hope for redemption

The freshly baked test report still exudes a slightly burnt ink fragrance, and you can feel a faint warmth when you hold it in your hand.An Sheng took the test report and walked impatiently towards Jiang Xi's room, wanting to tell him the good news.

Just as he opened the door, he found that the person who was supposed to be recuperating on the bed was sitting on the carpet, with a pile of miscellaneous things scattered around him.

An Sheng looked around the entire bedroom again, and found that the nurse who was supposed to be with him was gone, so he frowned displeasedly, walked over and asked, "Why are you here alone, where is the nurse?"

Jiang Xi had heard the sound of her high-heeled shoes going upstairs a long time ago, she kept rummaging through her hands, and replied without raising her head: "I asked her to get me something to eat, I'm hungry."

As soon as I said this, the nurse brought the food from the kitchen, An Sheng put the documents on the ground, and took the plate from her: "Go and do other things, as long as I'm here."

The nurse responded, put Jiang Xi's crutches beside him, and then retreated from the room, closing the door behind him.

"Don't eat too much, you just woke up." An Sheng sat next to Jiang Xi, picked up a knife and fork and divided a small portion of the food on the plate, "Even if you are not full, wait a few hours before eating .”

"I know." Jiang Xi put the box aside, took the knife and fork from her hand, and ate the meal on the plate slowly.

Jiang Xi has been in a coma for more than two months. When he just woke up, his limbs seemed to be useless. You can feel it but you can't move at all.My stomach was also empty, and I didn't feel much at first, but gradually the hunger that I hadn't eaten for more than two months swept through my body without warning, like a gluttonous body feeling like I could eat up all the food in the world.

But the stomach that hasn't eaten for so long can't stand it, so I can only start with light liquid food, eat small portions, eat small meals every day, and gradually adapt.It had been a day or two since he woke up and there was finally something solid to chew on in his meals.

"Your test report is out." An Sheng opened the file and held it in front of Jiang Xi so that he could read it while eating.

Jiang Xi poked a piece of scrambled egg, glanced up, and said without interest: "You just tell me the result, I feel a headache."

"The result is pretty good, no head injury." An Sheng took the file away with some helplessness, "But the broken bone in the abdomen still hasn't fully healed, so I still have to rest in bed. The wound on the back has scabbed over the past few days. It will itch, remember not to scratch, just let it fall off naturally."

As soon as Jiang Xi mentioned the wound on his back, he couldn't help frowning impatiently. The completely disfigured skin with no good skin flashed in front of his eyes, and he asked worriedly: "Will there be scars?"

"Yes," An Sheng looked at his irritable face, couldn't help but raise the corners of his mouth, and finally thought that he just woke up, suppressed his teasing thoughts, and said in relief, "Don't worry, I will remove it for you. , to ensure that it can be restored to its previous appearance.”

Jiang Xi stuffed a mouthful of vegetables and asked blankly, "Laser?"

"Not necessarily, it depends on your specific situation after the scab is removed." An Sheng casually pulled out a classmate book from the pile of miscellaneous items, and read it directly without Jiang Xi's consent. It is recommended to choose another plan.”

"Well...I'm going to do it in Korea," Jiang Xi asked unceremoniously, but she didn't dare to use the same coquettish tone as before.

Jiang Xi knew that the meeting between him and Song Dengchen was not a dream, although he could not give any scientific explanation for it, but he could feel that it was not a dream, it happened in real.When Jiang Xi woke up from the bed in the Australian room, he still seemed to be able to feel the warmth of Song Dengchen pressing against his forehead.

That was definitely not a dream.Jiang Xi firmly believed, so everything Song Dengchen said was true.

In the past two days, Jiang Xi has been thinking about the scene where the two of them met, thinking about every word Song Dengchen said.The more he thought about it, the more he didn't know how to face An Sheng, how to deal with all these things in a way that was best for everyone.

But no matter what, Jiang Xi could no longer treat An Sheng with the indifference and disgust he had before.But he himself has not figured out everything, so when facing An Sheng, his emotions are very twisted, in a state of vagueness and vacillation.

