I can't want anyone else."

This kind of heart-wrenching and heart-wrenching emotion is enough for Lin Wang to devote all his love, and it is precisely because of this that he has no extra affection for others.

"Brother, I don't want to force you, I brought Alps here, you make your own choice." Jiang Xi rubbed Lin Wang's trembling back, "But I hope you can take that step, not for others, just for me, Just because of our relationship."

If Lin Wang dies, then once Jiang Xi is a little bit out of his expected control, he will lose control and riot. Although he promised not to treat Jiang Xi like that, once there is a riot, many factors are uncontrollable. Maybe he'll find another way to vent.

But no matter what, Jiang Xi was the point of riot, and Jiang Xi was the point of tolerance most of the time.

Maybe Jiang Xi can obediently stay within the range of control that Lin Wang set for him forever, maybe Lin Wang can control himself not to hurt Jiang Xi during riots, but everything is said now, for this sake, neither of them We all understand that this may not be able to withstand the polishing of life and the passage of time.

Lin Wang's death is a hidden danger buried in the relationship between the two of them.

Jiang Xi didn't force him, he asked Lin Wang to force himself, the treatment will only work if he is truly willing to take that step.

"I..." Lin Wang opened his mouth to say something, but his throat seemed to be blocked by something, and he could only utter one syllable and couldn't continue.

For a moment, he wanted to agree to Jiang Xi, but in the next second, the broken scene of that year flashed before his eyes.

The constantly flickering computer screen, the black case emitting white smoke, the mother's extremely crazy excitement and the piercing eardrum, causing headaches and splitting screams.

This fragment alone was enough to make him cringe.

"Brother, I love you," Jiang Xi sensed Lin Wang's emotional fluctuations, and hugged him with more strength, "I love you, I love you. I don't want to lose you, can you rest assured that I will be alone? Handy, can't pack luggage, don't blow hair after shower, picky eaters, don't like hygiene..."

"Stop it..." Lin Wang gritted his teeth, but his voice was still trembling, "Stop it baby, you know I can't stand it."

Jiang Xi knows how to grasp the scale, he knows that Lin Wang has reached the critical point: "Then you hug me, hug me to sleep, I'm sleepy."

"Okay," Lin Wang heaved a sigh of relief, lifted Jiang Xi up, and the two of them turned over and fell on the bed together, covered him with the quilt, kissed his eyelids, and sighed softly, "Good night."

Jiang Xi straightened his neck and pecked Lin Wang's lips: "Good night."

After Jiang Xi found a comfortable place to nest in his arms, Lin Wang stretched out his long arms and turned off the light, then gently hugged him into his arms and fell asleep with his scent on his pillow.

Jiang Xi was really tired today, and he didn't fall asleep because of his hunger to make it clear to Lin Wang.But now that he has talked to Lin Wang, his energy is gone, and he basically falls asleep as soon as he touches the pillow.

However, one person is destined to be unable to sleep tonight.

After the two of them maintained this posture for several hours, Lin Wang quietly moved his hands away, and quietly lifted the quilt and got out of bed.

He took out the things in his trouser pocket and walked to the balcony.

The coming of summer means that the days are getting longer. When Lin looked out, it was the time when day and night alternated. A fireball rose from the horizon in the distance, and the surrounding black clouds were receding steadily.

Looking at the scene in the distance, Lin Wang couldn't help but think of that morning, it was also at this time that day, he and Jiang Xi saw the first sunrise, and they kissed deeply before sunrise.

He will remember that kiss forever.

He will love that person forever.

Lin Wang put the cigarette case and lighter on the balcony, leaving only the business card behind.

He took out his mobile phone, entered the number according to the number written on the business card, and pressed the dial button.

The call was quickly connected, and the voice of the person on the other end was hoarse when he first woke up but also filled with expected joy: "I'm free anytime."

Looking at the sunrise in the distance, Lin Wang said slowly but firmly, "Then I will go to you too."

The author has something to say:

emm... I learn languages ​​by myself, so many times the first language in my mind will be English, and many times when I type, I will form an English sentence in my mind, and then I will translate it into Chinese.

So, the phrase 'I will always love you but I will never forgive you' was said when I had an argument with Ms. A, and I said it in English at that time, so when I used it in this scene, I typed in Chinese, but I think it is still necessary to type in English, because many times some words are more flavorful when spoken in Chinese than in English, but in the same way, some words are more flavorful when spoken in English than Chinese...I don’t know Can you understand the rhyme of this language.. Uh.. If you can’t, please ignore the English sentence, thank you.

ah!Zhang Yixing's lotus and GAI's lotus are really nice to hear. I bought Zhang Yixing's entire album for the song "Lian". It's amazing.. The other songs feel flat.. I can't make mistakes but they don't catch my ears.

Have you watched the sister who rides the wind and waves?Really super nice!Du Hua really confuses me!

Recently, when I wrote a report, I was almost scolded by Ms. A, because I was learning French at the same time. You know that some French words are very similar to English words, so I often use some French when writing.

Miss A: Why do you write French here?This is an English report! !English! !

I shivered and shivered, not daring to make a sound.

Daily Saying: Please collect and comment, I really want to read comments, refill~~~