do not want to reincarnate

If there is an afterlife, no longer human,

Willing to be the river, drifting with the tide,

Willing to be dust, go with the wind.

Red dust leaves, turned into dust,

I don't want to be reborn as a human anymore.

I set foot on the peak, but I can't see you,

I borrow things to think about people, but tears fall like rain.

The 32-year-old me and the 34-year-old him now, we haven’t contacted each other again. It’s been more than three years. How are you doing with him in my heart?doing what?Do you miss me?

After returning home three years ago, I was in a trance and couldn't get out of the grief. My family introduced a girl to me, but I didn't go to meet her. I said I like men.

My mother cried, she knew it a long time ago, she said she knew it would happen a long time ago, it was in the first year of my relationship, because I always held my mobile phone and giggled, she secretly looked at my mobile phone, there was me and a Photos of men kissing.

Although my mother didn't understand, she didn't introduce girls to me, didn't force me to get married, and she didn't ask me about the man in the photo?Why go home and look for a job?

She is someone who has experienced it, and I think she understands it, and it is precisely because she understands that I don't ask.

My mother has had a hard life for most of her life, and she sees it better than many people.

The factory in the town expanded, and I became a line leader.

On my birthday when I was 33 years old, he suddenly sent me a message and asked me: "What are you doing?"

My heart is already calm, occasionally tossing and turning, I will secretly shed tears, I know, it is impossible for us.

I didn't reply, but he sent another message: "I'm on a business trip."

Many thoughts flashed in my mind, and I said that I would go to my friend's place tomorrow.

The weather was very hot this day, and I was sweating in the car. The moment I got out of the car, I saw that person I hadn’t seen for more than four years. He fanned himself with the palm of his hand. He walked towards me quickly, as if he wanted to get closer but didn't dare, his face was full of tangled surprises that couldn't be concealed.

However, the same is true for me. He is dark and thin, and the fingers that wipe sweat are yellow, which is stained by smoking too much.

What kind of life has he lived in the past few years?

As soon as I got close to him, I smelled a smell of sweat, and I would be disgusted when I went to a restaurant, so I bought him a piece of clothing and he went to the toilet to change.

Sitting in a private room in a restaurant, he dawdled to my side, touched my hand, touched it again, and I grabbed his hand.His hand is still the same, with a familiar feeling and a familiar outline, I touched it with nostalgia, I knew he was looking at me, and he didn't miss a single spot.

I said you lost weight.

He said you too.

Smile at each other.

He held me in his arms very tightly, his tears fell down on my neck drop by drop, and my tears wet his shoulders.

He said "I love you."