But An Sheng didn't notice his unnaturalness, and was always on high alert, carefully analyzing every word Jiang Xi said and every action he made.

Now as soon as he said he was going to Korea, he knew what he was up to, and immediately came up with anger, and said with a cold face: "I will do it in Australia."

"I don't want to do it in Australia." Jiang Xi refused directly when he thought of the doctor's skills in Tu'ao, "The doctor can't even drill an ear piercing..."

"It seems that you haven't given up on that time in England." An Sheng clenched his fists, gritted his teeth and growled, "Why are you always so ignorant of reality?"

"What?" Jiang Xi was confused by her sudden change of attitude, and it took her a long time to figure it out. She thought she wanted to escape by taking the opportunity to propose going to Korea.

It was only at this time that he realized that there was a big and deep conflict between him and An Sheng, which made their relationship and conversations often not on the same channel.

"No, I..." Jiang Xi wanted to explain, but he couldn't deny that he didn't want to leave. I didn't know what to say for a long time, and finally said discouragedly, "I don't know how to tell you, I I haven’t figured it out yet, I’ll talk to you after I’ve sorted it out. Anyway, I don’t mean that, I just think that Tu’ao doctor’s skills are not good enough.”

He was very surprised by Jiang Xi's patient explanation of An Sheng. Although his tone and expression were a little twisted, it was better than the expected disgust and scolding.

She was stunned for a moment, then unconsciously slowed down and said, "Then invite a doctor from South Korea to do it here."

"Okay, whatever you want," Jiang Xi replied sullenly, stirring the pasta in the bowl with a fork.

"Well," An Sheng replied happily. Jiang Xi's compromise and submissiveness extinguished the anger in her heart. She felt that Sabrina's words were reasonable. You can't grasp the heart and experience at the same time. You have to do the most important thing first. next one.

Thinking of this, a thought suddenly flashed in her mind, while flipping through the old classmate book, she pretended to ask casually: "The Spring Festival holiday will be in a few days, what do you want to do for this year's trip?" place?"

Because Noah's Ark gathers people from all over the world, it does not have a uniform vacation time, and it respects the cultures of various countries and takes vacations according to the traditions of various countries.

Every year, the three of them take their vacations in sync with the domestic Spring Festival vacations. In the past, this time was the time when they planned family trips and went to various countries for vacation and relaxation.

As soon as he heard An Sheng's question, the ironic words of 'go to Korea' came to his lips.Fortunately, Jiang Xi reacted quickly enough without opening his mouth to pronounce. It seems that a certain kind of thinking can easily form a stereotype after a long time.

He stuffed the last bite of food into his mouth, chewed and thought for a while, swallowed the food and replied: "Go, I haven't recovered from my injury, so it's no fun to go."

"You don't need to lie in bed all day, you still need to move around occasionally," An Sheng smiled, "and there are more moderate activities. We can go to Dubai to watch the car show, or go to France to watch the early spring show, or Going to Palm Springs for wine tasting has a lot to offer."

"It doesn't have to be in just one country. Didn't we just fly to the United States and Canada in 16? We can play in several countries, what do you think?"

Recalling the previous trips, Jiang Xi also became interested, and said with a smile: "That's okay, let me think about it... I would rather go to Palm Springs to taste wine. When I saw Kardashian, I thought it was very fun."

"Well, I know," An Sheng felt that the relationship was easing up, and he stopped sullenly, chatting as before, "Your brother wants to go to Finland to see the snow, he said that he almost forgot about it after staying in Australia for a long time." There is still the season of winter. But you are afraid of the cold, do you want to go?"

"It's all right, I just feel that flying will be more tiring," Jiang Xi said.

"Well, yes, and your body can't bear such a toss, so you can't go too far..." When Jiang Xi's body was mentioned, An Sheng felt that it was really not suitable to go to a farther place this year, and suddenly felt a little nervous. Can't make up my mind.

Jiang Xi pushed the dinner plate aside, packed the things in the box, and said, "If you really want to take me with you, you can go for a walk around Australia. The snow scene in New Zealand seems to be pretty good?"

"Ah, yes, we haven't been to New Zealand yet, so it's so close." When Jiang Xi mentioned this, An Sheng suddenly remembered that there was still such a place, and all the itinerary was planned in his mind at once, " In this way, there are several famous wineries in Australia.”

"Well, the area along the southeast coast." Jiang Xi took out the iron box and replied unhurriedly.

"Yes," An Sheng nodded enthusiastically, feeling full of energy and promising future.In order to continue this friendly atmosphere, she shook the classmate book in her hand and asked, "What are you doing? Are they all things from your elementary school?"

Jiang Xi paused when he opened the iron box, and smiled slightly: "It's about the same, it's all from when I was in Guangzhou."

At that time, Jiang Xi was in a hurry to return to Tao County from Guangzhou. Jiang Tiancheng didn't give him any chance to choose what to bring and what not to bring. He just called someone to come over and pack all the things in the room away. The gesture of completely removing the traces of Jiang Xi's life here.

Those few boxes of items had been kept in the room after Jiang Xi returned to Tao County, and Jiang Xi was not in the mood to open them to recall the past.

It was a coincidence that Jiang Xi followed An Sheng and the others from Taoxian County to Australia in a hurry, and it was the same as the time in Guangzhou, so he didn't give a choice and packed up all the things in the room.When I arrived in Australia, I found out that these boxes of things had also been shipped over when I was sorting things out.

At that time, Jiang Xi had just learned about Song Dengchen's death, so he didn't have the courage to take it apart to see it.They have been piled in the corner of the window.

After waking up, Jiang Xi immediately thought of these boxes of items, and asked the nurse to help him move them out.When opening it, Jiang Xi's mood was very complicated, as if opening a storage box with the past deliberately buried with his own hands.That is anticipation and fear.

The items inside were piled up very messily. I don't know whether it was like this when it was first packed, or it was bumped like this after two successive turnings and transportation.

The process of sorting out past objects is like a treasure hunt. They are all things you have used, but as time goes by, your memory is constantly being washed and refurbished.The memory of certain subtle and weak places disappeared quietly in this long river, and was replaced by another thick memory fragment.

So when you look at an item, you might be in awe and think: How am I going to buy this?Or, it was me who wrote such stupid words?

In short, you can see many cute little things in your past that subvert your self-perception.You don't feel ashamed of them and take them as incriminating evidence.On the contrary, you will cherish these objects that bring you unexpected surprises and regard them as treasures of time.

Compared to Jiang Xi's relaxed and cheerful, An Sheng trembled violently after hearing what he said, as if falling into an ice cellar.

Guangzhou, to her, is a city that is both dirty and beautiful.

I don't know why, but it's obviously just the place where she and Jiang Xi, she and Jiang Xu met and had the best memories together.But since they came to Australia, all three of them have kept silent and evaded it secretly.

So much so that this is the first time the word Guangzhou appeared in their conversation in so many years.

An Sheng felt that a big hand was choking her breathing. She stopped her waist unnaturally, tensed her muscles, and asked with a trembling voice: "Why are there things from your childhood in Guangzhou here?"

"When we came here, they were packaged and shipped together." Jiang Xi pursed her lips, "I just haven't opened it."

"Then..." An Sheng closed the classmate book, threw it away as if throwing something dirty, and moved his seat away from the piled items, "Then how did you think of it now? Organized?"

"I..." Jiang Xi paused with his hands holding the things, lowered his head and thought for a long time, and finally decided to try to have a good talk with An Sheng.

He withdrew his hand, straightened his sitting posture, raised his head and met An Sheng's eyes with a serious and serious expression: "During the two months I was in a coma, I dreamed of Brother Deng Chen."

The word Dengchen is like a giant nail falling from the sky, starting directly from An Sheng's Tianling Point, passing through it and nailing her whole body in place.The surrounding perception gradually blurred, the body began to break and disappear like fragments, and the existence was stripped away from this world.

Jiang Xi stared at An Sheng intently before he started to say this, observing her expression, naturally he would not miss her pale face and out-of-focus eyes for a moment.

At this moment, his heart convulsed violently, and the pain that made it difficult to breathe spread all over his body instantly.It was at this time that all his incomprehension, all resentment, and all dissatisfaction towards An Sheng instantly turned into ashes and disappeared.All that's left is love and compassion.

In addition to life, there is actually one thing that can change a person, and that is 'love' that makes people feel that it is both abstract and concrete.

His inferior, sensitive and strong sister, because of love, had suffered so much, she forcibly transformed herself into another person, another person that she might even hate herself.

Jiang Xi couldn't bear to look away, and murmured with choked eyes, "Sister..."

"Did you dream of him?" An Sheng murmured absent-mindedly, "It seems...he hasn't been in my dream for a long time..."

"No, it's not a dream..." Jiang Xi hurriedly explained, but he didn't know what to say, "It's just very real, you know, it's me...I feel like I really saw him, it's like entering another dream. The spatial dimension, into those worlds where the lost, the soul lives..."

However, this is not what An Sheng cares about at all, because she doesn't believe in these ghosts and gods at all, and Jiang Xi was hit on the head at that time. The dialogue was his illusion caused by the injury at that time.

"Well," An Sheng answered absently, and immediately asked, "What did you dream about him?"

"I...too much," Jiang Xi said with a little sadness in his eyes, "His appearance hasn't changed at all, he's still so gentle..."

Speaking of this, Jiang Xi suddenly remembered the most important thing. He grabbed An Sheng's hand excitedly and happily, staring at her with bright eyes and said: "He said that we are a family, and he said that his goal in life has never been It’s not to be someone in power or to pass on a certain language, he just hopes that the two of us can live the life we ​​want and be loved sincerely and warmly.”

"He wants us to be happy, free..."

Jiang Xi was completely immersed in the atmosphere of reminiscing and narrating, and happily told An Sheng all the conversations as verbatim as possible, wanting her to know what Song Dengchen was thinking, and how they should live up to his expectations .

Because of this, he didn't notice An Sheng's increasingly cold face and the anger jumping in her eyes at all.

Before Jiang Xi could finish speaking, An Sheng shook off his hand, staring at Jiang Xi as if an Ice Age storm was erupting.

"That's enough, Jiang Xi!" An Sheng's nostrils bulged sharply as he exhaled, his voice seemed to be mixed with ice and snow, "How did you become like this?"

"Ah?" Jiang Xi realized that he really didn't understand An Sheng's thoughts at all. Why did he behave like this again? He frowned in confusion, "What's wrong with me? No, why are you...what are you doing?"

Jiang Xi originally wanted to say that you were crazy, but when the words came to his mouth, he felt that it was impossible, and he couldn't aggravate the conflict, so he had to speak well.

But An Sheng didn't notice, and he didn't even have the idea to have a good talk with him, so the wording and tone were naturally sharp: "Don't you know what you think? I didn't expect you to become so weak, just An ambush actually made you use Brother Chen to fabricate lies to cover up your cowardice."

"What?" Jiang Xi couldn't keep up with her channel at all, so naturally she couldn't understand her words.Besides, Jiang Xi had been favored by Lin Wang for a long time, and his temper became more and more violent, and his patience quickly ran out, "What the hell are you talking about? Can you think like a normal person? Also, where did I make up a lie? I said It's all true!"

"You didn't make it up?" An Sheng sneered disappointedly, "What's wrong with saying 'live the life you want and be loved sincerely and passionately'?"

"Certainly not, this is..."

"Brother Chen, he would never say such a thing!" An Sheng screamed and interrupted him, stood up abruptly, pointed at Jiang Xi's nose and said viciously, "It's you! It's you! In those little Where, you, who have been worn out of blood and pride in that kind of warm-water life! That's why you fucking say such words that don't think about making progress and evading yourself."

"Even if it was true, it was said in your dream. Do you know how dreams are formed? It is formed by the subconscious mind in your mind!"

"Live the life you want? Heh, is the life you want to live a useless life with that kind of garbage. Being loved sincerely and passionately? Are you living in a fucking fairy tale world, and you actually believe that What kind of person would give you such love?"

"Listen to yourself what this is all about! Only a coward would have such escapist thoughts and say something like this! I don't understand, isn't it just an ambush? Are you dead or amputated? I broke my leg, so you don't hesitate to use Brother Chen's mouth to say it..."

Jiang Xi didn't even bother to keep up with An Sheng's brain circuit. He was completely blown away by what An Sheng said. Standing up tremblingly on crutches, he roared: "What is that kind of person? What is that kind of person?" Kind of rubbish! Lin Wang is not what you say! The life I want is not what you describe! Can you stop judging my thinking with your own prejudices. "

"What's the matter, huh?" An Sheng didn't help him, but watched him struggling to stand upright, "The grades are not good, fighting No. 1, relying on the little savings of his family to do nothing, idle. Let me ask you, Your so-called lover, can he pass the exam... what's that called... can he pass the third exam?"

"He's not going this way! He's a man of absolute ability, and he's joining the government..."

"Oh! A person with absolute ability, a person with absolute ability who suffers from riots," An Sheng approached suddenly, and said coldly, "What is he called? Abandoned son! You don't know what an abandoned son is. Well, the most humble, most despicable existence in Noah's Ark."

"Ah, no, a person like him doesn't even have the qualifications to exist. This is you, Jiang Xi, a good lover who is ready to give his whole life to you!"

"You fucking!" Jiang Xi resisted the urge to yell, and kept thinking about what Song Dengchen had said to him to stay sane, and explained under fire, "Lin Wang's riot is almost over, and he will go to participate in the government's riot before I leave. The talent has been selected. I believe that with his ability, he will definitely be able to pass. He will work for the government in the future. You know the Chinese government..."

"Do you believe it? Do you believe that this world can become a reality?" An Sheng didn't want to talk about Lin Wang with him at all, "Even if he passes by, so what if he works for the Chinese government in the future? Is he worthy of you? "

"Worthy...worthy?" Jiang Xi was dumbfounded by her words, and shouted in astonishment, "Oh my god! This is the 21st century! Sister! Where did you come from? An old-fashioned idea of ​​matching the family?"

"Besides, you... do you think that I am too good, do you think that only those billionaires and capital giants are worthy of me?"

An Sheng didn't answer his last question, and asked coldly: "Do you think the family is right and old-fashioned? Well, let me ask you, assuming that after you get together, your monthly income will be tens of millions or tens of millions. As a guarantee, assuming that he works for the Chinese government, I will give him the amount of money paid according to the highest salary in a capitalist country, which can be hundreds of thousands. With such a big gap in the amount, are you sure you can overcome the hardships of life? "

"It's not just the difference in the amount of money, the things you meet and the world you face are completely different levels. Telling you like this, do you still feel that you are well-matched and old-fashioned?"

"No," Jiang Xi was very speechless to her thoughts, and said with a complicated expression, "Have you forgotten what I told you, I will never stay in Noah's Ark. So there is no such thing as what you said , tens of millions, tens of millions of money every month."

"Oh, look, you're really cowardly." An Sheng sneered with an expression I knew, "You're so scared before you touch the hem of Death's clothes, Jiang Xi, you really let me disappointed."

"Fuck me! I can't tell you the fuck!" Jiang Xi was so pissed off by her that he nearly spat out a mouthful of old blood, "What do you think..."

"You and I can't tell." An Sheng picked up the plate and glanced at Jiang Xi, "Give up as soon as possible, and don't force me to do anything to you. No matter what, I will let you grow up."

After she finished speaking, she walked out with a sullen face, with an expression of wanting to kill, completely ignoring Jiang Xi who was yelled at by her angrily, wishing to destroy the world.

After such a long time, the relationship between the two had finally eased a little bit and immediately dropped back to freezing point.

The author has something to say:

After going through so much, An Sheng will definitely not change his thoughts because of the words in this illusory dream, but he will only feel that Jiang Xi is escaping reality insanely there and making excuses.